The New Adventures of Danny Phantom
A Danny Phantom Fanfic by Quill N. Inque
I do not own Danny Phantom
Chapter 2: Bloody Pirates!
Danny followed his teacher into the classroom that had become so familiar. Trying to ignore the fascinated stares of his fellow pupils, the Fenton boy sat down heavily at his desk.
Danny reached into his backpack and pulled out last night's homework before setting it down on his desk. His pencil began to scratch out notes as Lancer began to speak. But just as he tried to concentrate on his schoolwork, Danny felt a tapping on his shoulder. He looked up from his notes, praying it wasn't who he thought.
Please don't be Paulina, please don't be Paulina, please, PLEASE don't be Paulina, he prayed silently. Danny turned his head around slightly and was confronted by-
Paulina.
Danny turned around quickly and glanced knowingly at Tucker, who silently mimed vomiting. Sam, however, had red murder in her eyes as she glared at her arch rival. Tuck grinned and made a throat-cutting motion with his hand, and Danny agreed. Whoever said "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" obviously had Sam in mind, he thought.
He stiffened suddenly as a frosty breath of air exited his mouth without warning. "Not now," Danny groaned as he put his pencil aside.
"Mr. Fenton, is there a problem?"
"Yeah, I think there's a ghost nearby."
Lancer gestured toward the door. "Then by all means," he said.
As Danny transformed into his ghostly alter-ego, he nudged Sam.
"Will you let me look at your notes later?"
She smiled. "Sure."
Danny grinned back as he sped toward the door-
Right before it was blown off its hinges.
The force of the blast threw him back into the rows of desks, and several students screamed.
"That is definitely not the Box Ghost," Danny muttered as he sized up his opponent.
The ghost in question shouldered the massive shotgun-like weapon, its muzzle still smoking. He looked for all the world like something out of a "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie. His skin was pale, his hair the color of seaweed, and he wore a ragged frock coat over his shoulders. His tattered breeches were tucked into a pair of rubber sea boots, which, like everything else, seemed worse for wear. On his head, the specter wore a wide-brimmed hat with a skeletal feather in it, and he was missing an eye. A long scar, pocked with stitch marks, ran diagonally across the ghost's face, and by his side he carried a short, double-edged sword with a basket hilt, its broadly curved blade ending in a wickedly glittering point. In a bandoleer across his chest, the ghost carried several flintlock pistols of varying sizes.
All in all, quite a fearsome-looking adversary.
"WHICH ONE O' YE MILK SLOPPIN' BRATS BE THE ONE CALLED DANNY PHANTOM?" the ghost roared as he drew his sword with a flourish. "COME OUT AND FIGHT, LEST YE BE A COWARD!"
Danny rose from the rubble that had been his desk. "You rang?"
The ghost pirate peered at him curiously through his good eye. " Ye're th' ghost boy?"
"Who wants to know?"
Danny's foe shrugged. "Hm. Thought ye'd be taller."
"Hey!" Danny scowled as he sized up this new ghost. He doesn't seem…evil, I guess. Otherwise he would've attacked by now. "Who are you?"
" 'Tis none o' yer concern, boy, but ye may call me the Captain," the specter said amiably. "Me hearties back in th' Ghost Zone talk of yer skill in battle, and I've bin itchin' for a good brawl lately. So I've come here t'challenge ye, t'see if the rumors be true."
"So what you're saying is that you're going to try to kill me just for kicks?"
The Captain shook his head vigorously. "Nay, nay, 'tis nothin' personal! An' I never said anythin' 'bout tryin' to kill ye. Nay, lad, we'll settle this the way all pirates do!"
"How's that?" Danny couldn't help being curious.
The other ghost cackled. "With a drinkin' contest, o' course! Any man worth 'is sea salt can 'old 'is liquor! Last one standin' wins, and no vomiting allowed!"
Danny pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't believe this," he muttered as he motioned to Sam and Tucker.
The hero looked at his friends desperately. "What do we do? I'm still a minor! But if I don't go through with this, he might hurt somebody!"
Tucker glanced back at the Captain and shrugged. "Why don't you just use soda? He probably won't notice the difference."
Sam stared at him. "Wow, Tucker, you actually had a good idea for once."
Tucker started to retort, but the Captain's impatient voice cut him off. "I'm WAITIN', ghost lad!"
As Sam and Tucker left in a hurry, Danny turned to him. "Listen, my friends are going to pick up some, uh, VERY special rum for our contest."
The ghost pirate shuddered visibly with glee as he moved two desks together.
Danny's friends completed their errand in record time, staggering back in the classroom under the weight of several dozen twelve-packs of Coke. The Captain's face split in a feral grin as he sat down on opposite Danny.
"Ye may as well give hope, lad. No man, livin' or dead, ever drank me under th'table!"
The ghost boy smirked back as he grabbed an aluminum can. "Well, you know what they say…there's a first time for everything."
Much later…
In the now-empty classroom, Danny's face twisted in revulsion as he forced himself to down another beverage, adding the crushed container to the small mountain of cans in front of him. The Captain, it seemed, wasn't even trying; he'd emptied twice as many, and was still going strong.
The Captain smiled. "Feelin' a little green 'round the gills, eh?" the ghost said as he drained another can in a single swallow.
Tucker grinned wickedly. "Any minute now…"
As if on cue, the ghost stiffened in his chair, clapping a mottled hand to his belly. "What in the…"
That was as far as he got before the pirate passed out completely.
Danny stared as the old swashbuckler slumped over the table. "What was that?"
Tucker snickered. "Let's just say that I added a little extra 'something' in the Captains first helping. When Sam and I went by your house to pick up the soda, I swiped something from your parent's lab when they weren't looking."
Danny fought to restrain his grin as he sucked the unconscious ghost into his Fenton Thermos. "What was it?"
"An experimental tranquilizer made especially for ghosts; I guess your folks want to knock them out so they can dissect them or something. All you had to do was wait for it to kick in."
"That's cheating, Tuck," the Halfling said with a frown. "What if he finds out? He might not be so amicable next time."
His friend smirked. "Oh, come on. You know you'd have lost if it wasn't for me."
Danny abruptly bolted out of his chair. "I've GOT to use the restroom."
Sam smiled as she watched him go. "I'm not surprised."
Two hours and ten trips to the toilet later, Danny breathed a sigh of relief as the final bell rang. He rushed out into the schoolyard, where his girlfriend was waiting for him.
Danny frowned. "Where's Tuck?"
She grinned. "Last I heard, he was in the computer lab, drooling over all the new equipment."
The Halfling smiled. "Well, that means we have some time to ourselves."
Sam arched an eyebrow as the corners of her mouth turned up. "I was wondering when you'd notice that," she said. "We hardly ever get any privacy nowadays."
Danny sighed as he pulled her close. "Wanna head over to the Nasty Burger? My treat."
"I'm game."
As the young couple began to head down the sidewalk, a gruff voice, loaded with menace and intense personal dislike, stopped them in their tracks.
"Mr. Fenton, Ms. Manson, we'd like a word with you."
Whirling around, Danny found himself confronted by Agents O and K of the Guys and White.
