Aspiring Dark Lords
By caramellxkissx
Disclaimer: I own ze plot. Everything else, J.K. Rowling does.
HARRY POTTER
Harry was walking along the corridors when he heard a maniacall laughter coming from around the corner, which was...Dumbledore's office! "I have to go and save him!" Harry thought, posing his hero-of-the-light-side- pose. And so, Heroic Harry ran along with his cape swishing about him and reached the gargoyle statue. But there was a teeny problem. Harry did not know the password. 'Uh ohhh,' he thought, 'I bet it's the name of a candy!' and he fired the first word that came to his head.
"Lemon drops!"
And yet, the Gargoyle did not budge. Harry thought hard, and scratched his scarred head.
"Uhh Candy Hearts?"
No reaction. And then. RIGHt then! Harry had another vision!
"Muhahahahah! At last! Soon, that stupid Harry Potter will die! And I will be the Darkest Dark Lord there is!" Voldemort cried out to his Death Eaters.
"Yes, M'lord." murmured the shuffling Death Eaters.
Gasp! It was Voldemort and his henchmen! Oh dearie. But Harry was hit with a flash of brilliance. He would use those phrases as the passwords! 'I am soooo smart!' thought he, 'I think even smarter than Hermione! Okay so let's try Muhahahahhah!' And so he did.
"Muhahahahah!" No reaction.
"Alright, at last!" No reaction.
At this Harry frowned but went on. "Soon, that stupid Harry Potter will die!" Yes reaction! But the gargoyle did not move, all it did was say, "Part one of the password is unlocked. Please say the second part now."And so Harry obliged.
"And I will be the Darkest Dark Lord there is!" And voila, the gargoyle moved. 'Wow, that was one hecka weird thingamajiger.' (a/n. I hate that word! it makes the person sound retarded, so HA! harry's retarded) Harry walked in and knocked on the door.
"Enter" came the slightly giggly voice of his revered headmaster, Albus Dumbledore.
"Professor, I heard some maniacal laughter, and just when I was about to say another password, I had another vision!" babbled an excited Harry.
"Harry, do not worry about me. I am a far more experienced wizard than cough you cough are, anyway, tell me about this vision." said Dumbledore sternly.
"Well,----" and Harry told Dumbledore all about it. Afterwords, Dumbledore politely asked him to leave and go back to his dorm, for it was getting quite late, and let all the grown ups take care of this. As Harry was walking back, he thought. Dumbledore had always been kind to him and treated him as an adult. Why would he now ignore him and treat him like an ignorant stupid kid? And as he thought more, the more angry Harry became. Hey! And his passwords. They were, "Soon that stupid Harry Potter will die!" and "And I will be the Darkest Dark Lord there is!" which was pretty suspicious to begin with. He would have to investigate this all by himself because if his friends joined him, they would get all the glory not him. Hmph.
When he finally got to his four-poster bed, he lay down to sleep. He thought about his future plans. He would defeat Lord Voldemort, thus proving Dumbledore that he was experienced and not stupid. IF Dumbledore was still being a bitch, Harry would have to get rid of him. Not kill him! God no, just lock him up, or obliviate him saying one of the Death Eaters got him or something. And then, he would take over the world! He would not be known as the Boy-Who-Lived, but as the Man-Who-Is-The-Ruler-of-the-World!.Yess, and he would get rid of anyone who opposed him! Have all the power in the world. Pretty good plan for an amateur right? But oh my god, McGonnagoll gave him a T on his essay that he forced Hermione to write for him.Hm, he would have to take care of that tomorow. "Muhahahh, teehee!" laughed, giggled, and chuckled Harry with an evil grin on his face.
So yea, I know this chapter was a little short (teehee), but I promise you, it'll get either better or worse. Preferably better, but I won't update until I get like 10 or whatever reviews. Hmmbut I'd like to thank my 1st and so far only reviewer, Shavida! Yeah, other characters will show up too, and since this is a parody, don't expect the original character persona. And yes, it might be a tad stereotypical. Stupid Hero Attention Wanting Harry, Manipulative Dumbledore, etc.
till the next review,
me!
