Heero: What's happening to me...

Quatre: I don't know, but, Heero, you know were always here to help you.

Heero walked off into the house


They can't help you...You know what you are, why don't you stop hiding, and stop trying to forget your past, stop running away Heero Yuy! You kill, and like it, you keep trying to deny the facts, why?

No, thats not true...Its not true....Heero lashed out, firing a round into nowhere.

Uhn....Heero...

What? Heero shook his head, waking from his daytime nightmare. His vision focused....Only to see a face....

Relena: I'm sorry...For whatever i've done...Heero..

Heero: R...R...Relena...What...What have I done?! Relena!!

He clasped the lifeless body to his chest....He tried to cry...Nothing happened...This cant be real!!

Aren't you happy? Now that she's out of your way, you can continue living, killing without thought, not having her blurring your focus. You can do any__

Shut up!! Just shut up!! Look what i've done to you...Relena...You bastard, what do you think I am?

A killer, that's what you are, using your missions as a cover up for you lust of death...

A lust for death? Is that what you call it? The only person who loved me is gone...Uhn...Relena, forgive me..

Everything is okay.

That kid....Again....

Everything.....Is okay.....Heero..

What?

Relena: Heero, Heero, wake up already!

Heero: Relena....But I killed you....Your...

Relena: I'm right here Heero, nothing happened.

"This...This isn't real..."

What is real, Heero?

"........I don't know....heh...The perfect soldier...And I cant tell the difference between reality and a dream..."

Your going to die.

Heero woke up tied to a bedpost. Wufei was standing by the door.

Heero: What happened?

Wufei: Don't tell me you cant remember.

Heero: Remember what?

Trowa walked in.

"You just killed Relena."

Heero: This....Can't be real......This cant be happening..

Duo walked in and slapped Heero. What the hell could you be thinking Heero? You just killed the Vice minister! You know how much the will interrupt the peace treaty?? This will probably start another war and were already in one!!

Another war, that's just what you need. To bring your instincts up to date.

No.

Trowa: No, is that all you have to say?

I have many things to say..

Duo: Heero, you emotionless bastard!!

I can't feel anything...Like my whole body is numb..

Wufei: Weakling.

What have I become?

Quatre held his fist to the side. Heero. I hate you!!

All Heero could hear was mumblings...Everything seemed to be muffled. Heero looked at his hand....The blood was still there.

"I'm a killing machine."

You have no emotions.

"I don't deserve to live."

You don't deserve to die.

"I can't go on like this..."

What will you do, Heero Yuy?

Heero remembered...Gun in his vest...Hidden...He could end it...End it all right now...so he wouldn't have to deal with dreams or reality...He managed to untie the holds on his arms...The gun to his head.....he fired...

Silence.

Heero!

He heard a cry...Was it his name? No....Couldn't be...

Heero! Don't.....Don't run away!

Wake up!!

"Hn, leave me alone....Let me die.."

Your such a coward! Are you just gonna run away?

"That's all I can do."

Everything was black....Faded...All that was visible...Heero....A small child...

I won't let you die, not until you learn your past.

"My past?"

Doctor: Clear, again!!

Heero felt the shock....

Doctor: He's coming around! Stop the shocks!

Heero: Uhn...What happened?

You went into shock, some kids brought you in here, they're waiting outside. You look fine to me so I guess we can let you go.

Heero walked outside...The other four gundam pilots were leaning against the hospital wall.

Duo: Your pretty messed up Heero.

Heero: Where's Relena, what happened to her?

Duo: What are you talking about? She's at the Earth sphere headquarters, making agreements, you know that.

Heero: I killed her.

Duo: What are you talking about?

Heero: I killed Relena, I remember...I fired a round and...She was in the way..

Quatre: I think we should get Heero home, Duo.

Heero: I'm not going...

Duo: Say what?

Heero: I'm not going anywhere...Stay...Away from me...

Heero ran off, it was dark outside, no one could see him...Darkness was his home.

Wufei: Heero, come back here!!

Quatre: No, don't chase him, something's wrong, we don't know what he'll do. You'll never find him that way....

Duo: Oi, he's right, lets track him in the morning.

Trowa nodded. Lets go.

They walked into the car....Drove off quickly.

Heero sat in the shadows, he laughed.

"I don't know where I am, i'm lost....heh..."

Heero, go back to them.

"Why would I?"

They care for you.

"No, they don't....I'm just a puppet for missions, I lay useless when they're done...What do I do now?"

Stop running away.

"I shouldn't be asking for advice from a child anyway..."

Then why are you?

"Because I can't decide on my own..."

Then....You know what to do...

"Yeah....I guess."

Duo yawned. Oi, thought I was gonna get a break...Better get lookin' for Heero. He looked on the floor, Heero?

Heero: Hn....

Duo: So ya decided to come back eh?

Heero: Only place I had to go.

Duo: Heero....Sucha bastard...Well, I guess I will be able to relax...Heh.

Heero walked into the bathroom, turned on the shower.

your pathetic...

"Leave me alone..."

Why don't you let your instincts take over?

"I would kill everyone here if I did..."

Show me what you can do! I want to see your killing abilities.




Heero glared into the mirror.
"Why don't you show yourself! Who are you!"

Your looking right at me.

*******to be continued*******