***Amazed***
Previously
-What are you talking about Haymitch?-I say as I straighten up and start turning my head to the lady-Who should I … meet?
I open my eyes at the beauty I've got standing right in front of me. She's got brown nearly black wavy hair that are twirling on her back. Her grey silver, icy eyes look deep at me as if they are discovering my deepest secrets. Her eyelids and covered in black which makes her eyes look more and more beautiful and cold in the same time. Her lips are just a bit curved at the edge, but enough to form a smile that can easily break you to pieces. On her neck lies a shiny necklace which matches her eyes. She looks like a queen, no like a fighter, and there's nothing that can break her, while she is easily breaking me. I got my eyes fixated at her own as I keep thinking could it be her?
Of course it's her. There's no one else with eyes that cold and warm in the same time. There's no one else that can look as marvelous as she does. There's no one else that can bring back the feeling I felt at the tree near the bakery. There's no one else, beside her…
Katniss Everdeen…
It was impossible to get my eyes of her. I was astonished by her beauty. Sure, I thought she was beautiful before, but this is a whole new level of beauty. She is more beautiful than the sunset, than the perfect combination of colors of the night sky, something I haven't been able to see in my whole life. She is the most beautiful thing I'll ever see in this world. She's like an angel, a dark one. Who hides the darkest secrets that anyone has. A nightmare dressed like a daydream. There are so many words I can use to describe her, so many colors I can use to paint her, but no matter what I'll never be able to reach her perfect profile, her perfect face and in less words, her perfect being. As I'm sinking in my thoughts of trying to put a single perfect adjective to her I notice that her eyes are looking at me too. They are grey. They are cold, icy eyes but deep down they hide the most complex emotions someone might have. She still looks at me, and her eyes study me, it looks like she's reading me just by looking at she's revealing my deepest and darkest secrets. Like she's shattering me to pieces. Like she already knows things about me that even my mother doesn't. And of course she's the first to break this loud silence
-Not recognizing me, ?-she says in a soft and sweet voice that echoes through my head,she takes a sip from her drink even though she keeps looking at me.
-Of course I do! Who wouldn't know the gorgeous Katniss Everdeen!-I try to stay as calm as I can as I lean to reach for her hand and kiss her knuckles. At the little contact that I made I noticed that her skin is warm, not to say hot. Well, she is not called the girl on fire for nothing.
-Oh, you're just flattering me!-she says and giggles lightly-You made a great game in there.I must say I was surprised by your strategy.
She points at the big screen behind me that shows the highlights of my greatest moments in the game. I look at it and then I say:
-Well, I wouldn't call a strategy hiding from the others and expect them to kill each other,but if that's what you say..
-No really, you got out of the games as pure as a baby. In fact many of my friends call you a saint.-She chuckles and takes another sip of her drink
-I entered the games as a poor scared boy with none chance of winning and got out of them as victor among the others death. At least they..
! The mayor says that it's time for your speech.-someone behind me interrupts me
-I'll come right away!-I say to him then I turn to Katniss- Excuse me! I got to go.
She nods as I make my way through the crowd. What I said to her was true.I really won the games and I should be grateful that I made it out alive, but to be honest I never thought I should of won. I deserved to die in that arena like a coward that I was, while the others they died trying and that's unfair, this world is unfair. As I climb the stares I hear mr. Undersee's voice saying:
-Ladies and gentleman! I proudly announce to all of you who have come from Capitol to join our celebration, the winner of the 74th annual Hunger Games, the strategy boy, Peeta Mellark!
I walk in the stage thinking about my new nickname 'strategy boy' huh? Well, I suppose you won't think this is a strategy.I walk near the microphone and start talking:
-Hello! I'm really happy to see you all here in my District. And when I say happy I mean really happy.-The sense of humor in my last word made everybody laugh, maybe I was good at words like Haymitch said-Now to get serious I thank you all for coming here and celebrating with , I must give my apologies to all the families of the other tributes. Starting from Thresh. You probably are watching me from Capitol TV right now, and I know that this won't make your pain easier and won't bring your dear ones back but let me tell you most honored and the most respectful for me are those who died in that arena, because they did die but they died fighting while I stood hiding in that cave waiting for my death to come. They were doing everything possible to win because they wanted to, while I never thought,never wanted to get out of there alive. I think they deserved to win not me because at least they had someone that was waiting for them back home, someone that cried for them at their hardest moments, someone that give them strength. But what happened , happened and I should be happy and grateful that I survived , right?-I let out a laugh without any sound of humor on it-Thank you again and please enjoy yourselves!
I walk out of the stage with a lot of applauses, I take a glass of champagne and get out in the garden of the mayor's house. It was big, and full of roses, it looks like that's how all the gardens of Capitol people are.
I walked around the garden for some time and then I just stood in the bridge above the small lake . I kept watching the water and the reflection of the moon in it. I was pathetic. First I fall for a girl that has impossible chances of returning love to me, and then I win the games like a scared cat. I'm as hopeless in love as someone is finding water in desert. As I said, completely pathetic.
I keep gazing at the silent water beneath me. If my life would be like it, calm and silent. If of I would of fallen for a normal girl, who talks about dresses and nails and stupid things. If I wouldn't of been reaped that day ,I would still be working in the bakery, frosting cakes, I would still be painting, indeed I would have a normal life. But who needs a normal life. I am a human being, I've got adrenaline in my veins that makes me hate a normal boring life. But sometimes I think that I'll miss it . As Haymitch said to me 'After this your life will change boy, you'll have to train innocent children to survive the danger of the Games, you'll have to be a puppet of the Capitol!'And that's what I don't want to do, be a weapon or a puppet of the Capitol. I wonder how Katniss managed to train two innocent kids to send them right into their deaths. She won two years before, but I don't know why she didn't mentor me. I'll have to ask her, even though it's impossible to actually talk to her while she is staring at you with those grey irises like they're tearing you apart.
Aghrrhrrrrr there she goes, invading my brain again. Seriously I can not spend a second without thinking about her once, everything in my life circles around her. I think about the bakery, I remember the day I gave her the bread. I think about painting, I try to realize how to paint her. I think about the games, I admire the way she won. I think about the Capitol, I remember how all of them adored her even if she wasn't the friendliest person back then. She is everywhere.
-You're whole speech was a big fat lie!-I nearly jump when hear her voice, as I said she is everywhere. I turn around to face her, but instead I'm facing a pair of silver eyes wondering around the darkness. They're shining like stars and are almost the only thing that you can look clearly in here. I try to come up with a reply that doesn't show how surprised and nervous I am.
-Ouch, that hurts!-I place my hand in my heart-And it hurts more coming from a big, fat victor.
-Hey I'm not that fat!-she giggles, and as she comes closer I notice that she is holding a glass of champagne too, maybe she likes it as much as I do.
-And may I know why do you think that I am a big, fat liar?-I ask turning around to face the little lake once more.
-Everything you said, it wasn't true- she stands across me leaning a little to see the water-Starting from 'I think they deserved to win not me' line, continuing with 'I had none chance of winning' and 'I won like a coward', ending with 'no one was waiting for me back home'. The only true thing in that big, fat speech-she turned her face to mine and smiled- were the apologies.
-I really meant what I said though,-I said- I wasn't lying for anything.
-I didn't say you were lying, I said what you think is a big, fat lie.
-To my defence I never said 'no one was waiting for me back home'- I replied
-Oh please, even a baby would understand what you wanted to say.
-Okay, but it was true. I have no one here in District 12, no one that was waiting for me at least.
-You do have a family.
-If you call a family, a mother doesn't even met you because she thinks that you're not coming back and two brothers who started arguing who would get my room, then I would agree with you- I don't know why but I think I'm sounding like one of those Capitol weirdos(because I don't think that they are citizens)
-What about your dad?
-He died a year ago, when the peacekeepers learned that he traded they… hung him in the tree and…-I swallowed- well you know what happens next.
-I'm sorry -she said softly as she turned completely to me and I did the same- But still there are other people who missed you and wanted you to come home.
-And who might these be?- I asked curiously
-Well, you have to find that on your own.-she said, nearly whispered, while fixing my jacket- I already told you too much.
-You're too mysterious, young lady.- I reply
-Well where's the fun without some little mystery.-she smiles-And don't talk like that, you sound like those Capitol bimbos.
-Bimbos?-I raise my eyebrows to the hilarious nickname
-Yeah, Johanna calls them like that.
-And who's Johanna?-when I said this she looked at me like I was the stupidest person in the world
-Oh right, you don't know them!-at
-Them?-at this part I was completely dumbfounded
-Come one, I'll present you some friends of mine.-she said as she started walking away-I'm sure you'll like them.
-Okay, then. But only because they're your friends.-I follow her and give her glass of champagne-Your champagne.
-Oh right!-she takes it and drinks it all in one gulp than drops the glass on the ground and smiles at me while turning to walk again
-How much time have you spend with Haymitch?-I ask
-A little, why?-she says as we walk back to the mansion
-It looks like it was enough to take his drinking addiction.
-It wasn't because of him, the first time I got drunk was a special occasion.
-A party?
-Far from that.
-Were you hurt?
-Yes, so much that I consciously went to Haymitch's house and drunk almost all of his liquor bottles. But I don't get drunk anymore, I got used to it. You will too.
-What makes you think that I'll drink anyway?
-I drink to forget, even if for one minute or one hour. After a while you'll need it too, trust me.
I didn't reply anymore. For the first time in my life I didn't know what to say. I was amazed. Amazed not only by her beauty but by her thoughts, by the way she saw this world. Amazed by her sincerity, amazed by the way she made me tell her things that I've never told anyone. Amazed by her mysteries. Amazed by how much she knew. Amazed by the way she acted. Amazed by how much caring, friendly and in the same time cold she was. Shortly I was amazed by how amazing she was.
And with my amazed expression I continued to follow her, even though I had no Idea where we were going I followed her. And I was sure that in the future I would follow her even if she's going straight to the depths of Hell, because there was something inside me that reassured me that I should trust her, just the way she trusted me by telling me the first time she got drunk. If in our first conversation she made me actually happy that I survived the games, who knows what can she do to me in the future. That's why I trust Katniss Everdeen. That's why I will trust Katniss Everdeen.
Always…
