Author's Note: I don't know where I got the idea for this… but that doesn't matter, does it? As long as I get to make fun of people.

Just a slight warning, there is a tiiiiiny bit of KuramaxYusuke in this chapter, though it's not meant to be taken as romance. At all. So back off rabid yaoi fangirls.

This was written… well… around three months ago or so. So trust me when I say, I was too lazy to edit it.

Thank you's to Noughts and Luin-lubs for reviewing, and to the two people who put this story on alerts. Yup.

Summary: Fairy tales. The meaning of every child's life and the bane of every adult forced to read it to them… and the newest way to poke fun at the Reikai Tentai, who find themselves playing the main character. Cinderella has never been so twisted.

Disclaimer: I do not own YYH, nor will I ever own YYH. Boo hoo.


Fairy Tales of DOOM – Oh Hell No

While Koenma was busy entertaining himself with wine and arguments over the topic of underage or not, Kurama, whose name looks surprisingly like his, wasn't as lucky. Unless, of course, you're the kind of person who likes being dropped onto a cold, cement floor… on your butt.

Kurama wasn't.

While the redhead busied himself with standing up and dusting himself off, as is the usual routine, he glanced around. Wherever this is, it was definitely not Koenma's office.

Oh well.

"Cinderella, get your butt over here, now!" a shrill voice screeched. The fox incarnate cringed, half expecting to be faced with a demon.

Wait a minute, Cinderella? As in the Cinderella in the fairy tale?

Oh hell no.

Kurama glanced down at a ragged dress that covered his body.

Oh hell yes.

One emerald eye twitched as he proceeded to whack his head repeatedly on the nearest wall. Just what he needs- to look more feminine than he already is.

If any of the others saw this, he was never going to live it down.

Ooh, he could just hear them now. Yusuke… Hiei… and especially Kuwabara, who was still jealous over the fact that he, the legendary Youko Kurama, was so much prettier than him.

It's not Kurama's fault he spent hours a day fawning over beauty magazines and brushing his hair, is it? God.

"CINDERELLA!" the voice shouted again, louder and shriller than before. Kurama cursed himself for not sticking gum in his ears while he had the chance.

He trudged, somewhat grudgingly, into the next room, where he was greeted with a very horrendous sight.

Two women -two very unappealing women- sat half-naked in a large bucket of warm water.

"Well?" the ultra obese one asked, "Are you going to scrub our backs, or are we going to have to make you?"

"Yeah!" the other one, who happened to be as thin as a stick, chimed in.

Kurama's eye twitched even more as he grabbed a sponge. He'd rather not see them step out of the tub, thank you very much.

Well, this day is just splendid, isn't it?

---

A few hours after the incident-which-shall-never-be-named-again, Kurama found himself considerably happier than before… then again, that was because it couldn't get worse than… ahem… before, right?

Wrong.

Worse is yet to come, Kurama, darling.

Ew, darling? That's just…

Excuse the author while she goes to rinse her fingers with bleach, thus making them extremely pale and scaring everyone who sees them the next day.

While the fox incarnate busied himself with sweeping the floor -anything was better than having his eardrums killed a third time- a knock came on the door.

His supposed sisters and stepmother, who still hasn't been properly introduced, were, of course, too lazy to answer it.

So he did.

If there was one thing Kurama's going to be afraid of for the rest of his life, it's doors.

There, standing at the door, was a well-dressed middle aged man. That wasn't too bad, of course, if it wasn't for what he said.

"Prince Yusuke is having a ball next week in order to search for a worthy bride. All the maidens of this kingdom are welcome to attend," he announced nobly before flourishing an elaborate bow and holding out a piece of paper that contained all the information.

It was at that moment the fox incarnate learned another important life lesson. Never, ever reach out to grab a piece of paper with information about a prince's ball.

If you do, two sisters who don't look anything like each other will shove you out of the way. Hard.

It was like Christmas shopping the day before Christmas Eve all over again.

Kurama swore.

---

That night, the two stepsisters and the evil stepmother, who still has yet to make an appearance in the story, left Kurama all alone in the house, as was expected.

After all, it is the story of Cinderella.

As Kurama sat there, not really weeping nor crying like the story intended her… erm, sorry, him, to, when a magical poof, followed by a cloud that made him cough harshly, appeared.
From that magical poof stepped out… Hiei?

The redhead glanced at the fire demon. The fire demon glanced back.

"What the hell!" both exclaimed at the same time, stepping backwards.

You can't blame Kurama for being surprised. After all, there was Hiei, manly old Hiei, wearing a periwinkle dress and a pair of translucent wings stinking out. In his hand held a cute wand, and a matching crown went on his head. In other words, Hiei looked cute, and not rabid hamster cute either, on no, his cute was teddy bear cute.

Hiei scowled, and yanked off the crown.

Everything paused for a moment, then time began to rewind, back to the point before Hiei pulled off the crown.

But that was no use, because he did it again.

And time rewinded, again.

This process continued for a while, until Kurama got tired of rewinding time. Or, more technically, he got tired of sitting there for hours on end while time rewinded and his butt became sorer by the minute. So, as Hiei moved to yank off the crown, Kurama stopped him.

"I think," he began, loathing himself for saying such a thing, "we're supposed to follow our roles in this, or time will keep rewinding until we do."

Hiei growled, but obeyed.

"You, oh poor grieving maiden who seems like a Mary Sue in every single way, shall be able to go a ball set up by a complete idiot. Ain't that just so freaking awesome," he grumbled, voice monotone.

Kurama cringed. He had the short end of the stick, not Hiei. After all, what he was about to do will be worse than parading around in a periwinkle dress.

Remembering the dress, he snickered and risked a glance at Hiei again.

"Don't laugh fox. Look at what you're wearing."

The boy obeyed while cursing himself for doing so. There he was, the legendary Youko Kurama…

In a pink, poofy dress.

Wearing slippers that just killed his feet.

There goes his reputation.

Hiei smirked, "How much sweet snow will you give to keep my mouth shut?"

Kurama glared at him, "Shut up. Just… shut up."

"Well," the fire demon said, nonchalantly, "I could be wrong, but this is the part where 'Cinderella' rushes off to the ball and meets her prince charming, right? I never knew you liked the detective that much, fox."

Scowling, said fox pulled himself into the carriage. Koenma was going to pay. Big time.

---

As Kurama stepped off the carriage and into the grand ballrooms, every eye turned to look at he- him. Oops.

Yusuke, clad in a clashing outfit that didn't fit his persona whatsoever, strode up to him. As he bowed -and nearly tripped over his own feet in the process- he said with a false British accent, "May I have this dance?"

Kurama nodded stiffly. If he had to go through with this, he was only going to do this once.

As the two waltzed across the room, the redhead whispered, "So, I assume you've got the whole time-warps-until-you-do-what-you're-supposed to thing figured out?"

Yusuke nodded. "If I didn't, I wouldn't be dancing with a guy, would I? I got it when I tried to grope this one girl, but I never got to…"

"Sometimes, Yusuke, less description is preferred over more."

'Prince Charming' shrugged.

---

After the clock stroke twelve and after Kurama had ran out, pulling off one shoe on the way and tossing it on the massive staircase which Genkai would be jealous of. He swore to never open another book about fairy tales for as long as he lived.

That is, if his ego will let him live after this is all over and done with.

---

The next day arrived, and poor, grieving Kurama who could pass off as a perfect Mary Sue had a scowl on his face. He was absolutely dreading what was about to happen. The poor, innocent boy was shaken out of his list of all the horrible ways he would kill Koenma with by a knock on the door.

It was the elder stepsister who opened the door to reveal a very disheveled Yusuke. Mumbling something about magic and how in hell princes can search through an entire city in under a day, he shoved the two swooning girls out of his way and went up to Kurama.

"Miss," he muttered sardonically, "Would you be so kind as to try on this glass slipper I had oh-so-coincidentally found at the staircase?"

Without waiting for a response, he yanked Kurama's foot out from under him and pushed the slipper on.

Kurama's feet were too big.

Yusuke snarled and put more force into getting the fox's foot into the slipper, earning a loud yelp from said fox.

"Oh wow oh gee, would you just look at that. Her foot fit perfectly," Yusuke said in the same voice he had spoken with earlier. "Now let's go ride off into the sunset and let everyone but us live happily ever after."

Yusuke exited as Kurama followed, but not before turning around to give the two gaping sisters 'the finger'.

And everyone lives happily ever after…

In the background, an annoyed Kuwabara dressed in a very poofy dress with excessive makeup stomped his feet angrily. "That's not fair! I'm the evil stepmother, how come I didn't get to make an appearance!"

Except that insane dude who was sent to the insane asylum.

And the Reikai Tentai, who would soon find themselves stuck in yet another fairy tale.


Tell me if I've made any grammar, spelling, and any other errors. I don't have a beta, and... well, I'm probably too lazy to ask my friend to beta. So... yeeeeeeeeah.

I also need ideas.
In other words, if you're insane and have a twisted sense of humour, and would like to help me by giving me ideas on how to twist a fairy tale I'm not working on, I'd gladly listen. I cannot, however, guarantee that I'd write it exactely that way.

One last thing before I go. A few lines as teaser for the next fairy tale, because I'm bored and have nothing to do. Whoop de doo.

... Ah-ha!" the mirror exclaimed in the voice of Yusuke, triumphant. "I knew you were jealous...
... then, pausing, he added, "By the way, you're married… to a man...
... had just happily added 'make Koenma watch as his precious teddy bear is being burned and torn to a bazillion pieces...