A/N: Uh… hi again, everyone. Not much to say this time around. Hope you're enjoying, Bailey-dearest.

Warnings: It's not really a warning, but there are a few cameos from really minor characters in this chapter. Rest assured, all the people Haruhi talks to are in DRRR!

Disclaimer: I know we are collectively awesome, but we are not collectively awesome enough to come up with The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi and Durarara!

Panacea: Chapter 2—Meet the Locals

"The Headless Rider?"

"Yes! Have you heard of her? Seen her?"

"Everyone's heard of her. She's an urban legend around here." The blonde shrugged nonchalantly. "If you want, I could try to help you find her."

"What?"

"You put what you're looking for on this…" She flipped the large drawing pad that hung around her neck to a fresh page. "And I advertise it for you!"

Haruhi was quick to snag the marker from the woman's hand, writing "HEADLESS RIDER" in bold print on the paper.

"And our company phone number," she added, scribbling a phone number and email address underneath.

"Hey—that's my cell phone number!" Kyon snatched the marker out of her hand. "Why don't you use your number instead of shoving all the responsibility of keeping track of things on me?"

"Because you're the vice president!" Haruhi snapped. "Don't complain so much, Kyon, it's not like you ever take any initiative and come up with stuff for the club to do, the least you can do is—"

"The least I can do? You're lucky I'm even still in this stupid club—"

"Well I don't need you! If you hate it so much you should just quit!"

Kyon opened his mouth to retort but closed it when he saw Koizumi and Asahina's panicked looks. He sighed. "No, I don't want to quit. I'm sorry, Haruhi."

"Yeah, well, you should be. Come on, we have to talk to more people, someone's bound to have seen her!"

"Mikado~!" Kida plopped onto Mikado's futon. "Are you feeling any better today?"

"Oh, yes." Mikado smiled. "Thank you again for taking care of me, Masaomi."

"What else could I do for a friend in need? Though you know, you should've asked Anri-chan to come stay with you! You could have used your current weakness to seduce her." Kida winked.

Mikado sighed. "Masaomi… it's not like that with Anri-chan and me."

"Oh, don't be silly, Mikado! Anri-chan is clearly head over heels for you!"

"Not just me," Mikado pointed out, "and anyway, it doesn't matter. I don't… like her that way."

Kida frowned. "You did before I left."

"I did," Mikado agreed, "but… things changed."

"What changed?"

Mikado started to reply, but a knock at the door cut him off. Kida glanced at Mikado before hopping up to answer it.

"Hey, Shinra-san," he said, stepping out of the way so Shinra could come in.

"Pardon the intrusion," Shinra said brightly as he kicked off his shoes. "I've come to check on the patient. How are you feeling, Mikado-kun?"

"A lot better, thanks to Kida-kun."

"Well, we'll see how good of a job Kida-kun is doing…" Shinra put his bag down on the floor next to Mikado's pillow and pulled out a stethoscope.

"Hey now, I've been doing everything the doctor's told me to." Kida put his hands on his hips.

"I'm sure you have, Kida-kun." Shinra helped Mikado pull his shirt off gingerly. "But doctors aren't always right the first time. Things change." Mikado stiffened at the words, wincing when his ribs disagreed with the tensing.

"Have you been taking the pain meds?" Shinra put the stethoscope on his palm for a minute to warm it before placing it over Mikado's heart.

"Not today. I don't want to take too many…" Mikado grimaced as the chest piece of the scope touched a bruise.

"Have you been able to shower since you've been back from the hospital?"

Kida and Mikado both shook their heads. "We haven't taken the bandages off," Kida explained.

"Okay, I'll help you get them off, and then finish checking you over, and then you're going to get a shower. I'll show Kida-kun how to wrap you back up again when you get out. Can't have you risking your stitches getting infected, or suffocating your nurse." Shinra tapped Mikado's forehead playfully.

Together Kida and Shinra got the bandages off Mikado. Kida became progressively queasier as more and more dark bruising was revealed.

"Don't overexert yourself, your ribs aren't healed all the way yet," Shinra warned.

"I won't," Mikado assured them.

"Oh!" Shinra stooped down to fish something out of his bag. "I'll give you the extra bandages I have with me, but you'll probably have to get some more soon…"

"Don't worry about it, Shinra-san. Anri-chan is supposed to come over later with some groceries. I'll have her get some then."

Shinra nodded. "Celty said that Sonohara-chan said that Mikajima-chan came back with you."

"Yeah." Kida nodded. "She's staying with Anri. I was, but it was starting to get crowded, and Mikado needs someone to stay with him anyways." He plucked his cells phone from the computer desk. "I'm going to call her. Hold on…"

"Hello?" Anri answered after a couple rings.

"Anri-chan, it's Kida. Since you're picking up some groceries for us, do you think you could get some extra bandages for Mikado? The poor thing, he's all bruised, I think he needs a woman's touch~!"

"O-oh, well, I'll be over as soon as I can, Kida-kun."

"Thank you so much, Anri-chan! Take your time, I don't want to rush you."

"It's no trouble. I was just leaving, actually. Bye, Kida-kun."

"Bye, Anri-chan." Kida flipped his cell phone closed.

"The slasher? What slasher?"

"You haven't heard? There've been tons of victims in Ikebukuro in the past few months," the girl continued. "A lot of high school girls were attacked, so you all might want to be careful. I'm Erika, by the way."

Haruhi ignored the hand that was offered her and barked, "Kyon! Call that Izaya guy, I want information on this slasher person!"

"Sure, sure." Kyon pulled out his cell phone and dialed Izaya's office number.

"Hello?"

The voice wasn't Izaya's—it was definitely female. Perhaps the girl who had been with him yesterday? "Ah, hello. Is Izaya-san there?"

"No, this is Mikajima Saki, his… business associate. Was there something you needed from Izaya-san?"

"We were wondering if he could tell us anything about the slasher. Do you know about it?"

"Actually, I know a lot about it. I can tell you about as much as Izaya-san, and, well, Izaya-san gave you the name of Ryuugamine Mikado-kun for information about the Headless Rider, right?"

"Yes."

"Ryuugamine-kun also happens to be a good friend of the slasher. And he's out of the hospital now, it's as good a time as any to pay him a visit."

Kyon glanced uneasily at Haruhi. "I wouldn't want to impose on a sick person."

"Kyon! What's that look you're giving me? Let me talk to him!" She jerked the phone out of his hand and put it up to her ear. "Hello? Oh, who is this? …Ryuugamine again? …Out of the hospital? Do you have his address?" Haruhi pulled a small notepad and a pen from her pocket and scribbled something down, then said a quick "Thanks!" and hung up.

"Yo, Koizumi." The group turned around to see Shizuo behind them. "Are you looking for Ryuugamine Mikado?"

"Hello, Heiwajima-san."

"Is that too tight?" Kida asked as he fastened the butterfly clips into the gauze around Mikado's chest. He'd wrapped the bandages once with Shinra, but they'd undone them so Shinra could make sure he knew how to do it on his own.

Mikado shook his head. "Just like when Shinra-sensei does it."

Shinra grinned. "Celty wanted me to tell you to get better." He ruffled Mikado's hair. "You shouldn't be on house arrest much longer. You're healing nicely."

"When will you come visit again?"

"In a few days. I'll call."

There was a sharp knock at the door. Kida looked up curiously and stood to open it.

"Hey, you were that girl in the bunny costume at the train station…" Kida's attention was immediately drawn to the pretty redhead.

"Who are you?" The brunette girl in the front of the group was suddenly closer to him than he wanted her to be. He wondered if people felt like this when he got in their personal space…

"Kida Masaomi…" He blinked. There was another girl, with short purple hair, and two boys. One looked very nonplussed, the other… amused? And… "Shizuo?"

"They want to see Mikado." Shizuo dropped the dying butt of his cigarette.

"He just got done getting a check up." Shinra appeared behind Kida, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Mikado-kun needs to rest right now."

"We don't have time for this! We need to know everything about the Headless Rider! Right now!" She tugged at her hair and then flung her hands out at the air dramatically.

"The Headless Rider?" Shinra's eyes lit up.

Shizuo's hand was suddenly on the doctor's face.

"Shinra-san, I don't mind. I'll just go to bed early tonight…"

"Excuse us," Itsuki chirped as they entered the small apartment.

Shizuo leaned down to growl in Shinra's ear. "Don't say a word about Celty or knowing the Headless Rider or anything. Got that?"

"But that nice girl wanted to know—"

"Keep your mouth shut, Shinra. You think Celty wants you going around telling people all about her?"

Shinra pursed his lips. "Well, I suppose you have a point."

They walked into the main area of the small apartment and sat opposite Mikado on the couch. Haruhi's friends were scattered around the room on the floor, but Haruhi was up and pacing.

"I heard you know the Headless Rider and the slasher! I want you to tell me everything you know!"

Mikado blinked. "I—I wouldn't say I know very much… I have met the Headless Rider, but—"

"I have it on good authority that you can give me information. What's she like?"

"Oh, well, she's very nice, actually. Not especially talkative." Mikado smiled.

"So she can't speak. Makes sense. How does she communicate?"

"She types on her cell phone. She's very elusive, Haruhi-san, and you won't find her unless she wants to be found."

Haruhi pouted. "Well, tell me about the slasher, then. I heard you know him."

There was another knock at the door. Kida rushed to open it.

"Hello, Kida-kun. I brought—oh… I hope I'm not intruding."

"Not at all, Anri-chan! We were just having a chat with this lovely lady and her friends. They've come to Ikebukuro to learn about the Headless Rider and the slasher."

Anri's eyes widened. "The slasher?"

"Yes, we have it on good authority that Ryuugamine-kun can give us information on the slasher." Itsuki smiled at the girl.

Anri walked in slowly and set the grocery bags on the counter. She looked over her shoulder at the people staring at her.

"So the slasher," Haruhi started, "is he a violent person?"

"No! No, no, not at all. The slasher is quiet a nice person really…" Mikado scratched the back of his neck.

"So he's never threatened to slash you?"

"No."

"Is he an alien?" She looked at him hopefully.

"No, Suzumiya-san."

"Esper? Cyborg? Magical?"

"I guess magical is one way to describe it… And there are some epser-like abilities that come with it… I guess."

"What kind of abilities?"

"I don't really know how to explain it, Suzumiya-san…" At this point Kida had maneuvered himself to sit on the couch with Mikado's legs in his lap, and Sonohara was putting away the last roll of bandages in the cabinet. She kept glancing back at him anxiously.

"Will you introduce us to him?"

"Ryuugamine-kun, I just remembered…" Anri started towards the door, hurriedly tugging on her shoes. "Saki-chan asked me to bring her something at Orihara-san's office. I have to go. I'll call you tomorrow. Bye, Kida-kun, Shinra-san, Heiwajima-san." She bowed quickly and left.

"What's wrong with her?" Haruhi asked, annoyed that she'd been interrupted.

"Ah… Sonohara-san doesn't like talking about the slasher," Mikado said quickly. "Her parents were killed by the slasher…"

"Oh. So anyway, can you introduce me?"

Mikado glanced at Kida. "N-no, I don't think that would be a good idea, Haruhi-san. The slasher doesn't want to be known by everyone any more than the Headless Rider does."

"When you say the slasher is a nice person, what do you mean? He's a slasher, doesn't it worry you to hang around someone who goes around stabbing people?"

"Well, no… There are extenuating circumstances."

"What kind of extenuating circumstances?"

"The sword the slasher uses is a magical sword," Kida cut in. "Called Saika."

"Magical! What's it do, how does it work?"

"I—I don't know much about it, Haruhi-san," Mikado said. "But I know the slasher doesn't… mean to do it."

Shizuo elbowed Shinra, nodding at the door and then at Mikado. Shinra stood. "Well, I think that's as much as my patient can take for one day. I'm sorry, Mikado-kun, doctor's orders! Out, out, everyone, except Kida-kun, of course. I'll see you in a few days, Mikado-kun, so stay healthy and don't overexert yourself! Kida-kun, keep an eye on him!"

Mikado blinked after them. "That was very strange."

"Yes. Poor Anri-chan~! You'll have to call her and make her feel better, ne, Mi~ka~do?"

"Masaomi," Mikado said exasperatedly. "I told you it's not like that."

"And until you tell me why I'll keep making jokes~!"

"I keep trying to tell you, but I keep getting interrupted!" Mikado smiled.

"Tell me now, then!" Kida sat back down and crossed his arms on the edge of the couch cushion Mikado sat on. He laid he head on his arms and waited for Mikado to say what he'd been trying to.

"Masaomi, I—"

Kida's phone rang loudly. "Linda, Linda~! Linda, Linda, Linda~!"

Kida fished the phone out of his pocket. Saki's name flashed on the display. He clicked ignore and tossed the phone to the foot of the couch.

Mikado sighed, letting himself sink into the cushions. His side smarted.

"Mikado…?" Kida asked, seeing the wince.

"I'm fine. I think I moved funny. Hurts a little."

"Oh—is it really painful? Should I call Shinra-san?"

"Don't be silly, Masaomi, it's really not that bad."

"I don't believe you~! Where's my phone, I threw it somewhere, there it is—"

"Oh, Masaomi, don't, I don't want Shinra-san to have to come all the way back here to check on me. I'm sure I'll be fine if I stop moving around so much."

Kida looked at him seriously. "You better not be lying to me, Mikado." He tapped his friend's nose. "You may be okay with putting your health at risk, but I'm not."

Mikado smiled. "I'm fine. Don't worry so much."

"I'm your nurse! I'm supposed to worry about you."

Mikado rolled his eyes.

"Do you want a pain pill?" Kida got up and snatched the prescription bottle from next to the computer.

"Not really, but if it'll make you feel better." Mikado held out his hand for the pill. Kida put the pill in his hand and replaced the pill bottle before going to get a water bottle.

Mikado downed the pill and water.

"Have sweet dreams about Anri-chan!" Kida cooed as Mikado closed his eyes.