Author's note: This chapter was very hard to write. Between life and the nature of what points we had to hit, it wasn't an easy task :)
Again, we don't own anything. We haven't had any meetings with BBC (sadly). Nor could we afford it. As Fern said, this was hard. So now, we are ridiculously proud of ourselves. We're so full of ourselves...
Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. Enjoy!
The Legend of the Seeker crew rose early the next morning. The first conversation of the day was (you guessed it) the dresses. Cara griped about how uncomfortable and impractical her's was. Kahlan, however, was more excited about the dresses than anything else.
"Look at this!" she squealed. "What is this interesting contraption?" Kahlan pulled a piece of metal up and down a framework of metal bits. "It pulls together and pulls apart the fabric so easily!"
Richard (because he's the leader of course) made a point of reiterating what little plan they had in a very commanding tone. "Alright everyone, we're going to search for Merlin, get a lay of the land, and find out as much as we can from the other townsfolk while we're at it. Let's go."
They all nodded in agreement. They commenced romping around the town in search of answers. Their behavior would have made one wonder if they were playing this game: harass-the-townsfolk-as-much-as-possible-without-getting-arrested.
Their fearless leader began to try profiling the townspeople. For some reason he thought it would be obvious who would help them in their fight against Uther. Zedd and Kahlan seemed to think the same thing. Cara was desperately searching for some clue that they were still in the Midlands. Heck, she'd settle for D'Hara or the Westlands. As the day wore on it became apparent that her wish was in vain. She needed to pull her mind off such gloomy thoughts. Time for a fresh onslaught against the dresses.
"That's it! Either I'm changing back into my leather, or I'm going naked!" Cara declared.
"Cara, we're trying to keep a low profile," Richard patronized.
"Who cares about a 'low profile'? Let's just go in, and put an end to Uther," Cara hissed.
"Cara," Zedd interjected, trying to calm her. "We don't have enough knowledge about this place."
Cara let out a growl of annoyance. "We have the lay of the land! What more do we need?"
We need more about Uther and his son," Kahlan purred.
"Who knows what they're hiding," Richard finished.
"If we could just get Merlin alone. Maybe we could persuade him to tell us more," Zedd contemplated.
Cara groaned. They had been asking about Merlin all day. She was sick of the stupid boy's name. She didn't want to hear it. She didn't want to say it. If she saw his name, she'd probably rip it up the paper. When they asked about him they usually got a blank look. Most people didn't know who he was. When they did know him, a bemused look spread over their faces. "The physician's ward" or "Prince Arthur's loyal manservant" they'd say. Then, without fail, this question would follow: "Why do you ask?"
Cara was also tired of asking why magic was illegal. After the question was posed, people would stop being near as friendly—not that Cara minded the lack of cordiality. What she minded was looks of contempt or pity at their 'stupidity'. Their tone was even more annoying. She silently swore that the next person to say, "magic corrupts the soul," would find their head in the nearest chamber pot.
Just then, Cara's silent reverie was broken. The woman whose home they had invaded yesterday walked by, holding a basket.
"Why, hello, Guin..." Zedd paused, searching for the rest of her name.
Gwen stopped and turned abruptly. No, she thought, not them again. "Guinevere," she corrected, then resumed her errand for Morgana. She had neither the time, nor the desire to talk with the crazy clan. She might consider getting a good, strong lock on her door if they kept this up.
"We're sorry about yesterday," The dark haired girl's voice piped up. Wasn't she a "mother" of something? No matter. Gwen kept walking at a brisk pace. The woman continued, "We were just wondering if you knew where we could find Merlin."
Gwen wheeled around in surprise. "Why?"
Cara felt a sudden surge of hope that this woman might actually have some information. Guinevere obviously knew this Merlin. She skipped every other show of befuddlement the other people expressed. Her interest in knowing why was obviously in concern for a friend.
"We need to talk to him," Richard answered. "It's very important."
"Um, well, he's probably working for Prince Arthur right now," Gwen answered elusively. She had no intention of telling them exactly where Merlin was, even if she knew. "I could tell him that you're looking for him next time I see him."
"Thank you," Kahlan smiled.
"If you'll excuse me, I really need to get back to work," Gwen said, trying to be polite. She hurried away before they could sidetrack her again. Sure, Gwen would tell Merlin they wanted to him. However, Gwen was certain he wouldn't want to appease their whim.
For the first time that day, Cara didn't want to see a townsperson walk away. That woman knew Merlin personally! Cara wanted to to press the woman for information. The sooner they found this Merlin, the sooner they could move on. But before Cara could act on her desires, Zedd suggested:
"Let's check if a visit to Merlin's work would be allowed."
Cara sighed, "Let's just find the physician."
"No!" Zedd, Richard, and Kahlan protested in unison. Their pride was still smarting from the suggestion that they might be feverish.
"There is no way we'd be allowed near Merlin while he's serving the prince." Part of Cara wondered why she was astounded at their stupidity. "We're best off trying to catch him at his home."
Merlin stood watching Arthur and his knights train. Occasionally, Merlin saw Sir Boris' servant give him a dirty look. The day before, Sir Boris paid for his persistent idiocy. Then, he still hadn't his lesson. He wanted to further prove his lack of brain! Arthur decided the only reasonable thing to do was to drug Sir Stupid. Arthur also, of course, insisted that Merlin be the one to do it. When Merlin asked why Arthur didn't just knock the knight out, Arthur scoffed. He explained that he didn't want to unnecessarily anger Sir Boris, and that knocking him out would defeat the purpose of drugging him.
So, when Sir Boris' servant was bringing his master a drink Merlin crossed the servant's path. He inconspicuously hovered near the other servant just long enough to convince Arthur the deed was done. Rather than risking a slight of hand, Merlin then slipped to a vantage point where he could magically force Sir Stupid to take a nap.
Sir Boris was furious when he woke. Everyone told him that he had overexerted himself. But no amount of reassurances could stop him from yelping that he had been drugged. Unfortunately for the servant, he was blamed profusely.
After training, Arthur and Merlin returned to Arthur's chambers. Arthur carelessly dropped his armor all over the floor whilst telling Merlin his troubles. He started by verbally abusing Sir Boris.
"How did he become a knight anyway?" Merlin asked, remembering that the final test to knighthood was surviving a fight with Arthur.
"He used a sword in the test. He's good with that. Well, at least he didn't touch a mace today," Arthur congratulated himself. He paused and turned to face Merlin. "What were those people from the woods doing at Gwen's?"
"That's a good question." Merlin heaved the discarded armor onto the table.
"Answer me," Arthur ordered.
"I don't know, but Gwen was terrified." Merlin sat and began cleaning the armor.
"Were they invading her home? Why didn't you just call in the guards?" Arthur asked somewhat indignantly.
"Gwen went to Gaius because they seem to have a mental disease," Merlin explained without looking or pausing in his work.
"Perhaps it's good I didn't catch that rabbit," Arthur muttered.
"What?" Merlin's head snapped up.
"I wanted to give it to Guinevere," Arthur explained
"You wanted to give Gwen a stuffed rabbit?" Merlin asked incredulously. He felt sure that he had misunderstood.
"No, you idiot!"
"Well, you said something about hunting trophies when we went," Merlin defended.
"My stables need mucking out," Arthur stated authoritatively.
Merlin opened his mouth to jibe Arthur.
"Go," Arthur cut Merlin off and pointed to the door.
"Alright," Merlin lifted his arms in a mocking yield. He then obediently strode out of the room.
Merlin figured that most of Arthur's bad mood was due to Sir Boris. But then, Sir Boris had been less annoying than usual today. Maybe it was a build up of dealing with and being forced to drug Sir Boris. Perhaps his irritation had nothing to do with Sir Boris. His missed opportunity to give Gwen a dead rabbit? Why Arthur would want to give that type of gift was beyond Merlin. It wasn't exactly Arthur's style, unless she was starving. And Gwen wasn't starving. And if she was, Arthur wouldn't waste time hunting. Instead, he'd spend all his spare time sending Merlin to steal from the kitchens.
As Merlin neared the citadel entrance, he heard raised voices. Was somebody arguing with the guards? And some of those voices sounded eerily familiar.
"But we really need to speak with him," a distinctly female voice chimed. "Why can't you send a messenger?" Where had he heard that voice before? It was so... childish.
"We're going to have to ask you to leave," a guard replied firmly.
"Can we at least wait here?" It was a male's voice this time. He sounded proud and condescending.
Merlin rounded the last corner as a guard gave another "no."
"There he is," an old man pointed—the old man from the forest.
No, Merlin thought, not them. Not again. Merlin immediately turned around. Arthur's horses could wait!
Before Merlin could take two steps, one of the guards seized his arm. "They need to see you," the guard taunted.
Merlin pulled away and tried protesting, "But Arthur-"
"They need you," the other guard emphasized with a hint of pleading. He grabbed Merlin's other arm. The two guards dragged Merlin out the door. They were beyond caring what the prince preferred. They were about to arrest the hooligans anyway. But why not opt for something simpler? Throwing Merlin to the wolves was quick, easy, and painless. And the only neck risked, if any, was Merlin's.
Merlin gave a dismayed look as he was being thrown to the four smiling faces. Since the guards obviously weren't going to let him back anytime soon, Merlin changed tactics. He muttered an "excuse me" and walked briskly toward the stables.
"Wait, we need to talk to you," Richard called. Merlin could have sworn he heard the guards snickering.
"I'm busy," Merlin called back without the slightest break in stride.
"We only need a moment," the man pressed.
"I don't have a moment to spare."
"That's a lie," one of the women condemned.
Merlin ignored her and strode straight into the stables. He grabbed a pitchfork and began shoveling with very deliberate movements.
Undeterred, the foursome crowded in. In retaliation, Merlin began trying to turn the stables into a stinking hole of death, whilst still getting his work done. He stabbed the clumps, breaking them up. Then, he gave each scoop a few unnecessary shakes before disposal. Hopefully, the smell would become so offensive that they would leave... or pass out. Why couldn't I have forgotten to muck out the stables yesterday? Merlin thought.
Each of the Legend of the Seeker heroes saw Merlin's behavior differently.
Kahlan stared at the way Merlin sifted every scoop of manure. Does he realize how much worse the smell gets each time he does that? Kahlan thought, Maybe he doesn't have a sense of smell. Or, maybe the sifting is somehow more efficient. I don't see how though. But then, I've never done this before.
Cara thought the excessive breaking up and shaking of the crap looked inefficient. Logically, doing all that had to make the job more difficult. Why did he do it? He looked so deliberate and unfriendly. Was he just trying to demonstrate his determination to work with exaggerated movements? No, it didn't look quite like that. And the smell...
Richard wondered whether Merlin was an inept idiot. He couldn't imagine why anyone would do all that extra stabbing and sifting. Doesn't he realize how much harder and smellier he's making this job? What, is he a masochist?
Zedd was the only one that fully realized what Merlin was doing. Zedd's brother, Thaddicus, used to stink up the stables to avoid listening or talking to Zedd during chores. What Zedd couldn't understand was what made Merlin upset enough to act like that bitter old man.
Kahlan spoke up, "We need to ask you about something you said yesterday."
Merlin grunted noncommittally. What could he have possibly said to provoke them into bothering him?
When Merlin didn't make any comment, Kahlan continued, "You lied about not knowing why magic was banned."
Merlin stopped to give her an impassive look. He then worked more vigorously at stinking up the stables.
"Why?" she pressed.
"I didn't lie. I don't know why magic is banned," Merlin replied. He was sure this had to be another one of their delusions.
"Don't bother lying to me." Kahlan's voice became hard. "I'm a confessor."
"Is that some sort of training to force people to admit to crimes? It doesn't change the fact that I don't know why magic is banned," Merlin insisted coolly. There was know way they could know he was lying. If they did know, they would also have to know the king's secret. That, and a list of other bits of knowledge. If they knew all that, they wouldn't be asking him why because it'd be obvious.
Kahlan gaped in shock. Nobody had ever questioned her ability like that. Before Kahlan could reply, Cara opted for a tactics change.
Cara wipped out her agiel. Her companions gasped. Merlin turned immediately. He took an involuntary step away from her. A cruel smile tugged at Cara's lips. He's nervous, she thought. Good.
"Why is it humming?" Merlin demanded, squaring his shoulders.
Cara would never have expected that reaction. But it didn't matter. He wasn't going to give the answer willingly. His tongue would be loosed soon enough. "You'll find out if you don't tell the truth." She shoved the agiel within a few inches of Merlin.
Merlin scooted away from the strange stick. He had no idea what it was. He was just sure he didn't want it touching him. Merlin lifted his pitchfork defensively. He would try getting out without magic if possible. But, if forced, he'd happily use stronger means, maybe even collapse the stable.
"Cara!" Richard exclaimed, grabbing her arm. Now that he was sure she wasn't bluffing, he had to reign her in. "There is no call for that."
"Maybe he's too scared to tell us anything," Kahlan supplied diplomatically.
Merlin felt off balance. His knuckles turned white as he clutched the pitchfork tighter. Something was wrong. He was missing something about the situation.
"This King Uther does seem to be a dangerous man," Zedd pointed out.
Merlin remained silent. What was going on? The thought that there was more going on than met the eye nudged his mind. No, they were crazy. That had to be the only explanation. He struggled to figure out how to make them leave. He couldn't admit that Uther did indeed scare him. That would only throw fuel into the fire. Maybe he'd use magic to distract them.
"Perhaps you could meet us later. Somewhere more private," Richard offered.
"So you don't have to worry about being overheard," Kahlan finished.
Merlin's heart leaped. Maybe if they thought he would meet them later they'd leave. He didn't have to show up. Maybe they'd ignore him after he stood them up.
Richard proceeded to suggest a secluded part of town. Merlin merely suggested "a better meeting place where the guards won't stumble in." It was outside the city walls and in a place where most people got lost. In fact, it normally took at least a few days for someone to find their way back.
The Legend of the Seeker crew left almost immediately. Merlin looked mournfully at his pitchfork. He had stunk up the stables for nothing. He then smiled. He hadn't even agreed to meet them. Merlin began to vigorously work properly. A moment later, Arthur arrived.
"Get my horse ready," Arthur commanded. He wrinkled his nose. "It smells worse than usual in here. What were you doing?"
"Nothing," Merlin said quickly. He gave his pitchfork a guilty look as he put it aside.
"That," Arthur stated, "is obvious."
The Legend of the Seeker characters left the stables triumphantly. They weren't too far from the stables when they saw the prince strut into the stink hole. Ah, their timing was impeccable, as usual.
They resumed gallivanting about the city. Now, they only occasionally stopped to ask questions. Their main concern was was perfecting their knowledge of the city enough to preform an effective coup.
As the sun sank, the group left the city in search of the meeting place. Merlin was final piece of the plan. Could this go any smoother for them?
After Arthur had ridden off on patrol duty, Merlin headed inside. He was particularly elated about his victory. Now, it was time to wash Arthur's clothes. As he went to gather the accumulated laundry, Merlin saw Gwen, who was apparently working on the same chore for Morgana. He was about to pass her when-
"Merlin," Gwen said
"Yes?" Merlin stopped.
"Those people that were in my house yesterday... I ran into them." She took a deep breath. "They're looking for you."
Merlin grimaced. How many people had they bothered to find him? He found himself hoping he wouldn't end up in the stocks anytime soon. Worse things than potatoes could be thrown. "Yeah, they caught up with me. With any luck, they're lost in the forest."
Gwen's brow furrowed. "Why would I want that? They could get hurt."
Merlin suppressed the desire to smirk. "I think they'll be fine."
Gwen raised her eyebrows in surprise. Merlin shrugged and hurried off.
Before reaching his destination, he saw Morgana. They gave each other icy stares. Merlin made note of anything she could be doing. Just in case.
Midnight. Merlin still hadn't shown. The Legend of the Seeker crew had been waiting on edge for hours. The slightest sound made them jump with hope and fear, hope that Merlin was coming, and fear that they're position might be compromised.
"Do you think..." Kahlan shivered, "he got caught sneaking out?"
"We'll wait a little longer," Richard announced. He didn't want to consider the possibility that the key to their plans was arrested trying to help. It made him feel guilty for even suggesting that they meet. He, Richard, had asked this man to risk his life. It wasn't the first time, nor would it be the last time, that such a risk was necessary. Yet, that didn't make Richard feel any better. "Maybe he's having trouble getting out of the castle," Richard said, more trying to convince himself. Merlin had to make it.
After another hour, Zedd gently placed his hand on Richard's shoulder. "He isn't coming, Richard."
Richard nodded, "I'll take first watch."
The next morning, Richard used his woods guide skills to lead the group back to Camelot. By mid-morning they had resumed bounding about the city. They decided against asking anymore about Merlin. There was no need to raise suspicion. If the poor man was getting executed, they would hear about it and formulate a rescue plan. If not, if he was only imprisoned, they would rescue him during the great coup.
The questions of today searched for any additional information that would help in their plans. Since Merlin was out of the equation, they had to create plan B. Also, they would have to hope that not having Merlin wouldn't exempt them from any pertinent information. Surely, with enough knowledge from the townspeople they would still be successful.
Of course, they were very discreet in their questionings. Again, they didn't want to raise suspicion. They found the most casual ways possible to ask about guard shifts and points of vulnerability. Sadly, they couldn't gather any information. Everyone seemed suddenly busy at the sight of the group. Whenever the group tried to talk with someone, he or she would have an excuse. The group became forced to corner people. To Kahlan's disgust, some even lied their way out. She remained silent, but each lie made her increasingly indignant.
The only people they had managed to talk with were drunk. But, the drunkards had nothing useful to say. All of the topics were uncomfortable. They listened to grown men cry about their dogs and horses that died... several years ago. They would desperately try to change the subject. They would ask about a guard. One man answered, "My poor dog Fifi bit him once... Do you know what that horrible guard did? He kicked him!" The drunk sniffed, "Fifi never moved again." He started to wail, "There was no call for that! Fifi was a good dog! He just had trouble not biting people."
Others would talk about their wives in great detail, in ways that no man in his right mind would. This was infinitely more uncomfortable. If they tried asking about a location, they'd learn about a wild night with the drunk's wife... or with a prostitute... or a night they fantasized about.
As they were talking to the thirteenth drunk of the day, they saw a glorious sight. Guinevere began pumping water across the street. The group hastily thanked the man for his "help" and hustled to Guinevere.
"Hello, Guinevere," Kahlan said cheerily.
Gwen stiffened. Would she ever be rid of them? The part of her swelled that wished they would get lost in the woods like Merlin said. The worst part was that she couldn't flee until she was finished pumping. Then, she wouldn't be able to move quickly. She began pumping more forcefully. Water sprayed everywhere as a result.
"We're sorry to continue bothering you, but-" Kahlan began.
"There you are," the drunk they just left stumbled into their midst. "I wasn't finished telling you about..." He began to expound on a graphic topic.
Gwen and the Legend of the Seeker group cringed. All four misplaced travelers gave Guinevere an apologetic look.
The drunkard continued to give explicit remarks about his personal life. Gwen's pumping became sporadic. She would constantly freeze in horror and then realize that she needed to pump faster.
The drunk finally noticed Gwen and said, "Oh, you have such lovely hair," he slurred. "I wish my wife had curly buttocks like you."
Gwen unconsciously stopped pumping to look down. She then gaped at the drunk.
"But that doesn't matter anymore," he sniffed. "She doesn't like me anymore."
"I wonder why," Cara said sarcastically.
"Cara!" Kahlan admonished.
"I know." The drunk hiccuped. "Nobody knows."
"That's nice. We'll talk later," Richard forced himself to lie. He continued talking to Gwen, "As we were saying, Guinevere-"
"Before she stopped liking me, I met another woman in the lower town. They were so alike except for..." The man commenced on another barrage of unwanted information. He graphically compared and contrasted his wife to a prostitute... more than one... and a few other women. The entire group was grateful whenever the drunk slurred enough to be incomprehensible.
Gwen finally finished filling her bucket. She tried to sneak past the party without being noticed. Then, she retreated as quickly as possible without spilling the water.
"Wait," the old man called after her. Gwen's heart sank as the crazy people caught up to her almost immediately. The drunk staggered closely behind.
"We really do need to speak with you," Kahlan said earnestly. "You work in the royal household, right?"
The drunk somehow managed to catch up and keep up with their pace. He placed his hand Richard's arm. "Now, shweety. I can show you a wonderful time, full of..." The drunk listed even more graphic details from past experiences that he was apparently willing to give Richard.
Richard raised his voice above the drunk's offers, "Since you work in the royal household, you know Prince Arthur?"
"Why would you want him when you could have me, darling?" The drunk demanded.
"We want to know how long all this has been going on," Zedd interjected. They needed to inconspicuously keep on the topic of the planned siege. Since the captain of the guards was now a touchy subject for the drunk, Zedd thought it best to talk about that later.
Gwen wheeled around. She tried to hide her terror by stating, "I have no idea what you're talking about." Did they know about her and Arthur? How could they know? What if they told someone else, and it got around to the king? "I must go now," She added firmly. Gwen sprinted away, not caring that water sloshed out of the bucket.
"Well, that was helpful," Cara snapped sarcastically.
"Why-" Richard began.
"The citadel looks so shiny right now. Shweetheart, I know a place where we can have a better view!" The drunk slurred loudly, trying to purr. "I love you more than I love that place."
Richard had enough! He began to lead the group at a brisk pace through the market. He desperately hoped to shake off the stupid drunk. However, the crowds kept parting at the sight of the Legend of the Seeker heroes. Before they had managed to get far enough away from the drunk, they saw something that made them halt in shock. It was Merlin. He didn't look hurt or scared. In fact, he looked positively thrilled.
Fury washed through Richard. After they had spent an evening worrying about the man, he was fine. They strode toward Merlin.
"Merlin," Richard said sourly. Merlin's smile slipped off his face. "Why didn't you meet us last night?"
"We were very worried about you," Kahlan said softly.
"I never said I would meet you." Merlin pursed his lips.
Before anyone could respond, the drunk caught up with them. "Hey, beautiful, don't move so fast." The drunk grabbed Richard's arm. Richard gently tried to remove the drunk's hand.
Merlin suppressed a snort. The four nuisances had attracted their own unwanted attention. The justice of it all. Not only that, they had attracted a famously annoying drunk. He was known for hitting on anything with two legs... even Gaius once.
"We would like to talk to you," Kahlan said kindly.
"I'm not interested," Merlin replied firmly.
"If you change your mind," Richard said, trying to ignore the drunk's advances, "you know where to find us. It would be-"
"Come on," the drunk begged, "I could show you a good time." He proceeded to be very graphic again.
Merlin was struck with a terribly wonderful idea. "Why don't you stop telling her about it? Just show her!"
The drunk's eyes lit up. He then launched himself at Richard.
"NO!" Richard yelped.
Merlin ran for his life. He didn't stop running until he reached the citadel. Once he got there, he hurried around doing various chores. During this, he ran into Gwen. She looked frustrated.
"Long day?" Merlin asked.
"The crazy people didn't get lost. They cornered me at the well," her voice trembled. "I think they know about me and Arthur."
Merlin nodded. "How did Arthur react?"
"I'm not sure if I should tell him. They haven't done anything. What if they only suspect? Arthur confronting them would only confirm it."
"I see," Merlin said somberly.
Later that evening, Merlin slipped out to confront the crazy people. All of this had to stop. If they tried to blackmail Gwen or Arthur, Merlin would make them pay dearly for it.
As he neared the meeting place, he heard them talking.
"Richard, I don't think that was a deer."
No, we didn't think you'd assume that the first topic of the day was the dresses. We're just psycho. Kudos if you did realize that the topic would be dresses before we said it. Also, credit to Fern for saving and tying together this chapter with the drunkard idea.
Reviews please... :)
