Brian had known what pain was from an early age, his first memory of feeling pain was when his parents first started arguing, before finally settling for a divorce when he turned 8. There were the fights in the school play ground, the bigger fights on the streets, and Rome being put behind bars, turning his head and blaming him for it. But this was a pain in which he had never felt before, it was a deep throbbing pain, it literally cut him to the bone, he couldn't sleep, or think straight, every thought he had went straight back to his friends.

Mia was snuggled tightly in his side, her hair fanned out onto his chest, one hand laying limply over his stomach, it was at moments like this that he felt secure, that no matter what was happening in his life, he would look back at times like this and remember how it felt and just allow his self to float in the feeling. But lying there with her in his arms, he felt nothing, he just felt numb, he wanted to feel something, anger, hatred, pain, loss, anything that would let him know that he was still functioning on a normal human level, but there was nothing, and the more he pushed himself the less he felt.

"You ok Bri?" Mia questioned her eyes still closed, she moved her hand circling over his stomach, her hand resting on his hip bone. Brian moved, twisting his body so he was leaning into her slightly, hearing her sigh throwing over a naked leg, wrapping it around his own.

She could tell he was agitated, he normally slept like the dead, but now he was tossing and turning, his breathing was laboured and at times erratic, she could almost hear the clogs turning in his head, could feel the pain emitting from him.

"Im ok" He replied, wrapping his arms tightly around her body, he held her close to his body, his head resting on top of her own, he lowered his head, placing a kiss to the top of her head, he just wanted the pain to go away, hell he wanted to the feel the pain, he wanted to be able to feel so he could deal with it, this numbness was worse then any pain he had dealt with before.

"Bri talk to me" She begged finally opening her eyes so she could look up at him, it was hard to do because his face was obscured by her main of dark hair, but what little of his face she could see, she could tell he was struggling with his emotions, his eyes were scrunched tightly closed, and she could see loose tears trailing down his face.

"Just got back to sleep Mia" He whispered, his throat clogged with tears, he took in a deep breath, slowly letting it out. Mia sighed to herself, she had known Brian wouldn't have said to anything to her, she knew he didn't hold anything important from her, that he no longer lied to her about anything, but she knew that when it came to his feelings, he just didn't let her in, not like she wanted him to.

She shook her head, finally allowing her body to relax, she leant into him, giving him all her warmth, there was nothing else she could do, she was just going to have to be there for him, let him know that he wasn't alone in any of this.

Mia busied herself about the kitchen, the pan clattered to the floor nosily and she cursed, shaking her head as she bent to pick it up, her mind was so focused on Brian that she wasn't even aware of what she was doing, she was just on auto pilot.

"You ok?" Mia lifted her gaze to see that the entire team were stood in the kitchen looking at her with worried gazes, she smiled over at her brother, nodding her head as she placed the pain back onto the table. Sighing she ran a hand through her hair and turned to the sink, pulling out the plug and allowing the water to drain.

"So where's the busta?" Vince questioned walking into the kitchen and seating himself down at the kitchen table, his gaze lifting so he was looking at Mia, he titled his head smirking, trying to get her to smile, normally it worked, this time however she just gave him a tired look.

"He's headed to the hospital to pick up October" She replied looking over at Vince, giving him an annoyed look as she placed a plate of food in front of him, he smiled up at her, touching her hand softly, she sighed, nodding her head as she leant against the counter top.

"He's bringing her back here" Leon questioned, leaning against the wall, he was looking directly at Mia, his gaze showing worry and concern as he looked at her, she seemed tired, he wasn't surprised if she hadn't slept the night before.

"Yea, she's still pretty banged up, I think you know its going to help them both deal" Leon smiled nodding his head, shaking his head ever so slightly, Mia had always been the same, she always put every one else before herself, making sure that other people were ok, and then, and only then would seen allow herself to deal with anything, It had been the same after the heists, she had helped every one else, before she allowed herself to grieve.

"You really think that's going to help" Jesse questioned walking into the kitchen and over to Mia, Mia looked over at him, nodding her head, she smiled touching his shoulder. He had always been so sweet and caring, and after the heists and the shooting his feelings for others had increased, he was so in touch with how every one felt.

"I hope so, because its all ive got" She replied shaking her head in anguish, she didn't know how to help him, and that thought alone was killing her. With the team after the heists, it had been easy, sure they had been fractured, but there was still that deep connection that they all shared and the understanding that everything would be ok sooner or later. But this it was just different, Mia didn't know how to help him, didn't know how to help him rebuild the whole that was now filling his heart.

She knew so little about the relationship that he had shared with Tate, and Gage, he hardly spoke about them, but from the things she had learned she was pretty sure that the relationship they shared was similar to the one that the team shared.

Mia looked round at her family, taking in their faces, they were all sat around the table laughing, talking and being the way they always had been, the way things had once been before the heists had gone wrong. They were a family again and Mia knew if she lost any one of them, she didn't think there would be anything any one could do to make her feel better either, and the thought that she couldn't help Brian broke her heart, she didn't think she could deal with the pain of seeing the look in his eyes any longer.

Brian walked down the corridor, his gaze taking in the whiteness of the walls, the sterile smell in the air. The nurse at the desk said October was in the end room and he was slowly nearing it, his heart was in his throat, beating erratically the closer he got. He wasn't sure if he wanted to go into that room to see that look on her face, see the pain that he saw every time he looked in the mirror.

He let out a slow shaky breath as he brought his hand up to knock on the door, he heard the soft come in and pushed the door open.

She was seated in the middle of the bed, her knees drawn to her chest, arms wrapped tightly around them. Her blonde hair was pulled loosely in a bun, hair framing her face. She didn't move at the sound of the door opening but he saw the flicker in her eyes.

He bit his lips her gaze taking in the cut above her eye, the bruising around it, her wrist was bandaged, legs scrapped.

"Hey" His voice was soft as he made his presence known, within two swift strides he was at her side, his arms wrapping around her tightly, pulling her towards him, her head resting against his chest, hands resting on the back of her head.

"Bri" Her voice broke as she chocked back a sob, her hand tangling in his chest, he could feel her nails dig into his chest, pulling at his shirt. The shaking of her shoulders let him know she was crying he could feel the tears leaking gradually on to his shirt.

"Shhh……I got you its ok" He felt her shake her head, pulling away ever so slightly, her tear stained cheek looking at him, blue eyes sparkling with tears.

"There gone" She chocked, Brian nodded his head softly touching her cheek, she rested her head into it, letting out a slow breath. He nodded his head, keeping down his own emotions, he didn't want to break, not in front of her, not yet. He had always been the strong one, and he was going to be again.

"I know"