Author's Musings:
Yeah, I originally thought this was just going to be a oneshot. HA. My brain had other ideas and now I'm publishing this and have ideas for like 3 more chapters. No promises on the timeline for those though. Also, don't expect much in the way of overarching story, I'm just having fun with this. I am enamored with what I now call Baker! Shirou.
I figure its important that I mention this as well: Shirou does not come from one of the three official Fate/Stay Night routes. His background probably resembles Unlimited Blade Works the most, but really there are only three things that need to have happened to him. One: Shirou fights Archer. Two: Rin becomes Saber's master. Three: Shirou beats Gilgamesh. That's it so far, I may play it fast and loose with his past later though.
As far as this chapter goes, I apologize for it being somewhat more serious. I wanted to explore the powers of Baker! Shirou a bit more so I wrote this. Expect this to become silly again in later events. The phrase "This body is made of scones" will definitely come up (A big thanks to jordanlink7856 for pointing it out to me in the first place. I can't believe I missed it).
Anyway that's enough from me. Let me know what could use work or what you really liked. Enjoy!
Disclaimer:
I do not own anything related to Fate/Stay Night or anything else that is referenced below in any way, shape, or form.
The Clocktower: Some Time Later
Rin didn't particularly like visiting the Clocktower cafeteria these days. It was far too reminiscent of some sort of temple rather than just a place to eat. But in the name of research she would just have to deal with it, even if it did put her in a bad mood. Without making eye contact with anyone Rin strode through the crowded room and weaved between the austere wooden tables. She carefully didn't look at the absurdly long line of people headed towards the serving window and special attention was paid to ignoring how each person kneeled and seemed to say a short prayer before taking one of the offered plates. Since she was ignoring the people in the room, she was unfortunate enough to notice that another statue had been installed. It was of Shirou in an apron pointing forward with a wooden spoon. Again. Rin rolled her eyes, how original.
The candles were also a pain and did nothing to improve Rin's mood. The light was spotty at best and
"Son of a.." Rin did her best to muffle her curse as she quickly stumbled the rest of the way to the kitchen access door. She did not look back despite her growing irritation. She really did not want to know who she had almost tripped over as they bowed low towards the kitchen. Opening the door as far as she dared Rin slipped inside and let the door shut before she let out a sigh of relief. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and let the heavenly aromas wash over her. It helped. A little. The sounds followed soon after and she recognized the familiar rushing noise of many ovens working at full power simultaneously and the clatter of pans being rapidly arranged. Regathering her will Rin opened her eyes again.
Contrary to the atmospheric and dim cafeteria, the kitchen was awash in bright light that reflected off the many shiny surfaces. Only stainless steel would do here apparently. A dusting of flour drifted through the air and Rin forcibly repressed any memories that tried to come forward as she noticed it. She did the same thing when she noticed the hodge podge of ovens at the back of the spacious room. Old and new alike, the appliances, or even structures, blazed with heat that did not seem to effect the figure working tirelessly in front of them.
"Only you, Shirou," She called out.
"Hmm," came the reply as Shirou looked up from the dough he was kneading. He was clad in his now customary clothing consisting of grey pants, navy blue shirt, and white half apron. A white bandana, its ends flapping in a nonexistent wind, completed the ensemble. Scattered on the counter around him were bowls full baking ingredients like flour, sugar, milk, and various fruits.
"Only you would actually bake for everyone in the Clocktower when you could easily just wave your hand and be done with it." Rin smirked a bit before adding to herself in a mutter, "stupid, rule breaking pastries."
Shirou frowned at the statement.
"But I don't want to serve my…. Guests ...faked food," he said using the slang word for objects duplicated with thaumaturgy, "It's not the same Rin," the red haired magus shook his head and smiled, "it also has the added benefit of being much more relaxing this way. Did you know people have started asking for my advice on matters now? Or even my blessing. It's a little unnerving and this helps me unwind." The smile never faltered even as Shirou spoke such an absurd statement. All the while his hands continued to knead.
"You do seem much calmer than when you got back," Mentally, Rin questioned Shirou's usage of the word guests. She wasn't sure that it adequately described the legions of fanatical devotees flocking to Shirou. Rin forced the thoughts away and tried not to think about it. It was better for her sanity that way, but she did have one question...
"But what about when you first came back? You had no problem with serving 'faked' food when we were in your reality marble."
Shirou nodded at her question while absentmindedly reaching for a bowl of blueberries and working them into his dough.
"Well when I do that everyone is in my world. And there, inside my soul, those pastries are just as real as the ones I make here." A gesture to some cooling scones on a counter across the room accompanied his words. It made a twisted kind of sense to Rin and she laughed bitterly to herself. Shirou looked up, worried.
"Is something wrong Rin?"
Several answers to that question flickered through Rin's mind. There were many things wrong.
"Not really, I'm just realizing that I find the man with a perception of reality so skewed he can alter the world easier to deal with and more reasonable than his fan club. It does not bode well for my sanity."
"Well," began shirou as a knife materialized in his hand, "I always thought you were at least a bit crazy." He swiftly cut the dough into triangles and transferred them to a baking sheet that formed itself out of prana.
"Shirrrrou," Rin ground out, her rage building.
"I mean why else would you choose to help someone like me through the war when I didn't even help you first?" Rin felt her anger deflate. He still hadn't changed. It was sometimes hard to notice, and was covered up well, but Shirou wasn't normal. His sense of self worth was largely nonexistent and other than a few instances, such as his return to the Clocktower, and he never seemed proud of anything except his cooking.
"Oh you hopeless idiot. And what do you mean by..." Wait. Had she just used idiot as term of endearment? Rin felt her face begin to flush. She was NOT attracted to that idiot. Quick, quick gotta cover it up! Putting her one hand on her hip and pointing at Shirou with the other Rin raised her voice.
"A-And what do you mean by 'someone like me'!" Unperturbed by her sudden outburst Shirou opened one of the ovens behind him and, barehanded, pulled out a tray of perfectly browned scones before inserting the tray of fresh dough.
"We've had this argument before Rin. I'm not worth worrying over." Rin hesitated, her emotions warring, but Shirou continued in the meantime, "more importantly, what do you need? I know you avoid the cafeteria these days." Rin's pride and practicality won out over her concern, so she let the topic drop in favor of her goal. She had plenty of time to work on Shirou's issues, but right now there was something she needed.
"I would like one of your scones." at her statement, Shirou's smile grew impossibly wide. The whole room brightened in response.
"Really?! What flavor! I'll make it fresh!" he rapidly started shuffling his ingredients and cleaning his work station. Rin sighed.
"To use your words, we have had this argument before. There is no way I'm eating one of your mind control scones. I rather like my brain. Thank you very much."
"They are not 'mind control' scones! I'm just a good cook and they make people happy." In a rare display of intense emotion Shirou's clenched hands were nearly white. Well at least he had some pride in his cooking it seemed, but an angry Shirou was an uncooperative Shirou.
"Stop. Just stop," Rin rubbed the bridge of her nose as Shirou's hands slowly loosened, "I know you want me to try your baking, but I don't want to bias my research." Rin kept telling herself that was the real reason, not fear. Definitely not, "can you just project me one for study. Please." She pulled a small wooden box covered in runes from her red overcoat.
"You sure I can't convince you to try one?" He indicated the cooling scones he had just removed from the oven, "these are apple cinnamon! A crowd favorite."
"Shirou. Scone. Now." Rin opened the runed container and held it out towards the target of her fierce glare.
"Yes ma'am." Shirou replied a little meekly while absentmindedly rubbing the back of his head. WIth a brief blue glow a perfectly formed, still steaming scone appeared in the box. She quickly closed and sealed it. Mission accomplished.
"Have you made any progress with your examinations? I heard you mention something about 'rule breaking' earlier and I never have been super fond of that word combination," His grimace at past events didn't last long as Shirou collected some plates from the 'return' window that led to the cafeteria and headed towards the large bank of sinks.
"Bad memories aside, your pastry projections, or tracings I suppose, don't follow the usual rules or make much sense. I have discovered a couple interesting phenomena, but I still don't know why they happen. Your description of tracing as opposed to projection doesn't cover it. Recreating the entirety of an item's history and properties, as opposed to just its form, would not cause what I have observed to happen." Rin let out a grunt of frustration, "it is vexing."
"I'm sure you will figure it out eventually. You are a much better magus than I am after all. Issues aside, what is so 'interesting' as you put it. Sometimes I get nervous when you use that word." Shirou was now elbow deep in sudsy water.
Rin smirked at the compliment and answered, much of her usual confidence finally surfacing now that the topic had shifted to something much more to her liking. She could only take so much of Shirou's special insanity in a day, and showing off her own intelligence was always a mood lifter.
"Very well. I suppose I'll explain some of your own mysteries to you. Or at least what I have been able to glean about them."
Despite her haughty tone Shirou smiled. Rin saw it and knew he had set this opportunity up to help make her feel better. She didn't like being manipulated, but the root be damned if she wasn't going to take advantage of it anyway. It just went to show he was actually really nice…. Considerate too…. And not bad looking….. Focus Rin, resist the urge to throw anything at him. This is not the time and he is not cute. At all. Clutching her magical scone container to stop herself from doing anything else with her hands, Rin fought down a blush and continued as best she was able. Hopefully Shirou would be too dense to notice anything amiss.
"My discoveries so far can really be lumped under two general areas. The first relates to how all projections are temporary as the world itself recognizes them as unnatural and works to break them down. Your tracing may last longer than standard projection, but it still adheres to this principle. Your scones do as well, but not in the normal way. From what I have been able to tell, it is not the world rejecting them that causes them to vanish over time. In fact, they appear to be perfect in just about every way and should last nearly indefinitely since the world isn't interfering, but without fail they dissipate after a day or two. I just don't get it!"
Rin tucked her runic box away, abandoned her lecturing pose, threw her arms up and gave herself over to her rant. She would feel sooo much better after venting and bragging about what she had found so far. Even if it did show that she hadn't figured out everything. She even started pacing just to get into the mood.
"Not that projections lasting over a day isn't already impressive. Normally they don't even last half that long. It's just with the prana structure, stability, and form that your scones have they are essentially indistinguishable from the ones you actually bake. Only someone like you could make a mystery nearly perfect and have it fail anyway." Fully prepared to continue Rin glanced over at Shirou who was watching with an innocent smile and a hint of…apprehension. hmmm. He knew something.
"What is it Shirou? Is there something you want to tell me?" Rin's voice was very calm. Extra calm even, "Do you know something that you neglected to tell me when you said I could study your magecraft? Hmmm?" Shirou seemed nervous for some reason.
"W-well it's not that I know anything for sure, but after listening to you I think you might have been a little too focused on magical explanations."
"And what does that mean?" Her tone was not accusatory. Not at all.
"Rin, um," Shirou seemed to be trying to find the right words, "What happens to real food after a little bit of time?"
"..."
"You ok Rin?"
"It can't be that simple." At this point Rin wasn't even mad, she was just disappointed in herself and a little bit in denial. Or a lot in denial, "Do you really think your magical scones are spoiling?!"
"You did say they were remarkably well made, and tracing does replicate as much of the original object as possible."
Setting aside her incredulity, Rin tried to think logically for a moment. There were implications here she was sure of it. If the scones actually were faking reality more than she initially thought possible then it could explain a great deal of things. In fact….
"That just might be it!" this could be a major breakthrough.
"Soooo," Shirou began delicately, "you think I'm right?"
Count yourself lucky Shirou, I don't care how this came about and I'm going to ignore that last question. I have no time to be petty for you making me feel stupid! This I have to study!
"If your scones actually achieve such a level of realism despite being projections," Rin voice sped up, excitement clear in her voice, " it could lead to a whole new area of magecraft even above tracing! Prana created items that the world doesn't detect as inconsistencies. That's practically a true magic in and of itself! It could be intent based or some other inherent feature. Perhaps in the prana matrices themselves. Hmmm..."
Rin devolved into muttering ideas to herself as one hand unconsciously raised itself to her chin before her other supported it at the elbow. Shirou just kept washing the dishes, occasionally sending an amused and happy smile towards the occupied magus. Rin was in serious research mode so he knew what to expect. He didn't even flinch at the next outburst.
"AND IT ALSO EXPLAINS WHY THEY WORK AS PRANA TRANSFER MEDIUMS!"
A deep breath later Rin continued at a reduced volume.
"That was the other problem I was working on. I mean bodies normally reject any foreign prana unless certain criteria are met," Rin blushed slightly at her own memories of how she met those 'criteria', "but if the scones are this real and are backed with the intent of 'food' then it makes some sense that people can receive prana when they eat them. The body might not reject foreign mana if it has that strong of a beneficial intent behind it. I must run more experiments."
Shirou perked up in interest.
"I thought you never ate any scones? How did you discover the mana transferring properties?"
Rin gave Shirou a look that implied some things about his intelligence or lack thereof.
"I studied someone else as they ate one. Obviously. Wasn't hard to find a volunteer. And don't look so hopeful, I am still not going to try one."
"But Rin…" Did Shirou just whine?
"Mind control Shirou, mind control." For a second it seemed Shirou was about to say something else, but he ended up just shaking his head, "Well thank you for the scone Shirou, I'm off to experiment now," Rin repressed the urge to laugh evilly. Soon she would crack this mystery wide open. A slight laugh, that only an ungracious person would call a cackle, did escape Rin's lips as she walked towards the exit of the kitchen. The not-cackle died in the next moment as Rin opened the door and gazed out into the dim cafeteria.
"Shirou, why are Saber and some others setting up a stage at the far end of the room?" the words were just a little incredulous.
"Oh. Is that today?" Shirou poked his head around the side of the door next to Rin. He ignored the whispers and worshipful glances his appearance caused.
"Is what today."
"My double knighting."
"Ah." Rin deadpanned.
"Well Saber took some of my scones to the current royal family and they wanted to reward me. And Saber herself is a king so…." Rin let the door to the cafeteria door slam shut, barely missing Shirou's head.
"I don't suppose there is a back exit to the kitchen," Rin inquired politely. There was no way she was risking getting caught up in any of that.
"Well not really,"
Stepping back further into the kitchen Rin made her decision.
"Guess I'll just have to make one then," Rin's arm began to glow as she fed power into her thaumaturgical crest and energy coalesced around her fist.
"No Rin! My kitchen!"
An Alternate Universe: Fuyuki City
It was official. Shirou was scared. And he would totally admit it. By chance he had stayed late at school and happened to see a red and blue blur that was a fight between guys that were definitely NOT human. If he had to guess it had something to do with magi, but he really didn't know enough about that to be sure. He really should have pressed Dad harder about that stuff.
The figures had seen Shirou while he was surprised and tried to kill him. And Shirou was pretty sure the guy in blue had succeeded. There was a disturbing gap in his memory right after a flash of pain and the sound of a train. Plus the bloody spot on his chest hurt a lot and was disturbingly close to his heart. Now, despite such events, he was home and had an unexpected guest chasing him out into the hallway.
"C'mon kid, make this easier on yourself and stop running,"
Maybe if he made it to the shed he could grab something better to use as a weapon than the reinforced poster he was holding. Shirou threw himself sideways, leading with his shoulder as he crashed through one of the floor to ceiling windows that looked over his backyard. Behind him he heard the movements of his attacker entering the hallway. Ignoring what few cuts the glass had caused, Shirou sprung to his feet and sprinted across the yard. Or tried to at least. A leg that felt more like an iron bar caught him in the midsection after only two steps.
With a resounding crash Shirou flew through the doors of the large shed that doubled as his workshop and landed in a heap. Through the pain he was glad to note that he had reached his objective even if being on the floor didn't put him in any position to find a weapon. The looming figure with blue hair and a blue bodysuit was something else he noted and the blood red spear was looking almost hungry. With little warning Shirou's assailant lunged forward at extreme speeds, his spear extended. Unrolling the poster still clutched in his hands Shirou held it up as an improvised shield and poured as much prana into reinforcing it as he could. Pain flared along his constructed magic circuit but her shoved it away as best he could.
The poster held for a fraction of a second before failing spectacularly and shredding itself. The spearman twirled his weapon expertly through the drifting scraps before resting it on his shoulder.
"Now that was kinda surprising," He leaned over Shirou and leered down at him, "definitely some magic there. Faint. But there. Maybe you were meant to be the seventh. Ah, not that it matters now. Nothin personal kid," The red spear came off his shoulder and light glinted off it as he swung it into line with Shirou's heart.
Time slowed for Shirou as death came for him in the guise of a blue clad spearman. I was saved. Twice now I was saved. I know my path. I can't die here. I will be a HERO! I won't die at the hands of someone like this! The grail heard his wish. The grail responded. Shirou clenched his left fist as red marks carved themselves upon it in a flash of pain. To the side a forgotten thaumaturgical circle flared to life in brilliant blue.
"What!" cried Shirou's would be killer as he pulled his spear back in defense, "the seventh servant!?"
In a blur of blue and white a figure interposed itself between Shirou and his attacker. Something bright silver shone and was swung with force at the panicking lancer. The blow was caught on the man's cursed spear, but the sheer power behind it threw him clear of the shed and stirred up a blast of wind. Shirou raised his hand to shield his eyes from the dust and squinted to get a better view of who his latest savior was.
It was a man. A white half apron and bandana billowed dramatically in the wake of such a powerful blow. A polished baking sheet, held in the man's hand, reflected the brilliant light of the moon. Silver hair graced his head and his skin, what wasn't covered by grey pants and a long sleeved navy shirt, was weathered and tan.
The man turned and Shirou saw, despite the hair and skin tone differences, his own face framed by moonlight. His double smiled and said,
"I am servant Baker. Upon my summoning I have answered. I ask of thee," here Shirou's silver haired twin let out a fierce grin, his teeth bright against the shadows on his body,
"Are you my master?"
