Phantom in the Spring
Disclaimer: general disclaimer applies.
Part Two: Drifting Petals, Fanning Flames
One tap.
Two taps.
Three taps.
I blinked my eyes open groggily to see a white ceiling.
Four taps.
"Sakura-chan…She's dead."
Five taps.
I sat up instantly and immediately doubled over in pain, gasping and clutching my shoulder where my injuries burned alive. I looked down to see bandages covering the upper half of my body, layered on the severe wound in my left shoulder.
'Where…' My eyes darted around the white tiled room of what had to be in a hospital, scanning the ropes on my wrist and lower feet that bound me to the hospital bed. They were long enough so I could fully stretch out my arms. '…is Sakura?'
My gaze settled on the slouching form of Kakashi who was leaning up against the opposite wall of the tiny hospital room, his foot tapping a sixth time before it stilled against the flat wall.
"You're awake," Kakashi said simply, not moving from his position on the wall near the door. I tried to ease my breathing but it quickened just as fast when all of yesterday – or how long ago? – came flooding back to me.
"Where is Sakura?" I ordered, staining to keep my voice apathetic.
The silver-haired jounin closed his one visible eye, "We told you when we found you two days ago. Sakura…is dead." Kakashi moved his gaze upwards as I saw him tense, "She was killed on a mission."
I felt a distant pounding thud in my ears as I just stared at him numbly in disbelief. 'A mission? Killed on a mission…? But…Sakura was…she was…'
Human, the brutally logical side of me implored, and humans die.
She's dead.
I fisted my hands in the blankets covering me. It…wasn't supposed to happen this way.
She was supposed to be alive when I killed him.
She was…Sakura was…
A distant sound of tearing cloth.
Gone.
"Sasuke," I started at Kakashi's voice and looked down at my hands to see the white hospital blanket ripped in two.
I un-fisted my hands that I noticed were unsteady – if Sakura was dead…then… I lifted my shaking hands to my head and squeezed my eyes shut against the aching memories of that night. Of that stolen moment.
'Sakura is dead,' I thought to myself, 'I nearly killed her once myself. I would have. And now she really is gone. Kakashi says so.'
"Who…?" I pulled on my raven hair at my scalp to try to distract me from the sudden burst of too many memories, too many emotions, and too many weaknesses that should have not existed.
Kakashi was beside my bedside now, "We don't know. She just vanished four and a half months ago without a trace. Her mission had been a solo B-rank one but we couldn't find any evidence as to what could have happened anywhere. We've tried everything from tracking her scent to the Byakugan," Kakashi sighed, "It isn't like Sakura to run away, especially from her duties. It was later concluded that she was either abducted or KIA."
I tugged harder at the coarse hair on my scalp when I remembered how Sakura had run her fingers through it that night, "So…there is no body…"
"In a ninja's death, there rarely is."
A long period of silence permeated through the hospital room as my mind's eye flashed through images of Sakura.
'Gone. She's gone.'
My hands slid from my scalp and fell to my sides lifelessly.
But I wanted to…it was supposed…
… "Sasuke-kun… I love you with all my heart!"…
She's dead.
… "I want to help you, please let me"…
If she was gone, then she wasn't here anymore.
… "I must, and if I can't find you then my heart will"…
She was far, far away. 'Like you wanted, like you needed, right?'
I ignored the distant buildup of pressure coiling around the base of my neck like a long cord growing and growing…
"Sakura's gone," I whispered out loud.
The cord snapped and released.
"Sasuke!" Kakashi shouted as I hollered in pain and bended over, yanking on my restraints as the curse seal exploded and released as it spread like a black fire, consuming, enveloping…
I immediately started on reflex to push it back before I stilled, not even hearing Kakashi as he frantically said something.
It was emptying, like a vacuum taking everything away…far, far away – even the numbness of the stunned disbelief, even the blur of pinks and greens that made the room whirl and spin on end.
I dimly watched as the skin on my arms became littered with the black marks of my curse seal and saw the pale skin become dark, tinting…swallowing….falling…
'…does it matter of I lose myself now? Itachi is dead. She is dead.'
The moment I stole that night with Sakura won't continue. The moment won't turn into minutes…it won't lengthen and push forward.
It'll stand still. Alone. Always alone.
I left her alone…that night.
She died alone.
She was even laid to rest alone.
…Sakura…
She didn't want that. She said she wanted to find me.
But I'm as lost now as I was before. Sakura isn't here to find me this time like she did that night. This one time…I…I wanted…
To be found. By her.
Only her.
Suddenly a slam came down hard on the back on my neck as I grunted in pain, my vision cracking for a moment. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as I fell back on the hospital bed. I saw Kakashi hover over me with a wary look on his masked face as people in medic uniforms flooded into the room beside him.
The effort of me keeping my eyes open was staring to drain me. '…who cares anyway?' My heavy lids slid shut.
…but what did I see that day? I had thought she was there…
"I'll die when spring dies."
"Sasuke-kun."
Wh…what?
"…Sasuke-kun…"
…Sakura?
I blearily blinked my eyes open and tried to push myself up but realized I couldn't, I looked down to see myself bound in a sort of straightjacket. The roped binds from before were gone.
"Sasuke-kun."
My eyes shot open all way at that distant whisper and my head turned sideways to see…
"Sakura." I whispered, half croaking as I saw her standing there in that same white dress.
I focused on her, on how her pink hair and green eyes were gazing down at me with quiet emotion, on how she just stood there by my bedside with such grace and…lead formed heavily in my gut.
She had no substance.
Just like before, I realized, when I followed her into the clearing. The edges of her body were again blurred and hazy. Her eyes seemed deeper than usual, as if her soul in all its essence stared right through those jade windows.
I struggled to move, to touch her, to do anything but I was tied too tightly, limiting my movement. And so, I just stared at her. I tried to say something, anything, but I couldn't.
I didn't want to know. If I didn't know the answer than I could just pretend...
"I'll die when spring dies." Sakura's whispery soft voice almost floated by on a gentle breeze, my eyes softened at the sight of her and I wondered if this was a dream.
If this was, then my subconscious is something I wish I could kill.
My mouth parted as I closed my eyes and opened them cautiously to still see her standing there. I let out a deep breath when I could see the closed door behind Sakura – right through her.
"A hallucination," I stated lowly, gazing at her with the now known fact that I had gone insane. Evidence of something that had probably happened a long time ago.
Sakura shook her head as my eyes widened, watching her small movement. My arms cramped with the need to reach out and the ever contrasting need of not wanting to know.
"…Sakura…please don't be dead…"
I had said those words before I could even decode their meaning. Logic and reason were things of the past.
She gave me that small smile again, "I'll die when spring dies."
Goosebumps arose on my skin, "Why do you keep saying that?"
Her figure flickered in and out of existence; her eyes were the only thing that remained constant. My eyesight was edging away from me again, for some reason it blurred and I had the notion that it looked like I had my eyes open under water.
I didn't want to know.
"Sasuke-kun…"
"Are you real?" I forced out against my better judgment, "Are you…really there?" I wonder what's more illogical – being insane and of course not knowing it, or realizing that you are insane.
Sakura shook her head, "No, I'm not real…" She breezily answered.
I swallowed, "But you're not a hallucination, either." She nodded once more as I felt the ground drop from under me. 'It can't be…' My eyesight worsened and split, bleeding red into the cracks as I squeezed them shut.
"…Shh..." Sakura whispered, raising her hand and clasping it to her see-through chest. I watched her as she laid her hand over the area where her heart was suppose to be.
I finally spoke what I didn't want to know, "…Are you a ghost?" I lowered my eyes at my subdued, hoarse sounding question. A tremor ran down my spine and shook my body, shuddering as an unknown pressure built its way like a dam in my chest.
When I was able to, I lifted my eyes to see Sakura with that sad, sorrowful smile on her pretty face.
"…no."
My eyes widened as her answer rang in my head like a death toll.
"N-no? You're…not dead?" I asked, bypassing thoughts of insanity for notions of a bitter hope.
"I'll die when spring dies." The ghost-like form of Sakura repeated.
What does that mean? She will die when spring dies…die? She can't die if she's already dead.
'She's alive.'
I struggled once more to sit up and found myself still as bound as ever in the straightjacket, I growled under my breath, keeping my eyes trained on Sakura.
'…how do I know I'm not imaging this?' How do I know I haven't lost my mind? Even so, unbidden waves of relief I couldn't subdue crashed through me, making me take deep, shaky breaths to calm myself to a measure of ironic sanity.
"…How?" I asked, hating how weakly it came out, "How do I know I'm not hallucinating? Sakura… I don't want you to be…so I could just be…"
Imagining you there, my mind finished. Wanting you to be standing there so much my mind actually conjured up the exact image of you. Hell knows my psyche is damaged enough to do so, my nightmares are enough proof of that.
But if she was a nightmare – no, not a nightmare, a dream – then did I really want to wake up? If she was than it was because I wanted it to be so. Did I really want to wake up and find myself lying down in a hospital bed while Sakura was lying dead somewhere…?
I clenched my fists and tried to restrain my racing thoughts from marching any farther. Sakura had a solemn expression on her paler than normal face. She lifted her hand from her chest and I followed its movements as it rose above my head and inched downwards.
It dropped downer and downer till it was a mere inch away from my forehead.
"Sasuke-kun…" Sakura called, moving her hand so her index and middle fingers barely traced my forehead from my brow to the area in-between my eyes. It left a cool tingle in its path as I shivered, keeping my eyes locked on Sakura's.
'It's real.' It's not a hallucination. Nothing could be that vivid. That real. I had felt it.
"Who?" I demanded suddenly, regretfully making Sakura withdraw her hand back to her, "Who did this to you?!" My eyes took on a red tint, "What did they do to you – how is it possible?!"
Whoever responsible for putting Sakura in this wayward state would soon die. That was certain. No, it was simply a fact.
The thirst for revenge coated my senses, familiar and thriving in my avenger's soul, if I still had a soul at this point.
Sakura said nothing once more, fading in and out dangerously before gaining enough substance so that I could see a resigned look on her face.
The door burst open, "If you don't remember, you damn ANBU, he was in Team 7! And so was I! Also, you should respect the next Hokage! Remember that!"
Naruto slammed the door shut behind him as the fifteen year old Kyubbi container walked over sullenly to my bedside in long, determined strides.
"I have a few things I want to say to you," Naruto declared, not nearly as loud as he would have been in the past.
"Actually, I have a lot of things I want to say to you, Sasuke. But before I do, do you know what happened yesterday when your curse seal activated and you passed out?" Naruto questioned tersely, pulling the wooden chair in the corner forward and sitting on it.
He was actually now sitting right near where Sakura was standing.
He can't see her.
Why? Why only me?
She is real…she had to be…
At my silence, Naruto gritted his teeth, "Orochimaru's mark nearly consumed you, and if Kakashi hadn't used a temporary holding seal you would have torn through the hospital in that second stage of yours!"
That made sense, I suppose. "Hn…" I grunted, wondering how I was supposed to explain all of this and knowing I had to. What else was I to do? Let Sakura wander around in that apparition existence?
I sighed as I could see Naruto's temper flare, "And – you haven't said a word! Kakashi told me your curse seal released when he told you about Sakura's death – but you haven't even…showed any reaction! Don't you CARE?! Do you know how happy she was when we found out you had left and killed Orochimaru?!"
Naruto stood and shook his head, "Do you have any idea now much she cared about you?" He roared, "And to her memory your just lying there – don't you have ANYTHING to say?!" Naruto shouted, breathing heavily as he bowed his head to his chest.
"…when we found you in the clearing, we were tracking down Akatsuki, thinking they might have had a hand in Sakura-chan's disappearance. She had a hand in killing Sasori and they might have used her to lure me…
But Kakashi didn't believe that because he said they would have already made contact. We even thought you might know where Sakura-chan was but we found you half-dead." His head lowered even more, "…ANBU patrol found Itachi's dead body a two day walk from where we found you. You really did achieve your revenge."
At my silence, he laughed bitterly. "Sakura-chan… I made her a lifetime promise, you know. I promised her I'd bring you back home…" Naruto dropped into the chair again, holding his head in his heads.
"…it's not fair. Sakura-chan loved you. Really loved you," I looked away from him intently, "and now she's dead and you don't even look fazed." Naruto's shoulders started shaking.
I tried to turn myself away from Naruto and his words, not wanting to hear them. "…she always waited," Naruto continued, "she was so sure she'd find you…"
I saw Sakura's phantom figure by the window now and my throat tightened.
"…She was what held Team 7 together. Heh, she was the link, wasn't she?"
"Shut up."
"…at a time, during the chunnin exam, when you grabbed her hand to keep her from disqualifying you from the preliminary matches – I was half sure you had a crush on her."
I stilled, "Be quiet." I said lowly.
"You said, 'Not even you, Sakura.' I actually thought long and hard about it. It was the way you said it, I guess."
"Naruto…" I started, turning back towards him. "Just shut up."
When sad blue eyes met cold black they flared as he shot up from his seat again and grabbed the front of my white straightjacket. "You deserve to die for what you did! Don't tell me to shut up – I may not know the whole story with you and Sakura-chan but I do know that when we saw you for the first time in three years at that damn sound base, you tried to kill her!
I was there! And, the last time, she told us she saw you again – and I know you hurt her because even though she was smiling it was that damned sad one!" Naruto let out a growl of frustration, "I freaking HATE you for not caring! How could you not?! Sakura-chan… she practically waited her whole life for you!"
He shook me roughly as he continued, "And you never looked back at her – not once! She loved you and you don't give a shit - !"
I threw my head back and slammed my forehead against his so hard he groaned in pain and went flying back, dropping me back into a sitting position on the bed.
"SHUT UP! For the last time – don't talk about things you don't know!" I yelled back, angry and defensive.
Naruto's hand was rubbing his forehead as he stilled and looked out the window, suddenly very calm. After a while, he said, "Your right, teme, I don't know what happened. I don't know what exactly you felt in your cursed mind for Sakura-chan or what she was to you…"
My teammate of three years ago looked back at me, "But I do know that obviously," Naruto's blue eyes burned into mine, "It wasn't enough." He spat, "If it was, you would have been there when she disappeared. You would have been there when she was announced KIA after five months of turning the world upside down searching for her. You would be there today when Kakashi carved her name into the memorial stone."
Tears ran down Naruto's face as he turned around and headed for the door, "I've said what I came here to."
Sakura was gazing wistfully at Naruto before she turned back to me, dulling in and out before brightening again.
Naruto's hand was already on the doorknob when I finally called out, "Matte, Naruto."
Naruto stiffened and slowly turned his head back to me, "I don't feel like talking to you right now."
'Right now' he says, like he still intends to later. I mentally sighed. Naruto was a fool.
Brushing those thoughts aside, I knew I had to tell him about Sakura – about what I knew.
"It's about Sakura." I stated tonelessly.
The blond ninja tensed and after a moment turned around, "What?" he whispered, sounding very tired.
Not knowing what else to say or how to phrase it, I went with the obvious, "She's standing right beside you."
A pregnant silence filtered through the hospital room as exhausted blue eyes gazed at me.
"Say something like that again…" Naruto broke off, "And I will kill you. I let it go before at the clearing because you were nearly dead and raving – but I won't stand for you dishonoring Sakura-chan's memory like that."
I continued to stare at Naruto dead in the eye, "I'm serious."
Naruto's eyes narrowed as his face contorted into one of anger, "What the hell are you going on about?! Are you -,"
"Sakura is alive," I said, cutting him off. "I don't know how or why but she is." I implored, narrowing my own gaze at him.
The next thing I knew, Naruto had grabbed my throat and started choking me, "Are you saying that Sound took her? That you DID have something to do with it?! You did, didn't you? – WHERE IS SHE?!" He yelled, shaking me as I choked and rasped.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Sakura come to stand beside Naruto, he green eyes shining with distress. Next thing I knew I was already shouting, "I don't know! All I do know is that she's standing right there but she's not real! She's alive somewhere but now she's not real!"
Naruto's eyes had widened when I began shouting at him. With a stare I couldn't read in his eyes he dropped his hands from my throat and took a step back.
"You're serious," Naruto whispered, shaking his head in disbelief.
"I said I was," I snapped, feeling an utter frustration surge through me once more because I couldn't move an inch.
Naruto's eyes looked wary now, "You yelled. You never raise your voice unless… You must think you really see her…. In the clearing you did look startled but…"
I sneered at the way Naruto's mind was working, "I'm not insane." I growled in warning. Never mind the fact that I had been in doubt of that presumption moments ago.
"And you don't even know it," Naruto concluded, "God, what did they do to you in Sound? Or – maybe it's just your conscience… then again, that's hardly believable…"
"Shut up, dobe!" I snapped angrily, "I'm not mad, I'm not losing my mind – I'm telling you the truth."
"What do you mean you haven't lost your mind?!" Naruto waved his hand to the area beside him – near Sakura – "You think you can see Sakura-chan's ghost! Or really see her!"
"Listen Naruto…" I began as Naruto glared.
"Why should I?"
"Because I can't do anything tied up like this! Listen… I don't know why you can't see her as well and I'm well aware of how stupid this sounds – but Sakura keeps mentioning how she'll 'die when spring dies'. I'm guessing that means when winter starts she'll literally die – but I'm not sure."
"Why the hell are you even saying this?!" Naruto hollered as I just frowned at him, "Say you can see," His voice faltered, "Sakura-chan's ghost-,"
"She's not dead-,"
"-Whatever! Why the hell would you want to help her? You've always hated her, haven't you? You've cut all the bonds between us and all that! What, now that your brother's dead we suddenly matter?!"
I paused and stared at Naruto for a long, tense minute.
What could I say? He was right, even though my mind found that simple thought distasteful. My gaze automatically shifted to Sakura and I knew my answer.
"Because, like you said Naruto, she's still smiling sadly… and she doesn't deserve to anymore." I saw that Naruto had followed my gaze to Sakura, even though he couldn't see her.
"I did shatter all my bonds with Kakashi and you…and especially Sakura. And, a part of me does…" I stilled, not being able to say anymore of that particular thought.
"During our gennin days as Team 7…" I continued lowly, "I was nearly convinced. It was so close. But, in the end, all I could do was follow my path. And now that he's dead… I don't know."
I stared at Naruto again, "I don't know, Naruto. All I do know is that you're wrong…I didn't hate Sakura...not really…"
Naruto inhaled in a sharp breath.
"- those are reasons that I won't talk about. I hated you too, at first, but you did eventually become the closest thing I had to…a friend. So you know, Naruto. You know…" I tersely forced out.
Naruto's lost blue eyes stared at me.
"Would I lie about this? Have I ever acted like this? Do you really think I would make this up?"
The fox boy's eyes lowered to the floor.
"Or do you think I'm just insane?" I deadpanned, nodding to my straightjacket. "I suppose the visual matches my words, doesn't it?"
Naruto sank back into the wooden hospital chair, his head in his hands once more as the filling quiet echoed noiselessly inside the room.
I moved my gaze away from him to Sakura who moved to stand beside Naruto's chair, as if to provide some comfort. I waited quietly as the minutes ticked by, until at least thirty of them had passed when Naruto's half whisper sliced into the silence.
"Prove it."
I glanced over to Naruto only to see his blond spikes covering his eyes.
"If I'm going to consider this…prove it." Naruto said again, resolute.
I stared at him mutely before focusing my full attention on Sakura. The Sakura phantom just stood there silently and after a few second went by Naruto looked up, "Well? Don't you have any proof? Say something that only Sakura would know!"
I glared at him, "It's not that easy." I said as Naruto crossed his arms.
"Why?" He demanded as I rolled my eyes and turned back to Sakura.
"Can you say something?" I asked listlessly, trying to prompt her to say something, anything that would get the dumb moron to believe me.
Naruto glanced at the spot I was talking to and shifted uneasily.
"…he…told me his secret once…" She breathed sounding even further away, "…Naruto likes…feelings for…a girl named Hinata…"
Her form wavered and completely went out for a second – I had stiffened in alarm – but, then she slowly started to come back, much duller and less dense than before.
"Dammit, Naruto." I swore, now not taking my eye off her for a second as Naruto jumped at my reaction, "She faded. I think it hurts her to talk too much… or it drains her energy."
Naruto looked thoughtful, his eyes darting between me and where 'Sakura' was supposed to be, "What did she…?"
I just shrugged, "Something about you liking some girl named Hinata," I narrowed my eyes. "Is she talking about the Hyuga?"
Naruto's eyes were wide with shock, "NANI?! How do you know those things?!"
I just stared at him blankly, "The whole point was to -,"
"I never told anyone but Sakura-chan that! Nobody!" The kyubbi container gasped. "Where is she?!" He jumped off his seat wildly, waving his hands around cautiously. "Is she here? Or here? How is she?"
I tensed as one of Naruto's waving arms nearly went right through her, "Oi! Watch it before you hit her, dobe." Sakura wore a light smile on her lips, her eyes on Naruto.
Naruto stopped, "Oh, gomen." Then he blinked and pointed a finger at me, "Why do you only get to see Sakura-chan?! What's up with that?!"
I sighed with annoyance, "I don't know. Like I said before she can't talk that much."
Naruto's nose wrinkled, "Can you blame her? Who'd want to talk to you?"
"Dobe," I muttered under my breath, "We need to figure out how she got this way."
Suddenly Naruto visibly paled, "Teme," he whispered, "what if you're talking to Sakura-chan's ghost?"
I shook my head, "She already confirmed to me she was still alive."
"How?"
"Never mind that. Listen, like I said before, she keeps repeating 'I'll die when spring dies.' Obviously, she can't die if she's already dead. She's alive."
"Spring…what does that mean? Winter starts in week, right?" Naruto's eyes became alarmed, "Does that mean she'll die in a week?!"
"Maybe," I concluded, "As I said, Sakura can't say much without draining or fading away. But, she could show me where she is. The only reason I crashed into you and Kakashi in that clearing is because I thought I was following Sakura. So she could lead me to where she is…physically."
"But who did this to her? This is weird! No, not even weird! STRANGE! I mean," Naruto's eyes watered, "You don't know how…relived…" He regained his composure, wiping his eyes with his black sleeve. "Can you ask her who did this?"
"I was trying when you came in."
"Oh," Naruto mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Aa," I sounded emotionlessly, lazily making sure my gaze was focused on the blurry image of Sakura.
"…but what are we going to do about finding her anyway? After you heal a bit, you're supposed to go on trial! A trial that could take ages because of all the politics and crap you did! How are we suppose to find her, then? And in a week!"
" . . ." I looked to him seriously, "Break me out then. I'll escape and return with Sakura."
"…! What?! Are you crazy – I can't do that! I'll be killed and Tsunade - !"
"-Sakura will die if you don't."
At my acid remark Naruto looked like he'd been slapped across the face.
"Let…let me talk to Kakashi! He'll help – I know he will!" Naruto exclaimed.
"Do you really think Kakashi will believe all this?" I asked skeptically, "He'll only believe it's a ploy I created to escape the death penalty or imprisonment."
Naruto sighed, "Well…maybe." He affirmed reluctantly, "But we can at least try! Kakashi cares a lot about Sakura-chan – you don't even know the lengths he went to try and find her!"
I remained silent, thinking it over, "If anything, then we should at least come up with a plan if he doesn't believe us. Or me, in general."
"He should! Sakura-chan can just say something only he told her!"
"He knows I had contact with her a while back though. What if he thinks it's all scripted?" I asked flatly.
"No."
I started and stared at Sakura again who suddenly spoke up, "No?"
Naruto blinked and growled in frustration, "Argh, what's she saying? I want to see Sakura-chan!"
"Shut up, dobe." I retorted, waiting for Sakura to speak again.
"I'll die when spring dies."
"Yes…" I continued, "What does that mean? Come on, Sakura."
I knew after this that I would never tell Sakura to shut up ever again. Even if her constant chatter in the past was annoying, her silence was even worse.
She whispered something so weak I could barely catch it when I strained my ears to listen, "…get Kakashi… I'll convince…he listens, he will…understand."
"And if he doesn't believe us then we're struck, Sakura. What if he thinks it's a trick?" I said in a slightly irritated tone as Sakura just shook her head.
"I think we should listen to Sakura-chan!" Naruto spoke out, having been quiet before so I could speak to Sakura. "Besides, Kakashi'll know what to do about Sakura-chan's…condition."
Naruto shrugged, "He knows over a thousand jutsu's, right? Maybe he'll know this one." He explained.
At Sakura's nod, I closed my eyes in resignation.
"Fine," I stared down Naruto, "You have…" I trailed off in consideration, "two days to convince him." I finished, watching Sakura for any reaction to my proposal.
She gave none.
"Hey! What about you?! I'm going to need your help, you know!" Naruto protested.
I scoffed, "Kakashi will never believe me, Naruto – don't be foolish."
Naruto frowned in thought and sighed, "…fine." He muttered, shaking his head. "But I might make him talk to you anyways!"
With a huff, the Kyubbi container turned slightly to his right and gave a thumbs-up to the empty space where Sakura resided.
"No worries, Sakura-chan!" Naruto declared with his signature fox grin, a determined look making itself clear in his blue eyes, "We'll bring you back! That's a promise!"
Sakura beamed at him in response, bright smile lighting up her pale face.
With a firm nod in that direction, he turned to me – "That is where she's standing, right?"
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at Naruto's lack of assurance after such a declaration.
"Dobe."
After trying to interrogate Sakura again and again about who had done this to her, I finally relented to her ethereal silence. She didn't say a word or give any reaction at all. Maybe she didn't want to waste her energy on such a thing (I had earlier finally confirmed with her that speaking did indeed drain her) right now, but I was still undeterred of its necessity.
Besides, when Sakura is back in her body I'll kill whoever is responsible for doing such a thing.
'Why even do it in the first place?' To torture her? My body went cold at that thought as red rage slammed through me. If that was the case, then the person who did this would suffer greatly.
I would make sure of it.
But that still didn't explain another matter – why was I able to see her and not anyone else? When I had asked her a little while after Naruto left she had simply smiled, not exactly an answer but not wanting to weaken her, I let the subject drop.
"Can you tell me where you are, Sakura?" I deadpanned, my pitch black eyes tracing her now expected hazy outline.
In response to our agreement beforehand (or signals really) that any question that she couldn't nod or shake her head as an answer to she would try to empathize with her see-through hands.
At this question Sakura pointed to the window, to me, and then to herself. She shook her head side to side in a clear 'no.'
"Do you mean the only way to get to you is me following you there?" I guessed, hating the constant game of charades when I just wanted to hear her speak again.
She gave a small nod and I sighed. Of course that'd be the only way. I stared at Sakura who took a step closer to my bedside and tilted her head as she lifted her right hand and waved. There was a hesitant look on her white face as moonlight beamed right through her.
I frowned at her disposition and, noting the waving gesture, got a bit nervous.
"What's that suppose to mean?" I asked sharply as Sakura gave me that pained smile again. She tucked her hands to the side of her face in a sighing, sleepy manner and closed her eyes before peeking at me behind her eyelashes, watching to see if I understood her meaning.
"Are you saying your tired?" I asked blandly, stopping myself from automatically trying to straighten as Sakura's phantom form nodded happily.
"Bu – but…" I stiffened as Sakura's glowing eyes stared down at me. I forced myself not to look away and it wasn't hard, considering that I'd been watching her the whole day.
In doing so a lot of things had been made clear to me. Sakura, even a see-through one, was very…
I closed my eyes as I recalled that night and allowed myself to relive it for a second – to remember how she had felt underneath me, how beautiful she looked and how her delicate fingers traced up and down my back while her breathy whispers made me want her more and more…
I opened my eyes again, knowing that instead of dwelling on that night I should be confronting her about it instead.
"I…need to talk to you, Sakura." I said, still and resolute.
Sakura pointed to her mouth and shook her head.
"No – not talk, I mean I need you to listen to me," I responded quickly and with more impatience than I wanted as Sakura's bright green eyes widened.
I balled my fists, my nails cutting into my palms, "It's about that night." I said quietly, trying to filter a message through my empty sounding voice. Old habits were hard to break.
Especially since I had already lost so much of myself to the curse seal - I was aware of that and even though I knew I couldn't regain any of it back I accepted it quite easily. It was pretty hard to miss what you don't feel or care about anyway.
Besides, it made the things that mattered stand out more anyway, for better or for worse. I still had my Team 7 memories and even though I didn't give a shit about any other people in the damn village or the village itself other than the former, I didn't see how it mattered much. I still felt hatred, I still felt anger – but only guilt about one or two select things.
My conscience was probably obliterated during my days in Oto but I still felt the crushing burden of my clan's death, and right now I felt…
Sakura just stood there and waited for me to speak as she looked down at her blurry feet.
"Look at me," I breathed slowly, "I know I shouldn't be asking things of you but…" I broke off as emerald eyes slowly met mine once again.
"That night…it was wrong of me to – no. I took advantage of you and your weakness and your feelings… and used them for my own selfish reasons. That I won't deny," I said lowly, feeling my chest tighten as her pained eyes dimmed sadder, "but I don't regret it, Sakura. At that time, it felt like that moment was…"
I paused and said, "That night… Sakura, I…"
'Come closer,' my mind begged desperately. 'Just a bit nearer.' Remind me you're real and come closer… She might have heard my thoughts because she floated next to my head again as she leaned down slightly so we were face to face, a mere three inches away.
My hands burned to touch her as my eyes trained on her ghost-like state. She did not breathe, she did not blink, and she was there and not there at the same time. My throat went dry at the sight of her deep, spirited eyes but I forced myself to finish what I had started to say.
"…I didn't want to leave."
Her eyes softened as she gazed down at me, pink strands falling to frame around her misty face, the locks of pink would have been a breath away from my cheek if she had physically been there.
My admission had been an exposure for me, one even I couldn't completely hide as everything caught up to me. I just stared at her, waiting for her to speak this time. If she would.
"But you did."
I stilled, stunned with her distant answer as the door to my room slid open with a thud.
I ignored the doorway as ANBU filed in, opting to try to say something to Sakura who was steadily backing away from me as she waved again, nudging to the window once more.
"Uchiha Sasuke, we have orders to remove you from the hospital upon your release tomorrow and transport you to the Konoha prison where you will await a trail before Hokage-sama and the Counsel…"
I paid no attention to the rambling ANBU as my eyes were locked on Sakura, "Wait," I said, struggling anew against my straightjacket. "When will you be back… you are coming…back, you are – right?" I said, loud enough so that the ANBU stopped his tirade of a speech to stare at me curiously.
With a nod, Sakura wisped away and vanished, slowly fading out of existence until she was no more.
My panic overwhelmed now that I could no longer see her, "Sakura…" I muttered as my heart started pounding furiously. The ANBU began reporting to me again at my sudden silence, and I did not miss the look he threw his companions.
'She's gone again. But she'll be back, right? She made it like she was going to rest or something…'
'She better be back.' I tuned out the sounds of the ANBU leaving as I clenched my jaw, remembering her last words - "But you did."
I bowed my head into my chest as my raven bangs fell over my eyes. I knew what I was going to do. It had been a plan for a long time, anyway.
'I'll give it to her…to Sakura. I need to.'
But first… I need to find her.
A/N:
Thank all of you so much for the positive responses! You don't even KNOW how happy it made me. Okay, what I didn't mention before it that this story will only have four parts to it – good for some, bad for others. Sorry if you don't like that but really with the amount of pages in every chapter it's pretty long anyways, ne?
Part 3 will be out ASAP. PLEASE REVIEW! I was actually sketchy about this chapter. Meh. SASUSAKU forever! Yay for my favorite pairing! Well anyway, please be sure to review!
Spaz
