Additions (a.k.a. The stuff that I didn't think of the first time)
I. Hiding
A carefully concealed "fortress of solitude" is essential to eluding fangirls. The more obscure, the better. We hear that there's a hole for rent somewhere in Iraq.
II. Diversion
When the numbers of fangirls are heavily against you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look! It's Orlando Bloom!" Then run like a bat out of hell in the opposite direction while the fangirls are distracted. Such is the power of men in fruity wigs over the weak-minded. Harness this power and use it to your advantage.
III. Angst and Brooding
It is common knowledge that brood and fangirl appeal are directly proportional. In order to protect yourself from fangirls, be sure to avoid being any of the following: Evil, a loner, vengeful, a misogynist, an orphan, a thief, post-traumatic stress disorder-stricken, a ninja, a vampire, a devil, a genocidal maniac, or a megalomaniac.
IV. Facial Hair
Facial hair is almost always a turnoff to fangirls. No one wants to get their lips anywhere near something resembling a porcupine. Unfortunately, even if you stop shaving, you might not ever grow a beard. It's one of those weird idiosyncracies about being an anime character. The best you can do in that case is a fake beard from a costume shop.
V. Weapons
Everyone knows that swords are the coolest weapons in anime, and fangirls love the swordsmen. You may want to consider trading in your blade for something less cool. Ranged weapons are more effective anyhow.
Muchas gracias to my good friend John for writing almost all of number III and inspiring number IV (though I really can't believe that I didn't think of it before).
I. Hiding
A carefully concealed "fortress of solitude" is essential to eluding fangirls. The more obscure, the better. We hear that there's a hole for rent somewhere in Iraq.
II. Diversion
When the numbers of fangirls are heavily against you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look! It's Orlando Bloom!" Then run like a bat out of hell in the opposite direction while the fangirls are distracted. Such is the power of men in fruity wigs over the weak-minded. Harness this power and use it to your advantage.
III. Angst and Brooding
It is common knowledge that brood and fangirl appeal are directly proportional. In order to protect yourself from fangirls, be sure to avoid being any of the following: Evil, a loner, vengeful, a misogynist, an orphan, a thief, post-traumatic stress disorder-stricken, a ninja, a vampire, a devil, a genocidal maniac, or a megalomaniac.
IV. Facial Hair
Facial hair is almost always a turnoff to fangirls. No one wants to get their lips anywhere near something resembling a porcupine. Unfortunately, even if you stop shaving, you might not ever grow a beard. It's one of those weird idiosyncracies about being an anime character. The best you can do in that case is a fake beard from a costume shop.
V. Weapons
Everyone knows that swords are the coolest weapons in anime, and fangirls love the swordsmen. You may want to consider trading in your blade for something less cool. Ranged weapons are more effective anyhow.
Muchas gracias to my good friend John for writing almost all of number III and inspiring number IV (though I really can't believe that I didn't think of it before).
