A/N: Hi! This is CrazyBlueFlamingo and CinderellaAtTheball.
1. We weren't planning on posting a chapter two, but our randomness caught up with us in math class.
2. We bet some of you are just realizing that Edward was Harry Potter for half of it.
3. We bet you're checking right now. We are laughing at you.
Bella went to see the sexy werewolf today.
That's Jacob.
Lucky her.
--
"Harry!"
"Oh, Harry! Where have you been!? Here."
--
Some freaks just ran up to me and hugged me.
And they gave me...
(dramatic pause)
A stick.
--
What the hell am I supposed to do with a stick!?
I'm going to wave it around
Ooh, it makes sparks.
--
I was walking through this weird castley thingy, and I found another werewolf!
He call's himself Remus.
--
"Remus, are you part of Jacob's clan!? Are you a werewolf?"
"Um...yes?"
"Are you hairy?!"
"No..."
"Shun!"
--
I was bored, so I got out of bed.
I ended up in this room.
It is large.
--
Look.
A mirror.
I see...myself.
And I have hair!
And so does Bella! Yipee!
--
"I challenge you to a duel!"
"Who the hell are you?"
"Got milk?"
"What the fuck?"
--
A dude without a nose is talking to me.
Oh wait, it appears he has theses weird slits.
"I can hear you."
"No you can't"
--
The bald dude has a stick too.
He pointed it at me.
I believe that now is the time for one of Carlisle's random appearances.
--
"I am the dark lord! Fear me Harry Potter!"
"I'm not Harry Potter!"
--
'The dark lord' has me cornered.
To bad I'm in this ugly form.
If not, I could use my sexiness.
--
I have just discovered that in this form...
(dramatic pause)
I am HAIRY!
Yay!
--
"Edward, I will now turn you back!"
POOF
"Oh, no, I'm not hairy anymore!"
"Of course, I changed you back!"
"I mean HAIRY! Like fur...like, Jacob!"
"Edward, you're really creeping me out with the whole promiscuously bisexual thing."
--
Bella has returned.
She smells like Jacob.
That is sexy.
--
I caught Bella shaving her legs.
If she shaves, then does Esme?
That would mean she lied to me.
--
I went shopping with Bella today.
What is 'intimate apparel'?
It sounds so important.
--
I wonder Jacob has 'intimate apparel'?
Hmmm...
We went to Victoria's Secret, and this 'intimate apparel' doesn't...cover much.
I'll bet Jacob looks real sexy in his 'intimate apparel'
It shows off his hairiness, I'll bet.
Wait.
"Bella, try to imitate Jacob while I imagine that you're him in his 'intimate apparel'!"
Ow.
She slapped me.
And called me a pervert.
I'm not a pervert! I'm just promiscuously bisexual!
--
Bella and I went to target.
Target has 'Hannah Montana' wigs.
Who is 'Hannah Montana'?
--
That was werid.
I just made air quotes.
--
I have decided to buy one of those wigs for Jacob.
It is hairy, and so is he.
"Edward, what are you buying?"
"A wig."
"For who?"
"Bella, she loves Hannah Montana!"
"No I don't!!"
SLAP
"Fine! It's for Jacob!"
"What?! Why?!"
"I'm promiscuously bisexual!"
--
I went to a Hannah Montana concert.
It's stupid.
The guitarest is totally hairy, yet the hairless singer gets all the attention.
I hate the media
--
Jasper and Emmett are out of the dog house.
I still wonder about Jacob's dog house.
--
"Edward, I will kill you for putting me in the dog house!"
"No, Jasper! If you were hairy, I would except your dirty thoughts about me. But you are not!"
"Yo, yo, yo! Just go wit da flow!"
"Shut up, Bella. You can't rap."
"At least I'm not hairless!"
--
Damn.
She had a point.
I must go apologize.
--
Jasper has started using some sort of hair growth formula.
He wants me to notice him.
That's stupid.
--
