A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for the delay, I had company over last week and didn't have free time to write, edit, and post. First, I wanted to say thank you very much to everyone who left a review, I really appreciate it. Here is chapter 2, I hope you enjoy! I do not own Grey's Anatomy nor am I a medical professional. All situations that appear in this story were researched on the internet. Chapter 3 is already in the works, but be aware that I am going on a weeklong vacation next week, so my internet access may be limited. But more regular weekly updates will come after that. Thank you very much for reading, and let me know what you think.
Alex gulped and shifted uncomfortably, reaching a hand up to loosen his tie. He peered around the room uneasily, taking in the parade of suits and sweater sets that made up the board of directors sitting on around the conference room table. They all faced Robbins, as she walked them through her part of the proposal. She was so freakin' good at it. Robbins was rocking it, and the whole board was soaking her in. Even Jennings had a positive enough expression on his face. More than normal anyway. Alex felt like he didn't belong. Arizona would hate him if he messed this project up for her.
"With the Carter-Madison grant money, we have been able to set up partnerships between the Nambosi Clinic, Seatle Grace Mercy West Hospital, Boston Children's and Great Ormond Street Hospital. To date, we have organized 77 procedures," Robbins tilted her head to one side and used her pointer to click through a few photos in the powerpoint.
She smiled as the faces of their patients flashed on the screen, "As you can see here, we have a few examples of our successes. These are children brought to us through our work at the clinic. Look at all those happy faces...Most of these surgeries would be considered simple, and are taken for granted in the Western world. Appendectomies, cleft pallet procedures, minor hernial repairs. In America, sometimes these would even be out-patient surgeries, but in Malawi there just aren't adequate resources. A lot of the time, medical issues are ignored and left to fester, which causes even minor issues to become life threatening. As we saw with the group Dr. Karev brought over in 2011, this issue is magnified for the most vulnerable of children, like those in Malawi's orphanages."
Glancing down to his foot, Alex realized his shoe was untied. Awesome.
He leaned forward and quickly redid the laces as Arizona continued, "During my time in Africa, I saw first hand what kind of an impact our surgical expertise can have. From my continued correspondence with Dr. Lucy Fields who is currently working at the Nambosi Clinic, I know that our efforts there are making a huge impact. But we can do more. As you know, Pediatric Surgery in general is one of the least accessible and underfunded branches of medicine on the African continent, not just in Malawi."
Alex sat up straighter, looking a little sullen. Here it was. Almost his turn. He sniffed and cracked his knuckles. It must have been a little too loud, because one tight lipped board member in a sweater suit turned around in her seat and gave him a long considering look. His brow furrowed and he gulped, trying to avoid eye contact by fixing his gaze determinedly on Robbins.
"My colleague Dr. Karev, will walk you through the plan we've developed to do more, and to expand our role at Nambosi Clinic," Arizona finished, waving Alex to the front of the room, and handing him the small powerpoint remote.
"Uh," he began, faltering slightly, and clearing his throat. Alex dug in his pocket and pulled out the index cards he'd tucked away and began to read them,"As, uh, as Dr. Robbins has neatly explained...our current um...work in Malawi is helping kids. That's not in dispute. But...looking at these graphs...here, you can see that our current approach is...limited...because of...financial resources. We could, uh...do so much more if we had um, at least a 13% increase in funding-"
Alex paused and winced as he flipped to another slide. His index cards fell from his fingers. Crap. He looked around the conference room. Jennings was yawning. Another suit leaned back in his chair. A few more where glancing at their watches.
"Dr. Karev," Jennings said diplomatically. "We on the board are well aware of the financial undertaking this project requires. Now, we don't deny it is a good cause, but even you have to admit it has the potential to be a monetary shiv. Without a good plan, projects like this can easily hemorrhage money. Our hospital can't afford to do that right now."
The other man's words made Alex feel the anger bubble inside of him. Where the hell did Jennings get off implying that the project would misuse money? But getting pissed off wasn't gonna do much to help their case. Alex took two deep calming breaths and scanned the room. He was losing them. Robbins sat in the front row, looking at him sympathetically. She bit her lip and shook her head almost imperceptibly as Alex bent over to pick up his index cards. 'Just talk' she mouthed, nodding encouragingly.
Just talk? Okay. Alex figured he could do that. He knew the idea inside and out. It was solid. He could pretend this wasn't some big deal presentation. He'd just explain it. He could talk to the board like they were regular people.
"So look," Alex took another deep calming breath. "I'm not here to bullshit you out of your money."
Oh great. Now half the room's eyebrows had reached the stratosphere. Like they'd never heard a curse before. Ooh, Dr. Karev said a dirty word. Whatever. Freakin' suits. Alex gulped and gestured vaguely with his hands.
"I'm talking about making a difference. Here's the thing: The real problem in Malawi and in Africa isn't just that there are sick kids and stuff. There are sick kids, sure, but as Robbins said, a lot of them have relatively curable diseases. The only reason they get bad as they do is because there aren't enough trained surgeons over there to help in time, even with the most minor of procedures. And for a lot of these kids a minor procedure can be a big deal. A huge freakin' deal."
He clicked the button on his remote and advanced through some images of the kids they'd treated, "Being an orphan anywhere basically sucks."
Alex felt a little better when everyone in the room chuckled, so he continued, "You gotta wait and hope that someone will adopt you and love you and whatever...being a sick orphan blows even worse. Who's gonna take a sick kid? The reality is that you are statistically less likely to get adopted if there is something wrong with you. Cuz you're new parents have to pick up the tab. And in Africa? It's tough for anyone to pick up a tab. It's hard. But, for some of these kids a simple surgery is all that stands in the way. Not just for being healthy, but for finding a family too."
The next slide appeared on the screen, showing the hospital staff at Nambosi clinic that Lucy had sent Robbins. Alex felt more confident and continued, "And even though Malawi may have a problem, there is certainly no shortage of people who want to help. If they knew how. The real problem is that there is a shortage of teachers. Trained doctors who can help train others. Even the best medical hospitals in Malawi can't offer the level of medical knowledge we have here at Seattle Grace. Teachers can make our break you."
Alex shrugged and pointed to Robbins, "Good teachers can make all the difference in the world. One did for me. So what am I suggesting we do at Nambosi? Let's see: What is Seattle Grace known for, no matter what? Even when we aren't number one in research or trial projects or patient outcomes. What are we always good at? Teaching. We are a teaching hospital. That's our thing. So, Dr. Robbins and I are suggesting that we help teach."
Larry Jennings leaned forward across the conference room table. He seemed less bored at least, so Alex surged ahead, "It's like...learning to tie your shoes. It's no good if someone else always ties them for you. You want to learn how to tie them yourself. Doctors in Malawi aren't children, and it's patronizing to treat them that way. If we just keep doing these surgeries for them, without sharing the knowledge and resources that would allow them to do it themselves...That's patronizing. There's nothing worse that having someone treat you like that."
He nodded as Robbins began to pass around the paper handouts detailing the plans for their teaching exchange project, "Our proposal would allow us to bring medical students from Malawi here to learn from us, and have some of us go to Africa to begin a strong teaching program over there. You gotta figure that teaching is a chain reaction. The vision for this program would be to eventually create a good enough teaching system so that the simple peds cases don't escalate. So that the doctors there can handle those surgeries themselves, and send the truly severe ones to us. Maybe eventually not even need us at all. Eventually Nambosi Clinic could be the teaching beacon of Malawi, or even of southern Africa."
Okay, Alex realized that the last notion was probably more than a little ambitious, but he figured they outta shoot big or go home, "We already have at least 2 general surgeons, 2 neurosurgeons, 2 plastic surgeons, a trauma surgeon, an orthopedic surgeon and all of our pediatric staff on board and ready to help in some capacity. The chief of surgery has offered his full support. What we really need is the capital to get this project off the ground."
Alex stood up straight and looked each board member in the eye, "This is our shot to make our connection to the Nambosi Clinic more than just some little charity case. We have the opportunity to create a true partnership. A more equal partnership, and I believe it would be in everyone's best interests to do so."
He looked at his shoes, clearing his throat as he fidgeted with his tie, "So uh, think about it, and thank you for your consideration."
Alex quickly shuffled back to his seat, unnerved by the deafening silence that met the end of his speech. Crap, crap, crap. He'd probably put his foot in things somehow. So much for 'just talking'. He was startled when the room erupted sound. It started with a slow clap that eventually accelerated to a more vigorous round of applause. He looked up and exchanged a glance with Robbins. She was beaming.
Jennings cleared his throat as the applause died down, "I have to say the two of you both make a compelling argument. You've certainly given us a lot to consider. I'll admit, in the face of both of your obvious passion and vision for the project, it's hard not t get excited. We're going to deliberate the rest of this week and cast a vote next Tuesday. I will say this: a project like this can only work if there is someone with passion/vision as a stakeholders. Those people are you."
Alex was still too freaked out to really respond, so he ended up just nodding and shaking the guy's hand. And quite a few other people's hands. A bunch of the board members were talking to him about the project and even potential logistics, which Alex figured was a good sign. He wasn't taking much else in. Somehow he and Robbins ended up alone in the hallway out side of the conference room.
"We did our best Karev," Robbins said smiling. "I think it went really well. Jenning's seemed happy enough."
Alex laughed and ran a hand down his cheeks, letting the post presentation adrenaline wash through his body. He reached to Arizona's shoulders and looked her in the eyes, "We have a shot at this don't we?"
She lifted her hands to his shoulders and grinned, "We really do!"
They hopped around in a little circle right there in the freakin' hallway. Squealing for Christ's sake. Probably looked like a bunch of idiots. Whatever. Alex didn't even care. Things had gone better than he expected. Today was an awesome day.
With her fork full of salad, Meredith scanned the cafeteria once again. Catching sight of Alex, she nudged Jackson, "Look, here he comes!"
They watched closely as Alex made his way through the lunch line. News of the presentation and Alex's apparently epic speaking job had spread though the hospital quickly, courtesy of one pride filled Arizona Robbins. She'd told some nurses, who were overheard by the the 2nd year residents, who let slip to Bailey, and the rest was history. Alex Karev's somewhat unorthodox performance before the was fast becoming legendary. And embellished.
Next to her Mara Keaton made a face, "Do stop looking at him! You'll made him uncomfortable."
Looking around the table at Jackson and his girlfriend, Meredith sighed. Sometimes she still found herself surprised to be sitting with the group of friends she had now, as a neuro fellow. It's not like Mara and Jackson and even April were bad. She liked them all pretty well actually. A lot even. They were very nice. But things were never the same as the old days of her residency. Back when she had Cristina, and Izzie, and George. Even Lexie. Now only Alex remained from back then. And Meredith had made new friends, and gotten closer with different people.
But she still felt a lot of nostalgia for the past, and it was nice to know Alex was around. He missed the old days too. And she could at least console herself with the fact that Cristina would be for sure coming back to Seattle Grace next year when she finished her fellowship. Cristina and Owen had decided that, though the distance had helped them, but for the future living in the same city would be ideal. Meredith, for one, was thrilled.
Jackson stuffed a french fry in his mouth, used his foot under the table to push back Alex's chair as he came over to join their table, "Here ya go, Winston Churchill."
"Shut up," Alex moaned as he stalked into his seat and began digging into his burger.
The plastic surgeon only grinned.
"Dude! Shut up already!"
"I didn't say anything else," Jackson looked back and forth between Mara and Meredith. "Did I say something else?"
"Whatever."
Meredith leaned forward and whispered to Alex, "Did you really cuss out the board?"
"No!" he replied indignantly, taking a bite of his burger. Through a mouthful of food he continued, "I didn't cuss anyone out. I only swore once and I used the word correctly."
Avery shook his head, "Unprofessional, man."
"I told them the truth; I wasn't bullshitting them."
Meredith chuckled and shook her head. If Alex was one thing, he was honest, sometimes brutally so. And it certainly hadn't worked against him this time. Swallowing another bite of food Meredith said, "Well, the word on the street is that you kicked ass. Good job, Alex."
His eyes lifted from his plate and Meredith received a grateful smirk. She smiled back. She really was proud of Alex. He was turning out to be a great doctor. Showing up all the rest of them already and he hadn't even finished his fellowship. The sound of a beeper, suddenly had them all checking their pockets, in case it was their pager, cutting the lunch talk short.
Mara shot out of her seat and kissed Jackson, before making her way out of the cafeteria, "That's me. I'll see you tonight. Later everyone..."
"Muah, muah, muah," Alex mocked grimacing humorously and tilting his head from side to side.
Jackson rolled his eyes and scowled at Alex, asking, "And where's April? I thought she had lunch right now."
Meredith ate another mouthful of salad, "I heard the whole trauma team got hung up with a construction accident earlier. That might have held her up. But, as far as I know, that's over with so I don't know where she is..."
Alex shrugged, "Probably with Torres. I told ya her leg hurts."
It sounded like there was more to the whole leg hurting thing than Alex was letting on. April was a little...different at the best of times. Always overly perky and happy. Sometimes irritating, but Meredith had learned to ignore most of that. The earthquake in 2012 had crushed the lower part of Kepner's right leg. The fact that April was perky at all was probably nothing short of amazing. Faced with the same circumstances, Meredith didn't know how resilient she would be. She knew Kepner meant well. And since she'd taken to just letting April be April, their relationship had gotten closer. Lately, her friend had been acting strangely. Even in the elevator this morning April had seemed really preoccupied. Maybe she was just worried about that leg pain might mean she needed another surgery.
Before Meredith could press the issue further, she caught sight of Derek and Bailey heading over to their table. Derek sat down next to Meredith, giving her a quick kiss, as Bailey sat down next to Alex, looking stern but proud. That was another thing that was weird about being an attending. Meredith had to get used to being on almost the same level as her husband and former teacher. Lunch buddies. Well, maybe not that far. Miranda Bailey was always someone to respect. Not exactly a simple lunch buddy.
"Karev, you are an endless surprise," Bailey said slowly.
Alex's skeptical eyes slid her direction, "Is that supposed to be a compliment?"
"You're good in peds," she continued, nodding to herself. "You're good."
Meredith was happy for her friend. His reputation as an attending was quite different from the one he'd developed as a resident. Actually they all were beginning to form new impressions from the other attendings. Independent of their residencies, mistakes they made during that time, their mentors, and even (for herself and Jackson) of family legacies. They were standing on their own.
Derek reached across the table and grabbed a few of Alex's french fries.
"Hey!" Alex glared and pulled his plate closer to his chest.
Meredith snorted as her husband asked the same question she had, "I heard you cussed out Larry Jennings."
Alex grumbled and rolled his eyes, "Cut it out. All of you."
April grunted and struggled to pull the band tight around the top of her left arm. She had to use her teeth and her other hand. It was a heck of a lot easier setting up a patient for a blood draw then it was for yourself. But despite the difficulty, April was single mindedly determined to conduct a blood test. She needed to take a blood test.
"Yes," she whispered in triumph when the band was finally tight around her arm.
April was determined to find out what an hCG blood test would say, because that would be the only was she could be sure, absolutely sure, that the three pregnancy tests she'd borrowed from the clinic were true. Well, technically she'd stolen the tests, but it was a free clinic afterall. And April planned to make up for it somehow. But those tests had all come back positive. Each time.
Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant.
Unbelievable. At least, it still felt that way. April realized was probably in denial, unable to accept the evidence right in front of her. So, as soon as she had had her lunch break she'd stolen away to this lab to do a blood test. Because a part of her still couldn't comprehend it all. And urine tests weren't 100% accurate. It was still possible to get false positives. Granted 3 times in a row...
Oh God.
April felt her breathing increase as her mind spun into a panic. Her hand started to shake. Okay. She just needed to calm down and take the test. Get it over with. She flexed the fingers on her tingling left arm and reached for the needle to do the blood draw.
A blood test would give April more evidence. The best evidence. It was the most accurate test of pregnancy you could possibly have. An hCG level test would not only tell her, inarguabely and irrefutably that she was pregnant, pregnant, pregnant, but it would also tell her her hormone levels and approximately how far along she was. Which April hoped would give her more information. And more information meant she'd accept it all, right? And then she'd be able to figure out a plan.
A plan on how to tell Alex. Maybe reschedule the wedding. To deal with becoming a parent. On how to handle everything. A plan for the rest of her life. April struggled. It was hard to find a vein on your own self.
"April Kepner, you better not be shooting up right now! I could prescribe pain killers if you're really having that much of a problem..."
She jumped, startling at the sound of Callie's stern voice, and hissed as she poked herself and missed the vein. Damn it.
"I...W-what? No! I'm not-" April blinked, looking up to the that the orthopedic attending surgeon. Callie stood in the doorway of the deserted lab, with her arms crossed and her head tilted to one side. She held herself with more grace and confidence than April figured she would ever have. It was always something she secretly envied about Torres, especially during moments of distress. Like now. Hold up in an empty lab, hunched on a stool, trying to stick a needle in her arm. April knew she was a mess.
April cleared her throat and tried to control her wavering voice, wincing at how awkward she felt, "Uh, what are you doing here?"
Callie moved closer, easily walking over to April and standing by her side, "A little bird told Arizona that your leg's been acting up. Said you were going to come find me on your break, but I have a gap between surgeries so I figured I'd find you first. What are you doing here?"
When April failed to respond immediately, Callie raised her eyebrows and gestured to her arm. She realized her mouth was hanging open like a fish. April really had no idea where to begin.
"Uh-I was just, um," she fumbled, before flushing and ducking her head. "I'm taking a blood test."
The dark haired doctor pulled up another stool and sat down next to April, "I can see that...you know that we have lab techs who do this right?"
April shrugged and Callie looked at the lab supplies April had prepared for running the blood test, frowning, "An hCG test? Want to tell me what's going on?"
April didn't meant to do it. She didn't mean to tell Callie anything. Because really, if all of this was true, and her mind was slowly beginning to comprehend that it was...she was really pregnant and she though that Alex should be the first person she told.
But she opened her mouth and a whole cascade of words tumbled out, "Well see, lately, every now and again, I get sick...usually in the mornings, but other times too. And at first I thought it was food. Because, actually, the first time it happened was after we went to that Blue Sushi down on Mercer? The one with the conveyor belt, you know? And you can grab whatever looks good, and I had like four plates, and the tempura was awesome, but I don't usually do sushi so I wasn't really surprised I got sick. But then it's been happening even when I don't eat strange foods."
Tilting her head from side to side, April's gaze fell to her aching leg, "Also my knee started to cramp, probably from kneeling, and that might not even a symptom, but I'm not sure. And then I'm really late, but that's not completely unusual either because my cycle always gets messed up when I am stressed...and I started the pill and that can mess up your cycle too...so I didn't think I could be, but I was sick again this morning so I just thought I'd check and be sure. So I stole tests from the clinic and they came back positive, but those can be wrong and blood tests are more accurate so-"
"April? April!" Callie held up a hand and pursed her lips, looking mildly irritated, "Kepner...can you just slow down? Stay calm. Are you...could you be...?"
A smile played on her lips and she raised her eyebrows in a silent question.
April stopped short in her ramblings and stared straight ahead. Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes she said, "I think...I think I am pregnant."
There. She'd said it. Out loud. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes. She didn't know if they were scared tears or happy tears. Probably both.
"Hold on, just what have you done? You've taken a urine test?"
"Three."
"Three?" Callie asked evenly. "All positive?"
April bit her lip and nodded, "But blood tests are more accurate so..."
"That's true," the dark haired doctor conceded. "But the odds of three regular tests being wrong are pretty slim. I'd say you'd be safe to book an appointment with OB to get this test done."
Quickly shaking her head, April grabbed the blood draw needle again and prepared to to the test, "No! They share a floor with peds! And you know how the nurses talk up there, and-and if Alex found out and then it was a false positive I'd feel terrible...and if it's true i don't want him hearing it from the gossip train. This way I can find out sooner...one way or another."
Callie swallowed and tried to hide her reaction. This was so not a false positive. She knew it was stupid, but April just wanted to be as certain as humanly possible before she fully accepted the fact she was pregnant.
"Okay, okay, calm down. Take a breath," Callie reached forward and took the needle from April's uncertain hands. "How about I help you out then? We can run the blood here. I'll wait with you. "
April nodded quietly and allowed Torres to carefully draw the needed blood. They set up the test parameters using the lab's tools and began to run the test. She felt the panic welling up in her chest again, and felt irrationally glad that Callie was there. Though she knew that the other doctor probably thought she was crazy. Dr. Torres had never exactly hidden the fact that April sometimes got on her nerves. While they waited, Callie offered to give April's leg a quick check and it was all she could do to keep still and quiet, while the other doctor poked and prodded her knee.
The short wait was agonizing. But when the time came, it was almost too much for April to read the results. She stared blankly and sat frozen on the stool, unable to bring herself to read the test conclusions. Callie sat nearby, her eyes flicking almost impatiently between April and the blood test readouts. Tentatively, she reached across and lifted the analysis from the lab table.
"Do you want me to...?"
Nodding, April gulped and stared at her hands as she tightly clasped them in her lap. She carefully lifted her gaze and watched the other doctor carefully read the blood analysis. Callie's brow furrowed and she quickly scanned the results.
"Fourth test's the charm unfortunately...you are definitely pregnant. All the indicators are there," she said finally, pointing to a few lines of the test. "11 or 12 weeks according to your chorionic gonadotropin levels..."
April sighed feeling slightly numb. 12 weeks. Her mind raced back to August and she vaguely remembered a lovely though sloppy evening spent with Alex on the couch in the heat of late summer. A broken AC had driven them to the only room with a really useful fan. And that was that, she supposed. Pregnant. Those first three tests had been right.
"I take it this isn't exactly planned?" Callie asked in response to her non-reaction.
April shrugged and shook her head, inexplicably laughing, "No."
"You guys think you'll...uh keep it, right?"
"Oh, of course!" No question there. Not for April. None.
April's mind was a jumbled mess of two completely conflicting emotions. On the one hand se was overcome with fear. She was scared. Terrified actually. More scared than she could ever remember feeling. Worse than facing down a gunman. Worse than being trapped in an earthquake. April was going to be a mother. She knew she was very much the 'Type A' personality. She'd never done very well with situations that were out of her control. And this one had just sprung up on her.
But there was another part of herself that was elated, and filled with joy. April had always wanted to have a family. When she was little she'd played dolls with her sisters and pretended they were real, and named them and all of that. Her own family was large, so April had always assumed that she'd end up with a big family too. But then her post high school dating woes, medical school, and her injury had made the dream fade somewhat. Until she'd started dating Alex. Until now.
"Well," the orthopedic surgeon continued, ignoring the fact that April was completely lost in thought. "It actually explains a lot about your leg. There's nothing wrong with the apparatus, just the ware pattern. Your center of balance is probably already starting to shift, which puts different stresses on the knee. I can help with pain management until after you deliver...and then we'll probably have to revisit surgery sometime after that to realign some things but don't worry..."
Now it was all more than a dream. More than some distant hope. This was a real thing. Had already been a real thing for about 2 months. Somewhere inside of April, cells containing half of her DNA and half of Alex's were multiplying and dividing. Growing into a baby. Her baby. And whatever fears she had, April suddenly realized that she loved this tiny little person more than she could ever have imagined was possible even just a few short moments before. It was like a light switch. April went from feeling nothing more than fear to feeling consumed by her love for her unborn child.
Callie was still talking, "You should schedule something with OB...I used Dr. Fields mostly, but a few times I saw Dr. McCaw, and he was pretty good..."
She suddenly burst into full fledged tears, burying her face in her hands and rocking forward on her stool. Callie reached over and patted April's back comfortingly.
"This just got really really real," April said, smiling slightly, and whipping her eyes. "I have no idea how to tell Alex. I mean, we never really thought...I thought we'd plan this. I thought we'd be ready."
"Yeah," Callie agreed. "I know what that feels like...but don't get overwhelmed. Becoming a parent is..." she shook her head. "One of the most terrifying biggest life changes you can ever experience. But it's also one of the best. Your kid is your kid, and the universe sends them to you when they are supposed to be sent. It'll work out. Arizona, Mark, and I never believed it could at first, but now it's all okay. We're happy, and Sofia is happy. You will be too. You'll figure it out. Congratulations."
You'll figure it out. You will. You'll figure it out.
The phrase kept April going as she coasted throughout the rest of her day. She still didn't have a plan, or anything really, but her spirits were stragnely high throughout the rest of her shift. Well, why shouldn't she be happy? She'd just found out she was going to have a baby. She was allowed to be happy about it. Her already perky demeanor was even more pronounced as she worked with injured patients, other, more cranky, attendings, and overly competitive residents. But, as the end of the day drew closer and closer, April's elation began to be laced with more and more panic.
April loved Alex, more than he knew, and she was probably better at understanding him than most people, but she could never be quite sure how he would respond to new things. And this was a big thing. His moods could still be unpredictable, though April thought that they were very much linked to his own personal confidence. If Alex was feeling good about himself, he'd just be surprised, but he probably wouldn't freak out. If his day had been crappy...April didn't know how he'd respond.
Having a child was definitely something that would throw him for a loop. His own family life had only just started to get better. Alex's father had abused his wife and children and had eventually left after Alex had stood up to him. All three Karev kids had spent years in the foster care system. Alex's mother and brother Aaron had mental disorders. Aaron was institutionalized. Amber had been a mildly troubled teen, but had managed to turn it around and was settling in nicely at UW Seattle. Much of what Alex had learned about family would probably make him afraid of having his own. April knew his deepest darkest fear was that he would turn into his father. She knew that would never happen, but she also knew that Alex didn't believe that.
At the end of the work day, Alex met April in the locker room and seemed to be in the best of spirits. Quickly changing into her street clothes, April eyed him carefully, and speaking as calmly as possible,"How'd it go today? I heard the board is really interested. Dr. Bailey said you did really well."
Alex smirked as they walked to the car, "It went okay, I guess. I didn't get kicked out." He tossed his lapcoat into his locker and turned to face her. "Missed you at lunch. You see Callie about your leg?"
April could tell that Alex was downplaying how things had gone. Alex didn't like to play up his own accomplishments, but he did seem proud enough today.
"Yeah," April squeaked, trying to hide her emotions, and not reveal what had really transpired. "She...she said I need to use my cane m-more." That wasn't a lie. Not really.
"I know you hate it, but that's not so bad, April."
She smiled slightly, "No. It isn't." Not bad at all. He didn't even know just how not bad it was.
Walking to the car, they chatted pleasantly, though April felt a little bit awkward. She wrung her hands in her lap after she got into the car. Alex began driving them home and returned to the subject of the Malawi Project, "Robbins thinks we have a real shot..."
"She does? That's good."
April knew she should probably wait to tell Alex she was pregnant. Plan some clever elaborate reveal. Stick a positive pregnancy test somewhere he'd find it. Or hide a pair of baby shoes inside his favorite sneakers. Or something. It was a big deal, a momentous occasion, so it should get something big, right? Then again she'd found out after rather unceremoniously peeing on three sticks and having a friend test her blood. Should Alex get anything better?
April had never been good at keeping secrets. So she wasn't really surprised when she just blurted it out, without intending to. In hindsight April realized she actually probably should have waited until they were home.
They pulled onto the I-5 freeway and Alex continued to speak, while April listened distractedly,"Yeah, maybe if it all goes well, I might be spending several months next summer in Africa, setting the program up. One of the board members...uh, Mimi Bullit I think...some rich old lady, she offered to pick up the travel expenses for me, if the grants get approved. Said she'd pay for all the participating doctors actually. Who has that much freaking money anyway? Whatever, at least she's doing good stuff with it."
He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, "You could come too. We wouldn't have to work the whole time. We'd check out Africa! Sort of like a could both make a go of it. How would next summer in Nambosi sound?"
"Impossible," April replied truthfully. If she was 11 or 12 weeks pregnant that meant that she was due in May. Next summer, they would have a small baby to take care of. So, next summer in Africa was out of the question. At least for April, but probably Alex too.
"Okay, I get you being nervous or whatever about going over there with your leg, but it'd be fine, I'm sure. Nambosi could really use us and-"
"It's not my leg," April interrupted, letting her thoughts spill out loud. "It's the baby."
The car slowed as Alex's head snapped to the right, "The what? What are you talking about?"
Oops. April's eyes widened as she realized she'd spoken aloud. Well, so much for figuring something special out. She realized she had to explain as simply as she could, "Uh, I'm...I'm pregnant."
"Seriously? You're freakin' serious?"
"Yeah," April fumbled. "I found out today. I thought maybe...since I've been late, and sick and-so I took some tests...and I'm about 12 weeks..."
Alex swallowed harshly and took a deep breath and turned his focus back on the road, so all April could see of his face was his profile. Her heart sank as she saw his eyes brows lower and his jaw tighten. His knuckles where white on the steering wheel. He wasn't saying anything and April wasn't sure what he was thinking. Damn it. She shouldn't have just blindsided him like that. She felt guilty.
"Alex?"
Flicking the blinker on, Alex suddenly guided the car into the far right lane and exited onto a side street. April was confused because the neighborhood was nowhere near theirs. She glanced out the window anxiously as Alex drove the car into a grocery car lot and parked. He was still silent and they sat in the car quietly as April's panic increased. She'd screwed this up royally. She felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes and she held her head in her hands again as she waited for Alex to speak. Why didn't he say something? Anything. He wasn't even looking at her.
"Say something. Please?"
April felt sick as the silence between them felt like an eternity, before Alex slowly turned to face her and reached over and touched her shoulder with a surprisingly gently hand.
"You shouldn't freakin' pull stuff like that when I'm driving!" he said sharply, though the soft expression on his face and the humor in his eyes put April more at ease.
She let out a shuddering breath as Alex continued, wincing as he gestured to her midsection, "Especially now, I guess. My kid's in there. Jesus."
April laughed through her tears. Alex was surprised. This whole thing wasn't something he'd seen coming. It would definitely mess up Alex's vision for the Malawi project. And he may not be entirely happy, but he didn't seem angry about the baby per say. Or at least, she didn't think so. He was just afraid he'd have gotten them in an accident. That was perfectly understandable. She knew she'd probably could have handled the whole thing better if she had just kept her big mouth shut. And the way he'd said 'my kid'? Well, that had made something inside April click. It had made her believe Callie's words. Alex was on board if he was already thinking about 'his kid'.
"I thought the pill was supposed to prevent stuff like this..."
"Nothing is 100%."
"Clearly," Alex smirked and took her hand, "No match for Karev swimmers."
April rolled her eyes and he shrugged, "Whatever."
They'd figure something out. They would.
Alex gulped and ran his hand down April's back, "You happy about this?"
"I think I am. I'm really happy."
