On The Beat: A Night In The Life Of Officer Wendy Corduroy

Part 2: Chasing Future Ghosts

'October 18, 2016: I've been at the academy for a little under a month and I have to say, it's tougher than I thought it would be. When I applied for this job, Chief Blubs warned me that it wouldn't be easy and that the men I encountered would treat me differently, but I didn't really think it'd be this bad. They talk about me when I'm standing right there. I know that they know I can hear them. I usually just try and let it roll off my back, but I don't know how much more I can take. I even had this 'Manning' guy walk straight up to me after barely passing an exam tell me that I should just quit. I got so angry that I cried. I'm so fucking mad at myself for that. I'm not some weak, stereotypical girl who cries the first time that things get tough. I'm a fuckin' Corduroy! Yet, I fucking cried my eyes out in front of my class. I-I don't know if I wanna even go to class tomorrow, because I know they're just gonna keep on talking about me. I try to be one of the guys and fit in, but it feels like they're just tolerating me because our instructors tell them that they have to. I get it. I'm an outsider. Most all of these guys have served in the armed forces and have seen things I never will. To them, I'm just some girl who wants to play dress up as a police officer. That couldn't be further from the truth! I wanna protect the town that I grew up in. I almost died trying to save my friends and family from Bill, so I'm more than willing to do the same for anyone who is in trouble. I just don't know. Maybe I did make the wrong choice. I wish I could talk to my dad about this, but they moved upstate to work on my uncle's lumber yard. I know dad said it was because it was too good of an opportunity to pass up, but I know the real reason. Ever since I told him I signed up and we had that big fight, things just haven't been the same. I think he might have even blocked my number. He still hasn't gotten over losing mom and I don't think he ever will. I guess that I just remind him of her too much and he doesn't want anything bad to happen to me, but if it's gonna happen, then it's gonna happen. Mom's death was just one of those things that you can't do anything about. It was a freak medical thing. He needs to stop blaming himself for something he couldn't have done anything about. Until that happens, he's never going to accept the fact that I'm a grown woman and can do what I want. Well, that's enough self-pity for tonight.'

Wendy put her pen down and grabbed her folding knife from the edge of her desk. Flipping it open, the three inch blade glimmered in the light of the dorm room. Rolling up her sleeve, she let out a deep sigh and placed it to her alabaster skin. The cuts she had been making since middle school were never deep and usually didn't leave a scar, but still she felt as if it helped her deal with her emotions. Clenching her teeth, she pulled the metal blade across her forearm and felt the now familiar pinch as it breached her skin. The warm feeling of blood escaping the wound and bathing her arm was cathartic in a way and she opened her eyes expecting to see something little more than a scratch. Instead, she caught sight of a deep wound that wouldn't stop bleeding. "FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" she exclaimed to herself as she rushed off to the bathroom, a trail of crimson drops being left behind on the well-worn grey tile floor. Luckily, thanks to the apocalypse survival training her father had put her through she knew how to deal with such a wound. Her biggest concern on this night would not be how to treat the self-inflicted injury, but how to explain it to her instructor the next morning. A few minutes later, she had stopped the bleeding and sealed up the cut with some ultra-glue she had lying around the dorm room. Wendy returned to her room and lay down on the rock hard mattress as her mind continued to run wild. She knew that sleep was important, but it had been in short supply as of late while she battled her demons. Once again, she was in a fight against her thoughts as she questioned her decisions on a rainy Oregon night.

Author's Note: I may write a few more chapters of this, but they'll be more like a collection of one-shots from Wendy's time as an officer. It's kinda fun and I feel it gives a deeper look into Wendy's mess of a life before the tragic losses of Mabel and Pacifica.

My Playlist For This Chapter:

Badflower – "Ghost"

Forever Still – "Scars"

Within Temptation – "Stand My Ground"

Diamante – "Fight Like A Girl (F.L.A.G.)"

The Official Shooting Star Falls AU Reading Order:

Underage Discoveries On A Reckless Night: A Shooting Star Falls Prequel

A Shooting Star Falls

Echoes Of A Nearby Future: A Shooting Star Falls Story

Scarred Summer: A Shooting Star Falls Story

The Dark Days of Candy Chiu: A Shooting Star Falls Story

Forever Memories: A Shooting Star Falls Story

Stable Times Or A Wild Ride?: A Shooting Star Falls Story

Grenda's Confession: A Shooting Star Falls Story

Birthday Weirdness In The Rose City: A Shooting Star Falls Story

The Gift Of Forever: A Shooting Star Falls Story

Wendy & Dipper Vs The Future: A Shooting Star Falls Story

Life In Transit: A Shooting Star Falls Story

Pause The Moment: A Shooting Star Falls Story

Tales Of The Flame & The Axe: A Shooting Star Falls Story