Chapter 2

After such positive feedback I decided to continue with the story! I hope you like it!

This chapter was inspired by Meredith Grey's speech (Grey's Anatomy) 'You don't get to call me a whore'.

Again all reviews are welcome!


It had been three days. Three days since Oliver saw her… She couldn't even say it, couldn't even think it and she hated herself for letting him get under her skin like that. They weren't together; oh he had made sure of that, so for her to feel so…so guilty was crazy.

'Damn it Felicity! Snap out of it!' She almost whispered to herself.

But her heart wanted to make sure that he was okay and she hadn't been able to do that. Right after the meeting she had been swamped with questions from the Board and he had slipped out when his phone rang and didn't return. And since then, almost every time they were both in the lair he seemed so focused on whatever was going on in the city that it seemed silly to bring it up. So she mostly stayed quiet and focused on the job. Well tried to anyway.

She had tried to say something a few times. She remembered clearly a couple of days before when she had turned around in her chair and was watching Oliver help Roy train. She waited until Roy had gone upstairs to help Thea before saying anything.

Oliver was still working out when she called his name 'Oliver?'

He stopped for a second before continuing his exercise as if telling her to go on.

'What you saw… I mean what happened back at the company, I didn't…'

Before she could say more Oliver had started shaking his head.

'You can do whatever you want Felicity' He said before he went back to practicing his punching skills. His tone told her he didn't want to talk about it, but she wanted, she needed to say more.

'Oliver…' She started again, but could not get his attention. She had felt tears well up in her eyes and she hated herself for it. She wanted to shake him, to make him listen, to make him understand. But what could she say?

It wasn't long before he left her there not even bothering to say goodbye.

Since that moment she tried talking to him a couple more times, but he just kept the same attitude towards her.

She couldn't take it anymore.

Snapping out of her daydream, she could hear Oliver and Diggle talk quietly while sparring behind her and she frowned, wondering what was going on. They had been acting strange since they got back, but hadn't mentioned anything to her. They were supposed to be a team. More than team Arrow. The three of them were a little unit supporting each other. But now it seemed like Oliver and Diggle were one team and she was on the outside looking in.

She busied herself running a search for some leads they had, while trying to cheer herself up. She felt her hands run smoothly across the keyboard doing what she knew how to do best and relaxed slightly. This at least she had control over.

It wasn't long after that Roy, Laurel and Thea came in, apparently having been summoned to the foundry by Oliver.

'So why did you drag me here so early? I have work to do back at the office. Apparently that man you saw last night running out of the Starling Bank was also caught fleeting a couple more crime scenes. Maybe I can find something in the police files.' Laurel asked seeming frustrated. Since Sarah's death she seemed to have taken it upon herself to fight all the crime in Starling. Felicity felt sad for her, she didn't even want to imagine what she was going through.

'Yeah Ollie and I have to get back upstairs to the club! My barman bailed on me so I got to find someone to replace him before we open tonight!' Thea chipped in.

Oliver, however, was standing quietly by the medical bay and the others slowly stood around him. He seemed to wait for them to settle down before he spoke up. Felicity stood on his left hand sight, with Diggle on his other side and Roy on hers. Thea and Laurel stood opposite Oliver, now quietly waiting for him to talk. She tried not to take it personally when he flinched as she moved to stand by him.

'I know what we said happened in Nanda Parbat wasn't very clear.' He started

'You think?' Roy sniggered, but stopped seeing the look on Diggle's face.

'Ra's wants me to take his place.' Oliver continued. He just wanted it out there; he wanted them to know the secret that he was keeping so he went straight to the point.

The others around him looked at him dumfounded. Roy just stared and Thea and Laurel looked like they wanted to say something, but didn't know how. He couldn't even bare to look at Felicity next to him. They seemed to have the same reaction he had when Ra's told him his offer.

'I said I'll think about it. That in any case I needed some time to get everything in order if I was going to accept.' He continued.

'Accept?' Said Felicity quietly.

Oliver continued, ignoring her.

'I'm not sure what I'm going to say yet. I wanted to have a chance to think about it before I said anything to you. But..I'm thinking I might say yes. If I go, Thea you'll be safe. Malcolm will take care of you if anything comes up. Ra's will stop hunting us, will leave Starling alone. And I have faith that you'll be able to protect my city in the future. From there I will have more power to make a bigger difference. To protect more innocent people.'

'You've got to be kidding me!' Thea argued. 'You think that this is how you keep me safe? You are all the family I have left!'

'Ollie you can't! We need you!' Laurel chipped in.

Roy, who had stayed quiet till that moment spoke up. 'Oliver, I'm not saying it's not your decision to make. Don't get me wrong. But Thea needs you. We all need you. You can't just run away!'

'Oliver, he's right man. I know we talked about it before, but I still don't understand why would Ra's Al Ghul offer you his place instead of giving it to Nyssa. She's his daughter Oliver. He must have more reasons than just that his daughter has feelings and desires every human has. I think he's playing us and we need to think about how to handle this rather than you just doing exactly what he wants.'

Felicity was no longer paying attention to the discussion around her. Her ears were ringing. And all she could think about was that she couldn't have heard him right. Was he…was he saying he was leaving? Leaving them? Leaving her?

'So you are leaving me? I mean us? I mean the team?' She said, her mouth getting ahead of her yet again.

She took a deep breath to steady herself as Oliver regarded her quietly. He never did respond when she was making a fool of herself, but the corners of his mouth would usually turn up as if he couldn't help himself. And he would, if he felt she needed him to, stop her for making a complete fool of herself.

But now he just seemed impassive yet again. She couldn't quite pinpoint it but she felt like he had an air of indifference about him. And in fact as soon as she closed her mouth he turned back to the others, as if she hadn't spoken in the first place and continued arguing.

She couldn't help herself. She wanted to scream so badly. She took a step forward and put her hand on his shoulder. Oh how much she had missed his touch and now he was telling her that he was thinking about leaving for good. Her brain refused to process this. She took a deep breath before getting back to the point 'So you are just going to leave? Become Ra's Al Ghul and we'll never see you again?'

'What do you want me to tell you Felicity?' He said taking a step back, a step away from her touch so her hand fell to her side.

She just gaped at him. What did she…?

'There's nothing left for me here.' He snapped looking at her, looking into her eyes as if he was saying 'There's nothing left for me if I don't have you'.

'Oliver!' Diggle exclaimed as if chastising him for the way he was talking to their friend.

Oliver took a deep breath before he continued. 'And this way you'll be safe. You'll always be safe'.

His voice was quiet at the end as if he only wanted her to hear the pain and anger and sadness all mixed into one. He didn't want to look at her, talk to her, have anything to do with her. If he let himself listen to Felicity, Felicity who was his voice of reason and hope he would never go. But she was not that Felicity anymore and he had to get her out of his head. He hated himself for it, but he felt angry towards her, betrayed even.

He turned back to the others that had now stopped talking and were just staring at the pair.

'No.' He suddenly heard her say. Her voice was no longer weak, pleading. It had a strange kind of steel in it. Before he knew it he had turned back towards her and was looking straight into her eyes again.

'No.' She repeated. 'You don't get to blame it on me. You don't get to see me move on and judge me. You don't get to stop being my friend, wanting my advice, listening to what I'm telling you because I refuse to see you, no no, to let you, die. I've said it before and I'm saying it again.

I never stopped hoping that when you left you weren't dead. You keep telling me you love me, but you won't stop leaving me. You keep leaving me Oliver. You think you are protecting me but the truth is YOU are the one who's hurting me, who's been hurting me all this time. What I did with all the broken pieces you left behind is my problem. I will not apologise for moving on.

You don't get to hurt me again. No. If you want to die Oliver you don't get to pin it on me this time. This time it's because you chose to die, you chose to let go. You don't get to blame it on me.'

She didn't plead, she didn't yell, she didn't cry. Her voice was strong, steady, surprising even herself. She was so angry at him for not taking responsibility for his own actions. For believing he made decisions for the good of others, but never bothering to actually ask them what they thought. She had felt so hopeless over the past few months. So lost. It was good to be in control again, to be able to call the shots for once. To not feel that she was held responsible for something she would never want to happen.

The team was looking at her as she finished talking, an awkwardness spreading in the air. She couldn't bear looking at him, listen to him or be in the same room as him any longer. She just turned on her heels, picked up her bag and walked out, closing the door of the lair loudly behind her.

It took Oliver some time to realise what had happened. He wanted to stop her so badly, but he didn't know what to say to her.

He sat down at her chair and looked at the fern she gave him all those months ago that was now almost dead, putting his head in his hands. He felt Diggle's hand squeeze his shoulder, a sign that he was there for him and he was grateful that he knew that Diggle would never judge him, but stood by him and helped him find the right path.

Yet all Oliver could think about was Felicity's words. That lately he was seeing a different Felicity. A Felicity who in so many ways was stronger than he was. Who spoke her mind, consequences be damned.

And who, no matter how much he hated to admit, could still see right through him.