Some Notes-
I still am not Douglas Adams
Thank you those who commented. To reply to do-U-know-where-your-towel-is's questions: Thanks to the praise! Yes, this is a revision of my old story; a good friend of mine read it and said I needed more details and specificity. I'll try to have better grammar this time. And lastly, thank you! And Yes he is!
We all do know what happens next. To put it into short terms, the world blows up. Our story picks up when they wake up on the Vogon Ship…
"Huh? What?" I opened my eyes, slightly dazed by the sudden rush of events. However, we were not in front of Arthur's house, oh no, we were in what looked like a ship's cargo hold. It was mucky, gray, and steely. I turned to my right; Arthur was just waking up as well. He had the frightened look in his eyes of a deer caught in headlights. On my other side was Ford, just casually leaning against the wall as if in a bar.I had the sudden urge to call him an arrogant bastard. I surpressed that urge. In his hands was a packet of peanuts he was eating.
"Ford, where the hell are we?" I asked. If I was going to panic, I at least wanted to know where I was panicking.
"In the Vogon's spaceship." Ford said, matter-of-factly, as if I'd asked 'What are clouds made of?'.
"Ford…who are you?" Arthur asked.
"I told you.I'm a field researcher for the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. And from a small planet, somewhere in the vicinity of Betlegeuse." He replied, looking at the walls with some intrest.
"The…"
"Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, yes," Ford cut in, "it's a type of electronic book." He then pulled out a small black calculator-like device with 'DON'T PANIC' written in pink letters on the cover.
"Let's go." He said.
"Hold it" I breathed, "I'm not done with the questions. Now, what is a Vogon, and why are we not at home?"
"Ugh. A Vogon is what you would call, an alien. They blew up the Earth, and I rescued you two from it." he answered rather impatiently.
"I got the impression you hated me, Ford. Why did you rescue me?"
"I do!" he defended, "but… let's just go." He started walking down a passage way, followed rather uncertainly by Arthur, who was, comically still in his dressing gown.
"I'm not going anywhere. I don't know what this place is and I don't feel up to it to find out" If he thinks I'm going anywhere, he's crazy, I thought, he does seem to know what he's doing, though. I was scared on this unfamiliar spaceship, but curious. Like a child faced with a spider.
"Stubborn mule" he muttered under his breath, turning to Arthur.
"I heard that!" I retaliated.
"You were supposed too, genius."Ford said heatedly. Ha, I thought, getting him mad is basically my calling in the world. Arthur was just watching us argue, his mouth slightly ajar. He was appalled we would argue under these conditions.
"Please you two, can we just-" Arthur started pleading.
Foed and I shouted in unison, "NO!!!"
"Excuse me! Why do I have to go with you anyway?"
"You can't stay here! What if something would happen to you?" he shouted back. I was somewhat shocked by his answer, and had a sinking feeling.
"Why do you care?! I thought you hated me!" I shouted to him. I got him now. He wasn't expecting something like THIS
"Well… I... ah…" Ford stuttered. He got pinkish. Suddenly, his face and eyes softened. His face changed from anger to gentle concern.
"Elizabeth… please" he pleaded. My anger at him lowered. I felt bad for yelling. I suddenly understood that beneath his stubbornness was... well, more stubbornness. But below that, he really did care for people. I guess I did, too.
"Alright" I sighed. The three of us walked until we saw through a door a hideous green thing. It had a large hooked nose, going from between its eyes to the bottom of its mouth. It looked like something that crawled out of the ocean and died there. It was a sicky slimy green. It made me want to puke.
I stood there, trying to look brave. For a second, however, I think my eyes betrayed me. He pulled us invouletarily through a hallway that looked as gray and moldy as before. Finally we reached a room where we were then strapped to hard cement-like slabs. I felt like we were about to be unpleasently operated on. Arthur to my left was (if he could move) flailing his arms amlessly like an upended beetle. Ford was just there, not moving or anything. His face was unreadable. I was scared so much that I could nether move nor scream, so I just layed there, stiff as a board. Finally, a Vogon was in fron of us. He was by far the ugliest, slimiest thing Iad ever seen. He looked like somethin that crawled out of the ocean, died, got run over by a monster truck, bathed in goo, and put back for a good four months. I would have thrown up if it wern't for that awful poetry, which was so bad I couldn't throw up. Ford, to the side of me, was struggling, losing his cool manner, and eventually fell limp. Arthur was holding on to his block for dear life, letting out a gasp every now and then. As for me, I could tell I had a grimace on my face, went very pale, and prevented myself from ending up from Ford, I held my breath. When it ended, the Vogon said that we must ether tell him how good his poetry was, or he'll throw us into space. I still wasn't aware of anything going on because I was still tuning out my surroundings, but the first thing I heard was
"I'll throw you into space anyway."
The other vogon dragged us to a small black room. I couldn't see anything except for deer-caught-in-headlights Arthur and Ford looking concerned.
"So that's it?" Arthur asked. I could hear a bit of hope in his voice that it wasn't.
"Yes. It is" Ford replied. Our eyes met for a moment. I felt sure I could feel something, a spark; like when you finally understand the answer to a question that's been plaguing you. A look of shocked comprehension betrayed my usually serious face. The same lookcrossed his features for a minute.
"Hmph" he quickly turned away.
Must just be the end-of-life thing, I told myself (Or rather, was trying to convince myself), I'll prove it. I turned to Arthur and tried to meet his eyes.
Nothing.
I got scared. So that's it, I thought, I'm going to die. There are so many things I haven't done. Haven't gone toan MCR concert (although they're probably dead by now), never sky dived……never been in love… Suddenly we felt a slight push and then I couldn't breath. I passed out again.
"Elizabeth" I heard a voice say.
"Elizabeth, wake up." Another voice said.
"Is she okay?" I now heard a female voice.
"Elizabeth?" I heard the first voice.
"EARTHLING! GET UP!"I jumped at the sound and looked around. We were in a pearly white spaceship this time. I was surrounded by Ford, Arthur, and an unfamiliar woman. All had faces of concern except Ford, who looked purely amused.
"Second time you passed out today" he teased, "must be a new record".
I glared at him, "Do yourself a favor and shut up."
I turned around and let out a yelp. There was a man with two heads, three arms, dressed like a hippie (wearing a jacket colored silver, pink and blue and what looked like orange leggings) and all four eyes staring at me like I was retarded.
"Elizabeth, this is Trillian,"Ford gestured to the woman, who smiled warmly, "and this is Zaphod, my semi-cousin".
"Nice to meet you, Earthkid" the one called Zaphod said.
"Hello." Trillian said.
We all stood for a while before Zaphod clapped his hands together (well, two of them) and said cheerily, "Well, shall we be off?"
"Erm... where?" Arthur asked skittishly, voicing my thoughts.
"Fun, adventure, and really wild things!" Ford happily exclaimed.
He turned to Zaphod, "Can we find a good bar?" he questioned.
I smiled to myself. Whatever this is, I could tell it'll be fun.
