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Isabela let me sleep in her cabin. Although she offered the other side of her bed, I couldn't accept and had no words to explain to her how poor I had become at trusting people right away. She hadn't been wrong to suggest that I should catch a few hours of sleep before meeting with her crew. I was still slightly drugged by the lyrium and had been running for my life only minutes or an hour ago. Isabela told me that I could wash myself when I woke up, afraid that if she left me alone in a hot bath I would get too relaxed and drown myself. Humor from humans was one of the things I had greatly missed, although it was going to take some time to distinguish an insult from sarcasm.

Even the couch in her room looked way more comfortable than the hard floor I had got used to till now and when I got one of the big red pillows and a warm blanket, I fell asleep immediately after closing my eyes.

#

The sound of the door opening woke me up after spending wonderful time in the deepest sleep I had ever experienced. For a moment, I didn't recognize Isabela and tried to assume my fighting stance, failing miserably. The raw lyrium had taken its toll and I felt like a damp piece of cloth. My muscles were like air and I couldn't recall a single spell in my confusion. The voice of my conscience ordered me to calm down and when I realized how stupidly I had acted, I lowered my gaze and covered my face in my palms.

"Hey now, sweet thing, no need for that," Isabela's comforting voice said and she gave a pat on my shoulder. "I'm sure you've been through a lot and that your reaction was justified. I mean, I too sometimes greet people with my daggers bared at their throats. Better safe than sorry, right?"

Dumbfound, I looked at the pirate captain and burst into a laughter. It sounded strange hearing myself laugh so carelessly and the higher my pitch became, the more I wanted to laugh. Only Isabela's shocked face made me stop and I proceeded to wipe tears of joy from my cheeks.

"Aw, you have such a funny laugh," she snickered. "If only you could talk, I'm sure we would have a great time gossiping and giggling like two idiots."

I grinned a little, but still didn't want to tell her the whole story. It's not that I didn't want to just blurt the truth out, it was because I simply couldn't. Although I had been a human, I received no special treatment as a Saarebas. In fact, before I could become too dangerous, my Arvaarad had taken precautions to ensure the safety of the tribe. After that, it took a year before I could cast spells without the ability to speak again.

I still found myself moving my lips when using magic, even though it was my silent mind that spoke the words.

Isabela broke the awkward silence by tossing me a white towel. "Here, I prepared the bath for you while you slept. Don't worry, no-one knows about you yet and no man from my crew would be brave enough to come into my cabin without a permission."

Her confident voice gave me strength and I nodded in agreement. She took her leave and I walked to the wooden screen that separated the bathing area from the rest of the room. I touched the water and it was hot, a rare feeling for someone who had always washed herself in a chilly lake. On good days, me and the other Saarebas were given a whole bucket of warm water in addition to the cold ones. Usually we mixed the contents together to get several buckets of water not hot, but not too cold either.

I was more than ready to take off my sweaty torn rags and didn't even bother to lift them from the floor. When I detected the sound of the lyrium shards hitting the floor however, I removed them from the pocket and placed them in the corner away from the water. I stepped in the tub and felt my nerves relax like someone had been pulling the ends of a string for decades before releasing it. Some water splashed over the edges as I sat down and stretched my legs with certainly the most smug smirk I had ever shown. I cupped my hands and caught some foam in them, watching it intently before gently blowing it off. As I lay there, I couldn't remember the last time I had played like a child, without the fear of being interrupted by yelling and a slap across my face.

Isabela had put a small brush next to the tub and I needed not to be told to scrub myself completely like a mother would order her child. I grabbed it and started with my arms. The bristles took lot more filth off my skin than my nails or cloth ever could and I saw no harm in brushing hard enough to make my arm all red. When I moved to scrub my legs, I accidentally scratched an old scar on my calf and grimaced, pausing for a moment before continuing. I had been more lucky than the other Saarebas of my tribe, who had been often whipped, beaten and forced to starve. As a human, the qunari had thought me weak and fragile, not worthy of such physical punishments. Instead, they had resorted to more mental ones.

I could honestly say that my mind was more messed up than my body, although I had never allowed my leash to change who I was. No matter how brutally they used my mind to kill others, I was in control and would never become one of them.

My skin tingled from the thorough scrubbing and I stayed still for a while, enjoying the warmth all around me. I shook my head from left to right and straightened by back to wash my hair. It was short and dark as night, with some whites probably from stress. I couldn't tell how old I exactly was, but surely not so old that finding white hair on my head would be normal.

I thought about the captain's curly thick chocolate hair, feeling a bit jealous. Sighing, I brushed my hand across the top of my head, hoping that my hair grew too now that the Arvaarad wasn't here to keep it short.

"Reneka?" Isabela called from the door. "It's just me, I'm coming in."

It's not like I could answer her, so I waited for her to enter and believed that there were no others with her. The taste of constant battle was still in my mouth and I couldn't help my body becoming a bit tense, just in case. At least I was free and clean if I were to die.

I didn't wish for such thoughts, but knew it was going to take more than a bath and a soft pillow to erase everything I had been compelled to learn, even if I didn't agree with the teachings.

I heard Isabela opening the wardrobe that was beside the spot where I had hidden earlier. Sounds of swishing and rustling came from her direction, like she was gathering bedsheets. Her steps came closer and she stopped behind the screen.

"Are you a shy one or can I see the face of the person I'm talking to?" she chuckled. "I'll take silence as 'yes please go ahead'."

I remained quiet and Isabela walked forward. Privacy was a luxury a Saarebas didn't have. My Arvaarad had been constantly watching and after sharing baths and beds with the qunari mages of my tribe while all of us had been naked, I wasn't too bothered of my exposed body in front of others. I learned that it wasn't because of me not being attractive that it didn't cause the soldiers to blush, but because it was not my role to be feminine and pretty. The label of Saarebas was enough for the qunari to ignore naked human breasts.

I was more embarrassed of seeing Isabela's almost totally revealed chest because she was the first human woman I had spent time with in years.

Isabela carried a pile of clothes in various colors and she smiled at me. "These are mine, but should fit you as well," she said and put them all on the bed. "Every woman has the right to pick her own outfit, so feel free to choose whatever you like from my collection."

When she noticed the rags beside the tub, I flushed a bit and looked away. It was a moment when I was quite relieved for not being able to stutter like a fool and come up with a pitiful excuse for wearing something so horrible.

It wasn't a mocking sneer I saw on her lips, but a kind one. "With your permission, I would like to throw these into the sea. I don't fancy a rat problem on my ship."

Her joke made me laugh. I knew the best how awful my clothes smelled and wouldn't have been surprised if not even rats dared to nest in them.

My eyes closed and I made a gesture of sweeping my hand in the air that I had seen an Orlesian host make when he had welcomed the Arishok into his home a week ago. In my mind, the gesture translated as 'please go ahead' and judging from the approving smile on Isabela's face, she had comprehended my sign language.

"I think I need to tie a couple of heavy stones to these so they'll sink to the bottom of the ocean where they will never be found again," the captain made a serious statement and stuffed the rags in a sack before taking them out of her cabin.

#

I couldn't ever thank Isabela properly for her generosity and wouldn't insult her by refusing the help. From the clothes she had spread on her bed, I had found a sky blue tunic and white trousers that left my shins uncovered. I hadn't worn boots in a long time but Isabela had suggested a pair of sandals for me. They looked like a gladiator's with lots of leather straps to firmly keep the on my feet. I preferred to feel the wind in my toes, so the sandals soon became my favorite. While Isabela had gone to give orders to her crew, I had knelt beside the emptied tub and put the lyrium shards back in my new clean pocket.

The captain's cabin was still my safe house and she had brought me food there, giving me time to get adjusted to the new situation and the upcoming introduction to her crew. I didn't know why she didn't ask questions or act overly curious. My lack of replying with words was one reason of course, but Isabela seemed the kind of woman who wouldn't trust people any quicker than I would. She most likely thought that I was an escaped slave, which wasn't too far from the truth and she knew I had magic. If I remembered correctly, people like me were called apostates among the humans. Was she kind to me simply out of pity or was it personal, I couldn't tell.

I didn't sleep well during the night. Restless dreams kept me awake and I had a bad sensation. Shivers raised the hair on my skin and I was waiting for a stab from every direction. My Arvaarad had no power over me anymore, but I couldn't shake the feeling in my gut that I was in danger. When I glanced at Isabela who sweetly slept under two blankets, I winced and realized that she too was in danger.

Against her wishes, I sneaked out of the room and made my way to the deck. Most of the crew were snoring in their quarters and I decided to use the shadows rather than cast an invisibility spell to stay hidden. I peeked through the small round window on the door leading to the deck and saw no guards. With one swift movement, I opened and closed it fast so that no-one could detect me. I crouched and quickly tiptoed behind one of the masts.

One pirate was taking a piss near the steering wheel and another sat across him with a bottle of some liquid in his hands. Luckily, the bird's nest was empty so I didn't have to worry about being found out by someone above me.

My patience was rewarded and the two men decided to take a walk to the other end of the ship for a change. I circled the mast as they passed me and once they were gone, I headed to the stairs that took me to the command deck as I had named it. The waves had increased in size and strength and the wind was so heavy the air smelled of bland mix of scents.

The hems of my trousers were flapping wildly. The qunari had spoken of a brewing storm at the harbor, but I hadn't been out of Isabela's cabin for a day and missed the signs. Ominous clouds had filled the sky and I estimated a downpour in about an hour. I saw no coastline and became slightly concerned of how the wood of the Siren's Call creaked, warning us of a tough ordeal ahead.

Before the pirates came back, I scurried back to the lower deck and crept quietly to Isabela's cabin. To my surprise, when I carefully opened the door, she was sitting on her bed and looking at the window before turning to face me.

"Ah," I gasped, not sure if I should have entered or run away.

Her lips parted and her eyes widened. "Wow, that was the first sound I have heard from you," she chuckled. "You'd make a damn excellent thief, you know. It was the rumbling outside that woke me up, not you and that is quite an achievement."

I bowed as an apology after I had shut the door, but Isabela waved her hand at me.

"Sorry if I didn't inform you of the coming storm earlier, I just figured you had enough on your mind already," she said and stared at the waves. "Don't look like that, the Siren's Call has seen worse. We'll survive."

Her carefree attitude was oddly relaxing. My shoulders slumped and I managed to breathe normally again. When I sat on the couch, I too could hear the noises of nearing thunder. It was both terrifying and exciting that my body was automatically preparing itself for a fight. I was thankful for my reflexes and skills, but I had wanted to abandon my life of blood and suffering after gaining my freedom. My utopia was to live in a peaceful land free of killing and destruction while wearing a nice flower wreath on my head, my black hair so long that the braids would tickle my lower back.

A sea storm wasn't a battle of steel and magic, but despite my countless efforts, I couldn't make my body listen. My teeth gritted against my will.

#

An hour later the storm hit the ship with full force. Isabela had instructed me to stay below the deck and she would skip introducing me to the others by stating that I was a friend and part of the group now. Although it sounded very vague to me, I trusted the captain's word and strangely enough no-one stopped to question me as I wandered in the hallways. The atmosphere brought by the storm may have aided me to blend in. The only person who said anything to me was a man wearing a greasy apron and all he did was tell me to 'hold on tight and do not throw up'.

I was no sailor and wouldn't be much help on the deck anyways, but doing nothing was not me either. I respected Isabela's command and tried not no get in everyone's way by standing next to some ale barrels that were under a pile of ropes. The ship was swinging back and forth heavily and some loose stuff from the kitchen like fruits and dishes fell off the counters and I watched them slowly roll across the floor. Some of the apples were stomped on by the pirates hurrying to lower the sails and all I could think of was how it was such a waste of good food.

More shouting mainly in Isabela's voice came from the deck and I was certain that I heard a man yelling that one of the sails was lost when the ropes had snapped. The captain replied by reminding that it was just a piece of fabric, not a human life and I couldn't agree more.

All of a sudden I realized how valuable I could be. I glanced at my hands and sensed the magic in my mind, potent and powerful even without red lyrium. I remembered how I had shielded my leash and the soldiers from enemies more deadly than thunder and waves.

My fists balled and I marched to the stairs. Few men shot puzzled glances at me, but didn't make me stop. I was about to open the door when someone rushed inside with a pirate who had hit his head and was bleeding. Fortunately, they had no idea of me being a mage yet so I wasn't asked to heal the man. I was relieved, because I didn't want to disappoint them by revealing that I had no skill in such arts. My abilities were only meant to destroy and ensure victories.

I ran to the deck and spotted Isabela immediately behind the wheel. Her gaze followed me as I fought against the wind to get to her. She was frowning, but not furious.

"Honey, what are you doing here?!" she had to shout over the loud storm. "It's dangerous and quite cold as well, if you haven't noticed!"

The clothes I had received from Isabela provided more warmth and comfort than anything I had worn before, even after they got stuck on my body due to the rain. Cold weather wasn't an issue for me, so I gave her a smile as a message that I didn't mind. I couldn't hear her mumbling answer, but didn't saw her shoo me away either.

My fingers twitched and I got ready to show her what I could do with my magic for her, but my attention was taken by a figure far behind the ship. It was huge but concealed in darkness and no matter how I squinted, I couldn't get a clear visual of what it was. The rain blocked everything and kept slashing at my eyes, making me blink continuously.

"What are you looking at?" Isabela asked and stared in the same direction as I did, eying at me and the horizon. "Can you see something?"

A flash of lightning struck the ocean near the ghostly figure and my jaw dropped in horror. I could never mistake a qunari dreadnought when I saw one.

A lump like a stone rose to my throat and I forgot to breathe until Isabela grabbed my shoulder. "Reneka, what is it?" her voice was demanding. "Here, write with your finger on my palm and I'll guess the letters."

She gave her hand and waited for me to get a grip. I was too busy asking myself why the qunari were right behind us and kept doing so while I wrote the words 'qunari ship' on Isabela's wet palm.

I turned to look away for a moment to calm myself, but my head halted when I noticed Isabela's shocked expression, similar to what I had shown seconds ago. It was as if 'qunari ship' had been the last thing she had expected me to write.

"Well shit," she cussed and chewed her lower lip. "I had no idea that they would pursue us in this storm."

My brow lifted and I gave a quite perplexed leer at the captain. Logical thinking and strategy had been my strengths besides the title of a Saarebas. I was pretty good at reading people, because I couldn't have a proper conversation with them. Despite all that, I hadn't stopped to wonder why there had been human pirates on Orlesian land, especially when a qunari tribe had been invited there for a meeting.

"Sorry, sweetie," Isabela grinned as the wind tousled the soaked locks of her hair. "I thought we were safe and let you believe that."

What did you do, Isabela? I urged to ask her, feeling more frustrated than ever for my inability to speak. It was clear that her crew had caused the ruckus at my tribe. There was no other reason I could think of for the qunari to come after her.

Although I didn't want to recall any memories from my time with the qunari, I imagined the Arishok once more in my mind. I silently repeated his last orders in my head, the moment before he left to meet with the Orlesians. He had told us to prepare to leave once he had acquired the Tome of Koslun back. According to my Arvaarad it was a book containing sacred scriptures by the founder of the Qun.

My knowledge of pirates wasn't too great, but everyone knew they were thieves and treasure hunters, at least in stories. Tome of Koslun could be sold for a ridiculously high price outside the qunari lands, if there was a person mad enough to steal it.

I couldn't tear my gaze off Isabela's eyes. My escape and freedom were all thanks to her, but due to my rotten luck, I had picked the one and only ship that would be targeted by a qunari dreadnought full of soldiers to teach me what kind of fate awaited a rebellious Saarebas.