Note: I don't own Stargate Atlantis. If I did, it'd have a theme song done by Alvin and the Chipmunks. I own Abby, Cepheus, Osiris, and Sir Hiss. For those who are wondering, this takes place before Teyla becomes Queen of the Alliance and places Todd in charge, effectively making this an AU. Wish me luck as I trash the timeline, for I fear I may not make it through these tortured lands burned to bring Universe to power alive. What? Now...

This is memory lane, narration, and emphasis during speech.

Chapter 2: It's All Fun and Games...

John and Teyla both blinked. They blinked again, and again, trying to register what they were seeing. The entire room looked like it had been remodeled by the Incredible Hulk, with various pieces of furniture where they shouldn't be, or not in the position they should be. That, and there were little black rings here and there, indicating Ronon's gun had gone off.

"What the heck happened here?!" John cried, absolutely dumb struck. Ronon suddenly appeared from under the rubble, and answered, "Todd asked me if I would play a game that kids on Earth play with him..."

"And which one would that be?"

"Tag. And I won."

Teyla then noticed within the rubble, Todd slowly peeking his head out of whatever piece of furniture he was hiding in. The young Wraith looked absolutely terrified, and his breathing was very shaky. Teyla knew exactly what he was thinking: Playing any game -no matter what world it was from- with Ronon was dangerous.

"Hey Ronon, what's with all these rings all over the place?" John inquired, his tone slightly accusing. "My gun was set to stun, before you say anything." Ronon replied quickly. "No it wasn't!" Todd shrieked, as Teyla decided to take pity on him and held him close in a comforting manner. Ronon gave her a disgusted look, as if appalled that she dared to baby the humanoid insect.

"Ronon, if you hate Todd so much, why'd you even volunteer to babysit him?" John asked. Ronon narrowed his eyes dangerously. "You and everyone else ran out of the room, leaving me behind," he started, "I did not volunteer to babysit that thing over there." John's expression turned blank, until the memories dawned on him. "Oh..." he said rather stupidly.

"Even so, can't you be a little nicer to him?" Teyla inquired, Todd still clinging to her, "And not try to shoot him...while playing an innocent game?" Ronon looked at her and finally said, "...Fine..." His eyes then fell on Todd, who grinned innocently. The little faker. Ronon could see through his deception...

Then again, the expression did look genuine...

"Todd, you can let go now..." Teyla informed the boy, who apparently would have none of it. Instead he held on to her tighter, now looking at Ronon warily. John looked at this and said, "Man, I wish I had a camera..." Teyla looked at Todd, as if considering prying him off with a crowbar. She had to admit it was disturbing how much he behaved like a human child. Then she remembered Ellia, and it all made sense to her.

Later...

Ronon had no idea Wraith children could be this pathetic. Todd had accidentally knocked down Rodney's coffee mug, smashing it into pieces, and now he was frantically trying to fix it with some tape and glue. He even promised to go sit in the 'Time-Out' corner, as John had called the corner he ran to the day before, once he fixed it.

"Don't worry about it..." Ronon groaned, "It's just a coffee mug..." That did nothing to set Todd's mind at rest. "But I killed it!" he shrieked, still trying to put the mug back together, "I have to fix it! I just have to!"

"Somehow I think all that glue will kill Rodney..."

Todd stopped what he was doing immediately. He then mentally kicked himself for letting himself forget that the glue humans used was poisonous to them. He then threw the glue bottle away and focused on using the tape. Ronon looked like he wanted to smack the six-year-old upside the head for his stupidity. In fact, that's just what he did.

"OW!" Todd yelped, holding his head and fighting back tears. 'Stupid Wraith...' Ronon thought to himself, wanting so desperately to blast Todd and be done with him forever. Then he remembered what Woolsey would most likely do if they found out he had ended the little monster's sorry existence. After more consideration, Ronon decided there were other Wraith who were far more deserving of a burning energy blast to their head then Todd was. Like the little brat Abby, for example.

Speaking of the devil, Abby suddenly walked into the lab to retrieve any math equations Rodney had for her. Ronon immediately grabbed his gun and fired at her, narrowly missing her head. Abby stood there wide-eyed, and with her back against the wall, before promptly running out of the room. Ronon grinned darkly, before looking at Todd, who had rather messily taped the mug back together ( though it did not bare any resemblance to the mug of old).

"Do you think Rodney will notice I broke it?" Todd asked timidly, as if he were a mass murderer or something. Ronon was about to say something that would most likely make the green-skinned boy cry, but then remembered he more or less promised Teyla of all people that he would be nicer to him. So instead, he decided to say a little white lie, "I don't think he'll ever notice it was broken." Todd grinned a very hopeful grin that just didn't look right on his features, before setting the taped monstrosity down on the table in all its taped and shattered glory.

As they walked out of the lab, Ronon couldn't help but glare at Todd. He found it ridiculous that everyone was treating him a lot nicer now then they did before. Being young did not change who or what he was. Nor was it an excuse to suddenly start treating him the way they all were. But for the sake of everyone else's nonexistent sanity, Ronon decided he would play their ridiculous little game.

Later...

"So, any ideas on what this device is?" Radek asked calmly, having noticed the ruined mug. "Well, I've had a couple marines touch it and they haven't been turned into kids, so I assume it only works on Wraith." Rodney answered, having not noticed the mug yet.

"Does the Ancient database say anything about this device?"

"Well... WHAT IN BANANAVILLE HAPPENED TO MY MUG?!"

"My thoughts exactly, McKay. Thank you for your help."

Radek then proceeded to look at his computer, researching a model of the device while muttering something in Czech that most likely meant 'Weirdo', or words to that effect. Upon examining the small-scale model, he noticed something unusual. "Rodney," he started, getting the poor Canadian's attention, "Was this the only device in that lab?" Rodney immediately answered, "I think so. Why?"

"Because it looks like this one connects to another one."

Suddenly, the mug's untimely and mysterious demise took a backseat in Rodney's mind.

"Osiris, can you watch Todd for awhile?" Ronon asked, "I'm going off-world soon." Osiris, afraid of Ronon, answered, "Oh yes! It shall be done!"

"Thank you."

Ronon walked off, leaving the thirteen-year-old Jaffa with Todd. Now, Todd had seen Osiris before when he was an adult, but he never knew Jaffa carried a snake in their pouch. He soon discovered they did when the Goa'uld 'Sir Hiss' suddenly poked its head out of Osiris' pouch. It eyed Todd with an expression he didn't really like.

After three seconds, Todd screamed. Sir Hiss screamed back.

Osiris looked at Todd rather puzzled, unaware that his symbiont was loose again. Slowly, he looked down at his uncovered stomach, and his brown eyes widened in terror.

He screamed along with Todd and Sir Hiss.

Abby was watching this from afar, with a 'What in heck?' look on her face. An Asgard with green eyes and wearing a get-up similar to that of Snoopy's when he fought the Red Baron, watched this as well. He shook his head and walked away, in a 'I'm so not impressed' manner. Abby looked at him. "Cepheus?" she questioned, "Since when did you start acting like an Asgard?!" She ran after him, muttering something about the universe tearing at the seams.

After a fews seconds, Sir Hiss grew annoyed with the screaming and went back inside Osiris' pouch, hissing the whole time. Osiris promptly fainted while Todd placed his non-feeding hand over his chest, letting out a sigh of relief. That was the first time he had ever seen a Goa'uld in action, and he didn't intend to see one again. They were pretty horrifying. And this one didn't even have a host yet!

Host...there was something just plain wrong about a snake going inside your neck and controlling your body...

Todd then shoved that thought out of his mind. Other then Sir Hiss, there weren't any Goa'uld in Pegasus. Just humans, Wraith, Ancients, cloud people, Replicators, and half-human, half-Wraith Hybrids made by that lunatic Michael. And not to mention Asgards running around in Darth Vader-ish suits. All perfectly normal, and not really that scary.

Okay, maybe the Vader wannabes were a little psycho...

Note: ...And this is where the chapter ends. Sorry it was shorter then the last one, but I really couldn't think of anything else. Funnily enough, I've often wondered how the Goa'uld and the Wraith would react to each other if they ever met face-to-face. Somehow, I doubt they'd scream like Sir Hiss and Todd did ( oh, the trials of youth). XD But anyways, review please? Y'know, I would LOVE to stay here and talk forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever...

TWO YEARS LATER....

...and ever. But I can't. *runs like heck*