Chapter 2: Les décorations (Decorations – Part 1)

"Be careful with the tree!"

The first words Zelda says all day, and it comes in the form of a command. Not a surprise at all. The Hylian princess was known for being a bit more than pushy when the spirit of the holidays struck her. Hyrule has always had a holiday reminiscent of Christmas, called The Goddesses' Day of Spirits. It is a national holiday that has been taking place for as long as Zelda could remember. Now that she spends that day here with her friends, she applies the rules to simple, yet cherished, Christmas. She stood tall, treating her fellow Smashers in the way she treats loyal Hylian subjects.

"Careful!" she exclaimed yet again. She clasped her hands and held to her chest as if she was reciting a prayer. "I beg of you, be careful with that Christmas tree!"

"Zelda," Snake said through gritted teeth, "pray to your damn gods or something. Ike and I have this under control." The mercenary, as much as he respected Zelda, did not feel like hearing her shrills and demands. The Christmas tree was bothersome as hell, and he really wanted to get in the Christmas mood by taking a drag of his cigarette. In his line of work, celebrating Christmas was not mandatory. Killing was. Spying was. It was not something to be mixed together, and Snake never considered that on the 25 of December, he should sit down, watch Toadette's Christmas Spectacular, and drink some eggnog with bourbon in it.

Now here he was, carrying Christmas trees for a slightly-annoying royalty. Yep, this is what Christmas really is about.

Zelda told Ike and Snake of the perfect spot for the Christmas tree: in the middle of the living room, just as how the Spirits tree was placed in the middle of the throne. Unbeknownst to Snake, having every little detail perfect meant the world to Zelda. She was essentially replicating her homeland's holiday with her dearest friends. It was special. She carefully monitored the way Ike and Snake placed the Christmas tree, holding her breath until she made sure they did it right and to her specifications.

"Oh Goddesses, Goddesses, Goddesses, you two have the deepest of my appreciation."

Snake stretched and cracked his knuckles. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're welcome, princess. What I really would appreciate is a shot of whiskey."

"Snake!" Zelda exclaimed. She never approved of the mention of alcohol or any of addicting substances in front of the children, especially around Christmas time. However, she knew that wouldn't stop Snake from making brash, crude jokes around the impressionable children like Popo and Pit (well, Pit was seventeen at this point, but he still held the child-like dreamy quality that Zelda oh so appreciated). Some of these children even believed in jolly ol' Santa Claus, and by "some", I mean "Lucas".

"What?" Snake complained. "I didn't do anythin'!"

The princess crossed her arms. Her blue eyes were piercing. "Don't mention drinks around the children! One moment, you are making careless remarks about this 'whiskey'; the next moment, Lucas and Ness and Villager are secretly lacing the eggnog with…ah, what is it…? Oh, yes – brandy!"

Ike chose to enter this conversation with small fits of laughter. "I'm pretty sure it'll be easier to buy the eggnog with the alcohol in it, Zel."

The Hylian's blue eyes darkened and narrowed. She began to scream furiously at Ike, scolding him with valid – yet incomprehensible – points. At this point, Zelda sounded like a paranoid, old-fashioned, pretty much senile grandmother. Of course, this was of obvious amusement to both Ike and Snake, as both mercenaries broke into hysterical fits of laughter. This attracted some of the fellow Smashers, carrying boxes of Christmas decorations and witnessing Zelda's ire increase.

Ah, what a wondrous time of the year!

Lucina was one of the last Smashers to walk in. Fortunately, she was spared Zelda's ranting. The Hylian princess was calmed by her fellow princesses with their ideas of buying everyone a Christmas sweater. Lucina smiled; those Christmas sweaters sounded like an amazing idea, a nice and comfy way to get into the holiday spirit. She couldn't understand as to why Falco began to complain of everyone looking like "a dorky sitcom family during their hour-long special."

Rosalina eyed Falco. She was not particularly fond of the way Falco expressed his discontent with the sweaters so loudly. One little complaint could send Zelda screaming like a banshee from the depths of hell once again.

"Falco, please, don't say such things." Her tone was scolding, but still held that out-of-world quality to it. "Try to be a little more joyous; it is just an idea, it is not definite yet."

Falco shrugged. He knew that once Zelda hears an idea that sounded absolutely amazing to her that she was hooked. Like they probably always say, "Once a bossy Hylian princess has her mind set, there's no changing it."

"I'm just sayin' that no one would want to wear such dorky sweaters except dorky people."

Warm, blue eyes quickly froze into icy daggers. A banter about the pros and cons of ugly Christmas sweaters between Rosalina and Falco began as Peach calmly led Zelda from the room. We wouldn't want Zelda throwing in her two Rupees, now would we? Lucina stood there, watching it all with curious eyes. Christmas sweaters wouldn't be too bad, now would it? After all, it will be cold. The Ylissean princess couldn't understand Falco's vehemently denying the proposition, but she found herself oddly and calmly not wanting to get involved.

"Lucina, isn't the sweaters a very nice idea?" Rosalina asked. Her voice was slightly intimidating. Lucina could feel her relief of avoiding an argument fading away. Right now, it was hell on Earth decorated with Christmas lights, and Lucina was apparently the only one who could stop it from completely freezing over. The royal bluenette would have to choose her words wisely.

"Um…I have no comment," she said.

"Nice choice of words, Blueberry." Snake replied mockingly.

Rosalina was quite appalled at how Lucina could remain so neutral in such an important manner. They were allies…well, maybe not in the diplomatic sense, but still! The galactic beauty expected a little royal backup.

"Don't mind me askin', but what the hell is all the commotion about?" Everyone turned to see Dark Pit walking into the room, wearing the very article of clothing that sparked a not-so-jolly discussion. The sweater even came equipped with pockets, of which Dark Pit was making use of by having candy canes stuffed in it. Lucina, now seeing the object that has so many mixed opinions attributed to its name, responded appropriately.

"Oh my, what is that ridiculous garb? There is now way I'm wearing that!" The princess doubled over in laughter, knowing she'll be invoking Dark Pit's anger. Then again, it was quite hard to the take the dark angel seriously, even when she noticed a seemingly endless amount of candy canes being thrown at her.

"Dear Lord!" Falco exclaimed, "Lucina has seen the light and Dark Pit…well, apparently Dark Pit's blind."

"Shut the hell up, both of you!" Another candy cane bounced off of Lucina's head and fell to the floor, being quickly snatched by Fido (who was quite glad that food was being dropped to the floor just for him). "I like the sweater, okay!"

"Dork!" Lucina and Falco both said, sharing a good laugh at Dark Pit's expense. The angel rolled his eyes before deciding two things: 1)It's almost Christmastime, and he doesn't have to deal with their jeers and 2)That damned dog was taking his precious candy canes!

Lucina wiped the tears from eyes, her face redder than Dark Pit's sweater and her laughter dying down. She still wasn't too sure as to what she wanted for Christmas – thankfully, Peach did not ask her about it today – but Lucina was sure that she wanted this incorporated into her holiday needs: this sense of joy and fun.

"I hate you guys so much," the crimson-eyed boy muttered. "I hope this so-called Santa shoves the freakin' coal down your throat. And what's with the decorations? It's only December freakin' 8th!"

Falco rolled his eyes, an act that Dark Pit found creepy that an anthropomorphic pheasant can do such a thing. "Dude, it doesn't hurt to decorate early. I don't agree you and the girls' love for big, disgusting sweaters, but I believe in getting all things Christmas crap-related over with. Hell, the stores decorate for Christmas before Thanksgiving!"

Rosalina sighed. "Not all stores decorate for Christmas during Thanksgiving, Falco."

"But they sure as hell show commercials for it. Face it: Christmas isn't what it used to be."

Snake stood from the couch, sensing that trouble was beginning to brew again. He grabbed Ike, who was also sitting on the couch, eating candy canes that he managed to steal before Fido got to them, and dragged him out of the living room. That pheasant sure knows how to piss people off. Maybe they should all sit down and watch Toadette's Christmas Spectacular, which was on right now, if Snake remembered right.

Lucina cocked her head. "Falco, would you care to explain yourself some more? What is so different between now and the past?"

Falco laughed. "Naïvety doesn't really fit you, Blueberry. Christmas is so materialized now. No one cares about spending time with your loved ones; just go to the store and buy the presents for the little brats and annoying family. I mean, hey – the stores will be open on Christmas anyway. Wait 'til then!"

"Falco, hush. Lucina, do not listen to him." Rosalina gravitated towards Lucina in the way the moon gravitates close to Earth. "No employees work on Christmas."

Falco laughed. It was actually pretty funny, trying to shield an adult woman from the world like an overprotective mom. He guessed he could burst some bubbles before watching the last half hour of Toadette's Christmas Spectacular.

"They might as well! Christmas is so materialized and commercialized that it has no damn meaning anymore! You really think it's all about St. Nick sliding breaking and entering into house, eating our food and leaving presents under the tree? No! It's all about the money that's made from parents wasting money on the new, latest bullcrap! Christmas isn't family time anymore; it's grab-the-presents-and-leave-me-alone time!"

"It surely isn't like that," protested Lucina. "No one just wants material goods for – "

"Then what do you want?" Falco retorted. He paused shortly to allow Lucina to respond. A sufficient amount of time passed, and Falco continued, smirking. "Exactly. I rest my case."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU REST YOUR CASE?!"

All young and old turned to see a red-faced Princess Zelda, heaving and puffing like a certain big, bad wolf. After having regained her calm with some nice tea, Zelda had decided to return and had unfortunately heard blasphemous declarations. Who could say such a horrible thing? Only the misguided fools would spout such words.

"Aw crap," Falco muttered. Maybe he should've kept his big beak shut like good ol' St. Nick would've wanted. Guess who's getting coal for causing trouble?

"What you say is not the true! The Goddesses' Day – er, I mean Christmas – is special to everyone! Not every single person is corrupt and conceited!"

The brunette proceeded to scream, explaining why Falco's opinion was obviously wrong. Everyone stood there awkwardly – one doesn't simply interrupt Princess Zelda's rant, unless one would their Christmas death wish granted early. Lucina had learned this early on, and she couldn't help but listen and wince at the rapid-fire bullets of wrath her fellow princess was shooting. Was there a way to escape without Zelda noticing? Maybe – just maybe – if Lucina fakes unconsciousness…no, no, no, that's not very nice to make everyone worry like that. Tempting, but not nice at all.

"Psst, Miss Lucina, over here," a voice beckoned from somewhere. Lucina only knew of one person who refers to her as "Miss Lucina." The Ylissean turned to see the one and only Hero-King hiding behind a corner, wearing an ugly Christmas sweater and a Santa hat.

Oh dear, he looked sillier than Dark Pit, and that says a lot.

Lucina backed away slowly, managing not to be seen. If there is anything she has learned from Yarne, it's that running away from dire situations comes in handy. She moved stealthily until she left the living room and met up with Marth and Sakura. Sakura also adorned a Santa hat and a sweater that said "Santa's Little Helper." Adorable, but dorky nonetheless. The princess's blue eyes moved Sakura's sweater to a large bag Marth had over his shoulder and then to a letter that Marth quickly handed to her. Lucina raised an eyebrow at the king then at the envelope that she took and held delicately in her hands. The envelope was fancy, and on the front, the words "To my dearest Lucina" written carefully in cursive letters. She didn't recognize the stamp nor the beautiful handwriting.

"Marth," she began, still looking at the envelope, "what is - ?"

The Hero-King smiled. "Open it, Miss Lucina."

Lucina did just that, carefully opening the envelope and taking out the folded piece of paper. Unfolding it, her eyes quickly scanned its contents before they sparkled in surprise, a small gasp escaping her lips.

"It's…it's a letter from my sister, Cynthia."

"I knew you would like it," Marth said. He adjusted the bag. "Now grab your coat and come quickly. You too, Sakura; we have letters to deliver."

"YOU UNCOUTH FOOL! HOW DARE YOU DENY THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS?!"

The trio shuddered in fear. "Hurry, hurry, we don't want to be here for the storm. And quickly write a letter, too." He dismissed Lucina's surprised expression at the order. "Quickly, think of something; you're the only one who didn't write a letter." The Hero-King shivered again as Zelda's screams amazingly gotten louder. He looked at Sakura, who returned the stare, and they both nodded, quickly ending up on the same page.

Can't there be a simple moment of quiet and peace in this mansion?


Sorry for making Falco kind of a douchebag. I promise there will be an even bigger douchebag in later chapters. Oh, and Zellie for being OOC. Originally, I was going to have Male!Morgan as Lucy's sibling, but I realize I should've set up Robin as her mother last chapter. Oh well.

The moment that, on this upcoming Friday – the day before Winter Break – my school is having an Ugly Sweater/Socks Day. I swear to God it's time to drop out – er, I mean…yay! Sweaters in an academic setting! Amazing!