Skin Deep
Chapter 2
You always feel relief after crying, on the inside, although externally your eyes are tired, dry and sticky as you attempt to find another patch of a dry sleeve to mop up your sorrow, you could tell she had been doing just that as she walks out of the automatic doors. Her breath hitches as she stops suddenly, the cold night air enveloping her whole body in seconds. He's standing there, looking down at his phone, the small glaring light perfectly outlines his features in a way she cannot comprehend. Walking past him wasn't an option, she couldn't ignore.
''Edward?'' She questions it although she knows- she could never be mistaken. His eyes dart to hers suddenly and a previously hard stance softens slightly.
''Hi, what are you doing here?''
To say she was fucked was an understatement, her eyes widen and he know's it wasn't the right question-although seemed like only to be a normal, fluid one. ''My brother...he's uh, just has an infection, nothing serious I'm just visiting.'' Nothing serious.
Nothing serious.
Her words flow down her, echo through her head and nearly bring tears to her saturated eyes. He deserved a better explanation, but she couldn't bring herself to admit the severity of a situation she knew all too well was permanent. ''You?''
''Sister had the appendix out.'' His eyes roll back and she dares to take a step closer. ''I just dropped her off some things, about to walk home.'' He seems to shiver just thinking about it. The dark was such a cold place, marvelous, intriguing to her.
''Don't you live like an hour away?'' She's shaking, she can feel it flow through her, an energy of sorts that consumes, it spreads and gets worse when he grins sarcastically.
''Yeah I do, should be fucking fun.''
She doesn't hear the words come out, like unconsciously agreeing to something but knows what she asked. His eyes-green-light up in relief and bewilderment. ''I didn't know you had a car-you ride your bike everywhere.''
''Better for the environment,'' she stumbles out. ''But I panicked when they called me, I rushed over, I needed the car.''
''Well, lead the way.'' He gestures with his hand. ''Considering the size of your house I should have guessed you'd own a car.''
Or three. She doesn't let on, just tightly smiles in a way she tends to avoid doing. They walk silently and she regrets everything, she'll have to see him tomorrow-even if he doesn't know she'll see him- at the house. He's painting the side that her bedroom is on, and that shouldn't cause butterflies and anxiety to crush her stomach and windpipe, but they do.
''No,'' He shakes his head and for a moment she's convinced she did something wrong until his eyes light up. ''That is not your car?''
''I take it you watch-''
''Fuck yes, I've been wanting one of these for years.''
She's embarrassed again, wishing he hadn't commented at all, wishing she hadn't offered him a lift home. It's later than she thought, sleep nearly consumes her but the heat she can feel radiating from his body in the seat next to her makes her alert. ''So, I didn't know you had a brother, though I guess I didn't know it was your house until last week anyway either.''
''He doesn't live with me.'' The way her voice shakes is uncontrollable and awkward, yet unavoidable. ''He lives away from home right now, I just avoided the random guy in my garden.''
He, thankfully, doesn't linger on the brother thing. ''I'm not a stranger-we have art together.''
''Edward,'' her tone turns sarcastic, she doesn't know where all her words are coming from, the only person she talks to this much was Rose and Mike. ''We have three classes together.''
''Shit,'' he laughs nervously, from embarrassment. ''sorry I didn't notice.''
''Not a lot of people do.'' She shrugs. ''I keep to myself, so it's not your fault.''
They sit with uncomfortable silence settled between them, the radio playing a random 90's hit. Every few seconds he would shift in his seat and take in a hesitant breath, his hands crushed together. ''I'm starving.''
''Me too,'' she looks ahead, hating the bumpy road they were traveling. ''I skipped dinner.''
''Why don't we stop for something?''
''What?''
''What too good to eat with me?'' He's light, laughing, joking, taking a risk.
''No,'' Bella immanently protests. ''I just don't like eating out.'' She doesn't like out, period.
''Oh-''
''No but yeah food.'' She swallows with a dry mouth. ''Let's eat.''
She didn't know what the fuck was happening-yes she had been on dates before, had a boyfriend, done the whole thing. Not that this was a date, not that anyone would want to date her anymore...in this state.
They passed three closed diners and restaurants until they found one with a glowing open sign. Edward glances over at her, he's too scared to look in case she thinks he's staring. ''This will do,'' He chokes out, not knowing why, girls weren't his strong point, he thought he had acted smooth at the start but he was basically asking her out right now, and this didn't settle his stomach.
While she's parking he sneaks a glance, her eyes bright, hair shining. The glow of the lights of the building didn't do her justice and highlighted the red, jagged scar taking over her face. He had wondered what happened the first day he saw her but wasn't ignorant enough to ask, that didn't stop his friends from joking about it though.
Suddenly she wished she had applied some bit of makeup-any amount. Although when the hospital called her she feared the worst, thinking Mike was gone for sure this time. No, just an infection-another one.
Walking in crushes her chest in the breath-stealing way she has grown used to. People stare, she knows that they will before she stepped from the car. The waitress was good at hiding her stares, handing them a menu and guiding them to a booth in the corner, she sat facing the window so he had to face out, so no one could see. They are silent up until they order, as the menus are taken up he takes a breath.
"So," he glances over at her, his clear skin gleaming as his mouth pulls into a smile. "what are your plans for next year?"
She holds the tall menu so her face is mostly covered and answers without a pause. ''Social Care." Although her mind constantly debated on if she would have a next year or not. "you?"
He stated to shrug before her question had been asked, obviously not knowing what he was to do after graduation, but with no verbal response, they sank deeply back into an awkward silence.
"I don't mean to offend but do many people stare?" Her eyebrow raises from shock, it's a brave question, and out of nowhere, until she spots the woman across the way glancing over every so often, nearly spilling her coffee everywhere when Bella stares her down. She liked that he didn't brush over the subject; that never happens.
"You get used to it,"
"That's good then,"
"I never said I liked it," she shifts in her seat and locks his eyes. People are cruel, but she doesn't fit into their perfect little box, she cracks their perception and people stare at the 'abnormal'. Her thoughts anger her and she has to take in a breath, "I gave up on people a long time ago."
"People do fuck you over-" The light above them flickers, a distraction that engulfs them both. This was awkward, she knew it was awkward and couldn't quite figure out how this had happened, how exactly she had ended up bare-faced sitting in a greasy red booth across from Edward, Edward of all people who hung with those who had no problem in staring-there was no subtlety. Edward who has mimicking colored eyes to her, with black hair so nice that styling it was irrelevant, with this weird demeanor about him that pulls her in and forces her away at once. She had noticed him in school, she notices everyone, he seemed normal enough, too normal for her, she was boycotting boys, boycotting everyone but her friend.
She pushed her food around more than she ate it, already full of anxiety anyway and making food useless and sickening. He inhaled it in one bite and she wanted nothing more than to leave. It got cold at night and the diner didn't accommodate to this much, the air conditioner blowing on her shoulders and down her back.
Bella pulls out enough to pay for food and a tip, stating that she'll get it and to think of it as a workers bonus, he protested but not too harshly, knowing how much he needed to save and how she didn't. They both wish for the air between them to be airy and bright, light and weightless, yet it puts a weight on their shoulders they try to push back.
Back in the car music calms the tension. "Where do you live?"
He hesitates, linking his fingers together. "Drop me at yours, I'll walk it's not too far."
"No I'll drive you," her response is automatic. "I'm not letting you walk home alone this late, you'll be stabbed."
He looks out the window, debating. She lives in lavish, in a three-story mansion, it was the biggest house he had ever set foot in, the bathroom bigger than his room, kitchen nearly bigger than his house. Not that he hated his home, there was nothing wrong with it but next to her's, it was trash. "Edward I will just drive around until you tell me, common I don't mind."
I do. he thinks, but fuck it it's better than nothing, it's just a house. Not like she cared about a house, about him anyway. "Glenview."
"Oh," She understood, and not that she would verbally admit this but it's better she did drive him home, or else he actually might get stabbed. She clears her throat before continuing while his brain fries in embarrassment. "That's fine, so how's your sister?"
Bad line of questioning, asking about his sister leads to questions about her brother-but it was the only thing she could think to ask him.
"She's fine, apparently it's a simple operation and she'll be home tomorrow- how's your brother?"
She shifts in her seat, looking out into the darkness beyond her headlights and allowing her brain to sink into the music for a moment first. "He has an infection and pneumonia, his immune system is really bad but it's not the worst he's had." Understatement.
"Oh, sorry."
"It's fine," her voice shakes every breath in is relaxed and every breath out was nearly followed by a heavy stream of vomit. The humid air of the car made her uncomfortable, his presence did too. She was too aware of him, her whole body tingling and churning as did his. He was too close, distracting, the thoughts of what he must think of her, judgment and hatred were all she could think about, judging him for judging her, hating him for making her think, making her care of what she looked like.
He liked the way her hair fell over her shoulder like a blanket, thick and soft; a nightmare in their climate he assumed. Her face twitched whenever she noticed him looking at her, even when he wasn't staring the way she thought, he stared a different way. Thoughts like this weren't good for him; words his friends used to ridicule her swirling through his mind, he had never noticed her before, never her, just what you got at face value, the assumptions that ran skin deep and hurt. He had never before noticed the way she carefully controlled her breath and opened eyes wide when nervously overthinking. Never noticed the slight stammer she occasionally choked out, how even though she felt the same as him-a knowing queasy nervousness that consumed, she looks oddly relaxed even with tensed shoulders. Her eyes stayed straight but occasionally wondered. In essence, she was beautiful, amazing, many words that make his own thoughts rebel against him. She was. She wasn't.
She just wasn't perfect.
Appearance shouldn't matter, but it does, he thinks of her and smiles until his eyes wander over to the faded red scar that maims half her face. Knowing that being associated with her would bring embarrassment while also knowing he shouldn't give a shit.
"What number?"
He hadn't realized she'd pulled into Glenview-she barely noticed herself. She drives down whatever street he directs until they stop at a house with a silver car out front, at first she hadn't noticed that the car door was open until a woman looks up from where she was half in the car looking for something she'd forgotten. As her face flashes into view Bella slams on the breaks, her whole body draining of blood so suddenly she felt ill, her stomach twisted itself into a knot and her fingers grasped the steering wheel painfully.
"What did you say your parents did again?" She nearly spits out through clenched teeth, panic shutting her down.
He's confused, shook, flushed from confusion. "What? Er, my dad-"
"Your mom?" She demands, looking at her standing in the driveway trying to squint into the car, Bella turns her head towards him. "What does she do?"
"She's a paramedic-you okay?"
"Get out," Her voice is harsh and she keeps her head down, his mother is still staring and now calling his name. Bella tries to swallow but nearly chokes instead. "Please Edward for the love of God get out of my car."
She's shaking, holding back angry tears. He fumbles for his belt but detaches quickly and jerkily gets out, then stars as she drives off before the door is closed, speeding off into the distance.
"Edward who was that?"
He looks at his mother, confused to hell. "I work for her, her dad technically, do you know her? Bella something."
Her eyes flash with acknowledgment, her face falling? "Isabella? You work for Isabella Dwyer?"
"No one calls her that-" all of her profiles online were Bella. "you know her?"
He could only see his mother through the small, dim car light that forced itself on when the door opened. "Stay away from her, for me?" She shuts the door, plunging them into the darkness. "For me please, cut her from your life apart from at work." She starts walking, he follows her back into the house.
"Mom what the fuc-"
"Don't," Her overworked eyes bulge from her face with her words. "She is not good for you Al, just stay away."
"What-"
"Stay away." She walks up the stars then, leaving him standing there wondering what the hell had just happened.
Bella didn't go home to her empty house as planned, instead speeding back to the hospital even though visiting hours were up, she didn't care. By his side she slept all night, his cold hand resting in hers until she woke with a wet patch beneath her eyes and an even bigger sinking hole plaguing her chest.
Okay so thanks to everyone who's reading this and drop me some love in the form of a review and tell me if I should continue with this or not, next chapter is coming soon, thank you! ;)xxx
-BATTM
