Chapter 2

So I finally trudged home, sore, bleeding covered in mud from where a skip had managed to toss me off the front porch when I'd tried my usual rebonding speech. Of course, he was three times my size and would have given Tank a run for his money in terms of sheer bulk, but he was all flab and sagging rolls of fat rather than piles of muscles buffed up with lemon scented Pledge.

I got the bastard in the end, but I was bruised and bloody.

Bobby and Les were making themselves right at home when I finally dragged myself into my lackluster apartment.

"Bomber!" Bobby said as he leapt to his feet and hurried over to me. "What happened?"

"I suck at this job is what happened," I said tiredly.

I tried to push Bobby's hands away but he was insistent, finally scooping me up into his arms and carrying me into the bathroom to clean me up when he got tired of me trying to push him away. He stripped me down to my undies, and suddenly I was very glad that I'd gone with a cute set of periwinkle satin and lace rather than the plain granny panties and sports bra I'd worn yesterday. A girl has to have her standards, even if nothing more than a wound check would happen.

Bobby sucked in a breath when he saw the deep gouges on my arm and shoulder where I'd crashed against the rotting wood of the side of the porch. "Get a shower and then I need to clean out and stitch up those wounds," he ordered.

I nodded and shoved him out of the bathroom. "I love you a lot, but I'm not getting completely naked in front of you!" I called out through the bathroom door.

I heard Les laughing. "What about me, Beautiful? Could I get you naked?" he called out.

"Not even Justin Timberlake could get me naked right now!" I retorted as I started humming 'Rock Your Body'.

Les laughed harder and then the rush of the water drowned out his merriment.

Twenty minutes later, I was wrapped in a pair of towels, one around my body and one corralling my wild hair, and I scampered into my bedroom to put on clothes. I pulled on a tank top that exposed most of my arm and shoulder where the worse of the damage was and a pair of lounge pants.

Bobby was waiting by the door with his medic bag when I reluctantly opened it a minute later.

He had me lay down on the bed and he tucked a couple of towels around me as he set about cleaning out the miscellaneous crap that had been ground into the scratches.

Les was holding my hand and laughing at the words coming out of my mouth. "You sure you were never in the Navy? 'Cause you sure sound like a sailor."

"Screw you, Santos! It hurts!"

Les started running his hands through my hair to distract and comfort me. He knew me too well. It worked as well as anything can work when someone's pouring battery acid on your skin and then scrubbing it with a wire brush. And I'm almost positive that was what Bobby was doing.

He said he was going to numb the skin first. My skin wasn't numb, it was on freaking fire!

Finally, Bobby had put in the last stitch for two especially bad cuts and had used butterfly bandages on the rest. Then he covered the whole thing with a big cotton bandage and wrapped gauze around my chest and shoulder to hold it in place.

I winced when he pulled it against my ribs, and of course eagle eyes caught it. "Ribs hurt too?" he asked as he unwrapped the gauze so he could poke and prod on my ribs.

"Just a little from how I landed. They aren't broken though, just a little bruised," I promised.

"Hmm," Bobby replied noncommittally.

I was almost ready to find my gun when he finally finished poking on me. I'm not sure whether I was going to shoot him or me, but one of us would be dead. And I'd be out of my misery either way.

"I think you're right. Just bruised, maybe pulled an intercostals muscle or two," he said. "But nothing feels broken."

Oh thank you, God! That meant he'd hopefully stop poking at my ribs now.

He rewrapped the gauze and then handed me a couple of pill bottles a minute later. "Mild painkillers, muscle relaxants for the pulled muscles and antibiotics for the cuts, just in case I didn't get all the trash out. Take one of each now, and then follow the directions on the bottles for the rest. Be sure you take all of the antibiotics, every single one of them, and use a backup method if you're on the pill."

I snorted. No worries there. I was pretty sure my shower massager wasn't capable of getting me pregnant despite the action it was seeing with both Joe and Ranger gone.

I dutifully took all three horse pills with the bottle of water Les handed me and then the two of them hauled me out of bed and deposited me gently on the couch. Bobby wrapped a blanket around me and pulled my feet into his lap while Les heated up the pizza that had gone cold while Bobby played medic.

"So you want to tell me why you didn't call us for help?" Les said once I was happily eating the pizza one handed.

"File said he weight 140 pounds. Must have been a typo, the guy was easily 440. It was like taking on Jabba the Hutt," I muttered.

"You need some help getting him?" Bobby asked.

I smiled. "Nope. He's already sitting in jail, waiting for his testicles to descend."

"Beautiful, why don't you come work with us? Then you'll always have backup if you need to blow the hell out of the death star," Lester asked after he winced.

I turned to look at him. "I'm pretty sure that job offer isn't on the table anymore, guys."

Bobby and Lester shared a look that I couldn't read. I hate it when they do that!

"Why do you think that?" Bobby asked.

I shrugged and then winced when it hurt. "Well, I haven't heard the word boo from Ranger since Joe and I split up. Not that it's totally out of the ordinary for him to vanish when I'm single, but at least I usually see him a little. The fact that I haven't seen him at all for six weeks makes it pretty clear that he doesn't want to see me, so why would I want to work for him?"

"You haven't seen him at all?" Les asked in shock.

I nodded. "Nothing more than a quick glimpse since word got out about me and Joe," I confirmed.

They shared a look again. "Stop it!" I demanded. "Just say it out loud so the non-ESP people can know what's going on too."

Les shook his head. "I've seen the Turbo in the parking lot a few times," he admitted.

I narrowed my eyes in anger. "Well, his ass is staying in the parking lot. I haven't seen him or spoken more than ten words to him. If I call him, it goes to voicemail and then he'll text me back. If I ask for help, he sends someone else. I get the picture. I won't be bothering him anymore for anything."

"Beautiful, he probably just doesn't know what to say," Les tried.

I shook my head resolutely. "Nope. He only wants to be around me to taunt Joe. Now that Joe's not in the picture anymore, he doesn't care."

The drugs were starting to get to me at this point and I demanded that Bobby take me back to bed. Les started laughing and I glared at him.

"Just ignore him, baby," Bobby said as he gathered me into his arms. "He's just jealous you didn't ask him to take you to bed. See Santos, she loves me more!"

I rolled my eyes. "You guys are so not right." But I tucked my head against Bobby's shoulder and inhaled the slight scent of antiseptic that clung to him.

He tucked me into bed and kissed my forehead. He moved to leave and I pulled on his arm. "No. I'm cold," I said as I tugged him onto the bed.

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me as I snuggled into the blankets. "If you were any other girl, I'd take that as invitation," he whispered into my ear.

"The only invitation was to get your hot body closer so I won't freeze to death," I told him. "You guys are like freaking radiators."

Bobby just laughed and pulled me closer. "This helping?"

I just nodded and reveled in the warmth.

"Hey, no fair!" Les said as he walked in and sat on the side of my bed. "Why are you cuddling his fat ass?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm cold."

I heard boots hit the floor and then my backside was feeling toasty too when Les curled around me. "We can't have that."

I fell asleep feeling nice and warm as the filling to a Merry Men sandwich. And what a yummy sandwich it was.

I woke up several hours later feeling cold and lonely. I thought someone was in the room with me when I looked up and saw a shadow in the corner.

"Come back, I'm cold," I complained as I rolled over and snuggled into my pillow.

No answer. When I rolled back over, the shadow was gone. I huffed and pulled the blankets closer. Must have been a dream.

When I woke up again, sunlight was streaming into the room. I squinted to try to read the alarm clock. Crap, it was late. I must have slept through the alarm.

I sat up and saw the pill bottles and a bottle of water along with a note. I flipped open the sheet of printer paper and saw Bobby's precise handwriting.

Good morning Bomber,

Don't forget to take the antibiotics and muscle relaxant right away when you wake up. You're going to be sore this morning, I bet. If it hurts, you can take ½ or 1 of the painkillers or a couple of ibuprofen. I'll stop by with dinner tonight to check your cuts.

Love,

Hot Body Bobby

I had to grin at the signature. Hot body Bobby, indeed! I vaguely remembered falling asleep sandwiched between Bobby and Lester. I did a little wiggle and nothing south of the border felt sore, so I figured it had been purely platonic. And while the tank top was twisted around me, it was still on, along with my pants, so that was also a good sign.

I groaned when I dragged my sore ass out of bed. As Bobby predicted, I was sore. I took the pills, deciding on taking ½ of the painkiller along with a couple of ibuprofen. I didn't want to be completely out of it from the painkillers, but I also didn't want to hurt. It seemed like a good compromise to me.

I went to the bonds office and Lula pounced on me as soon as I walked in. "Sally's playing at the Cave tonight. You in?"

I shook my head. "No can do. Bobby's bringing over dinner tonight."

Then the door to Vinnie's icky inner sanctum opened and Ranger strode out, looking pissed as hell. He simply nodded and didn't say a word to any of us.

"Who peed in his granola?" I asked rhetorically. Ranger doesn't eat cornflakes. Not enough fiber. Or bark.

Lula and Connie shrugged. "Seemed a lot more pissy now than when he went in. Vinnie must have annoyed him," Lula said.

"Imagine that," Connie deadpanned.

I dropped off the receipt for Jabba the Skip and picked up my new files. They were mostly repeats and should be fairly easy to pick up. I hoped. Because I sure as hell wasn't in the shape to chase someone down today.

I got my repeats back in the system and went home to wait on Bobby. He didn't say, but I figured it was best to not shower until the bandages came off, and boy was I ready for the bandages to come off.

Author's note: Wow, thanks for the great response so far! I'm glad you all are enjoying the story. To those who left a review, especially the guest reviewers I can't respond to, thank you so much!

I'll update as often as I can, but I can't promise daily updates like I tried to do with Loving Lester. I'll shoot for at least weekly, but more often if possible (like this one).

Cute story from today. I'm in my office advising when a group of students from my class last year wander in… with a cake and a card! I'm defending my dissertation next Tuesday and they heard, and they brought me a red velvet cake with "Dr. Angela" on it. They made me cry. I love my students! I have the best job ever!

So… I have to ask. Which Merry Man do you think it'll be?