Chapter 2: The Plot Begins and America Attends a Meeting
Disclaimer & Warning: Ah I still do not own Hetalia or OHSHC. A sad day for all of my readers I'm sure. Hey, how many of you read this anyway? I'm going to put a buzzword here. If you can tell me the buzzword in your review, you get a small prize. Nothing serious, I just want to see how many people actually pay attention to this. No warnings I think for this chapter.
This story continues to go out to my beloved Sisca. I will be throwing a reference out there to you my darling, please tell me if you see it! Thank you for all your support and love.
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America wasn't sure whether to be impressed by how quickly Tamaki had gotten them all in soldier outfits, and himself in a very snazzy General uniform, or to pout that she had been given such a low rank. Seriously she had been in literally hundreds of battles or something! She at least deserved to be a Sergeant First Class; instead she was stuck as a puny Private First Class! The indignity! A quick glance around (and forcing herself to read the atmosphere, again, her stupid brothers better appreciate all the work she was putting into this or bitches were gonna pay) told her there was discontent in the ranks. The twins/clones seemed also to be unhappy with their rank of simple Privates. She could perhaps rally them forth to vanquish this unfair dictatorship of Tamaki and—
Tamaki continued to outline his great plan of conquest on a map with a laser pointer, completely ignorant of the mutinous thoughts of his troops. He droned on, "…and that is when we hit their left flank with our cavalry—I know we don't have one technically yet, but I figure Kyoya, as the mother of us all, can take care of that—to disrupt their infantry men—"
America interrupted, "Wait!" She turned to Kyoya and asked, "You're the mother?" AH! Again Japan was holding out on her! First the clones, something he had promised they would do together, and now she found out that he had apparently been experimenting with male pregnancy without her! What had happened to the trust? To the promises he gave her? Did that one night in the science lab filled with experiments and data read-outs and the gentle, glowing light of the computer screens mean nothing to him?! The bastard. He was so going down! She would start with burning his private manga collection and work her way up from there to repay such treachery. Oh why had she been so naive as to believe his promises of scientific experiments done together?
Kyoya watched as the young woman looked to be going through some sort of deep emotional blow. He wondered if he should care, decided he didn't (he still was a bit upset that she had manipulated and forced them to help her), and said, "The term 'mother' is simply a nod to the fact that while Tamaki tends to be the leader and self-appointed 'father' of our little club, I'm the one who runs all the logistics and has to take care of everything. Thus I am the 'mother' of the club."
America came out of her "Agony-of-Betrayal-and-Anger-of-a-Woman-Scorned" ™ routine to focus back on the real world. She blinked and said, "Oh. No male pregnancy experiments then and you have to tell me the truth! While the scientific betrayal would sting my fragile female heart, it is better to get the truth thrust into the light and for the wounded heart to be cauterized by its burning heat then to allow it to fester in the darkness of falsehood."
The entire OHSHC, except for Kyoya, gave a round of applause for the performance. Haruhi was a little distracted in her applause, though, as she tried to figure out how all the lights had gone out except for the spotlight over Ms. Jones during her monologue. America accepted the applause with dignity and grace; it had been one of her better impromptu performances. She was really glad that she'd decided to add all the special lighting effects in the ceiling while she'd been sitting around waiting for the club to show up. Totes worth it~
Kyoya could only watch helplessly as Tamaki seemed enamored by The Woman's theatrics. This was going to give him headaches and disrupt his normally lucrative host club, wasn't it? As he watched The Woman show the host club how she had redone the lights to get her effects he knew the answer was going to be a sad yes. Oh well, if you can't beat them, control them to your liking and still try to make money off them. He cleared his throat and got the club's and Ms. Jones' attention. Politely he said, "Ah Tamaki, I believe we will need to re-think your plan. It isn't practical to have full scale military maneuvers against three people, and I doubt that if we were to go ahead with your plan it would endear The Wo—Ms. Jones to them."
Tamaki pouted, Kyoya ignored him. He continued with his Good Idea, "Ms. Jones—"
She interrupted, "Call me Alfreda or Al, 'Ms. Jones' sounds way too boring to be me."
"Right, Alfreda then, I believe it would help us if you could tell us a little bit about your brothers and what exactly is causing your brothers to, ah, 'act like D-bags.'"
America nodded. She began, "Okay so the oldest is Francis Bonnefoy from France. He likes roses, women, men, some animals, wine, great food, and sex with women or men or, probably, some animals. He's a pretty good painter, a great cook when he isn't trying to convince the world that snails and frogs are actually edible, and can be really philosophical when he gets in the mood. He tries to be the dad for us considering he's the oldest, but he tends to annoy Artie more than anything. That brings me to my second oldest brother, Arthur Kirkland of England aka Artie aka Iggy aka Iggy-licious-yum-yum. He used to be a bit of a delinquent according to Francis, but he's straightened out his act now. He likes fairies and unicorns and black magic and doing needlework. He's also pretty good with a sword, especially cutlasses, and loves to sail. He's also a totes grammar Nazi but I pwn him cause I speak American and he speaks English. Then there's my twin brother, Matthew Williams the Canadian. He loves hockey and maple syrup and being polite and being passive-aggressive. When he gets drunk or watches a hockey game or both, he can be pretty destructive because he mounts a moose and just riots EVERYWHERE! Like seriously! Everyone is always like 'Alfreda why can't you be more like Matthew, he is so well-behaved' and I'm all like 'Bitches please! Did you SEE what he did to my house the last time he got drunk and got on his moose?' And I swear he does this at my house the most often for the lulz of trolling me." America was proud of herself. She managed to outline the complicated historical ties among her family pretty well.
Kyoya ignored most of her rambling description. Obviously a good part was made up. Did she honestly expect them to believe that her brothers liked bestiality, unicorns, and rode on moose? Or that they were all from different countries and had different last names? They weren't idiots. Well, most of them weren't idiots. Ah well, it didn't matter. As long as no one tried to question it they could get her on her way with a small plan and almost no headache.
Honey-senpai raised his hand. When Alfreda nodded at him, he asked, "How come everyone in your family has different last names and is from different places?"
Kyoya hated his fellow club members sometimes.
Alfred nodded and got ready. The four FACE members had long ago decided on how to handle this question. Arthur would be politely embarrassed and annoyed and speak of adoptions and distant relatives who had to be taken in and cared for out of familial duty. Matthew would be all Canadian about it and mumble on and on and on about divorces and other family matters that he made sound very dull until the person who had inquired was dead of brain atrophy. Francis and Alfreda? Well… they liked a slightly more… flamboyant approach.
Alfreda began the Tale of Minnesota Jones, Intrepid archeologist and ladies' man.
It was a tale of romance and despair. How Minnesota Jones had gone to France to study the castles and identify some old ancient texts. There he had met and seduced the beautiful Josephine Bonnefoy. Theirs was a passionate affair of wine and lights and long nights. They were together a year and a day, long enough for her to give birth to bouncing baby boy, Francis Bonnefoy. But alas! The winds were calling him away, so he left his contact information and child support for the little boy and sailed over to Jolly Ole England. There, looking through the Library of London, he espied the lovely Elizabeth Rose Kirkland. Theirs was a subtle dance of poetic words, gallant gentlemen behavior (meaning daddy never mentioned her eyebrows), and warm kisses in cold rain. They were together for a year and a day, long enough for her to give birth to a little package of joy, Arthur Kirkland. But alas! The winds were calling Minnesota away, so he left his contact information and child support for the little boy and flew back to North America. There he ventured into the wilds of Canada and found himself a female lumberjack of heart and vigor and huge tracks of land, Madeline Williams. Theirs was a romance among the woods filled with pancakes, hot moments in front of the fire on a bear skin rug, and a stolen heart—specifically Minnesota's heart. For this Canadian belle had managed to tame the wild Minnesota's heart. But alas! Their happiness was not to last.
(By this point, all the members of the OHSHC were sitting on the edge of their seats, completely enthralled with her fantastical story of international love and how Minnesota touched down everywhere. Everywhere? Everywhere, it's international love.)
Driving his very pregnant, soon to be wife down to the United States, disaster struck! She went into labor and had a handsome baby while still in Canada, Matthew Williams. However, the birth was hard and not over, for the younger twin was still refusing to come out. Panicked, Minnesota drove over the border frantically trying to get to the nearest hospital to save his Madeline. Unfortunately, the nearest hospital was too far. By the time he reached the hospital, Madeline had birthed the younger twin Alfreda F. Jones (Minnesota figured that he might as well give his last name to ONE of his kids and why not his only daughter?) and died from blood loss.
(Alfreda paused to let the death sink into her audience. She noticed that Tamaki and Honey both had tears streaming down their faces while the others looked saddened. Haurhi also seemed greatly affected by the story for some reason. Good, the story was getting them.)
Minnesota was heartbroken, but tried to raise the twins. However, everyday he looked at the twins was a day too many for he could not let his heart mend from its loss. He ended up calling Josephine and Elizabeth Rose to ask for help. They flew to America with their sons and decided that the four children would go to a boarding school together. That way they could be a family and no family would be loved over the other. So the four children, strangers for the most part, went from being an international family to a close-knit and loving one.
Thus America ended the tale of Minnesota Jones.
Tamaki sobbed, "Oh that was beautiful! Such love! Such a tale! Oh my heart!"
Kyoya interrupted to try and get the meeting back on track, "Wonderful story. Thanks for clearing up all the confusion. Now about the problem with you and your brothers, I have a plan to handle that. What we want you to do…"
~~~~IMALINE~~~~~~~~~IMABREAKINTHEACTION~~~~~~~~~~IMALINE~~~~~~~~
America sat in the World Meeting bored out of her mind. Japan was a great guy normally but whenever the meetings were held at his house, they would be so boring! All proper and rules and "No America-chan, you can't put your feet on the meeting table" or "No America-chan, you just went to the bathroom, for two hours might I add, you can't go again until the break." Ugh.
She looked up and noticed that it would be her turn to speak soon. Being the world's only superpower (for now as China liked to mumble) meant that she had to make a speech at least once at every conference she attended. When her rise to power meant that she got such an illustrious honor, England had warned her that it would be a difficult and "bloody annoying" burden to have, but America liked it.
After all, it forced every nation in attendance to listen to her speech. And her speeches were so much more awesome than anyone else's speech for three reasons.
Reason one: Her ideas, while maybe a little outlandish at times, were cool. She knows the other nations always jeered at her robots and tech ideas and aliens, but that was just because they didn't understand what a visionary she was. And she could totally do what she planned too! It was just a little complicated to continually explain to her bosses and military leaders that while, yes, she could develop incredibly powerful robots to be used "proactive defense of the United States' interests" she wasn't going to. She did not like war and after the atom bomb… she didn't want to make anymore weapons. So she stuck with robots that could be superheroes and protect people instead!
Reason two: Her ideas were purposefully outrageously outlandish. She had noticed all her life as nation, and even in her colony days, that smaller, less powerful nations tended to not speak up during meetings. It wasn't that they didn't have any ideas; it was just that they thought no one would listen to them and so didn't bother. BUT! If America was making really outlandish and silly propositions, all the sudden their ideas didn't seem so bad. At least they weren't outright silly! It made America happy to see the smaller countries participating and feeling important. After all, a Heroine always had to help others, even if they didn't know she was helping them.
Reason three, her most cold-blooded reason: Her bargaining position was strengthened by these outlandish ideas. None of the nations seemed to notice how her first two or three ideas she gave were always ridiculous and that she would loudly defend them while other people shot them down. Afterwards she would sulk for a little while. Later she would—reluctantly oh so reluctantly—give another idea, a rational idea, and an idea that made sense damn it! (To quote a certain peevish Britain or annoyed Germany or exasperated Austria.) The nations would pretty much fall over themselves to say yes to her idea, and debate against the idea was usually very limited. She could practically hear their thoughts, "Oh thank the lord! Somehow an idea that had a little merit came out of America's mouth. Sure she'll soon be back to spouting nonsense, but at least for now some sense managed to get into that dense head." What they never seemed to notice was that her "rational" idea always ended up helping her. Either she'd get a concession from nations that otherwise they would've argued against giving her, or would win her a favor from one of the other nations to be used later. It was sad that no one ever noticed her tactic and she'd been using it for nearly a century now!
Of course, she wasn't the only one to do this. Her eyes slid to the other negotiating powerhouse at the conferences. Northern Italy saw her look and gave a cheerful wave. She snorted in amusement that Italy managed to get away with as much as she was. The little Italian used his bright and bubbly personality to bend quite a few of the EU nations to his little whims. Often she and Italy would have a "Pasta date" where they'd get together and trade horses. America would use her influence and bombastic personality to get countries A, B and C to go along with plan MF that Italy wanted to see happen while Italy would wheedle and pout and annoy countries H, T and R to go along with America's newest idea. It was amazing how everyone seemed to forget that Machiavelli was an ITALIAN.
(Of course she had her beliefs that Romano knew their games and went along with them. After all, no one could pull off a good Italy and bad Italy better than those two. "What? You want to talk about my debt or my Italian government, well okay but you can either talk to me, happy and idiot Northern Italy… or you can talk to my snarling, cussing brother Southern Italy. Make your pick.")
Germany stood up and brought America out of her little daydream of two hot Italian police officers (and one naughty American tourist), and cleared his throat, "Before we have our next speakers, Belgium, Canada, and… America, we are going to have a small break. Please be back in twenty minutes."
As the nations stood up and stretched, America was searching for her twin. The first part of the Kyoya's Plan was to "isolate the brothers individually."
America flashbacked to the meeting with the OHSHC. In her memory everything was black and white with a fan slowly turning over their heads. The OHSHC were all wearing detective outfits and America was dressed as the beautiful femme fatale. It was all quite grand.
FLASHBACK LIKE IN THE MOVIES, BLACK AND WHITE:
Kyoya, "Alright Alfreda, since you can't tell us yourself why your brothers are acting like 'D-bags' other than 'they hate me' we need to get some information before we can help you. I want you to go on outings with your brothers to specific locations where we can watch you. We'll observe your outings and find out what the main problems in your relationships with them are. Then we'll show you how to overcome those obstacles."
America tilted her face up. Her cheeks were damp with tears that she had been so delicately crying. Her beautiful eyes looked full of despair as the light cast shadows across her gorgeous face. Tearfully she said, "B-but what if they just hate me as a person?"
Tamaki came and took her hand and said, "I doubt anyone could truly hate a sister that would go through so much to rekindle their familial love. Don't worry; we will give you back your brothers."
End awesome flashback!
Her first target was going to be her twin. They shared the same continent and were twins; he should be the easiest one to get close to again. Seeing her twin, America prepared to strike.
Canada gave a chuckle and said a goodbye to his friends as he headed to the restroom. That is when she attacked. A mighty pounce landed her on her brother's back and almost caused him to fall if he wasn't so used to her antics that he almost had a sixth sense about her.
Once America was safely perched on his back, she cheered, "HEY MATTIE! Oh I missed you! For ignoring your beautiful baby sister you have to take me out for ice cream and to the park! Got it? No way out!"
Canada sighed and said, "America, I can't. I need to be doing some work."
America winced, but kept up her attack, "Please Mattie! Just one little afternoon won't kill ya! You don't even have to buy me ice cream. Just say you'll spend some time with me. Please!" The last was said with her ultimate weapon: Puppy Blue Eyes.
Canada only lasted a couple of minutes before his sister's cuteness combined with a look that made him feel like he had just killed her puppy, ran over the body with a car, before kicking mud on it made him cave. He gave a sigh, "Fine America. We'll go out tomorrow afternoon. Now please let me go I HAVE to use the bathroom before the meeting restarts."
Obediently America hopped of his back and gave him a cheerful wave goodbye. As soon as he was gone, so was the fake smile. America. He had called her America twice. Not Al, Alfreda, sis, or anything. America. She fought back the tears. It hurt for her twin to be so distant and formal and cold with her. Maybe it was too late. Maybe she had already lost him!
No!
America shook herself and took a deep breath. He still hadn't said that she couldn't call him by his human name so he wasn't lost to her. And the OHSHC promised they would help, and with their help and her determination, she'd win back her brothers. No problem!
And with that she strode off to go chat (Read: bug) some of the other countries before the meeting started again. All the while giving cheerful hellos and smiling and shining as if nothing was wrong.
(And ignoring the fear in her mind that whispered: alone, you will always be alone.)
~~~~~FIN~~~~~~~~~~~~FIN~~~~~~~~~~~~~FIN~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks to everyone who has reviewed! I'm sorry I haven't sent you back personal thanks but I promise to send all my reviewers from this chapter on a personal thank you. I hope Sisca likes this new chapter. I hope you all enjoyed reading it.
Much Love,
91REDROSES
