"You better shut up or I'll kick your ass!"

"You can't even reach my ass!"

Naruto eyed his drink, it was mostly empty, and by the time that he finished his drink Tayuya had downed at least four, maybe more depending on who she was with. And from the sounds of it, she was drinking with the best worst person in the world: Sakura.

Tayuya took to alcohol like a fish to water, despite her size she didn't really get drunk, in that she didn't make any worse choices than she did when sober. She was just slightly louder, and a lot hornier. So while the current situation was entirely her fault, she wasn't completely blameless. Mostly because she knew how Sakura got with just an ounce of beer in her sister and absolutely loved to argue with his best-female-friend.

"Oh big deal! You're six inches taller than me! Do you know what's bigger than six inches?" Tayuya's shouts were loud and clear devoid of slurrs. There was a pause as she no doubt downed another beer. "My dick! That you're going to suck!"

Kiba, nearly spat up the drink he had been nursing for the past hour. Despite the tough guy persona Kiba tried to maintain, everybody knew that he liked his drinks fruity as fuck. Everybody got tired of calling him out on it thought. "Aren't you going to go deal with that?"

He shrugged, finishing off his drink. Tayuya wasn't dumb enough or drunk enough to actually get in a fight with Sakura, and even if they did get in a scrape Tayuya could hold her own. Among the bar scene, she held the rare title of 'I gave Sakura a black eye and walked away from it.'

"You don't have a dick!"

"Wanna prove it?"

"I'm done anyways," He knocked a knuckle on the table and stood, more than a little disappointed that he wasn't drunk. Still, he was probably going to get laid tonight if he handled this right. Not that Tayuya needed to be drunk for that. He nodded to his friends smiling. "Kiba, Shikamaru thanks for the drinks."

Shikamaru grunted in acknowledgment.

Few of his friends understood his relationship with Tayuya, fewer still approved of it, but he wasn't really the best at listening to people, but the important friends, Shikamaru, Sasuke, even Sakura despite the fact that she hated herself for admitting it, thought that their relationship was a good thing.

Tayuya didn't give a shit, she was just happy - well happy was a relative term - with their relationship and so was he. That's what really mattered.

He hummed walking over to where the girls were drinking, it was closer to a fight ring as they gathered around Sakura and his small angry girlfriend bickering with each other.

"At least I don't have to climb onto the counter to reach the top shelf!" Sakura slurred, poking Tayuya in the forehead.

"You got six inches on me! I got three cup sizes on you!" Tayuya stuck out her chest, jostling her breasts in Sakura's vague direction.

"You're a C-cup, you can't even do math!"

"Yea, and you're a no cup! You flat chested slut! I don't look like a little boy with a fat ass when I'm naked!"

Okay, time to go home. He locked eyes with Sakura, doing his best to apologize with a smile and a shrug as he could. She turned to glower into her drink, face red from a mixture of embarrassment and anger.

He picked Tayuya up, placing her on his shoulder. She began to protest instantly. Legs kicking hands beating on his back.

"What the hell! Naruto! You bastard! Put me down! I'm not done pissing flaty off!" She didn't stop hitting him, but they weren't at full strength, more just protest for the sake of protest. She'd never admit it, but she liked it when he did this.

"Nope, It's time to go home." He smiled nodding goodbye to the other girls. The crushes he had one most of them was now a distant memory.

"Like hell, it is you bastard!" She screamed into his back. It was a scene many of the people here had seen before and would likely see again.

He hummed pushing out the door. "We can cuddle on the couch, watch a shitty movie. And I'll even suck your dick."

She didn't actually have a dick.

"As long as its something boring enough that we don't have to pay attention to it, but not boring enough that we fall asleep." She stopped fighting content with being a very sexy potato sack on his shoulder.

He didn't love Tayuya because she got along well with her friends.