I sprang quickly to my feet, spinning around and spilling loose pieces of drawing paper across the pavement, my switchblade flying open with a satisfying click. The man standing in front of me smirked. There was only a bench and a few feet between us and I took slow, even breaths as I studied him. His face was clear of the trademark make-up, which, oddly enough, only made the facial scars more distinct and horrible looking since they were now part of an actual human rather than a costume. His long, greasy yellow-green hair was pulled back tightly underneath a baseball cap, but a few loose strands had escaped and dropped down over his eyes. He blinked out at me and smiled, revealing yellowed teeth. I tilted my head to one side and stared at him, mentally subtracting the scars and teeth and hair and coming to the disturbing conclusion that the Joker was actually a lot younger than he looked and that, if not for the physical and mental deformities, he had the potential to be rather attractive.

"It's not polite to stare." He said, breaking into my scattered thoughts. "It's the scars, right? Everyone wants to know about those. Everyone wants to stare." I took an involuntary step backwards as his whole persona suddenly shifted, his shoulders hunched, his eyes darkened, and his voice became a menacing purr. "I don't like it when people stare." He said, then preceded to stare at me, his eyes boring into mine.

"Don't talk to me about scars." I said, returning the stare and surprising myself by speaking with a level of clarity and volume that showed no trace of my inner fear. I let my pencil drop to the ground and tossed the knife from my left to my right hand for effect.

"Rrrright." The Joker said, putting emphasis on the t. "Put that knife down now girly. Don't want anyone losing an eye. Heh heh."

"The only one who would lose anything in a fight would be you, so back off." I growled, putting a little false bravado into my speech. This was a game after all and I could afford to be a bit showy. All fights were part physical strength and part mental aerobics, so it was no surprise that a good combination of both were required to win, or at least to get away with your hide mostly intact. Of course, I was fairly certain that my normal tactics would be useless against this creep but that wouldn't stop me from trying.

"Heheh… you're like a cat with all its fur puffed out." Joker giggled, then caught himself and took on a business-like tone. "It's a shame that you don't want to work for me." He rolled his eyes, looking me up and down. "There is pressure from the higher ups to bring on more women. Equal opportunity feminism crap." He made an annoyed clicking sound with his tongue, than burst out laughing. He stopped when he realized that I wasn't laughing with him.

"I see that the humor is lost on you. We're going to have to fix that. I simply refuse to work with someone who has no sense of humor." He grinned evilly. "You just don't smiiile enough."

"I smile plenty. Thanks." I bared my teeth at him in my own snarling grin.

The Joker shrugged. "Consider my offer. I'll get back to you in a week. Oh, and don't consider sneaking off. I'll know, and I'll find you." He tapped his head with one finger and grinned happily at me before he spun off. He hurried quickly away, running light and fast on the balls of his feet as though he were afraid that I was going to chase him. I actually considered it for a brief second, then shook my head, laughing softly. I was in a state of disbelief. Things like this just didn't happen in real life, it was insane.

I sighed and bent down to retrieve the joker card, bending the edges and cupping it tightly in my hand. I slowly turned it over. A small typed note written right in the margin of the card read: "here kitty kitty kitty". I bit my lip. The Joker knew who I was.