*Begin Meta*
The captain stared at the numerous dials and equipment on the bridge with a deep sense of mistrust. He had never cared for all this new-fangled technology when it came to ships. It always made him feel like the ship knew more than him, and the captain should be the most informed person on the ship, not the ship itself! Turning to his first mate, he continued his prerogative to stay informed by asking "First mate! How fairs the battle?"
"Well sir, the thing about the battle it that… well, there isn't one."
"What? Explain!"
The first mate sighed. "Well sir, the whole concept of a Shipping War revolves around the idea that people with different opinions about who characters should be romantically involved with are constantly arguing with each other over who's right. However, the last omake was met with pretty much unanimous approval, so there's no one to fight with."
"How the devil is that possible?" The captain exclaimed, angry that he wasn't getting the chance to be all captainy during a battle.
"It's likely that the nature of Shirou as a harem hero keeps people from getting angry about seeing a pairing they disapprove of. To them, the character is capable of seducing and being with any damn woman throughout the entirety of fiction. The harem must be fed, after all."
"Damn it! Don't these people know what Shipping is all about?"
"… the joy and amusement of seeing various characters find happiness in one another, sir?"
"No! It's about finding a completely pointless and stupid reason to bitch with other people on the internet about why your opinion is more valid than everyone else's!"
The first mate face palmed. "Aren't there enough things to bitch about on the internet?"
"Of course not, Damn it! This is exactly why you'll never make captain!" The grizzled sea dog was cut short by a sudden crash followed by a large explosion at the back of the ship. "Aha! We are under attack! Turn us around and engage the enemy! "
"Actually sir, I'm pretty sure that was the shoddy, makeshift mizenmast falling over. It turns out that it was pretty unstable, what with it being made out of rotting driftwood and all."
"Then what was that explosion?"
"That would probably be the missiles you insisted we put up in the crow's nest in spite of the fact that there was no delivery system."
The captain gave a contemplative hum as he stroked his beard. "This is truly unfortunate. No one could have predicted this disaster."
"I told you this would happen several times, sir."
Undeterred by simple logic, the captain continued. "However, if we overcome this adversity, it will make our victory in this battle all the sweeter!"
"We're still not in battle, sir."
"Then forward! To battle! And Victory!"
The first mate once again face palmed, adding to the ever growing red mark on his forehead, before heading to the back of the ship to put out the fire before the captain's idiocy could bring the S.S. Uzume down in flames.
*End Meta*
Uzume ducked and weaved around the alleyway as best she could, but her attacker was relentless. Tonight was just supposed to be another night of terminating another Sekirei that Higa had found to be a problem. The heir had given Uzume her target a few hours earlier, and she had been stalking the Sekirei/Ashikabi pair for a while until she found the right time to strike. When they had turned down an alleyway to take a shortcut, the cloth Sekirei knew that this would be her best chance. The target was a pole arm user, so the alley would restrict her moments. Really, the whole thing should have been a fairly simple affair.
Unfortunately, Uzume was now realizing that she probably should have figured that her actions would eventually cause her to run into him.
She bit back a curse as her arm was nearly cut off by the black Chinese saber after its white twin had blocked her attack. It seemed like no matter what she did she could never land a hit on the male Sekirei, even though he was a little bit slower and appeared to be full of openings. He just seemed to be able to know where she was going to attack before she made her move. As the fight dragged on, it became clear to Uzume that the title of 'Kensei' was not given to him lightly.
Also in accordance with the brief description she heard of him, the Kensei Sekrei was completely covered, wearing gloves and a dark grey hooded sweat shirt with a face mask, so the small part of his face that wasn't covered was hidden in shadow. The only thing she really could tell about him was that he was fairly tall and long of limb. Well, and the fact that he was incredibly good with those swords of his.
Uzume was getting frustrated with the sword wielding Sekirei, especially since he had managed to keep her occupied while her target ran away. She had hoped to take him down as a sort of compensation so Higa wouldn't be completely pissed at her, but if things kept going the way they were, she doubted she would be able to make it back to her blackmailer in one piece at all. With a large sweeping motion, Uzume sent out a wide swath of cloth as if to entrap the Kensei Sekirei, and used the moment of broken line of sight to jump to the rooftops. When she landed, she turned around and glanced down to see how he faired against her last attack and was surprised by what she saw. It wasn't the fact that he had cut through her cloth (she was expecting that), but the fact that he was looking straight at her.
What? I'm sure I covered my escape, how did he know where I went so fast? Whatever the case, he made no motion to follow, merely looking up at her for a few moments before dashing out of the alley and off into the night.
Uzume stared after him for a while, trying to make sense of the Sekirei's behavior. Why didn't he come after me? And for that matter, why is he going around saving other Sekirei? It wasn't just that he was helping other Sekirei, he was actually going out of his way to do so. She could definitely understand not wanting to be a part of the Sekirei Plan, but to act directly counter to it? That would bring down a lot of heat from MBI, probably even more than her own shady work ironically enough.
Uzume gave a sigh, not knowing why the man did what he did, but knowing that he just caused her a whole mess of trouble. She turned and began jumping across the rooftops back to Higa, knowing that for Chiho's sake, she would someday have to fight her opposite again.
Uzume softly groaned to herself as she awoke to a pounding head, She kept her eyes shut to keep the early morning light from making the headache worse while trying to remember what happened last night. She remembered hunting down another Sekirei, but then getting interrupted by Tsukiumi and Musubi. Then Kazehana-nee-san showed up and they both escaped. After that, there was some talking followed by a lot of drinking and the rest just became a blur. In any case, the cloth Sekirei decided that all that could wait till later, and for the moment continued to nuzzle the warm, soft thing she had latched onto in her sleep. It felt somewhat familiar, yet was different enough that she couldn't quite place it. She briefly wondered if she had latched onto Kazehana, but she quickly discarded the idea as nee-san would be much softer and curvier than whatever she was holding. It was soft, but there was also an underlying firmness to it, kinda like really built muscle-
Uzume's eyes shot open at the sudden realization, and sure enough found herself cuddling next to a rather familiar looking red headed young man. A slight stirring on the other side of his body showed that Kazehana had also ended up in Shirou's bed. Not only that, she was wearing a rather skimpy set of panties… and that was it. Glancing down at herself, Uzume found herself to be in a similar state of undress. Looks like the two of them were so drunk they missed Uzume's room completely and just threw themselves down next to Shirou after stripping off most of their clothes. In spite of the pain she felt in her head, the cloth Sekirei smirked to herself as she imaged Shirou's reaction to finding himself in bed with two voluptuous young women. He had always been rather shy when it came to anything intimate, so Uzume was betting that there was half a chance the poor man would pass out just after he woke up. With a mischievous look on her face, she gently poked Shirou in the side to awaken him.
Much to Uzume's surprise, rather than waking up the red head unconsciously wrapped one of his arms around her, muttering "Sorry, Saber. Rin'll take care of breakfast…"
Uzume stiffened a bit, both at the increased contact and the unexpected response. Rin and Saber… those were the names of his former girlfriends, right? With that in mind, she guessed that he would probably be used to the sensation of two soft bodies sleeping next to him. She was about to try poking him a bit harder when she noticed his face. It was very peaceful looking, but there was something else, like he was… content. Staring at his expression, Uzume though about how melancholy Shirou became whenever the subject of his two former lovers came up. She guessed that things ended pretty badly, but it seemed whatever had actually happened between the three of them, he still cared about them on some level.
After a few more moments, Uzume relaxed her body and wrapped her arm around his in kind. She wasn't quite sure why she was doing it; while she wasn't certain on just how to categorize her relationship with the red head, she knew the current level of intimacy was probably a ways beyond it, not to mention her love for Chiho. It was just that… she couldn't stand wake him up. She didn't want to take away this small measure of peace for him, even if it would be lost when he woke up on his own. So, for a little while longer, she was willing to let him be.
Cuddling next to the young man, she was somewhat surprised how much muscle he had on him. Shirou always seemed to favor loose, long sleeve shirts, so this was the first time she really examined his body. Really, this was the first time she examined any male body for that matter. Uzume reflected that this was probably the first time she has even been this physically close to a man at all, mostly due to her preference for women and the fact that most Sekirei were female. Furthermore, she was also surprised at the fact that while the sensation of being pressed against a man was different than the one of being pressed against a woman, it was not at all unpleasant. Chiho was soft and squishy, like something you wanted to embrace and care for. Shirou on the other hand was more firm, but more like something you'd hold onto for comfort rather than something unpleasant. These comparisons floated through Uzume's mind for a while, wondering what it would be like to feel both pressed against her at the same time, Chiho nuzzling her neck from behind while the Ashikabi's hands explored her form, all the while her own hands moving over the hard surfaces of Shirou's body, drifting down towards his-
Uzume blinked in shock and felt her suddenly heat up. Where the hell did that come from?
She didn't have long to think about it however, as only a moment later Shirou suddenly stiffened and then sat bolt upright, giving off a somewhat girly scream as his did so. Looks like he finally woke up and noticed the situation. Uzume sat up with him and tried to say something to calm him down. Unfortunately, given what her most recent thoughts were about, what she actually said was "I wasn't thinking about grabbing your firm ass!"
There was a solid 30 seconds where the two of them did nothing by stare at each other with a combination of shock an embarrassment. Oh god, Uzume thought. Why did I say that? Of all the possible things, why did I say that? Granted it is probably pretty firm but- god damn it stop thinking about Shirou's butt!
Shirou (whose own face was rather red at this point) finally managed to restart his brain and connect it to his mouth. "Uzume… what… why are… who is… where are you clothes?" Granted, his brain wasn't working at full capacity, but it was a start.
It was then Kazehana-nee-san managed to rouse herself from her alcohol induced sleep and sit up herself. "Nee, what's all the yelling for?" She said groggily before finally noticing the young man next her. "Oh, I don't remember inviting anyone to bed with us." The wind Sekirei leaned forward, pressing her front against his back so she could get a good look at him. "Hmm, not normally my type, but you're pretty cute nonetheless." She said with a flirtatious wink.
Shirou's blush became an even deeper shade of red, no doubt in response to the feeling of nee-san rather impressive assets being pressed into his back. His mouth opened and closed for awhile as his eyes darted around the room, trying desperately to look at anything other than the mostly nude forms of the two Sekirei. Uzume was afraid that they might have accidently broken the poor man.
However, the wind Sekirei's interest in Shriou was short lived, as a few moments later Minato's voice could be heard outside the door. "Shriou-san, are you alright? I heard yelling and-" That was as far as he got before he opened the door and saw the repairman with the two topless beauties, causing him to choke on his words as he gripped his nose to keep blood from coming out. He quickly stepped back out into the hall, stuttering an apology as he did so. "I-I'm sorry Emiya-san! I didn't kn-know that you had some c-company! I mean, I guess I should have seeing as you have all this ex-experience with multiple women… Wait! What I meant was-" he babble like this for a while until Kazahana curiously got up and walked out to him, the wimpy man suddenly calming up when he saw her form again.
Uzume couldn't see her nee-san any more, but she could hear her softly say "You look just like him…" She was somewhat confused by this, but decided that she should deal with the man in front of her first.
Shriou had managed to regain his composure somewhat, his face resting it one of his hands. "Uzume… could you please explain what's going on?"
Ignoring the noises coming from the hallway that indicated the rest of Minato's flock had found Kazehana with their Ashikabi, Uzume rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "Heh, sorry bro. Me and Kazehana-nee-san went out for drinks last night, and we got pretty drunk. I guess I didn't know which room we stumbled into…"
"And the part about my firm ass?" He remarked, still keeping his face covered with his hand.
"Uhh…" Uzume said nervously, tying to come up with a less embarrassing explanation than the truth, but failing to find one. "I… don't know what you're talking about."
"I'm pretty sure you do."
"Let's… talk about something else."
Shirou gave a sigh and removed the hand from his face, only to quickly put it back again. "Maybe you could put on some clothes first."
Uzume looked down at herself. She had almost forgotten that she was practically naked. She gave a small laugh as she reach for her discarded clothing. "Aw, what's wrong bro? Most guys would be thrilled to see me and nee-san dressed like this."
"Well, I'm not most guys." He replied sternly.
Isn't that the truth, she thought to herself as she pulled her shirt over her chest. In the hall, she could hear Miya saying "Lewdness is forbidden in the Izumo House." And the tell-tale screams of terror from the rest of the occupants. After shrugging on her pants, she said "Ok, I'm decent."
Shirou removed his hand and gave the cloth Sekirei a look before getting to his feet. "I should probably go make breakfast. We can talk about this later." He then noticed the sound of Miya's lecture. "Right after I study Miya's technique some more."
"Shirou, wait!" Uzume called out, stopping him from reaching the door. Suddenly much less sure of herself, she continued to say "I, well, I just want to say… sorry."
He waved his had dismissively. "Don't worry about it. You were-"
"No, not about that." She said looking off to the side. "I just want to say… I'm sorry about what happened between you, Rin, and Saber." Shirou stiffened at the sudden topic, but she pressed on regardless. "I mean, I don't really know what happened, but it must have been bad for you, and I really shouldn't tease you about it, so… I'm sorry."
Uzume cursed herself as she looked at the ground. Why would she bring that up out of nowhere? If it truly was as painful as she implied, Shirou would hardly like it being brought up. Hell, she still could be misreading the whole situation…
"Thank you." She almost missed Shirou's soft reply. Looking up, she saw he was looking at her with small smile on his face. She was so surprised she stood there for a long while after he left.
