Okay, like I said before, I don't own either series, I just own the plot. 'Kay?

Zim snapped out of his thoughts when he heard footsteps coming his way. He quickly shoved GIR up on the luggage rack, closing it and sitting back down like there was nothing wrong. The door to his seat opened, and the black haired boy leaned in, with a red-headed kid behind him. Zim vaguely recognized him as one of the kids the other boy had followed through the wall.

That black haired boy seemed to pop up everywhere Zim looked, and frankly, it was starting to annoy him.

"Yes?" he asked. "Do you need something?"

"Uh, well, we were wondering if this seat was taken. All the others are already full," the boy said.

Zim sighed. To just turn them away would be suspicious, wouldn't it? So he scooted over closer to the window and sighed. "Yeah, yeah, whatever."

Both human boys got into a conversation that Zim was only half paying attention to. He learned that the red-head's name was Ron Weasley, and the other's was Harry Potter.

Ron had gasped at learning that, and if Zim hadn't been wearing his disguise, his antennae would have perked up. His wig, however, got in the way. For the first time since Ron and Harry sat down, Zim decided to speak.

"Why is this so important?" he asked, trying to satisfy that damned curiosity of his. He turned to Harry. "Why are you famous?"

"Um, well," Harry started. "I guess, a long time ago there was an evil wizard named Voldemort, who killed thousands of people, I think. He killed my parents, but for some reason, when he tried to kill me, it backfired."

"He's known as the Boy Who Lived," Ron piped up. Zim didn't care much about that, though. His thoughts were stuck on Voldemort. This magic could be useful for him. A mere human was able to use it to kill thousands. Naturally, Zim, with his superior Irken intellect, could kill millions, maybe even billions, making the earth that much easier to take over for the Empire! He'd start with that annoying Dib-human…

"Hey," Ron said, and Zim had a good idea as to what the human was going to ask. "Why is your skin green?"

Zim gritted his teeth. He was bound to get a lot more of this. People here in 'England' seemed to be a lot smarter than those at his old skool. They may even be close to his level. "It's a skin condition," he growled out, and Ron scooted away from the ticked off alien.

"Oh, yeah," Harry said. "I forgot to ask before. What's your name?"

"I am Zim," he said, trying to desperately hold back yelling his name as he usually did. These humans, he realized, would probably find that a bit strange, and he had to produce an aura of 'normal'. He went back to staring out the window, while the boys bought candy from the trolley.

"Want some?" Ron asked, holding out a handful of bean-type candies to Zim. The alien shook his head frantically, knowing what most food seemed to do to him. He didn't trust these candies, and refused to have any.

The door opened again a little while later, and a girl with bushy brown hair and abnormally large front teeth poked her head in. "Have you seen a toad anywhere around here?" she asked. "A boy named Neville's lost one."

As soon as she finished the sentence, they heard a croaking sound coming from the luggage rack. Zim smacked his forehead. "GIR!" he yelled, and the robot in disguise fell from it. He was squeezing a toad. "GIR, let the toad go."

"But it likes me…" GIR said.

"GIR!" Zim yelled.

"Aww…" GIR said, letting go of the toad. Three heads honed in on the green colored dog.

"Did your dog just talk?" the girl asked. "How…?"

They kept trying to get Zim to tell them how it was that GIR was able to talk, but after he gave them a full five minutes of silence, they gave up.

"Wait a minute," the girl said, studying Zim. "Why…?"

"He's got a skin condition," Harry jumped in. She didn't look convinced, but left that for later. "By the way," she said, finally picking up Neville's toad. "I'm Hermione Granger. And you are?"

"I'm Ron Weasley," the redhead said.

"Harry Potter," the Boy Who Lived told her, and she stared. "Oh my god…" she whispered, apparently stunned to actually be talking to a famous person. She seemed to get over it after a moment, and looked at Zim expectantly. He realized she was waiting for him to introduce himself.

"That's Zim," Ron said through a mouthful of some sort of pastry.

"I see," she said. "Well, you'd better get changed, we'll be arriving soon." And with that, she left, probably to return the toad.

Zim narrowed his eyes at GIR. "Do I have to specifically tell you not to steal other people's pets?"

GIR lowered his head, and gave an honest answer. "Yes."

Zim sighed, rubbing his temples. "Don't steal other people's pets."

"Okay!" GIR said, saluting his master. All the while, the two other boys watched with confused expressions.

Zim shooed them out while he was changing, using the excuse that 'he was shy'. Irken had no external reproductive organs. They would certainly notice that, and he had no excuse to explain that away.

They arrived at the school, and Zim's eyes widened. Again, the Massive was still much larger than this, but for a human structure… it was amazing!

"Firs' years!" a voice yelled, and he looked up to see the large man from before holding a lantern. "Firs' years over here!"

All the first years made their way over to him, and Zim gulped. This was bad. They had to get into boats. Open topped, flimsy boats, that looked like they could easily be tipped over.

He got in a boat with Harry, Ron, and a boy holding the toad from before. Zim assumed the boy was Neville. He'd made GIR fit into the suitcase he'd gotten, so he'd be taken up with the luggage. He looked over the side, eyes wide with fright. This could go wrong so easily.

"What the matter?" Ron asked. "Do you get seasick?"

"Huh? Uh, oh, yes. Oh how seasick I get!" Zim said, never taking his eyes off the deadly liquid.

He tried to take his mind off the water by thinking about what he'd heard about the four 'Houses' in Hogwarts: Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Many people had spoken about how awful Slytherins were, how nearly every wizard ever put in Slytherin turned evil. Zim smirked at the thought. It was just the House for an Invader like himself.

When they reached the castle, Zim was the first out of the boat, and they headed up to the castle. He boredly listened to the explanation of the Houses, and walked with the other First Years into the Great Hall. That one room was bigger than his entire base! It was incredible! He shook his head. No, he couldn't become impressed with these things humans had created. Irken technology and structures were much better.

The names were called, and Zim, naturally, was last on the list. He had no last name, which seemed to confuse everyone. He'd have to fix that later.

The Hat was placed on his head, and was silent for a long time. "Where are your thoughts, boy?" it asked, actually sounding confused.

"Eh?" Zim asked, confused, but then realized. That was how the Hat sorted you. It checked your personality and placed you where you fit best. It probed the brain for thoughts, and that was exactly the problem. All of Zim's thoughts were stored in his PAK. His brain had minimal use.

The Hat finally managed to get a glimpse of the last few hours in Zim's mind, and noticed him conversing with Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, both of whom it had placed in Gryffindor. So there was only one thing to do.

"GRYFFINDOR!" It roared, and Zim opened his eyes in confusion. Why would the Hat put him in a House with goody-goodies? But, nonetheless, he hopped down from the stool and walked over to the table of scarlet and gold. He was in a bitter mood throughout dinner, and didn't touch a single food on the table.

He vaguely heard the old man at the front of the Hall, who he assumed was the Headmaster, Professor Dumbledore, tell them something about the Forest and third floor corridor being off limits. Of course, to someone like Zim, who did whatever he wanted, these meant nothing.

He went with the group of students up to the Gryffindor Common Room, and actually decided to listen for the password. That would actually come in handy. The older redheaded boy had said, "Caput Draconis."

Zim knew they were being told about the way the dorms were set up, so he zoned out again. He was angry as to the House he'd been Sorted into. How dare the Hat put him here! When they were 'released' to go to bed, Zim stalked up the stairs to the boy's dormitory and stopped in the doorway. "GIR!" he yelled.

The room was already a mess. Clothes were strewn everywhere, and ink was spilled on the floor. One of the beds had somehow been overturned.

"What happened here?" One of the other boys, Seamus Finnegan asked, wondering what could cause such a mess.

"I did!" GIR said, popping up from under a mound of clothes. Zim pounded his head against a wall. At least GIR hadn't actually thrown things out of his suitcase. It would have been bad for them to find his Irken technology he'd brought with him. Very bad.

The other boys quickly got ready for bed and crashed. Zim, on the other hand, sat on the overturned bed, bored. They'd made him take that bed since it was his 'dog's' fault that the mess was there in the first place. As an Irken, he required only a minimum of two hours of sleep. It was going to be a long night if he did nothing. So he crawled over to his own suitcase and pulled out one of his textbooks. He had nothing better to do, so he might as well prepare himself for the days ahead.

He removed his itchy lenses and blinked a few times, glad to have them off. He'd have to leave his wig on, though, just in case any of the other boys awoke in the middle of the night and saw him. An arm-like thing came out of his PAK and there was a light at the end, to serve as his reading light for the night.

After hours of skimming through A History of Magic, Magical Theory, and Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, his eyelids slowly started to droop, so he set his books down, and the light retreated into his PAK. Even though the underside of a bed is pretty uncomfortable, he managed to fall asleep very quickly.

Sorry to those of you who wanted Zim to join Slytherin. But I've got most of this story completely mapped out, and for it to work requires Zim to be put in Gryffindor. And besides, the Hat does probe the brain, and Zim's thoughts and memories are usually kept within his PAK. The Hat just picked up vague traces of the last few hours, so, since it had no view on Zim's personality, it just put him in Gryffindor based on his recent 'interactions'. Believe me, Zim's not happy.