Disclaimer: DOPOTC! Ok, here is the first official chapter of Car Trouble in Port Royal II! I know, you love me… and It's ok, I understand, I love me too!
Chapter One: Setting Things in Motion.
It had been two days since I had decided to stay in Port Royal instead of returning to my own time in 2007. I was sitting by my car which had become the official hiding spot for Jack and I as we waited for things to settle down from our last fiasco. I was singing loudly as I played with my 21 questions that I found in my glove box.
"HEY JUDE, DON'T MAKE IT BAD! TAKE A SAD SONG AND MAKE IT BETTER! REMEMBER TO LET HER INTO YOUR HEART-" It probably didn't help my tone since I was wearing headphones. I noticed Jack look up at me and get a very squeamish look on his face. "Now, now Jack, my singing isn't that bad!" I said rather loudly.
"Aye, tis worse!" he retaliated. I looked at him up and down. Taking in every color and worn patch of clothing.
"When I go back to 2007 I'm taking your clothes, do you know how cool I will be on Halloween? I'll have the best Jack Sparrow costume!" I said removing my headphones letting the Beatles fade into the back ground.
"Lass, the only thing I understood out of that was taking my clothes, and all I have to say is: It's about bloody time!" he exclaimed beginning to remove his clothes.
"Tut-Tut-Tut mister! I may not be a virgin but I have morals, and even a sexy stud pirate like you can't tempt me." truth be know is that he could, and if he removed anything else I was totally on the band wagon! There it went, his pink and white sash thrown to the side. IT'S ON!
"Well, on the other hand, I'm sure you will take me on a third date sooner or later." I said reaching over and yanking him by the hair to me. There was a slight cough from behind us, and Jack got a bemused look on his face as mine contorted into a look of annoyance. "Oh god Will this better be damn important." I said huffily.
"Oi lass, let's just keep going and forget he's there." Jack offered making Will seem a bit uncomfortable.
"Thought you might want more food, and to know that today there is a ceremony for Commodore Norrington. I had to make a brand new cutlass for him just for this occasion." William explained placing a cloth sack down next to my car.
"Aye." I said squinting my eye and making a hook with my finger. A now favorite pose of mine, "Tis probably to lure us out of hiding! They be knowin' we can't resist a pow-wow." I said with my best fake pirate voice. Both men stared blankly at me for a moment.
"Well… They won't be getting us that easily!" Jack said smiling.
"Actually, they will." I corrected scratching my finger. He gave me a quizzical look but I continued before he even had the chance to question me.
"We need things to get into motion. So I have a plan. It's simple. Will, you walk around in town the whole day, go out for a bite, or you know, take in a show. Jack you go hang out with the two stooges on the Interceptor the whole time. And I will make this whole train roll smoothly along. I mean, I screwed it up, it's time I fixed it!" Both men still gave me the same blank stares. Sighing I stood up brushing myself off.
"Liss, have you been getting too much sun?" William asked.
"Ah, good Sir William, what a diplomatic way of asking me if I fell out of the nut tree this morning. But alas, no, I haven't. Future, remember?" I asked pointing to myself. Both nodded in understanding and began following me out of the dense woods.
I looked to my left, all clear, I looked to my right, all clear, I looked up, all clear. Ok, I let my pants drop and began the tree balancing act to take a piss. I didn't want to leave the woods without going. I had no idea when the next opportunity would arise. I knew where I was going, and in the movie it didn't seem like they had proper facilities.
"Hurry up lass! T'isnt that difficult is it?" Jack bellowed to me.
"I'm going to cut off your dick so you can squat the rest of your life too if you don't shut the hell up!" I heard Jack scoff and William cough at my vulgar language. I also heard William say something along the lines of, 'Jack, you are rubbing off on her' or it could have been 'Jack stop rubbing one off over there'. I doubt Will would say anything like that. I stood up zipping my pants and avoiding my puddle to reach the two once more.
"Oh, I forgot something!" I exclaimed holding up a finger in thought.
"Lass, tis more than we be needin' to know." Jack said looking disgusted.
"No, no, not that! I did that twice this morning in your hat!" I said pointing to said hat in question. "I need your help Will, do you think you could follow me?" I asked grabbing his arm and yanking him out of earshot of Jack, who was now removing his hat and sniffing it a bit frightened. Pulling his head close to mine I began to whisper.
"Listen, today Jack and I will be in your shop, I will be petting Betsy the mule and Jack will be trying to get shackles off. You need to fight him. I'm serious, forget your friendship, forget that I'm there, fight him until Norrington arrives." I finished with my hushed tones. He quirked an eyebrow at me.
"Liss, I'm not sure I can do that." William replied. I looked at him pleadingly with my eyes and reached up grabbing the nape of his neck and pulling his head down to give him a long passionate kiss. "But I will see what I can do." he finished a little dazed.
"Thought so!" I cooed sweetly as we walked back to Jack.
"I saw that." Jack seethed. I rolled my eyes.
"You didn't see squat." I replied patting him on the shoulder.
I was waiting in the shadows near the fort to wait for a few guards to pass so I could sneak up to the top and push Elizabeth off of the fort. Sounds cruel I know but It had to be done. As one of the guards passed I reached out and grabbed him hitting him on the head with a rock. Being a med school student I knew where to hit him so he didn't get brain damage or die… I'm not saying it wouldn't hurt in the morning.
Stripping him of his clothes was a bit creepy for me, but leaving him in his knickers was funny. Do guys wear knickers? Well then, tight man underpants. Pulling on his outfit and tying my hair back was fun. I was getting excited that no one would recognize me. I began walking out of the shadows and began my trek up to the top of the fort to find the Commodore and Elizabeth.
Once up at the top I saw the two people I was looking for in position. And oddly enough they were having the same uncomfortable conversation they had in the movie. Everything was like the movie. I covered my face and stalked over to the side of the fort and peered down at the Interceptor to see Jack at the helm chatting away with Murtog and Mullroy.
Things were going along very smoothly, and I was a bit surprised. It must have been the POTC powers that be that lured me here helping me out. And it was much appreciated, I mouthed 'thank you' up into the sky and began to creep closer to the Commodore and Elizabeth.
"I can't breathe!" Elizabeth exclaimed as I watched her fall down into the choppy rocky waters below. A few soldiers and the Commodore ran to the side.
"Elizabeth!" The Commodore screamed as he began to remove his coat. One man put his hand on him stopping him.
"Sir, the rocks, it's a miracle she missed them." he exclaimed, the Commodore looked pleadingly down and started to run for the stairs. I hoofed it behind him.
It was when we were half way down the stairs did the immense tremble rumbled through Port Royal signifying that Elizabeth was indeed wearing the amulet. The tremor knocked us down, seconds later we were all scrambling to our feet to race to get Elizabeth. It was at the bottom of the stairs did we part ways. The fact was I knew exactly were I would find her, and more importantly Jack.
Running straight for the docks I saw Murtog and Mullroy peering down into the water watching as Jack swam closer with Elizabeth in tow. With her thrown over his shoulder he began to climb the ladder to the dock. Murtog and Mullroy peered over at me.
"Ay, who are you?" Mullroy asked. I smirked and laughed.
"I didn't think my disguise was THAT good." I said jokingly. Murtog opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by Elizabeth being thrown at our feet.
He kneeled down and put his ear to her mouth.
"Not breathing!" he exclaimed in a panic. Jack knocked him down out of his way and drew his knife cutting her dress, then her corset. She promptly turned to her side coughing up water.
"That's odd." I said remarking to the fact that the water just spewed forth without any type of coaxing.
"Never would have thought of that." one of the dopes above Jack and I said peering down.
"Clearly you've never been to Singapore." Jack said leaning back and looking at me.
"Good work Jack." I said happily. He gave me a quizzical look and cocked an eyebrow.
"Sorry, I don't think we've met." He replied to me. This made me laugh and I removed the hat and pointed to my face smiling.
"Ringing a bell yet?" I questioned. He shook his head no, I looked at him sternly. "Really Jack it isn't nice of you to joke with me like this. If so you'll never get past second base."
"What are you talking about?" he questioned giving me a confused and annoyed look. My heart began to beat faster and faster. Then it became clear, the reason things were going along so smoothly, it wasn't because I had set it in motion. It was because they had forgotten me. All four of them had, and they were staring at me like I had just fallen out of the sky.
End Chapter One. I'm so awesome. And if you want to be just like me then damn, REVIEW, and I will think your awesome too! I wonder if fan allows you to pay off your readers for REVIEWS. My credit card number is…
