My thanks to Sylvain for the beta work.

Truths and Consequences

Epilogue

For a little while there, I froze, and I was accepting of what was going to happen to me, of what I thought was going to happen to me. Then that numbness, that feeling of helplessness was replaced by something else... a sense of annoyance, of disbelief. I don't want to die, I'm not ready to die.

Strange how so many thoughts can go through your mind in such a short time. In a fraction of a second, I remembered all the times when death seemed the only answer, the only escape, the only way I would know peace of mind. I really had wanted to die during those dark times; everything had looked so bleak and impossible.

But it's different now, I want to live. I want tomorrow to come. I have so much to live for, someone to share my life with, and I have a good life. I'm happy with Ed, settled. I didn't go through all that hell for nothing, I didn't win that war of emotions just to succumb now. I'm finally on top of things and I'm not prepared to let it all end here, not like this, not in such a way. I'm not going to just disappear, I'm not going to be buried like some animal in an unmarked grave. My family is not going to be left wondering where I am or what happened to me, and Ed's not going to be left doubting my love for him.

I wish I had told him I loved him more often, I wish those three words had come as easy to me as they did to him. I wish I hadn't taken off without telling him, I wish I'd got to say goodbye. Goodbye! No! No, I've got to stop thinking like that, it's not over yet. I just need to get my act together, pull myself together. I need to think, I need to concentrate on the here and now...

I've been so lost in thought I haven't heard what Cameron's been saying to me, I've watched his lips move but his words were drowned out by the voice in my head.

I meet his gaze, it's fixed on me, his eyes are empty, there's no emotion, no warmth there, another shiver runs up and down my spine. Has he retreated so far into himself that he really doesn't know what he's doing? He has to be insane, he has to be.

He's just revealed the worst of secrets any man could keep. Those secrets have to have tormented him, haunted him, and that's why he's here now, that's why he was standing over Alex's makeshift grave and talking to himself.

Guilt is a terrible burden to bear, I know, I carried it around with me for the longest time, but it wasn't mine to own and when I finally realised that, a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Cameron's never going to know such relief, such peace of mind, he really has taken a life, two lives. And now he wants to add to his already impossible burden.

My mind's wandering again but there are so many thoughts going round in my head, so many questions. I've found myself in a living nightmare and I want the answer as to why.

How did Cameron get the better of Carl? The better of Alex? Both were handy with their fists, and neither of them lacked nerve or courage. I don't understand it, I just know Cameron's not going to get the better of me.

He's a desperate man, some would say a sick man! But I have no pity for him, just a growing sense of anger towards him, and for once I need that anger, I need it to get me through this.

I know I have to get away, I have to get away from him, I have to tell someone what he's done, I have to stop him killing someone else, and he will, I know he will. I have to warn people, they have to warn the police. My mum, she needs to know, she needs to know the truth even if the truth is going to break her, destroy her. I knew he'd hurt her, but this... how is she going to move on from this?

It stops here, it stops now... but do I fight him, try to overpower him or do I just run? I can take him, I'm sure I can, but then that look in his eyes scares me...

What a time to dither! My life depends on this... which is why I have to make the right choice. I'm handy with my fists, a fearless scrapper, but something tells me I don't stand a chance against him, not the way he is now, cold and calculating.

I start to back away again, my legs still trembling beneath me. His expression changes, his face hardening further still, he knows what I'm about to do and he's ready for it, probably more ready than I am.

"Alex tried to run, too."

His words leave me shaken, rooted to the spot, I can only look at him; I know there's no point in reasoning with him, he's beyond reason now. I just need something...

My phone starts to ring again, it's just the distraction I need. As Cameron turns to look at it, I turn on my heels and start to run. I tell myself I'm younger than he is, fitter, that he's a physical wreck compared to me. But I stumble through the undergrowth, I feel like I'm wading through water, through mud, my legs, they're so heavy, so stiff. The ground beneath me is uneven, treacherous, I can't lose my footing here, I have to keep upright, I have to keep going no matter what.

I know these woods pretty well, better than he does, and as I'm running I suddenly realise I'm running in the wrong direction! I'm going ever further into the woods, not out of them! I swerve to the left, start making for where I'm certain there's a road, but what if I'm wrong?

I can hear him behind me, he's panting, air-hungry, but so am I. My lungs are burning, protesting just like my heart is, it's thundering in my chest, exertion and fear making it work overtime, it feels like it's about to burst.

I start to think about Ed, I desperately want to see him again, hold him, and feel his arms around me. I want to know that feeling of being wanted, needed, and loved. Thoughts of him fuel my flight, put wings on my feet and finally I break through the trees, into the open, into a small field. I know where I am now, and that help isn't all that far away.

There's a stone wall up ahead, I clamber over it easily enough, but I land badly on the other side. A searing pain tells me I've twisted, maybe even broken my ankle, but somehow I keep going, every step now agony.

I wanted to get to the village, I wanted to get where I knew I'd be safe. I don't think I can make it that far now, not even with the devil on my tail… and he's still there, I know he is, I can't hear him, but I sense him, I sense his eyes on me.

Uncle Zak's place isn't all that far now, I've decided to make for there. Pollard's is nearby and so is the factory. I tell myself if I can just get there, everything will be alright… but I've slowed right down, I'm just hobbling along now, dragging my all-but-useless foot… the pain is unbearable.

I'm on the home stretch, just another few hundred yards and…

There's someone by the door… no, no, it can't be!

I can't believe my eyes, I can't believe he's here… that he's come all this way.

It's Ed! He's come looking for me! Now that he's seen me, he's already running in my direction.

It's over… I'm safe now.

End.