A/N: So this will probably turn into four or five chapters. I'm adding the content warning of major character death. I'm deviating from the show, so it's AU from here on out. Don't hate me. Or do. Whatever.


"Ma'am, Henry is at St. Ann's hospital. They're assessing him for radiation poisoning." Blake held the phone against his neck as he spoke to his boss in the bunker.

Elizabeth let out a breath. "Was he in a different car? Why didn't they find him until now?"

"He went back in, ma'am. He went in to help people."

If she hadn't already been sitting down, she would have fainted.

"He... Went back in?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"How bad?" Her breathing was shallow, and her voice sounded airy.

"Don't know yet. They're assessing him now." Blake's face was blank.

"I have to see him. Now. Let's go." Elizabeth started to move.

This time it was her agent who spoke. "You have to stay here until all threats are neutralized. We can't risk it."

She had almost forgotten the entire city was on lockdown.

"Oh." A thought occurred to her. "You have agents with him, right? And the kids?"

"Yes, ma'am. Your family is secure." Frank added more softly, "Just breathe. We're doing everything we can."

Elizabeth knew they were trying. She didn't want to be rude to them. But she needed her husband. She needed to know that she still had her family to ground her while she was dealing with a crisis. If she didn't have her family stable, her entire life would be thrown into chaos.

He had gone back in. Of course he had. He had military training. He knew how to dress wounds and get people out alive. She knew she shouldn't have expected anything else from him. A part of her was proud that her husband had gone back in. That was her man.

But he had been at ground zero of a dirty bomb without any protection.

He could die.

Some time later she was able to get a doctor on the phone. They were slowly getting people out of the bunker, but it wasn't her turn yet.

"Ma'am, your husband is stable for now. He was exposed to a gross amount of radiation. We've done everything we can."

Elizabeth slid down the wall she was leaning against. "What does that mean? Is he...? Will he make it?"

"We've done all we can. He's sedated right now. If he wakes up in a few hours, we'll know more."

"If? You don't think he'll wake up?"

"He should wake up. We'll learn more over the next couple days. There is a window between a couple days and a couple weeks where we'll need to monitor him. But we've removed all of the external radioactive particles, and we've given him medication to help any internal radiation to pass through more quickly. We gave him a transfusion in case his bone marrow was affected, and we're monitoring his immune system. We really are doing everything we can."

This man thought that last sentence was supposed to make her feel better. But Elizabeth worked for the government. All the effort and good intentions in the world wouldn't necessarily get anything done, and she knew it.

"When can I see him?" Elizabeth had to focus to keep the phone steady in her hand.

"He's in isolation. We don't want him exposed to any infections until we know if his immune system has been affected."

This doctor obviously didn't understand what she was saying. "So I'll wear a gown and booties and a mask and gloves and whatever else you want me to wear. I have to see him."

"It's not quite as simple as that, ma'am."

"Yes it is. Put me in a scuba suit. I don't care. I have to see him."

Elizabeth could hear the doctor let out a breath.

"Alright, ma'am. We'll make it happen."

She hung up the phone. Washington was a fickle city. She hated using her authority to get what she wanted, but damn her if she wasn't prepared to call the president to demand this doctor let her see her husband.


When she was finally able to see her Henry after she had gotten to the hospital, she had trouble deciding to enter his room. He looked normal. She knew how radiation worked - it wasn't something entirely visible. There were burns on his hands, she could see, but he seemed fine. He looked like he was sleeping.

Finally, she got up the courage to go in. Henry stirred slightly when the door opened.

Elizabeth tried to smile, wanting to give him hope. "Hey, baby."

"Come here." His voice was raspy, breathy, and weak.

She walked closer to him. "I'm here. Don't worry. I'm here."

"Are you okay? They take you to the bunker?"

God. Henry was worried about her. He was suffering acute radiation poisoning, and he was worried about her.

"I'm fine, babe. They took me to the bunker. We were all fine. It's you I'm worried about." She held her gloved hand to the side of his face.

"Baby, you need to be ready if I don't make it." Henry's voice was tight.

"Stop. Please. I can't do this right now. Don't send me into another panic attack." She hadn't been meaning to tell him that she had had an attack in the bunker.

Henry's eyes looked at her with reproach. "You just told me you were fine. Panic attacks aren't fine."

"You're in the hospital! I can't make you comfort me! I'm not that selfish. I need you to be hopeful."

"Elizabeth. Breathe through the stress, okay? Don't treat me differently just because you're scared. I'm still here."

She knew Henry was right. Taking a breath, she acknowledged that if she tried to hide herself from him, it wouldn't help either of them.

"I'm sorry. You're right. I had a panic attack. It started when the bomb went off. I tried to evacuate the event before it went off. I knew. But I couldn't get everyone out in time. And then I didn't now where the kids or you were. And then they found the kids... But you. Then they found you... It was too much."

Seeing Henry want to comfort her, she added, "But I'm fine now. You're alive. That's all I need."

"I'm still here, babe. Are you calm enough now? How long has it been? Do you feel like you're going to panic again?"

"I'm fine as long as I'm with you. Just let me relax with you for a while until we talk about anything big. I'll be fine."

Henry sighed. She wasn't making this conversation easier. He knew only he could calm her panic attacks so completely. He was her desire when she was stressed. In Iran, he had been what was inaccessible to her, so when her panic went haywire, she needed to prove to herself that she wasn't in Iran, and her proof was that he was with her.

"Alright, come snuggle. We need to rest." He opened his arms to her, and she settled down in his arms. "Here, can you take off this mask and hat thing?"

"They told me that we shouldn't risk sharing germs since your immune system might be compromised."

"Well, we've shared germs a lot over the years. I don't think you have any germs I don't have by now. And they made you take a shower, anyway, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, well, I want to play with your hair, so this ridiculous hat needs to go."

Elizabeth giggled and removed the hat and mask. She nuzzled herself into Henry's side, feeling his soothing presence calm her nerves.

Henry allowed himself to relax and fall into a light sleep. He was still there, but he knew he wouldn't be much longer.