(Notes: Discarded letter number XX, retrieved from Archived files of Survey Corps in Year 8XX. Sender unknown, recipient unknown.
Additional notes: Under the authorization of Commander Smith, this is requested not to be thrown out.)
?
There are a lot of things I should have told you. There are a lot of things I should have shown you. There are a lot of things I should have done. There are a lot of times I should have been there for you.
There should have been but I did not.
There are times where I feel like dying. Like I'm drowning myself in my own sorrows and misery. I'm falling, falling deeper and deeper into despair. I'm drowning, falling, suffocating and more.
I'm dying.
Desperately so.
I'm dying for your touch. For the sight of you. I'm dying for your smile. I'm dying to hear the heavenly lilt of your gentle voice as you call out my name that used to make my heart flutter so. I'm dying for your warm presence, for your acceptance and for your reciprocation. Most of all, I'm dying for your love.
I'm lonely.
I'm despairing.
I'm depressed.
I'm mourning.
I'm grieving.
I'm sorry.
I miss you.
I miss you so much, it hurts. I miss you so much it stains my insides knowing that you are not here with me. I miss you so much it makes me want to die. I miss you so much I just want to cry, want to see you, want to talk to you. I miss you so much yet here I am doing nothing.
I miss you so much, the nights aren't so peaceful anymore. I cry myself to sleep knowing I have lost the person who meant so much to me. I cry to myself knowing that I have lost someone who I held so close to my heart. I cry myself to sleep knowing that I have lost you.
Worst of all, I cry myself to sleep knowing that there's no changing that.
-?
