Song: "Eskimo Boy," Strange Talk

xxx

Craig sat on his beat-up couch for a long time, staring off into space at the load screen of his video game. The last thing he needed right now was a close call like that. What would he have done if she'd come home just a few minutes earlier? Or if he hadn't heard her? Not that he would have cared much, seeing as he didn't expect his mom to do anything about it, but it would have scared Tweek off permanently. The needy squeaking of Rosie jerked him out of his reverie.

He walked to her cage, which took up a decent portion of his small room.

"What?" he asked her. "Something you'd like to say?"

She looked up at him and wrinkled her nose.

"I know I'm an idiot," he told her. "But you love me anyway, right?" He scratched her head, and she made happy muffled noises.

He sighed and picked up the plates they'd left behind to wash. Odd- that wasn't like him. Usually Tweek ended up conspicuously cleaning his room or kitchen while Craig wasn't looking.

Inside the kitchen, he glimpsed his mother finish off a glass of wine, phone still pressed to one ear with her shoulder as she shifted through the mail. He cleaned his dishes and started in on the stack from breakfast while she finished her phone call and poured a second glass.

Craig started stacking plates in the dishwasher, and tried to glance at what his mother was reading. He had a bad feeling about the stack of bills. Things had been rough lately since his father was laid off after the mattress factory shut-down, but Craig felt the breath of fresh air at the end of the tunnel had to be coming soon. His dad's new trucking license was due in the mail any day now.

"What's for dinner?" he asked.

She heaved a sigh. "You're a big boy now, Craig. You can figure it out as well as me."

He turned around to flip her off with a soapy hand.

"Save it," she said, smirking. "I need you to pick Ruby up from soccer."

Craig turned the water off.

"But my math homework-"

"I thought you did that already with your friend?" When he didn't answer her, she smirked. "That's what I thought."

"Fine," he grumbled.

Shoving his hat on, Craig grabbed his mom's keys and left. He wasn't that upset, really. He'd never admit it, but he kind of liked picking Ruby up. The driving part, at least. There was always a moment, a few blocks from the soccer fields when the interstate entrance came into view, when Craig imagined just taking it, just driving and driving and never returning to this shitty town. Not that he could. He was stuck, just like his parents, his high school, and the rest of the fat fucks stuck in South Park.

He parked the Subaru at the back of the parking lot, where the other parents would be less likely to notice him. Ruby would see him. He leaned back in the seat, stretching his long legs until Ruby appeared at the window, still flushed, carrying her soccer bag.

She tapped on the window impatiently when the door didn't open. Craig stuck his tongue out at her, trying to hide his smile. She flipped him off but he unlocked the door anyway.

"Asshole," she said, throwing herself into the passenger seat.

"What. I let you in."

"Ha. Right. I'm just lucky you're not busy smoking pot with your butt buddy."

He frowned at her, and pulled onto the main street, cutting off no less than three irate soccer moms hoping to make a left turn.

"Language. Geez."

"So he is your butt buddy then? Cause I called it."

"No- Christ, no. What?" It wasn't his fault that Tweek was the only decent person to hang out with in South Park. He was just lucky he'd realized it before high school disappeared entirely.

"Where did you pick up such foul language."

"You? Dad?"

"Right, well. I don't think those middle school boys are so good for you."

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. Craig smirked. Eighth grade was a good look for her.

"Not sure why else you'd be making so many gay jokes. Or ass jokes. And that language..."

"Okay, whatever," Ruby said. "I can see through you. And when you admit to what's going on up there, I'll admit to last weekend with Michael."

Craig gagged, pretended to vomit. "God, Ruby! Gross."

She laughed maniacally, but made him macaroni for dinner later as penance. Craig watched her, holding Rosie so she could "help."

Much later that night, Craig laid awake staring at his ceiling. He'd woken up in a sweaty mess some twenty minutes ago and now refused to glance at the blinking alarm clock beside his bed, which he knew read something like three AM. He'd had a vivid dream- nightmare- starting out nice enough, if fucking weird, and ending as they usually did in a hazily-imagined monster biting his head off. That wasn't the part that kept him up. The warm, fluttering feeling of Tweek's pulse was now, apparently, haunting his dreams.