"But Hermione!" Harry whined indignantly, looking up at his friend with puppy-dog eyes. "I'm not gay, I swear!"
Hermione rolled her eyes in return. "Well, what else am I supposed to think, Harry? You and Draco Malfoy together, holding hands- really, at least you have good taste though-"
"Hermione!" Ron interjected, looking hurt. "He's a little ferret, you can't say that-"
"A ferret," Hermione cut in, "with astoundingly good looks, Ronald."
"And blonde hair!" Harry said innocently, feeling rather foolish. All in all, he was just remembering what a good joke it had been. The school was still in an uproar, hours and hours later; no one seemed to be interested in letting it go, or believing them.
It just figures, Harry thought. They don't believe me about Voldemort, but they'll believe I'm gay!
Almost as if hearing his thoughts, Hermione gave Harry a look and said, "Well, really Harry, you do like to make yourself look… pretty."
Ron's face turned to one of horror as he looked between Harry and Hermione incredulously. Harry's face mirrored Ron's, but had an added evil little smirk that really made him look… well, evil.
"Being pretty isn't a sin!" Harry exclaimed triumphantly, sounding proud of himself; but then again, maybe it was just his ego shooting off.
"Of course it isn't," another smooth voice cut in, and Hermione and Ron turned with trepidation to find Draco Malfoy standing casually behind them. The look on his face was relaxed and amused at the same time; Hermione couldn't help wondering how he was so good at showing emotion on his face, but really not revealing anything. It was talent, to be sure.
"Hey, Drake," Harry commented absently, staring off into space. He was brought back down to Earth when Hermione's exclamation startled him.
"See, Harry?! That's what we're talking about! Stuff like that! 'Drake'! What is that?"
"A nickname?" Draco offered, grinning uncharacteristically. "Ever heard of it, Granger?"
Hermione shook her head exasperatedly at the Slytherin, before turning back to Harry. "You're not even friends, Harry! Please help me, because I don't understand!"
Hearing the whine in her voice and realizing his friend was very close to having a mental breakdown from lack of information, Harry took pity on her and said, "Look, Hermione. Draco and I have been friends for… what, a few months now, right?" He asked, turning to the blonde. At Draco's nod of affirmation, he continued.
"He's really not that bad- he's not the arrogant little ferret we thought he was," Harry said offhandedly. Draco made a sound of indignation at that, and Ron just smirked in his little corner; Harry ignored them both, still talking.
"We planned the joke. We thought it would be hilariously funny- and most of all, we even hoped that Snape would get in the middle of it. It made it so much better!"
Draco and Harry both started laughing uproariously, and Ron and Hermione just stared at each other in both wonder and confusion. What had happened to them?
--
"Okay, what are we going to do?" Harry asked quietly, looking at his friend. "Nobody believes us." They were back in the same empty classroom they had escaped to after the escapade in the Great Hall.
Draco sighed for a minute, before looking up, his eyes brightening. "I know!" He exclaimed. "We just need another plan- oh, and I know the perfect person to help us!"
Dashing out of the classroom before Harry could even register what was happening, he was gone. Harry sighed, before grinning and following the other boy out. This probably wouldn't be good.
They ended up in the dungeons, standing outside Snape's office door. Harry turned to Draco, his eyebrows raised in disbelief.
"Snape?!" He exclaimed, looking shocked. "You think he's going to help us?"
Draco looked rather evil right now, Harry considered, before starting listening to what the boy was saying.
"-Of course he's going to help us, even if he's insanely angry at us right now- I mean, Snape's always up for making fools of other people, right? This is the perfect opportunity," Draco said, grinning.
Harry suddenly understood, but he still looked doubtfully at Draco. "Do I get to keep my hair this time?" he asked sadly, sounding very much like a three-year-old who had just been scolded. Draco rolled his eyes.
"Oh, get over yourself Harry, your hair is ugly anyway."
The resounding slap that came as a response to that comment echoed through the corridor, and did not go unnoticed by Professor Snape, who heard it from inside his office.
Slamming the door open, he was greeted with the sight of two teenage boys, one blonde and one raven-haired, giving each other death glares. It was a rather amusing sight. However, being the cruel person that he was, he had to be mean.
That's just the way it went.
"Do I dare ask what you two are doing?" Snape said loudly, giving his own death glares to the two students. They immediately shrunk back and stared at him in terror.
It took awhile, but Draco finally worked up the nerve to speak. "W-We came to ask your help, sir," he said quietly, looking up at his professor. Before Snape could interrupt with some retort, he continued.
"You see, what we did this morning- that was just a joke, it really was," Draco finished hastily, looking at the floor. Next to him, Harry nodded anxiously, trying hard to reinforce Draco's statement.
"But nobody will believe us," Draco said sadly. "We really aren't gay- it was just funny-"
The look on Snape's face was almost just as priceless as the one they had witnessed in the Great Hall. It was a mixture of incredulity, amazement, and anger that really made for an awesome facial expression. Harry couldn't control his giggles, and that was his first mistake.
Snape turned to Harry, his face angry now. "What's so funny, Potter?" He roared. Harry's smirk quickly disappeared from his face.
"N-Nothing, sir," he said. "So will you help us? We thought you would like it, because all the students, and teachers, probably, are going to feel like fools once we're done."
That argument was enough. Letting the two boys regretfully into his office, they began coming up with a plan.
--
Everything was carefully planned out. Draco and Harry rose early that morning, along with Ron and Hermione; they had been let in on the plan, simply for the reason that it was easier that way.
They all arrived in the Great Hall at about the same time. The large room was still quite empty, allowing Harry to nod over to Draco a confirmation that everything was going as planned. Up at the staff table, Snape also was watching the two boys. As much as he disliked the trouble they seemed to constantly find themselves in, they both really were rather brilliant.
They didn't have to wait long for an acceptable number of people to fill the Great Hall. It was then that their plan began.
Draco and Harry stalked towards one another once again, meeting in the middle of the room, just as they had the day before. They had both been just about to start shouting- and the whole crowd was watching in silence once again- when Snape suddenly interrupted, before any words could be exchanged.
"Mr. Potter, Mr. Malfoy," he said smoothly, arriving behind them in a flurry of his black cloak. "Here to make another school disruption, I assume?" His voice was laced with as much contempt and disdain as possible, and Draco and Harry both visibly winced at the sound of it.
"No, sir," Draco said firmly. "We were just talking-"
"Talking?" Snape interrupted. "In the middle of the Great Hall, when you know everyone will be watching you? I find that rather unnecessary."
"Well," Harry tried this time, "We just thought-"
"Did you not think we would all discover what it was we needed to 'find out,' as it was so eloquently put yesterday?" Snape queried. "It's rather obvious, isn't it?"
"What is it, Professor?" One of the braver students from the audience piped up. One glare from Snape shut him up quickly.
"Yes, what is it?" Snape said fluidly, looking at the two in front of him carefully. "Oh, pray tell. Is it that you're-"
"WE AREN'T GAY!"Draco and Harry yelled together at the top of their lungs. Their voice echoed off the top rafters of the hall, and all the way out into the corridors; some of the ghosts at the top of the castle shuddered from the sound of it.
"Oh, you aren't?" Snape said, quirking an eyebrow. "Are you sure? Well, then, I suppose there is one way to test it-"
Before either boy could react, Snape reached out and had grabbed both of their heads by their hair. The whole crowd gasped- what was happening? Apparently, those two weren't gay, no matter what had happened yesterday- but what exactly was Snape doing?
It didn't take long for them to get an answer. Holding their heads tightly, Snape began pulling them closer together, so close that their lips might meet- and the room seemed to be holding their breaths, as they watched both boys struggle against their teacher's grasp to get away from one another, but they couldn't-
And just at the last moment, one of the boys (it was rather unclear which) seemed to remember that he still had control of a wand. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled it out and whispered a spell in the last seconds before their lips touched. Snape was thrown backwards, and Harry and Draco both fell to the floor.
The room was still silent as everyone strained their necks to see exactly what had happened. Draco and Harry were both still sprawled on the floor, awkwardly looking at one another with varying degrees of disgust. Snape was just getting up, and he was the one everyone was interested in, waiting for his reaction.
They were all surprised when he just turned around to stare at the two on the floor exasperatedly. "Well," he said loudly, "I suppose you really aren't gay, then."
--
I decided to make a second part of this, due to all my wonderful reviewers for the first chapters! I might even keep going, but I'm not sure. Let me know what you think of this. I know it isn't quite as good, and the convincing that they aren't gay isn't that wonderful, but I thought it was amusing! Please excuse Snape if he's slightly OOC :)
This was not meant to offend anyone – It's all in good fun. :D
Please review!
