Manhiem drove his Mustang into the Gotham Psychiatric Institute's parking lot, where he parked his car in one of the forward spots. He gathered his briefcase and his tape recorder from the passenger seat, and set the alarm on his car.
It was a large building, with dull siding on it. The front was very well maintained, it seemed as though Gotham relished it. He entered through the swinging doors where he met Dr. Price, who was the head of the asylum. Dr Price looked to be in his mid fifties. He was medium sized with large rimmed glasses and greying hair.
The two men shook hands. "Dr. Manhiem, it's a pleasure." Manhiem said
"Mine too," Said Price before sizing Manhiem up. "So you're here to interview him."
"The Joker, yes."
"Interesting why they'd send someone here. Do you know why the Mayor wanted you to come here?"
"I'm not at liberty to speak about it, but all that I can say is that you may no longer have him as a patient within a week."
"Interesting."
Price handed Manhiem a file, and Manhiem opened it, only to be surprised at the first thing that he saw.
"John Doe? You don't know his real identity?"
"His dental records or prints don't match anyone in the database. No ID when they caught him. He was a patient at Arkham a few years ago. There's no record on him other than that. I guess you could say that he's our most prized asset, psychologists and general admirers alike try to get in here when they can."
Manheim continued to read the file:
Name: John Doe
Gender: Male
Eye color: Brown
Hair color: Brown
Height: 5' 8"
Weight: 160 lbs
Condition: Schizophrenic, sociopath
Security status: Maximum
"Schizophrenic and psychopathic mass murderer. He's not the easiest patient to deal with, he's managed to kill several of our guards."
"Don't you restrain him?"
"Yes, but he's cunning. He manages to get out of the restraints occasionally. We think some of his admirers send instructions on makeshift weapon construction."
"You can't check his mail?"
"Federal property, we need a warrant. X rays only. Now, shall we?"
Dr. Price indicated the staircase. Manhiem tucked the file into his briefcase and followed Price through a steel door and down a flight of stairs.
"Keep in mind Dr. Manhiem that this is a very high priority case."
"I understand."
"The rules are the same for all our maximum security patients. Do not touch them, do not hand anything to them without the assistance of one of the guards, no pens or pencils, no staples or paperclips in their papers, and do not accept anything that they attempt to give to you. Do you understand?"
"Yes."
The two psychiatrists descended a staircase.
"This is an extremely high-profile case, just so you know."
"I figured that much Dr. Price."
Price typed in a code into the security box in front of the gate. The gate swung open to a confined room with a counter blocked by bulletproof glass. Two guards with batons and tasers stood upon seeing the two men. Price indicated that they lead the way and the two guards lead the men to a steel door at the end of a long hallway.
One of the guards took out a ring of keys and unlocked the door. The two men entered the room where four more guards with dart guns stood on either side of a patient in a straight jacket. Manhiem recognized the patient instantly...it was the man who had terrorized Gotham City only seven months earlier. It was The Joker.
His greasy hair hung over his scarred face as he greeted Price. His voice was high, too high to be his natural voice.
"Afternoon, doctor." He said in a bored tone, before spotting Manhiem. His expression became eccentric upon seeing Manhiem. The Joker was twitchy and spontaneous, like there was too much energy for his body to contain. "Oh, you've brought a friend. That's the third one this week, isn't it? He's too young for you doc, I suggest you aim more for your own age group."
"This is Dr. Manhiem," Price said ignoring the comment. "He's here to assess your condition."
"Well isn't that nice." The Joker said sarcastically. "But it's not necessary."
"I think it is." Price told him.
"No." The Joker flicked his head side to side wildly.
"Why?"
"Because I can simply tell you the key difference between you two and me."
"We haven't killed anyone?" Price said sarcastically.
The Joker's eccentric eyes were locked onto Price's, and after a moment, he broke the silence. "Well, that too, but I was getting at the fact that I ...unlike you two...don't wear any underwear."
There was a stunned silence before the Joker continued, shaking his head. "It limits mobility, it... bunches all up in the pants. Strangles everything below, if you know what that means."
He jerked his head up and down as he leaned back in his chair. He looked like a student in class with ADHD.
Price sighed. "He's all yours."
"Thank you Dr. Price."
Price left the room and Manhiem opened his briefcase. "So Joker, do you know why I was sent here by the mayor himself?"
The Joker let out a high pitched cackle before he gave Manhiem a strange puppy-dog look. "They can't catch The Batman, can they?"
"No, they can't." Manhiem said before looking around nervously. "And since I don't want to be here, I'm not going to pussy-foot, and I'll get right to the reason. The Mayor was hoping that you can help Commissioner Gordon."
The Joker began to immediately cackle. "Don't tell me that the Mayor is having second thoughts about throwing away the key."
"I can't speak for the mayor, but it appears that way."
There was another pause, as if the Joker was pondering.
"Your father's blue collar, isn't he?"
Manhiem paused. "Yea, a mechanic. How'd you know?"
The Joker let out a laugh. "Because, if he was a police officer, a lawyer, or something like that, you would've learned by now that the people in authority don't know how to do shit. You have to do everything yourself. Now, are there any conditions?" The Joker purred.
"There are several." Manhiem said. "You aren't able to have contact with anyone except the mayor and law enforcement."
"Figures." The Joker twitched. "But I suppose they forgot what happened last time."
"The Mayor assures me that they've weeded out all the corruptable ones. They were dishonorably discharged from the force."
The Joker cackled madly before an angry and annoyed tone erupted from him. "The only one of those people who aren't corruptible is Gordon!" The anger subsided just as quickly as it had come, and the Joker continued in his usual tone. "But what I'm still trying to figure out is why they sent you, of all people, to tell me this. Shrink or not, it seems to me that you're more of a messenger boy than anything else."
Manhiem did also think of it as a insult to his status. The main reason he was sent here was to tell the Joker the plan, and not to assess him, which came second. As a result of this agreement, Manhiem didn't retort, he simply got out his recorder and notepad.
He sat down in the chair at the opposite side of the table. He pulled the tape recorder up to his mouth. "Dr. Alexander Manhiem, first interview with patient known simply as The Joker." He placed the tape recorder back on the table. "Now Joker, first of all I'd like to ask you several basic questions, in which you will answer them as truthfully as you want. Question 1, what is your name?"
"They call me The Joker."
"I highly doubt that your real name is The Joker. What is the name that your parents called you by when you were a child?"
The Joker seemed to ponder for a second. "Shithead, boy...kid, little pipsqueak... take your pick doc." The Joker leaned forward and indicated his Glasgow Smile. "A more pressing matter doctor is..." He licked his cheeks. "Do you wanna know how I got the scars?"
"I would love to know how you got the scars." Manheim said eccentrically. Truthfully, he was a bit curious. Joker seemed satisfied with his response.
"My brother...had...a gang...and all of them were into cutting. He always complained that his family were never happy with him. One night...I was walking down the street...and my brother's gang came up to me...and told me that I was never happy enough. They took out a machete, and did this." He indicated his scars. "So that I would always show the happiness that I never did show toward my brother."
He licked his scars and looked at Manhiem. Manhiem stared for a moment.
"Interesting and sad story."
"Different story every time, doc." A guard to Joker's right suddenly said. Manhiem had almost forgotten that the guards were there.
Joker glared at the guard, as if the guard had just taken away a toy.
"Interesting." Manhiem said. He didn't see the point in asking the Joker any more questions. It's not like he'd answer them truthfully anyway. He found it insulting that the mayor would put him up to this. He found it insulting that the mayor had used him as a simple messenger boy, because what was assessing the Joker supposed to do anyway? Other psychiatrists had failed, the Joker had been assessed numerous times, and none of them came any closer to an answer than the previous psychiatrist.
"Ok, fine. Enough chat, back to business." Manhiem said aggravated, slapping his notebook shut and turning the recorder off. "In reality Joker...can you catch him?"
"Of course I can catch him." Joker said almost offended as he let out a mad cackle. "Do you really think they'd ask me if they thought that I couldn't do it?"
"Then it's done. I'll return to the mayor and tell him your set. Gordon will be by soon to pick you up. Good luck."
"The same to you doctor." The Joker said. Manhiem rose from his seat and began to gather his things. The Joker spoke again. "Do you really wanna know how I got the scars?"
"We can save it for later."
"Indeed we can Doctor, but I'm not sure we'll be seeing each other again."
"Yeah, you can bet your ass we won't."
"Don't place bets on my ass doctor."
"Neither do I."
