First of all, thank you everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed. I shall keep writing! :)
Second of all, there will be no lemony action in this chapter like I said there would be...I had intended on it, don't get me wrong. But then when I got to writing and explaining everything...it just didn't fit in with the story right now. HOWEVER, there will DEFINITELY be lemons in the next chapter; now that the foundation is laid with this chapter, the story will begin getting darker.
CHAPTER TWO
Katniss POV
That night I slept with my arms and legs free. I guess you start taking that sort of thing for granted after awhile, because it was wonderful.
I wished I was still with Peeta. It was amazing the effect he had on me. All of the horror of my life was still there - I had a feeling it would be impossible to ever forget - but it was sedated...dimmer in comparison to when I'm not with him. I had not felt as warm the entire time I had been here as when I was in his arms during our visit last night.
I quickly ate breakfast, enjoying the absence of the nurse as I lifted the food to my mouth myself. It seemed there were always armed guards outside of my door, so I poked my head out of my room to ask them if I was allowed to visit the others yet. I was informed that morning exercise was from 9 to 11:30 a.m. each morning, and I impatiently paced my room for the next twenty minutes until I eagerly burst from my room at 8:54. The guards had to jog to catch up at first as I strode forward, like I knew where I was even going.
Eventually I was led to an all-white gymnasium where various exercise and sporting equipment was assembled, one wall covered in mirrors. The large room was bustling with activity as men and women in perfect white uniforms, albeit with rainbow-hued hair and skin and outlandish makeup, talked and laughed and worked out. I squinted. Where in the hell were we in the Capitol?
I spotted the Peacekeepers guarding them before I spotted any of them. My heart leapt into my throat as I took in the sight of Peeta, Finnick, and Johanna sitting together on snow-white bleachers, wearing the same white uniforms as the Capitol people and talking while groups of guards stood against the wall behind them out of earshot, staring blankly forward. As I eagerly approached them, I felt it again - that sliver of hope that had returned to me while I was in Peeta's arms. I didn't allow myself to go as far as hope we would escape the Capitol, but I did hope life living in the Capitol would turn out better than it seemed it could ever be at the moment.
Johanna saw me first and I heard her call out "Here she is!" Peeta sprang up and ran to me, gathering me up in his arms, uncaring of the Capitol people who stopped and watched, some of them putting hands to their chests and awing. We continued on to the bleachers, Finnick standing up to greet me with a bear-hug, Johanna, who had several bruises about her face and neck, remaining seated but smiling. After we had all sat down, we leaned in together, ducking our heads slightly. Our guards were out of earshot, but there were groups of Capitol people on the bleachers, laughing and conversing. Snippets of their conversation reached me - "not believe what she showed up wearing" - and a mixture of bizarre curiousity and horror reached me as I realized I would be living around these people from now on and never again in District 12...District 12. My throat tightened, and I looked up at Peeta to distract myself. His eyes were all ready on mine. He smiled. Warmly. I felt the strength to clear my throat and speak.
"So what's the deal with the Capitol people? I didn't realize we would be so...among them."
Finnick took the liberty of answering. I had a feeling he had most of the answers when it came to these sorts of things. Johanna was older than Peeta and I as well, but for some reason I couldn't quite explain, I just had the impression she had escaped the full notice of the Capitol...but had she? Had they controlled her life in the same way as they had Finnick's? I never wanted to ask her, and it dully registered in my mind that I was avoiding the word "prostitute," even in my thoughts.
"They didn't show the footage of you shooting the arrow at the force field," Finnick began. "We don't know exactly what the Capitol's citizens watched, but the Capitol ended up making it look like our group fell apart, except for you and Peeta, and that there was some big explosion that was part of the Games that killed everyone except for you two."
Johanna smiled darkly. "How perfect that they let the Star-Crossed Lovers win! Even though it must've made for a pretty sudden, anti-climactic ending, especially for a Quarter Quell," she snorted, a sound of something close to but not quite amusement.
Finnick continued. "All the Capitol people have been asking about your health, Katniss." He laughed humorlessly. "There was no actual footage of you two winning or anything, so they made it look like you two got fucked up in the explosion and were saved before you could die. Apparently the citizens of the Capitol turn into quite the softies when it comes to you and Peeta."
I tried to unclench my fists, failed, buried them in my lap instead. I did succeed in keeping my expression stoic, however. Anyone could be looking at us right now. This had been what I expected, a cover-up by the Capitol, so why was I so fucking angry? They couldn't have anyone, citizens or districts, seeing defiant actions against them, now could they? I was angry that my act had been so easily masked, so easily turned into something to benefit the Capitol: a heart-warming love story.
Questions. I still had questions. Things didn't seem to add up.
"So then what was their excuse for blowing up District 12?" I asked. For the first time I see Peeta move out of the corner of my eye: a shiver. He stared unblinkingly down at his hands. It was his turn to answer now. "They presented it to everyone like District 12 rebelled because they couldn't handle us being pitted against one another in the Games again. They refused to give up and so had to be - " he paused " - I guess taken care of. I saw one of the reports, the cafeteria shows TV you know, and it was disgusting. They laughed about it, saying how much of a waste 12's rebelling was because we both were allowed to live in the end." Peeta was shaking slightly, jaw clenched. The others were quiet, even Johanna, who always seemed to have a brash joke about something.
I absent-mindedly watched a pair of middle-aged Capitol women roll their hips around on large, bright blue balls as I let what Peeta said sink in. So not only did the Capitol turn my defiance into the happily-ever-after ending its citizens were all clamoring for, but they made the mass-execution of an entire district as the punishment of one person into an example to the other districts of what happens if you try to rebel. Pure hatred flowed through my veins. Peeta's language had made it clear he knew this was not the true story, but had Snow told him what the real reason for 12's demise was? That the reason everyone Peeta had ever known was dead was because of me?
Surely he had.
Something else occured to me. "Wait, so you and Johanna are supposed to be dead?" I asked Finnick, looking back and forth between them. "And you've been living among these people? How have they not noticed dead people walking around?"
Johanna laughed. "Oh they have. And unfortunately, they insist on thinking we actually want to talk to them," she said, rolling her eyes at Finnick and Peeta. I briefly recalled Finnick saying they were all asking about my health. She went on. "But we're in the Capitol mansion, Katniss. Very special Capitol citizens live, work, and play here," she said, sneering when she said very special. "They have been told that the explosion did not kill me and Finnick, but since we were all four too injured to fight and they didn't want a drawn out Quarter Quell of us slowly bleeding to death or similar, they decided to end the Games with the explosion. They declared you and Peeta Victors since you were apparently less injured than either of us. Then something about thinking it a waste to kill the Capitol's celebrities for the sake of games that all ready over with...and so the Capitol citizens that have the privilege of stepping foot in this building are all sworn to secrecy on our survival." I noticed Finnick smile darkly to himself for some reason at Johanna's mention of "sworn to secrecy."
I glanced at Peeta, who was looking down at his hands again, and then I turned to look out over the activity of the gynasium, not seeing any of it. So this is what was going on. I felt the uneasy, trapped, panicky feeling I had had since being here lighten ever so slightly. It felt good just for the gaps to be filled in on what exactly my predicament was. Just so I could know what to expect.
But I had never once through this entire conversation lost the nagging thought in the back of my head: the scene from my room with Finnick.
I didn't know what to expect. Not yet.
Peeta POV
I had eagerly drank up all of the time I had with Katniss earlier, and just as eagerly looked forward to getting to see her later at dinner time. The memory of how she sounded when she told me she loved me last night bounced around in my head all day, and I felt guilty for it, knowing there were such obviously more important things going on right now. Being here was torture. Knowing my parents and brothers were all dead was torture. Knowing the sad fates that awaited me and Katniss at the hands of the Capitol was torture.
But atleast I had her. Got to see her. Got to hold her. Katniss.
I didn't blame her for District 12's...for my family's...catastrophic end, of course. Why would I? It wasn't her fault. I knew she was just trying to get us out of there.
They had thankfully allowed me a pad of paper and pencils for when we had mandatory time alone in our rooms, and I sat on my bed, sketching Katniss, her delicate features forever burned into my memory. I watched, slightly mesmerized for a second, as the graphite shavings from my pencil settled onto the crisp white sheets, smearing into and dirtying them. I heard my door open suddenly and knew who it was before I even looked up. His smell was unmistakable.
Snow.
"Good afternoon, Peeta," he said warmly, like we were old friends. I discreetly placed my sketch pad under my pillow, not wanting him to see, as he sat down in the one chair (white, always white - I desperately missed color) of my room and placed his fingertips together, elbows on knees. "I'll make this quick, as I don't care to personally give the instructions for these sorts of things. From now on, you will be dealing with an...ahh...manager on my behalf." He leaned forward. "But this is your first performance, so I figured I might need to make sure that the importance of what you will be doing is properly acknowledged by you."
I hated that it was referred to as a "performance." Even Finnick had referred to it like that when we had talked about it while Johanna was getting a Capitol-mandated haircut (I refused to talk about it around Johanna, feeling a little like Katniss in doing so). Performing was a disgusting word for what we would actually be doing.
I was also paralyzed with alarm and dread; I hadn't expected it to come this soon. I thought I had more time. We had more time.
"There are no alternatives, of course; I shouldn't have to repeat myself in this, but I will. It would be such a waste to have to slice up the face of Katniss's little sister...she looks so much like Katniss in the face, does she not? And Katniss may never forgive you." Snow chuckled. It was amazing how friendly he managed to sound while saying all of this, a wide, pleasant smile on his face. But the smile disappeared, and he narrowed his eyes and leaned closer to me.
"And it's not enough to just show up, Peeta." He sounded deadly now. "These people have paid very generously for this, and disappointing my wealthiest, most important citizens is not what I do." A pause, his ice-cold snake eyes boring into mine. "They'll complain to me if you and Katniss don't deliver. I'll know. And trust me, then you'll know. Katniss will know. Her family will certainly know." I wanted to close my eyes against everything he was saying, like closing my eyes would affect my ability to hear. I wanted to shut him out. I wanted to pretend none of this was real.
He went on, staightening up, returning to his previous friendliness. "No one believes for a second that you two haven't all ready slept together, since your lie about Katniss's pregnancy," he said laughing. I felt my face get hot. "It's a shame. Sharing the experience of you two losing your virginity together would have fetched a handsome price." More laughing. "But the party who have purchased you and Katniss know that this is at least your first performance and therefore have paid triple. So don't mess up." And just like that, the friendly demeanor had snapped in a second, revealing deadliness, madness.
But his smile was back all ready. I couldn't keep up.
"At least, you'll be glad to hear that they were very caught up in your whole love story, from day one, and just want to watch, not touch," he said warmly. I could not believe how casually he could say this. I couldn't register relief at this; I couldn't register anything but hopelessness. This is going to happen. This is really going to happen. From the first day I had recovered here I had been told about it, and yet now I knew it, felt its heavy presence in my chest.
Snow said something else as he got up to leave. Something I didn't catch. I was too busy struggling with this empty feeling that had began seeping from my chest into my limbs since his arrival five minutes ago. He left. I sat there. Still empty. Still hopeless.
The only thing I could manage to think was that Snow and the Capitol people were wrong; me and Katniss hadn't slept together. Not like that.
Those people might as well have paid triple.
Boom shakalaka! Chapter two up, woo-woot! Still a little slow, but I'm explaining things! haha
FOR SURE LEMONS IN THE NEXT ONE.
The time has come. -ominous music-
