A/N: Thank you again to all those who gave me their great advice in the writing of this story. Thank you L&S for your editing and handholding and butt-kicking and encouragement.
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters. They belong to the wonderful J.E.
Warning: Language and Spoilers - All 13
Learning about love - Chapter 2
Ranger's POV
I walked out of the hospital and into the parking lot squinting against the bright sun. I reached into the pocket of my jacket and put on my sunglasses. With Steph being released today there were a few things I wanted to see to before coming back and taking her home.
I wasn't all together surprised to find Morelli leaning against the BMW I'd had Tank drop off for me earlier.
Morelli and I had always managed to avoid a stand off for Stephanie's sake, but I was pretty sure all bets were off now. I wasn't worried about going around with him, but I'd always hoped it wouldn't come to this. He's a good guy, an honorable cop with a thankless job. Plus I owed him for stopping me from killing Tank the night Steph was in surgery. I heard his words again. "If she dies, you can kill him. I'll help you dump the body." When I didn't react, he had continued, his voice finally getting through. "Steph wouldn't want this." The sound of her name seemed to snap me out of it and clear the red haze that had been clouding my vision at the time. And he'd been right. Steph wouldn't have wanted it.
I didn't have any bad feelings toward Morelli, and if truth be told, I kind of figured the guy was just decent enough he deserved to be happy. Unfortunately for him, he was going to have to figure out how to be happy without Stephanie.
I took off my sunglasses and walked up to him; close enough to let him know I was ready for whatever he might have in mind, but not close enough to invade his space. He straightened and met my eye.
We stood, eyes locked for a minute, neither of us talking. Finally he gave a small shake of his head. "I'm not here to fight you. Not that I haven't thought about smashing your face in a couple of times over the last week. Over the last couple of years off and on, for that matter. Just doesn't seem to be much point in it now, other than to make me feel better."
I didn't say anything. I just nodded my head in acknowledgement of his words.
"Christ, you're a real basket case, you know that?" The frustration was evident in Morelli's voice.
"Yeah, I've heard that before." That got a small smile out of him. Morelli had a pretty good cop face. It's almost impossible to get a read on him if he doesn't want you to, but for a moment I could read the naked misery in his eyes and then it was gone.
"I'm not going to ask if you'll protect her. Hell, you've been protecting her pretty much since the day you met her." Again I just nodded and, again, Morelli shook his head. He looked down at his feet for a few seconds and then looked back up at me. His eyes were intense.
"Do you love her?" His question surprised me more than it should have.
Even though I'd already admitted to myself how I felt about Stephanie, I didn't feel it necessary to spill my guts out to Morelli no matter how much I respected him or how bad I felt for him and the situation he was in. I gave him the only answer I could.
"In my own way."
"What the fuck does that mean?" Morelli's outburst caused two nurses crossing the parking lot to look our way.
"It means I'm keeping her, and that's all you need to know." He just glared at me for a second. Finally he looked away, and I could see he was struggling to calm himself down. When he turned back to me he was watching my face intently.
"You killed for her." I knew he wasn't asking. We both knew what had happened with Abruzzi. I didn't respond. I just waited for him to continue.
"You nearly died for her when Scrog was holding her and your daughter." I could tell he was frustrated with my silence but not all together surprised by it.
When he spoke again his voice was intense. "You would have done it for your daughter alone."
"Yes." I wasn't sure where he was going, but I figured he'd take his time getting there. That was fine by me. The more he and I got straightened out now the fewer problems Steph would have with him later. Eventually they'd need to talk, and I didn't want it to be any harder on her than it had to be.
"You would have done it for Steph alone." It wasn't a question, and we both knew it.
I looked at him and said, "You would have done the same thing for her."
Again a small smile hovered around Morelli's mouth. "Maybe. Yeah, I guess I would have, but trust me I would have been looking for a better way."
"There was no other way."
"Not for you. You go walking in there pulling off some superhero shit. How the hell is a man supposed to compete with that?" And now Morelli's voice sounded resigned.
"I'm pretty sure superheroes don't bleed all over the carpet and spend a couple nights in the hospital." That got a grin out of Morelli, but he sobered quickly. There really wasn't anything amusing about the situation we found ourselves in. Finally I decided to give him something back.
"She loves you." I said.
Morelli let out a deep sigh. "I know it. I know. But I saw her the night you were shot when they were bringing you out of her apartment. I'd never seen her like that. She was hysterical. I told her the same thing when I was driving her to the hospital to wait for word about your condition. I've seen her go through a lot of fucked up situations, but I've never seen her that hysterical. I knew then and there, even as I held her, that I'd already lost her. I didn't want to believe it, but I knew." I could tell that Morelli was uncomfortable, and I knew he didn't like spilling his guts any more than I did. I wasn't sure why he was telling me all this, but I figured he had his reasons, so I waited for him to finish.
"I care about her, so I'm going to ask you again. Do you love her?"
I decided it was time to put and end to this conversation. I had things to do before I could come back to pick up Steph, and I realized Morelli wasn't going anywhere until he was satisfied.
"Yes." There was no reaction to my answer.
"Have you told her?" I nodded. I couldn't be sure if she remembered me telling her or not, but in my opinion it didn't matter one way or the other.
"Okay." Morelli started to turn away.
"We didn't tell her you were there to hear what she said. She's wondering why you haven't called or stopped by." Steph hadn't said much about it, but I knew she was upset and confused. I really had no idea how to tell her that Morelli had been in the room when she'd said that she was in love with me. I knew once she found out she'd feel guilty, and I figured she'd been through enough for the moment.
"I couldn't." Morelli answered. "I couldn't stay there, and I haven't been able to make myself go back to see her." I watched as he looked toward the hospital entrance and struggled with himself.
"I'm still not ready, so I'll call her room and tell her what I heard and that I'm happy for her. I'll say I'm going on assignment for a few weeks and that I won't be around. She won't believe me, but I don't think she'll push it. I could use a vacation. Maybe I'll be ready to see her when I get back."
As Morelli turned to leave I told him the only other thing I could. "I'll take care of her."
His response caught me off guard. "I know you will, because if you don't, I'll come looking for you with my gun in my hand, and I'll be leaving my badge at home." The intensity in his eyes as he looked at me told me what I already knew. Morelli was dead serious.
"Understood."
"Stephanie and I have been a part of each other's lives since she was six years old. Did you know that?" Of course I knew, I thought. I knew everything about Steph's past, and Burg gossip didn't carry an expiration date. If you wanted information bad enough you could still find someone who knew the story of how poor Mrs. Plum had to save her daughter Stephanie from that Morelli boy who took her into his father's garage to play choo-choo when she was just six years old.
Before I could answer Morelli went on. "Okay. That was a dumb question. So I'll just get to the point. I'm trying to come to terms with this, and eventually I'd like to think I might be able to get past it and move on. But we've been friends, or something like it, damn near all our lives, and I'm not going to walk away from that easily. Is that going to be a problem for you?"
I looked at Morelli closely and thought about all the times I'd stolen kisses from Steph when he wasn't around, the times I'd slept with her even when nothing had happened. Then I thought about all the nights she'd slept in his bed.
I got right to the point as well. "Can I trust you with her?"
For the first time Morelli's face lit up with a genuine smile. "Nope. Not for a second." He turned and straddled the Duc that was parked next to the BMW, started it up and rode away.
A/N: Please review one way or the other and let me know if you want me to continue the story.
