Time for another one shot! The last one inspired me to update my other story Taken. Hopefully this one will inspire me to update Operation M.U.R.D.E.R. I've started the next chapter but I can't seem to finish it~

This one was inspired by the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. If you've seen it you'll remember the "love fern" part, lmao. SUCH a funny movie XD I recommend watching it if you're into comedic chick flicks…


Love Cactus

"Fishies, fishies, fishies, won't you come out to play?

Cuz I'm kinda hungry and I'm really bored today~"

Luffy sang out of tune as he sat on Sunny's railing, trying in vain to catch some fish that didn't feel like biting.

This might have been because of the other boats that kept disturbing the water as they traveled back and forth from the docks. They were now anchored at a random island that no one cared to remember the name of (A/N: author included). It was pretty barren, with only a few sparse palm trees here and there, and a small village that sold provisions for ships. It was because of the lack of interestingness and adventure that Luffy had volunteered to stay behind on the ship to catch up on his fishing while everyone else went into town.

'I wonder if Sanji will buy a lot of meat?' he wondered as a line of drool began to leak down his cheek.

It was then that the crew finally returned, climbing onto the ship in a variety of different ways. Robin created a ladder for herself with her powers. Zoro, Brooke, and Sanji simply jumped up (Sanji after being declined to carry Nami up bridal style). Franky, Usopp, and Chopper decided to climb up the normal way using the rope ladder. As for Nami, Luffy was too impatient to wait for her so he stretched an arm and wrapped it around her waist, pulling her onto the ship.

She didn't even scream like she used to. He had done this so many times since they started dating that it had become as natural to her as sensing the weather. She brushed herself off as she got off of Luffy, who had effectively cushioned her fall.

"Shishishi," he laughed as he got up, amused at the fact that he wasn't getting hit anymore for doing that. Then he noticed she was carrying something.

"What's that?" He asked, pointing at it.

"Oh this?" She said holding it up. "It's a Christmas Cactus. It lives in desert areas and only blooms during the winter, but you can keep it inside and it'll grow."

Luffy personally thought it was ugly. It looked like it had been pieced together. Each spiky "leaf" had another spiky leaf growing from the tip of the last, making an unsturdy looking branch of some kind. It was dark green, and the "leaves" were shiny and looked like they were made out of rubber.

But before he could bluntly say that it was ugly Nami began speaking again.

"I bought it because I figured we could look after it together. We could help it grow and flourish, ya know, kind of like our relationship." She blushed at this.

Luffy quickly swallowed his words. He may have been an idiot, but he could recognize when something was important to someone, and he guessed that this plant thing was important to Nami. He figured he'd go along with it.

"Yosh! I'll help take care of it." He said.

"Oh thank you Luffy!" She said and wrapped him in a hug. He felt the prickly leaves of the cactus brush his back. What had he gotten himself into?


7 days later~

"Oi Luffy!" Nami called.

"Yeah?" He asked, walking into her study where she was working on her maps.

"Can you water the cactus? I'm a little busy right now~"

"Sure!" He answered, going to find some water.

'I'll bet it's in the storage room…' He thought.

It was pretty dim in there, the only light coming from the kitchen. There were about five barrels near the back.

'One of these has to be water.' He opened one and dunked a cup into it. He tried to not spill any on the way to Nami's room, but he couldn't help but dribble a little over the sides. When he got to the plant he hurriedly dumped the water unceremoniously over the plant, not pausing to watch the liquid seep slowly into the dark soil. Walking from the room he tossed the cup over his shoulder and went to go find Usopp and Chopper to play.


2 hours later~

"What's that smell?" Asked Chopper, wrinkling his nose. Luffy stopped running and look confusedly at the little reindeer.

"What's up, Chopper?" He asked.

"It smells like… bleach." He said, covering his nose. "Like someone spilled some on the deck."

Luffy froze dead in his tracks. His mind worked slowly, putting the pieces together.

Spilled… on the deck… dripping cup… ugly plant… bleach…

'Awww sh**!'

Luffy ran to Nami's room in a flash. Slamming open the door, he paled in horror when he saw the plant. The cactus had turned a ghastly shade of yellow with brown spots, it's leaves shriveled and curled up on themselves. He groaned.

"What have I done?"

He swept up the plant and attempted to hide it under his vest. It mostly stuck out, but he rushed from the room anyway, hoping Nami wouldn't come out of the library any time soon. He rushed to the infirmary.

"Chopper!" He yelled, bursting through the door. Chopper was just sitting down after returning when the game had ended after Luffy's abrupt departure.

"What is it!" He squealed in panic. "Are you hurt? Is someone else hurt?"

He took the plant from underneath his vest.

"It's me and Nami's love cactus! It's sick or something."

Chopper sighed in visible relief.

"What happened to it?" He asked in a curious voice, significantly calmer than before.

"I accidentally watered it with bleach, I think."

"Yes, that would trigger the chemical reactions to change the plant's color and ultimately kill it." Chopper said professionally.

"Is there anything you can do to save it? You're a doctor, can't you make it better?" He asked desparately.

"I'm afraid my specialty is humans and animals, Luffy." The reindeer answered sadly. "Once a plant has been poisoned like that there's really no way to reverse it's affects."

"I see," Luffy nodded. He didn't really understand all the big words Chopper was using, but he understood there was nothing he could do to save the plant. Then he got an idea.

"Thanks Chopper!" He yelled as he ran out of the room, leaving a bewildered reindeer behind him.

It didn't take him long to find him. Usopp was sitting in the grass on Sunny's deck, cloths covered in tools and pieces of metal scattered about him.

"Usopp, you gotta help me!" He said as he ran up. Usopp looked up at him with a magnifying scope in one eye, making one eye look huge while the other remained normal size.

"What's wrong Luffy?" The sniper asked.

"Me and Nami's love cactus died, and there's no way to cure it, so I thought maybe you could come up with something to fool Nami. After all, you are the best liar on the ship."

Usopp blushed and pouted his lips in a conceited face.

"Awww, it's nothing! It just comes naturally is all~" he said.

"What do we have to work with?" he asked as he stood up and observed the plant. "Aaahhh… that is one sad looking plant. But I think there's something we can do…"

"Really?" Luffy asked hopefully.

"Follow me."


"There, as good as new!"

They stood looking at the newly revised cactus in front of them. Green paint dripped of it's leaves into the soil below, and popsicle sticks also painted green held up the drooping limbs.

"I don't think Nami will be able to notice a thing." Usopp observed his handiwork proudly with his arms crossed.

"I don't know~" Luffy began.

"Luffy! Is that you in there?" Nami's voice called from outside.

"Do you really think this'll work?" Luffy turned to Usopp, only to see a cloud of dust with Usopp's shape in it.

Nami walked into the room, and Luffy held his breath.

"Hiya Nami!" 'Don't look at the plant, don't look at the plant…'

And that was the first place she looked. She raised and eyebrow as a large drop of green dripped off a leaf and onto the floor.

"I didn't mean to do it, Nami! I went to water it like you told me to, but I accidentally filled the cup up with bleach instead, and then the plant was all sick and yellow and I took it to Chopper to make it better, but he said he couldn't cure it, so then I went to Usopp and he told me to paint it green and mmpphblugher-"

He was silenced by a finger on his lips.

"It's okay," Nami laughed. "I knew you would eventually find some way to kill it."

"But it's like our love, and I don't want our love to die too." He pouted. She laughed again.

"Luffy, it was symbolic. The plant's health isn't actually connected to our love." She smiled.

"Oh good…" He sighed in relief. "I knew our love was too strong to die that easy."

She rolled her eyes.

"Of course it is." She said simply, and pulled him in for a gentle kiss, the dead plant totally forgotten behind them.


I really do think Christmas Cactuses are hideous :P I have one in my room because I took pity on it. My mom kills all living plants that she comes in contact with, so I took it up to my room and it blooms every 3 months or so instead of once a year. If you didn't know I have magical powers O.o

When I was staring out into space I started thinking about how ugly it was, and then how it reminded me of that movie, and then a one shot was born! Hope you liked it :D

Please Review!