He Told Her Not To Drink That Cocktail...

Part 2

Two hours later...

"Hey Doc!" called Jack cheerfully, walking into the console room.

"Jack!" the Doctor exclaimed, turning around. "There you are. I want a word with you."

"It's you, you can have several."

"Just to warn you, I'm very angry."

"Hmm, that could be kinda hot..."

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Jack."

"What's up?"

"Rose," the Doctor declared.

"Oh yeah, how is she?" Jack grinned knowingly.

"You know very well. Why did you tell her to drink that cocktail? She's only gone and ingested enough Eroa to last her a week."

"Well, you'll just have to help her out with that, won't you?" smirked Jack. "Surprised you haven't already," he added, realising that the Doctor gave no impression that he'd been...well. Dancing with Rose.

"Don't be ridiculous. Anyway, why did you do it?" he asked him irritably.

"I've been watching you two mentally undress each other for...well, god knows how long, but it's too long. I thought you needed a prod in the right direction."

"You talk utter rubbish," insisted the Doctor, shaking his head ruefully.

"Like hell I do. You're the ones always lying about your feelings."

"Jack, the long and short of it is, Rose is in her room feeling incredibly..." he faltered.

"Hot for you?" supplied Jack.

The Doctor glared at him. "And she's going to be like that..."

"- Hot for you - " he interjected again.

"...for days. I don't have an antidote and so she's going to have to put up with it."

"Doctor. You do have an antidote."

He frowned. "No, I don't. Funnily enough, I wasn't prepared for that to happen."

Jack stepped closer to him. "I don't mean medicine..." he murmured in a hushed tone. "You know what you have to do to make her feel better."

"Jack, that doesn't counteract it," replied the Doctor, considering the prospect in his mind before reminding himself that no I can't because it's not right and I've already denied her that anyway so stop contemplating it because it ain't. gonna. happen.

"No, but it'd make it easier to bear. You'll just have to exercise that wonderful stamina of yours for seven days, and that way, she won't want to kill you before the end of the week."

"It's not my fault; it's yours, so she'll want to kill you."

"No, because it's not me that's rejecting her, is it?" Jack countered.

"If I could help her, I would," he said carefully. "But..."

"But you won't do that," Jack finished.

"It's not fair on her," the Doctor justified in the face of Jack's tutting.

"Why isn't it?"

"Because," he paused, swallowing thickly. "Because it would be like taking advantage of her."

Jack rolled his eyes. "She wants it anyway," he told him.

The Doctor's brow crinkled. "Yes, because she's been given an aphrodisiac! Because of you, I hasten to add!"

His friend rolled his eyes again. "No, I mean, she'd want it even if she hadn't been. That only helps things along..."

The Time Lord's eyebrows shot up. "What?"

"Oh come on, don't tell me you don't notice it. The way she looks at you."

He didn't reply, simply averted his gaze, a frown on his face as he took in Jack's words.

"And the way you look at her makes it very obvious you want to too," continued Jack.

The Doctor's head snapped back up. "What?" he repeated.

Jack raised a disbelieving eyebrow, and the Doctor shook his head rapidly.

"No! No I don't. I don't know where you got that idea from..." he mumbled, spinning around to fiddle with the console.

"You are such a liar."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"She's my friend, Jack."

"Your best friend."

"Exactly."

"Who you want to sha - "

"Jack!"

"It's true though."

"No, it isn't," the Doctor insisted.

"Yes it is."

"Oh, shut up."

"No. You want to do more than hug her and hold her hand. Admit it," Jack pestered.

"Nonsense. I'm a - "

" – now don't you give me all that 'I'm a Time Lord, so I don't do or want that' crap. You and I both know that even if that's been the case before, it certainly isn't now. She's different."

"She's my friend," the Doctor said again, because he could think of no alternative comeback. Jack was right, after all.

"She's way more than that. And you know it. So why can't you just take this opportunity to tell her?"

"There is nothing to tell. And anyway, she's not in her right mind."

"Doesn't mean she won't remember when she's back to normal."

"Beside the point," the Doctor sighed.

"Just do what she needs you to do, Doctor. Stop messing around. Stop analysing it so much. It's not taking advantage if she wants it just as much as you."

"Jack, just drop it, ok? She'll recover fine on...well," he coughed awkwardly. "On her own. I'm not going to get involved."

"You're insane."

"Thankyou."

"No, really. You're insane. You have the chance to make love to Rose Tyler, like you've wanted to do for bloody years, and you're going to abandon that because you think it's better to be a gentleman and let her get on with it herself? Are you completely deranged? If it was me she was after - "

" - but it's not, is it?" the Doctor snapped irritably.

Jack grinned. "Oh, there we go."

"What?" he replied, shifting uncomfortably.

"Nothing," Jack smirked. Right, time to take a different approach. "You know, you're right. I don't think you should get involved."

"What?" He almost sounded disappointed, Jack thought. In fact, he did.

"I think I should." Jack smiled triumphantly, and laughed internally at the reaction his words got.

"What?" the Doctor shrieked, in a way that was entirely undignified.

"Well, look at me. I'm not you, but I'll do. And I have an excellent, experienced reputation. She'd be sorted in ten minutes. Maybe even five."

Jack didn't miss the look of horror flit across the Doctor's face. Or the way his jaw clenched. Or the way his hands were gripping the edge of the console so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. And, Jack thought, maybe the reason he wasn't saying anything in response to what he'd just said was because he couldn't. He looked like he was going to explode.

"And I'm willing to do anything and everything it takes to help her. Guess that's what friends are for, right? And I'm certainly not considering losing this one and only chance to become acquainted with her - "

" - Stop it," the Doctor interrupted, grounding the two words out harshly.

"What's that?" Jack asked innocently.

"Stop it. Don't...don't even think of..." he replied heatedly.

Jack chuckled and folded his arms proudly. "And why not?"

"Just don't," he said, glaring at him.

"But why not?"

"Because...just because."

"It'd be taking advantage?" Jack guessed.

"Yes."

"But she needs it. I'd be doing her a favour by...well, by doing her." He grinned even in the face of the stormy look he was being given by the Time Lord. He now knew where the Daleks had got the whole 'Oncoming Storm' idea from. Man, could this man cast a death glare. Especially, it seemed, if his friend was talking about sleeping with his other friend (whom he was in love with.)

"Jack," the Doctor said shortly.

"Doctor," he countered, amusement heavy in his voice.

"It would...it would still be using her, though. You can't just...she's your friend...you can't just...she's...she's..." Mine.

"She's not mine to help. She's yours. That what you're trying to say?" Jack smirked.

"No! No, of course not." Yes.

"You're lying again."

"Oh, for goodness's sake!" Why could Jack read him like a book?

"Right, let's bring together all the evidence," Jack said, as if trying to solve a mystery. "You and her have barely been apart since you kidnapped her all those years ago - "

" – I did not kidnap her," the Doctor sighed wearily.

"Exactly! She wanted to come with you. Ooh! Did you hear that? I didn't even mean to do that, but doesn't that sentence sound like it could fit very well in this current situa - "

" – Jack!" he exclaimed furiously.

Jack laughed heartily. "Anyway, on with my deduction. So, you're always together, mostly always touching in one way or another – evidently, the pair of you have little concept of 'personal space.'" The Doctor looked ready to butt in again, but Jack continued quickly. "Which is as much to be expected, considering how smitten you are. You act like a couple of teenagers - "

He did interrupt here. " – No we don't!"

"And you are completely infatuated with the way she walks, talks, looks – everything. And I'm hardly naive enough to think that that's purely physical attraction, because it's more than that with you."

The Doctor couldn't speak at that, his mouth had suddenly gone dry.

"And she's the same with you. Don't pretend you don't know how she feels about you," Jack ordered.

"I..." he began.

"And don't pretend you don't feel the same way. You get completely jealous when anyone that's not you even talks to her, let alone suggests the things I was suggesting I should do with her earlier."

"I don't get jealous," he muttered.

"And your eyes light up when she laughs at something you've said."

"It's nice to hear her laugh," he sniffed indignantly.

"And your chest puffs up with pride when she's amazed by some wonderful planet you've shown her."

"Well, I suppose I'm too egocentric, then."

"It's not that. It's about making her happy. Because in your opinion – and in mine – she's the most deserving person of this fantastic way of living you've given her in the whole universe, and you can't wait to see her smile at the brilliance of it all, just to know she's happy. With you."

"With this life," the Doctor mumbled.

"With you," Jack corrected.

The Doctor walked over to the console screen and began to pretend to read it as a distraction.

"You're practically a couple."

The Doctor didn't flinch. Only one thing to do. He was going to ignore Jack. So, he deliberately didn't even flinch. He wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

"You are, though. All the evidence points to it. You're definitely almost a couple. Just without the sex. Which means you really are a couple. One of the old and married variety."

"Thought you said we were teenagers," the Doctor grumbled, decidedly sulkily.

"Yeah, well, teenagers would be far happier to jump into bed with someone like Rose Tyler at the first chance they got. You're acting like an old man. Actually, I suppose you are an old man. Are you even capable anymore? Has it been a while? Is that why you're so reluctant? Are you scared you'll disappoint her?" Jack smirked.

The Doctor glared at the screen in front of him, but said nothing.

Jack waited a few moments, then went back to his previous argument when he realised that this one wasn't going to provoke a reaction. "So, you're a couple, yeah? We agree on that at least?"

How the hell can he ignore such a persistent man? It's ridiculous. The Time Lord sighed. "If you want to put it like that," he half-admitted.

Jack smiled. "Exactly," he paused, thinking over how to phrase his next point. "And yet you don't want to have sex with her," he concluded, not believing a word of it.

The Doctor swallowed nervously and tugged his ear, still staring at the screen rather than at Jack.

"Well, Doctor?" Jack prompted.

"Just leave it, Jack. She'll be fine."

"That's not what I asked."

"You didn't ask anything. You simply stated a point."

Jack rolled his eyes. "Alright then. So, here's the question. Was my point wrong?"

The Doctor sighed and turned to look at his friend. He rubbed his eyes tiredly before answering him. "Maybe," he confessed. No use going on denying it to Jack. He'll never give up otherwise.

Jack beamed at him. "Finally, we're getting somewhere! So, go get her!"

"Jack, just because maybe, just maybe, there's a teeny, tiny, little bit of me that wants to do exactly that, it doesn't mean I can."

It was Jack's turn to sigh impatiently. "Why not?" he whined.

"I've been telling you that for the past ten minutes! It's not fair on her."

"Bollocks. What's not fair on her is you making her wait and wait and wait, hoping you'll do what you both want and initiate the next part of your relationship, even though she thinks you'll never do that because of your stupid, proud principles!"

"Did she say that?" the Doctor can't help but ask. "Does she really think that's why I..." he trailed off, embarrassed by his obvious anxiety at the prospect.

"She'll stay with you forever. With or without more. That's what she said," Jack told him.

The Doctor opened and closed his mouth, but found he had no words to say to that. Eventually, he wheezed out an "Oh..."

"Yes. 'Oh...'" Jack replied.

"Um...so...so she does actually, you know...she'd actually quite like to..." the Doctor asked, stumbling over his words. He was vaguely mortified that he was asking Jack this, but his need for a definite answer rather than Jack's earlier teasing as confirmation was strong enough to override his humiliation.

"Of course she does. I already told you that," Jack laughed.

"You could have been lying. Joking around. You could still be doing that, actually," the Doctor replied, frowning.

"But I'm not."

"Right."

"Doctor, please, just do it," begged Jack.

"Do what?"

They both spun around in the direction of a very familiar female voice.