Author's Note: I forgot to give special thanks to my friend, Anime. She's the one who helped me with the part where Envy gives Ed the glass of milk. Now, here's chapter two, and this time, it's longer and funnier!

Chapter Two

Why Gluttony and Water Don't Mix

"I told you you'll sink like a rock if you swim in deep water!" scolded Winry. "Why do you never listen to me!?!" Hawkeye had just gotten Ed back on the ship when Winry walked by. When she was told what happened, she was more furious than an angry mother dragon whose young was being threatened. Ed kept on mumbling, "I know, I know," while Al was watching nearby. Soon, the ship reached the shore. Ed made sure that the water wasn't too deep before jumping out of the ship again.

"Land! Oh, beautiful land!" Ed began kissing the white sand. Meanwhile, Al reached into his armor and pulled out a guide book on Paradise Island. He was flipping through it until he found something interesting.

"Hey, Ed," said Al. "it says here that there's a type of fish that lives in the waters of Paradise Island called parrotfish."

"So?" asked Ed, who had at that time finished kissing the sand. "What's so important about them?"

"Well, it says here that their droppings are white and sometimes wash up on shore. In other words, that white sand you were kissing a moment ago might've been parrotfish droppings." Ed stood in silence before yelling, "EWWW! GROSS!" and started spitting and gagging. He jumped into the water (the shallow part), sucked in some of it, and gurgled. At that moment Roy walked by.

"Well, Fullmetal," said Roy. "I always knew you liked doing crazy stunts, but never have I imagined you kissing fish poop."

"SHUT UP!" Ed screamed while glaring at Roy.

"Uh, maybe we should head toward our hotel," said Al, not wanting a fight to get started.

Each hotel room held two people, both of them the same sex (do I really need to explain why?), except for the married couples. Ed and Al entered their room. The room held two separate beds, both of them the same size. Al looked at the beds.

"Brother, where am I going to sleep?" he asked, seeing as both of the beds were too small for him.

"This is going to be a problem," said Ed, scratching the back of his head.

When Wrath and Envy entered their room, Wrath placed his suitcase on the floor and started jumping on one of the beds. Envy started unpacking his suitcase. As Wrath was happily jumping on his bed, he noticed a remote control with a big, red button lying near the bed. He picked it up and, curious as he was, pressed the button. The mattress of the bed snapped shut, trapping the homunculus inside.

"AAAUUGGH! LET ME OUT OF HERE! ENVY!" screamed Wrath at the top of his lungs. Envy ignored him and continued unpacking. After ten minutes, Envy, tired of hearing Wrath's screams for help, picked up the remote and pressed the button. The mattress snapped open and Wrath fell onto the floor, breathing heavily.

"Why didn't you help me earlier?" asked Wrath.

"Because I didn't feel like it," answered Envy.

"Sloth, how come you're not sharing a room with Hohenheim?" asked Lust. "You know they allow married couples to sleep together." She and Sloth were sharing a room together.

"Because Dante got to him first," answered Sloth somberly. Meanwhile, in another room, Dante was happily flirting with Hohenheim.

"Oh, look, darling, they gave us a double bed! Brings back memories, doesn't it?" Hohenheim sighed. I wish Trisha was here. Hohenheim thought sadly.

"Hey Greed, where's Lust?" asked Gluttony. He was sharing a room with Greed.

"This hotel has a strict policy," answered Greed. "They only allow two people of the opposite sex to share a room if there're married or related to each other." Greed looked at the beds. "That bed is mine, got it, fat boy?"

"Okay!" said Gluttony cheerfully, unaware that Greed had just insulted him. He went to his own bed and ate it.

"THAT BED WAS MEANT FOR SLEEPING, NOT FOR EATING, YOU IDIOT!" screamed Greed.

When everyone got unpacked, they all went to the beach. Ed decided to go surfing, even though there weren't any waves at that time. All of the women and teenage girls lay in the sun while Wrath made friends with Elicia and Nina and was building sand castles with them. Armstrong took the job of lifeguard (although he was more focused on his muscles than on the people in the water) and Hughes was once again showing everyone his photos of Elicia.

"Wanna see my daughter? Wanna see my daughter? Wanna my daughter?"

"I am your daughter!" said Elicia.

"Whoops! Sorry, sweetie! Wanna see my daughter? Wanna my daughter?" Chomp. "Hey, gimme back my photo, you stupid shark!" Hughes started beating the crap out of the shark. Meanwhile, Envy was lazily drifting in the water when Gluttony swan over.

"Hey, Envy! Have you ever burped underwater before?" Envy cocked his head.

"No, I don't think I have."

"Okay, watch!" Gluttony took a deep breath, put his face in the water, and burped. His burp created a giant wave. On that wave, was Ed, riding on his surf board and shouting, "Cowabunga!" The wave crashed into Envy and a starfish got stuck on his face. He pulled off the starfish when Gluttony swam over again.

"Hey, Envy! Have you ever farted underwater before?" At this, Envy hightailed out of the water. Later that day, everyone got into a Jacuzzi.

"I didn't even know this place had a Jacuzzi!" said Al. "It didn't say anything about it in the guide!" Everyone relaxed happily, until Gluttony stood up. The bubbles stopped. Everyone sat in silence, now realizing the horrifying truth of why the guide book didn't say anything about a Jacuzzi. Everyone jumped out of the "Jacuzzi" and ran screaming back to their rooms. When he reached his room, Envy quickly jumped into the shower, Wrath behind him.

"Hey! I was here first! Get out of here!"

"But think of the little people!"

"I don't give a flying shit about the little people!" Ed and Al were sharing the same shower.

"Can't…breath," said Ed, whose face was pressed against the glass.

"It's not my fault they made the shower too small!" (Note: All of the characters are still wearing their swim wear.)

Author's Note: While I was typing this chapter, I heard a noise that sounded like a gunshot. I went to my dad and asked, "Who killed who?" and he replied, "That was the thunder." Scary. The "burping underwater and causing a big wave" part was from "Camp Lazlo." The "Jacuzzi" part was from "The Lion King 1 ½." Special thanks to my friend, Anime. Chapter three is coming soon!