Wellity well well...hello everyone again! I'm so glad you've kept reading the story! Sorry it took me FOREVER to update...blame it on school. Whoever said school was cool sucks. They probably never went to it.

At any rate...here's the character list in case you forgot! And yes I did copy/paste it...like I'm typing all that again.

Aurora/Sleeping Beauty/Rose—Kagome
Her Dad, Stefan—Miroku
Her Mom—Kagura
Prince Philip—Inuyasha
The Friend of the Dad—Sango (ok it's a girl in this version, but remember the fat old guy that Aurora's dad was friends with? She's him but in girl and hotter form.)
Maleficent—Naraku
The Crow—Kikyo
The Random Evil Creatures—all Naraku's asexual children
Flora—Shippo
Fauna—Jakken
Meriwether—Sesshomaru
Prince Philip's Horse—Kouga
The Drunken Bard—Myoga
Random Forest Creatures—Any random people making cameos. Like Kanna.
The Owl—Rin
Random Villagers—Random…villagers. Did you expect something else?

Huzzah! Now, much like the movie, there's a 16 year time lapse to when Rose is all grown up. And in a cottage. With 3 frumpy women. Only in this case, she's 16 and in a cottage with 2 horny animal demons and 1 glorious demon sex god.

Chapter 2: Of Perverts and Postulations

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KAGOME!" Jakken and Shippo danced about in crazy western costumes, somehow convinced that they were sexier in them. The cottage had been decked out in dust, mildew and pin-ups for the occasion.

"Umm...thanks, but I'm not 16 till tomorrow. And weren't you supposed to be planning a surprise?" Kagome held up a paper saying "Top Secret KAGOME'S SURPRISE BIRTHDAY" with explicit footnotes describing where exactly they should place the British stripper. Remember, this IS a house filled with mostly guys.

"Well now you know. And we can give you your present." Sesshomaru held up a wand. "We give you the gift of lace." Suddenly Kagome was blasted by a gust that flipped up her skirt, exposing her now lacey panties. "All your underwear will be instantly transformed to sexy panties the second it touches your skin. Aren't you glad?" The delivery of the gift was made exceptionally creepy because his face was devoid of emotion.

"HEEEY!" Kagome fought with her skirt, which was refusing to stop billowing. "STOP IT!"

"Yeah, stop it, we agreed to give her unsurpassed sex knowledge!" This came from Jakken, who'd turned a bright red (Why? Look, just don't ask, you really don't want to know). Jakken pulled out his wand and waved it at Kagome, stopping the wind. A fuschia light surrounded her and she got a hazed look on her face. Her eyes widened as the pictures seeped into her brain, and she released a strangled noise.

"Oh, SICK, JAKKEN, WHY ARE YOU IN ALL THE DEMONSTRATIONS?" Jakken scuffed his feet and at least looked embarrassed.

Shippo emerged from the back of the cottage. "Hey, Kagome, if you don't like that, I got something in the back I wanna show you..."

Kagome shook her head wildly, dispersing the pink light. "OH, HELL no, I am getting out of here!" She streaked out the door (now now, I mean it like a lightning bolt, not naked, geez, pervs) and out of sight into the woods.

Sesshomaru just shrugged. "Well, at least my gift can never be taken away."

Shippo shrugged as well. "My gifts will be here when she comes back, and once she sees them, they'll NEVER leave her presence."

Jakken just sighed. "She destroyed my gift when she shook her head. Dammit."

Sesshomaru eyed his toad minion. "You are such a pervert. Even I don't stoop that low." Jakken whipped out his staff to burn Sesshomaru, but he was kicked in his toadiness before he could. "Tch. Suck it up," he said to a writhing Jakken. Shippo quietly backed away into his dank and dirty hole in the back of the cottage.

Kagome, meanwhile, had fled into the woods, trying to escape her mental burning. "Ugggggh...I can't believe I lived this long with those freaks." She saw a small bird and immediately went to go complain to it. "Why won't they let me meet anyone outside the stupid cottage? What are they so afraid of?" The bird chirped a bit, then flew away, only to return with an owl behind it. "Oh, um, hi there," Kagome greeted the owl, unsure of why the hell it was out in the middle of the day (or why it looked slightly drugged).

"Hoo hoo hoo hoo HOO!" The owl had a slightly deranged expression as it cocked its head at Kagome. Then it flew away, hitting a tree on its way and collapsing in a heap, never to move again. Kagome just stared at the owl and wondered why nothing in the forest was normal.

A little girl rushed out of the bushes. "Hey, I heard you were feeling sad. Do you want me to help you cheer up?" The girl was cute, with her hair half pulled up on the side of her head and a naturally perky demeanor.

"Sure," Kagome said, "anything would make me cheer up right about now. I'm Kagome, by the way."

"I'm Rin." Rin grabbed Kagome's hand and shook it. "Well, let me go get my stuff first." She dashed off into the woods. Kagome watched her leave, then tried to contend with the scarring mental images that kept surfacing.

...elsewhere...

Inuyasha was riding through the forest in an open carriage (hatchback? hackney? what is that thing?), casually whipping Kouga when he wouldn't obey. "Kouga! I said whoa!" He ripped off a passing branch and smacked Kouga over the head.

"I'll whoa when I damn well please, mutt!" He put in an extra burst of speed just to show off.

"Look, I won the bet, so you have to be my wolf bitch for a day!"

"I don't swing that way, okay?"

"WHAT! I didn't mean it like THAT, perv!"

"Look, I can't understand it any other way when you keep whipping me! What the hell do you want me to think!"

"Did you think I was coming on to you! HA! Not to you, that's for sure!"

Kouga slammed his feet into the ground, but the carriage continued to crash into him hard and run over him because of its momentum.

"KOUGA! Why did you not stop when I asked? Where the hell'd you go?" Inuyasha looked behind to see Kouga, unconscious, being dragged by the speeding carriage. Even in this sorry state Inuyasha couldn't resist baiting him. "Well at least that'll improve your face, you know, scrape some of that ugly off!" He started laughing like a loon. "Hahahahahahahaahahahahahaa--thunk" The carriage hit a tree, sending Inuyasha sailing off into the wilderness. Poetic justice much?

just a few hundred yards away...

Inuyasha crashlanded into a glen, bouncing on the ground a few times before coming to a rest. "Ohhhh...dammit...no human flesh for you, Kouga..." he moaned into the ground. He then passed out.

Rin came into the glen, singing an owly song in honor of the dead fowl she'd found. "Hoot hoot hoot, hooters are for ho's, hoot hoot hoot, fo sho." She neatly hurdled the passed out dog demon, then turned around to poke him. "What are you doing here, hoot?" Deciding that he wasn't going to respond, she proceeded to take his clothes, reasoning they would make Kagome happy. "Don't go around nude in public, hoot!" She skipped off again.

in the first part of the forest...

Kagome sat, staring at a leaf and twirling it in her boredom. "Sheesh, I wish there were some other guys in this stupid forest. That'd be awesome." She heard a noise and stood, examining the bushes to her right. Suddenly Rin burst through, holding Inuyasha's clothes. She thrust them at Kagome, and, once she had taken them, giggled and ran off.

Kagome stood there and tried to figure out where all the drugs in the forest where and why she couldn't find them. Obviously that had to be why everyone was so absofrigginlutely crazy. Then she tired of that train of thought and sat back down, looking at the clothes. "What kind of freak wears hammer pants," she said as she held them up. "The shirt thing's not bad, though." She took a sniff of the clothes. "Hm, do I detect Old Spice?" She smelled them again. "Or is that Axe? Tag?" She kept smelling the clothes, trying to figure out the scent.

Now imagine this.

You've just woken up to find yourself naked except for underwear that's a cloth wrapped around you over and over. Your head is pounding and you can't figure out why you're naked. You wander about 2 feet to the left and then see some chick smelling your clothes. Welcome to Inuyasha's world.

"What the HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Inuyasha ran in and snatched his clothes, which Kagome had used as a shield when he ran at her. She was screaming a lot too. "What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with ME? Why are you running around IN JUST UNDERWEAR?" Kagome turned bright red and covered her face.

"Well I wouldn't be running around in my underwear if you didn't have my clothes!" He put them back on, glaring at her huffily. "Why DID you have my clothes?"

"Rin gave them to me, okay? The little girl with the side ponytail." Kagome and Inuyasha were both composed enough to talk in normal voices now, although both still wouldn't make eye contact.

"Well, fine. I'll be going now." He turned around, but hesitated. "Wait a second..." He turned back and leaned down until he was 4 inches away from her face. "Why do I feel like I've smelled you before?" He bent down and leaned a bit closer, inhaling deeply.

Kagome blushed and leaned back on her log. "Quit smelling me, you perv!" Inuyasha exhaled sharply and glared at her again, straightening up. She stood up and looked around. "Well, um, I guess I'll be going now." Kagome just stood there. They stared at each other.

"...Are you planning on leaving anytime soon?" Kagome nodded and kept standing there. "...Are you lost?" She shook her head vehemently and started walking away.

Inuyasha followed her. "Now hang on, I know you're lost, because you're wandering toward Poo Lake, and no one wants to go there."

She stopped and turned. "Ok, fine, I'm lost, I don't know where the hell I am. I hate this stupid forest."

"Look, I'll lead you." He grabbed her hand and started leading her back. "Where do you live?"

"The cottage kinda near the middle of the forest."

Inuyasha nodded. "Yeah, I've heard of that cottage. Crazy parties galore." He stopped short, which caused Kagome to smack into him. "You LIVE THERE?"

"Yeah, well, the guys were pretty cool to me. I've lived there my whole life."

"Hm. Friggin weird."

"Oh it is NOT."

He eyed her. "Not that. THAT." He indicated with his head a small woodland band set up. All of Naraku's asexual children had set up a band and were playing "The Sleeping Beauty Waltz". Kageromaru was the conductor.

Kagome nearly went ballistic. "OMG I LOVE THIS SONG!" She grabbed hold of Inuyasha, forcing him to waltz with her. "I know you, I've walked with you once upon a dream..." She sang merrily as she whipped Inuyasha around. Suddenly she stopped and backed away as she realized what she was doing.

Inuyasha looked down at her, then put his arms around her in waltz position. "Shall we?" Kagome nodded and they waltzed for the whole song.

Once the band finally escaped (after Inuyasha and Kagome's pleas for them to stay and play more), the two stood facing each other, winded.

"Well, I guess I should really be going," Kagome said, finally breaking the silence and intense eye contact.

Inuyasha placed his hand gently on her arm. "Wait. I don't even know you're name."

"Well, you first."

He smiled. "Inuyasha."

"Kagome." She hesitated, then smiled and pulled her arm away. "I really must be going. The guys'll be going crazy about now."

"Can I see you tomorrow?"

"Well, they kinda sorta don't like me seeing strangers. I'm not supposed to talk to them, but hell, that's nearly impossible when they're all drunk and the police are coming from 3 acres over to complain about the noise." She noticed his slightly depressed expression. "It's not that I don't WANT to see you..."

He ran his hand down her jawline. "Please?"

Before Kagome could answer (or melt into a puddle), a "KRAAAAWWW!" issued from the woods, and a random arrow hit Inuyashsa and pinned him to an oak. He blinked a few times, then passed out. Kikyo crowed happily and ran about flapping her wings, taking off. The hunter who'd been trying to shoot her (she was eating all his crops)(his crops being babies) stormed off angrily.

"INUYASHA!" Kagome looked around frantically, trying to see if someone could help her. Then she steeled herself and got ready to pull the arrow out.

"NO!" Shippo, Jakken and Sesshomaru had just found her and saw what she planned to do. They were getting paid good porno to stop her from falling asleep and/or getting violated by Naraku.

But they were too late. Kagome fell over, dead asleep. Inuyasha slid down the tree and stood up, stretching from his 20 second nap. Then he noticed Kagome. "What the hell happened?"

Sesshomaru glided up to his brother and picked up his ward defensively. "None of your concern, half brother." Inuyasha eyed his brother, who was still in the blue Meriwether dress. Jakken waggled his stick, Shippo kicked Inuyasha in the shin, and all three raced off into the forest.

Inuyasha just stared at them. "What the HELL is wrong with them?"

"Do you not seriously not remember?" Naraku emerged from a bush, dressed in a black cape with a rather odd head adornment (like Maleficent's). "I thought dog demons had great memories, but I guess you can't teach an old dog new tricks." He guffawed at his joke. Crickets started going off somewhere.

"What ARE you talking about?" Inuyasha had his hand on Tetsusaiga and was prepared to spring.

"Look, unless she gets the kiss of her true love, she's stuck asleep forever. Why the hell I'm telling you that, I have no idea. Maybe I just don't give a damn anymore. Maybe since you forgot how you met her, you'll forget this too." Naraku warped away, leaving a confused Inuyasha.

3 hours later...in twilight...(not the book though that was AMAZING!)

Inuyasha finally caught on. "WAIT! I've met her before?" He walked off, musing to himself. "Hmm...wait! I need to get Kouga and ride to her rescue!" Luckily he had just arrived at Kouga's still passed out form. "KOUGA!" He picked up the prone body and whacked it a couple of times.

"What he HELL do you want, mutt?" Kouga kicked his way out of Inuyasha's grip and stood angrily.

"How do you feel about riding to the hottest girl ever's rescue?"

"That depends, do I get her?"

Inuyasha scoffed and saddled Kouga up. "Of course not." Kouga just sighed and wished for the day to be over so he could stop obeying his dog oppressor.

They raced away into the night, unaware that a trap was awaiting them at the cottage...

And that's the end of chapter 2! Thanks for reading and reviewing (cuz I know you'll do that ;) you nice ppl)!

And here's an extra bonus...this is where Naraku's looking for Kagome in order to make her go pull the arrow out (aka in the movie where Maleficent is talking to her minions trying to locate Rose to make her prick her finger).

Minion 1: We've looked everywhere, and still can't find her.

Naraku: Well how hard can she be to find, I mean, doesn't she text message everyone? Can't you trace that?

Minion 2: Text message...?

Naraku: You know what, never mind. Where have you been looking?

Minion 1: Well we've searched every cradle.

Naraku: ...Every...CRADLE?

Minion 2: Yep, every single one, even the ones that were being destroyed in fires across the country to keep us away from houses. Got 3rd degree burns.

Naraku: You do realize that's she's 16 now, don't you?

Minions 1/2: ... do humans...age faster than demons?

Naraku: Oh God, what the hell do they teach you all in human ed?

Minion 1: We don't go to school.

Minion 2: You canceled it since it was too expensive.

Naraku: Well, ladies and gentlemen, I guess this is what you would call irony. Do you know what irony is?

Minion 1: Uhh...something to do with iron?

Naraku: Welcome to my world of incompetance.

Kikyo: KRAW! (streaks nakedly about)

Naraku: Shut the hell up, Kikyo.

Hooray! Read and review please!