Already Gone - Chapter 2

A/N: Please listen to Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson while you read this. It will help you understand the motivation to this story. This is the 2nd reward for the Feb. challenge on B_S. Great Job Ladies.

This was the original first chapter of this story. I wrote it months ago and let it sit. I thought about it being a one shot but the more I thought about it the more I came up with. I cried the entire time I typed this chapter. I hope you all enjoy.

Disclaimer: Not mine just playing with them.


Stephanie's POV

I realized today that no matter how much I wished my life would've turned out differently, I wouldn't trade one day, not one moment. I stood, taking a final look around; reliving all the good memories in my mind one final time, trying to etch them into my heart before I walked out the door for the last time and away from my life here in Trenton. I thought back to cuddling with Joe and my incredible night with Ranger. I fought the tears that threatened to fall.

I came to a decision a few days ago. A decision, that shined light to the fact that I'd never be the woman that Joe needed. As long as I'm here, he'd keep waiting for me change into his perfect 'Burg wife. I didn't want to settle for a lifestyle that wasn't me. He deserved to have the life he'd wanted with the white picket fence, kids, and a stay at home wife. I was holding him back and it was killing me.

At the time I'd made my decision about Joe, I also came to the realization that while I didn't want to change for Joe; I dreamed of Ranger changing his lifestyle for me. It wasn't fair of me to try to convince him that his life could lend itself to relationships. I learned a lot about myself when I figured out that I wanted the white picket fence with kids running around only not with Joe, but with Ranger. I realized that the 'Burg' life was fine as long as he was there with me. The man, that no matter what happened, I could never have. I tried to tell Ranger that I loved him and he didn't believe me. He sent Tank over the next day to tell me that he'd been called for an emergency meeting. Ranger was due back later this morning. He proved to me the other night that his lifestyle would never lend itself towards me.

When I came to these realizations, I figured out that I had one option, only one. That option was for me to leave. And, I'd have to be sneaky about it. If Joe or Ranger figured out what I was up to, they would come up with a way to stop me, convince me to stay. I'd left them both notes in my apartment. I figured that as soon as I didn't show up at the bonds office in the morning that Lula would call Tank. Tank would call Ranger, and they'd realize that I'm gone when they arrived at my apartment and found the notes.

Writing the notes, to the men I love, was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. I hoped that they understood why I left and that they needed to let me go and move on with their lives. It was for the best. I sat the notes on the kitchen table on top of a clear CD case. I grabbed Rex's aquarium and locked the door for the last time and didn't look back.

Ranger's POV

I had been giving Steph some space after the other night. I didn't know what she would remember and I was afraid she would tell me she didn't mean anything she said.

Tank called me to say that Steph was missing. Lula had called him saying that Steph was over two hours late for their shopping trip. I rushed to her apartment. How had this girl from the 'Burg gotten under my skin? I was in the process of changing my lifestyle so that I could allow Steph into my life, completely. I had finished my government contract and was in the middle of doing some restructuring within Rangeman to allow me more free time. Time I planned to spend with her.

When I pulled into her lot, I noticed her car still there. I rushed into the building desperate to find her safe. I picked the lock on her door and made my way inside. I stopped dead in my tracks as I spotted two letters and CD's on the counter, where Rex's cage usually sat. It was missing and the entire apartment felt empty. My legs felt like they were going to give out as I reached for the envelope with my name on it.

*******

Carlos,

I'm sorry to leave this way. It seems like the only way for me to leave without causing everyone more pain. I've screwed everything up. I realized that I'm not being fair to Joe and that he deserves better. He deserves the burg lifestyle that he so desperately wants. As long as I'm here he'll never find that.

When I realized that I couldn't change into what Joe wanted me to be I figured out that I would change for you. While I don't want a picket fence and kids with Joe, I desperately want those things with you. I realized that I'm not being fair to you either. You have explained your feelings on this subject multiple times. I understand that your life doesn't lend itself to relationships, but I wanted you to change that for me. It's just wrong of me to want that. Please know that I do love you. I know I tried to tell you the other night, but things didn't quite go according to my plans. I get it now, I understand that you love me but not in the same way. Regardless of how you feel about me, I need you to know that you are the love of my life. I will miss you. I hope that you have a wonderful life and that 'someday' you'll find that your lifestyle has changed so that you can be happy with some lucky woman.

Please don't look for me. Please don't be mad at me. I need for you and Joe to be happy and that won't happen as long as I'm here. All my trackers and my cell are in my car on the parking lot outside.

All my love, Always and forever,

Stephanie

*******

I couldn't believe she was gone. I hit speed dial 2.

"Yo" Tank answered

"She's on the run. Call in everyone. I've got to find her." I barked trying desperately to hold onto my control as tears threatened to fall.

TBC …

A/N: I know that a lot of people dislike stories about Steph running away. But, this story isn't really about that. In her mind she laid it all out for Ranger and he rejected her. She is desperately trying to do the right thing for both of the men that she loves.

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