A/N: So here's the next chapter, took a while but I had something to do AND it's longer so I guess it's justified. Anyway in this one this will finally get interesting, sorry for the long start though. I really worked on the idea of portraying a normal day that turns bad. Anyway, hope you'll enjoy it and thanks for all the feedback in advance.
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Chapter 2:
Man overboard
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You fall into the water and the shock from the ice cold liquid paralyzes your muscles. You're unable to move.
One of the first things you think about are all those breath holding bets you lost as a kid. You remember you had a friend who was able to hold his breath for two minutes underwater and for three out in the open. Unfortunately, you aren't the lucky bastard.
Your clothes are getting soaked and you gain weight, your slow descent into the watery hell gains speed.
You don't want this. You are afraid. But if you stayed behind you would be alone. Haruhi wanted you here - you went. Nobody really planned the things to turn out like this. The water pushes your eyes back into the sockets, but if nothing you at least want to see it through to the end. Live as long as you're alive.
Then your eyes are closing as your brain starts flickering out on you.
Your lungs are getting crushed, they hurt like if you ran and smoked at the same time.
You don't want to but you're losing control anyway, so you give up and cough up the oxygen you were holding in. The pain goes away, but now you hold the urge to breathe in. You have to hold it. Self-preservation. It doesn't matter how much the brain screams for oxygen, you just won't get it.
Deal with it.
And your eardrums explode. And you become one with all the water around you.
You're not a person anymore. You don't need a name anymore. You don't have to be who you are anymore. You're just weight, meat, fish feed. You're part of the water, of something bigger, you're just one object hidden inside of the bigger picture. And of course the trick to forgetting the big picture is to look at everything close-up.
And you continue to float down as though impatient to sink into the darkness that is opening up to swallow you.
-
Pink and gray sky, the color of muscle. With my mind emptied I just realized I was already walking the street on my way to school. Some truck screamed past and its exhaust drifted into dark flowers that hanged on the air and faded away like if I was staring through a mirror stained with my own fingerprints. And I was, earlier today. I just stood in the bathroom watching my reflection, splashing cold water to my face, trying to forget I had the dream again.
In the end I fell asleep, probably because I tried so hard to stay awake.
Something was weird though, now I had the dream two days in a row. Usually it left me alone for at least three days after I had it. But now it was recurring. Maybe something was coming. One thing was clear though, no matter what, I couldn't let myself fall asleep today.
Man, I'm such a loser.
I kicked some stone out of my way.
As much as I hated to admit it I looked forward to the club, I looked forward to Haruhi and her schemes, because with her on the patrol there was just no possible way that I'd fall asleep.
Other than that it was your typical Thursday morning. It was still a little cold, but the snow kept melting slowly and the streets weren't that slippery anymore. The sun was still weak, but the rays felt welcoming and warm. Everyone had that kind of a grumpy expression, cuz it wasn't Friday and they still had one more day of school to worry about before the weekend. Or was it? I looked over at the other side of the road, the students were smiling over there. When I got to the gate the feeling intensified, I felt like I did my first day in school. Nervous, unsure of what comes next. I wanted to run away.
"What's this about?" I said aloud as the people started to clear me a path. "It's not like I reek of dead fish."
I felt the eyes on me, but when I looked they were already looking at something else. But I knew what they were looking at. For a second I didn't get it, my brain probably numbed by sleepiness but then the gears got oiled up and clicked together and I realized what was wrong.
Rumors spread faster than plague.
I buried my hands in my pockets and let out a sigh, like I could avoid this anyhow. Only few people know what happened to me during that incident and just Haruhi knows the whole truth, so whatever the rumor is it's mutated and untrue. Maybe not even close to the real thing. But it's there and people need only a little to stare at you like idiots. They need to talk about other people behind their backs. They need to escape their own secrets. They have to turn a blindfold over their own trash. And this applies to everyone.
In the hallway it was more tense than outside because of the cramped space, people tried to walk as much away from me as possible without any sort of an eye contact. But it wasn't that bad, all in all people just avoided me. It was my class I feared about the most.
The bell rang, I had to go in.
Well, here goes.
I slid open the door and almost immediately all the chatter inside stopped. Some of my classmates even jumped up, frightened like. I could easily read what went on in their minds.
Speak of the devil.
The atmosphere was dry, heavy. Holding the door, I wasn't sure what I should do. I scanned the class one more time and Haruhi wasn't there. There was no reason to linger around yet.
I smiled and turned around, "Sorry, wrong funeral."
One old saying ran through my mind, friendship ain't worth a sh-
"Hi," said Haruhi walking up to me in the hallway. "Why aren't you already in, Kyon? You trying to ditch? You know that your efforts are meaningless."
"Yo, nah, just forgot my ghost-hunting equipment," I replied. "Couldn't really know I'll walk in on a class full of high-class ghosts though."
Her eyes lit up and she ran past me, then she turned to me, "What the hell is this about, stop fooling around already!"
Then I walked in.
"Oh," she just watched it for a short while. "Now I get it. What happened?"
I put my bag on my desk and sat down, "Dunno, they probably got to know about the incident. Then they connected the dots, but the picture came out differently because their dots weren't numbered."
"In other words they're gossiping us," Haruhi sat down herself, then threw her bag on the desk angry as hell.
Well, just me, in fact.
"And why is that?"
Maybe because you were the talk of the school long before any of this.
The angry expression she plastered up before shifted a gear and she switched in a lot more scarier look. Her pissed-off-o-meter was probably skyrocketing. To put in an animal, I felt as if I just pulled a lion by its tail.
She stood up and opened her mouth prepared to shout at me, but then looked at the class. Haruhi stared for a while then just sat down. Hm, I just watched a bomb worth billions innocently puff. I turned around and understood. The class wasn't as noisy as usual and everyone was staring at us. I turned back to her and she just shrugged, then she calmly picked up her pen prepared to take notes.
I also turned back to the blackboard, crossed my arms and mumbled to myself, "Fine, I'll sing your freaking divorce papers for Christ's sake."
From behind I heard something snap.
A pen maybe?
Smiling I shook my head to myself.
Anyway about the rumors, I decided not to worry about that, it wasn't like I had any means to stop it. In fact frantically trying to decline them would be only worse. And whatever they bring, words that don't come from Haruhi will never hurt me. It could also be much, much worse. Rumors about me, okay nevermind. I can ignore them, wait them out. Now imagine if they concerned Suzumiya. What would happen? Nothing pleasant, that's what.
"Okay, then," the teacher finished writing some notes into the class-book and stood up.
She took a pile of papers with her and gave it to Kakinouchi, told him to spread it around the class.
The test from yesterday?
Eying my classmates and their reactions I couldn't help but feel a little tensed up. I was kinda ready for it though, but still... I mean, damn, don't teachers have anything better to do with their time? We had this test yesterday and here go the results. I thought I could play safe for a while.
Kakinouchi took a paper out of the pile and looked my direction. I felt the sudden urge to use the bathroom. But then I decided to just screw it, I already failed. I knew it. I accepted it, why should I ruin my day by being tense about something that already happened.
He placed the paper on my desk and muttered, "Looks pretty bad, man."
Like I asked for your damn opinion.
He shook his head and continued spreading the tests.
But nothing can be done about that I guess. People like other people's failure. It's similar to watching someone fail to bungee-jump on TV. It's fun without the danger - it isn't happening to you. If it was, you wouldn't have that ugly smile plastered on your face.
I took the paper and immediately rolled my eyes.
Guess I prayed for a miracle to the wrong God.
I got F with a side note, "Come see me before you go home."
This could be translated as, "I'll tell you again all about you failing the subject, you stupid little asshole, how can't you get it right, it's so easy."
Whatever, I couldn't care less about the teacher's opinion, as long as my parents didn't know about it. That reminded me to make up some decent excuse for repeating this year. Only one thing came to mind, blame the sickness. The pneumonia is behind it all. I smiled, never thought the incident would actually come in handy. I could probably use it when they'd want some housework from me again, I could even stay home for a few months. But I didn't want that, not like I hate being home but I can't be holed up there 24/7. I'd be bored to open the math exercise book and we don't want that, now do we? And of course then there's the dream.
Anyway, I turned around interested in what my girlfriend scored.
I indicated with my chin and she threw the paper on the desk, disgusted.
An A-, now that's the end of the world. She wasn't the top for once and it was like a second place in some race for her or something. The silver isn't gold, I guess.
"What are you so angry about?" I asked, pissed that she's pissed over this. "Some people would kill to get this grade once without cheating."
She crossed her arms, frowned and looked out of the window, "People like you?"
For a second I didn't realize the cue to see what I got, so I stared like an idiot.
"Oh, yeah," I finally got it. "I got C, I guess I'll pass with that."
Lying to her was like trying to extinguish a volcano with one tiny droplet of water. It wouldn't even reach the lava.
Haruhi nodded to herself, "I expected something more, because it was me who tutored you, but I haven't got much of a material to work with, after all."
Sure, sure, and of course I'm the reason you haven't got an A+ too.
"But of course you are, I had to concentrate on two things at once, teaching someone isn't quite a breather when you have to study yourself," she said looking back at me with that boasting kind of a face.
But of course.
I turned back around, thinking just why exactly am I dating her anyway.
"Has to have something to do with the pneumonia," I whispered to myself, smiling. "What other reason would there be, than my brain malfunctioning?"
Then the teacher collected the tests back and told us to open our notebooks, it was time to move the lesson on. It was something called Permutation. If I wasn't already used to this crap, I'd feel the same way Alice in the wonderland probably did. Dunno when it started, but I hate Math. I looked over my shoulder and saw an already eager Haruhi swallow up all the numbers that appeared on the board, no doubt she already figured it all out. I looked at her notebook, she wrote a few quick calculations then looked at the board, nodded to herself, closed the notebook and went to sleep.
I yawned.
She reminded me that I didn't want to fall asleep. Looking at my watch it was impossible, there was just no way I'd be able to stay awake through this. I had to do something if I didn't want to drown.
I raised up my hand, "Excuse me, may I go the bathroom? Please?"
I remembered that she was one of those teachers that insisted on a sentence put exactly that way.
She turned around and thought for a while, probably pondering my recent grade free-fall, but then gestured toward the door with a chalk in her hand.
I left the class without much of my previous attention and really went to the bathroom, but that was just the first stop.
Inside, I splashed some cold water to my face. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the very last stall in the mirror, shaking my head I left the restroom. I walked through the main hall and right into the cafeteria, there were some vending machines lined on one side of it. I chose iced coffee and waited. It started to roll out of that string thing. Then it got stuck in the middle of the screw. It almost looked like someone wanted me to sleep, like if someone wanted me to drown. Shaking the needless paranoia away, I grabbed the machine in both hands and using its own weight smashed with the upper half of it into the wall behind.
My can of iced coffee fell out along with a bag of chips as a bonus. Sometimes things work just fine when you add force to it.
Well, not like I'm allergic to potatoes.
I opened the coffee, downed half of it and went back to my class.
Before I entered the room I hid the coffee can in my pocket and the chips under my shirt.
When I got inside Haruhi was already up and fiercely looking at me.
"There you are," she nagged as I sat down. "Thought you went delusional and managed to pass out on the roof again."
Ha, ha, ha...
Funny.
I handed her the bag of chips and extended my left cheek for some kind of a gratitude.
She took it and pushed my head back with her hand, "Thanks, but you're not getting it."
I thought we were dating.
"We are, but that doesn't mean I have to kiss you in front of everyone," she said opening the bag of chips.
Yeah, yeah.
That divorce joke I made before, sometimes I really feel I'm married to her for forty years or more already.
The rest of the morning lessons, I felt myself dozing off a few times, but I managed to hold it with the help of the coffee. I had to buy three more cans and my heart was starting to race a little, but as I thought at the time – screw my heart, everything's better than the nightmare. When lunch came Haruhi strangely stayed and brought up some food she supposedly made. I was grateful for the company - it kept me awake.
"So how was it?" she asked out of the blue as I was finishing up.
Now that I think about it, she kept her mouth shut through the most of the meal. Guess even someone like her gets self-conscious about certain things.
"It was good, a little rough around the edges like you, but good nevertheless," I said.
I was stuffing my mouth with sharp chopsticks made from stainless steel - pissing her off was the smart thing to do.
But instead of blowing right into my face, her face darkened, well kind of, "I was serious... you know. It took me quite a while to make it."
Maybe that's why she wanted me over at her house yesterday, to cook something with her. Maybe that's why she couldn't keep me a company later.
"Me too, it really was good," I didn't know what else to say.
I'm such a loser when things get serious.
No one expect my mom, or grandmother ever did something like this for me and all I was able to say was that.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Taniguchi with Kunikida, they had that 'see two love-birds kind of look', but I didn't care.
"So what are you planning for today?" I said cleaning up the leftovers, "With the club I mean."
"I dunno, nothing special I guess," she shrugged and took back the box the lunch came in.
I sighed, that didn't sound good. I slapped at my pockets. There was some change, but I didn't know how much of coffee my body was able to take in in about seven hours. I still remember my uncle and his habit of drinking six cups of coffee whenever he came over. He died of a heart attack in his mid-thirties. But as I said, everything's better than the dream. There's nothing like it. When you wake up and realize that it was all just a dream, but you still feel that if you didn't realize that, you'd really drown right there... I never was on the verge of drowning before, but I thought it would look and feel exactly as it did in the dream.
I glanced sideways again, "Those two are really irking me."
Not waiting for any sort of reply I stood up and approached Taniguchi and Kunikida.
"'Sup," I greeted them. "So, what's the word?"
I pulled back a chair and sat, resting my hands on the backrest.
They looked at each other and smiled.
"The rumor is you are on drugs and when you got locked in the school you went mad without your shot," Taniguchi talked calmly, unaffected by it at all. "And then there's the other rumor that now you are dating with Suzumiya because you raped her and that finally kicked some sense into her."
So that's what it's about.
"Nah, don't tell me you really believe all that crap," I sighed. "Actually it involved only a healthy amount of stay in the kitchen from my side and bing she was mine."
"Yeah, we noticed the lunch she made you, so the story that you're dating is true then?" Kunikida said, eager-like.
I guess, but if you ask her she'll just deny it.
"Why? I thought you had complete control over her," Taniguchi put his hands behind his head.
"Control over Suzumiya Haruhi?" I laughed to myself. "If you only knew what you're talking about."
"I guess you're right," Taniguchi said and Kunikida nodded to himself.
So yeah...
When the awkward silence settled in, I decided to bring up a more cheerful topic, at least for me and Kunikida.
"How did that blind date go anyway?" I said to Taniguchi, playing an uninterested voice.
"What? He went on a blind date?" Kunikida smiled at me then turned to Taniguchi, whose face changed shade toward the red one a little. "So did the fact that she didn't know you helped?"
Good one, man.
But Taniguchi just turned away, "I don't wanna talk about it."
Come on, I told you about me, now it's your turn.
"Yeah, be fair for once," but no matter how Kunikida and me pressed he wouldn't tell us about it.
Didn't know you were such a wussy. Nevermind, see you guys later. Don't make the rumors go more haywire, okay?
I waved at them, and left smiling Kunikida and wide-eyed Taniguchi behind and went back to my seat.
"All that was to just tell them to stop staring at us?" Haruhi said, she was probably watching the entire conversation.
I scratched my back, she burned a hole in all right.
"Yeah, as you can see they stopped," I pointed at them.
I knew Taniguchi wouldn't look at me for a while and when he didn't, Kunikida didn't really have a reason to either.
"Well that's two," but to satisfy Haruhi is harder than finding the meaning of all life. "About twenty-seven others left."
"I can't exactly stop the rumors and you know that," I turned in my chair. "I don't pack any neuralyzers."
"You should at least try to, it's your fault by the way," she kept her voice very informant like, like a secretary.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We all know that it wasn't my fault we got locked in, but as my father often says, with women it's easier to comply. I thanked her for the lunch, the bell rang and the rest of the lessons started. It was uneventful and sped past fast since I was dozing off half the time. But I haven't got the dream, so I didn't sleep. When the last lesson ended and everyone cheerfully left the classroom, Haruhi stopped just before the door and said, "So are we going or what?"
The first time she waited for me before the club? I'd pop some champagne if I had any.
"Since when do lazy bastards like me deserve this kind of sympathy," I took my bag and approached her.
"Well, you're my boyfriend after all," she said.
"So, you have accepted the truth?" I made a Darth Vader.
"I did, but sometimes it seems I'm the only giving side," she said. "I really want to receive from time to time."
I scratched my head, "What do you mean? If you're still bitter about yesterday, then okay I'm sorry, but I couldn't really help it."
"It's not just that..."She looked as if she drank a bottle vinegar. "Some days you seem to be distancing yourself from me, like if you were forced to date me. Like if someone ordered you to."
No, no, no, it's not about that. It's just that... my head hurts from time to time and I'm a little edgy is all.
That is the official version I told her, the truth is I keep my distance because I'm afraid. Scared of how my approach would mess things up in the world. You know what I mean. Like a perfect marriage where after half a year the arguing starts. In that case few plates would be broken, a black eye at the worst. In our case – Apocalypse. Then again I want to approach her, I want to be with her, but it's just... I don't know, getting emotional again. And you don't want that, right?
So, back to the plot.
After that she didn't push the matter further and nor did I. We went to the club. I opened the door and held it for her pretending a real gentleman, I pushed it even more and bowed at her sarcastically.
She just walked in, no reaction.
Haruhi greeted everyone, in her usual cheerful tone. I thanked God that the previous melancholy left her. At least for today.
I followed her in, "Hey Nagato, how's that Xenomorph gig going? Heard the parasites were getting all the odds."
Nagato just looked up, licked her finger lightly and turned a page.
Guess someone should install that taking-in joke and smile program, well nevermind.
"Kyon-kun?" Asahina-san, hearing my previous rambling approached me almost cautiously. "Are you okay? Don't you have a fever again?"
I put my bag down and walked to the window, stretching myself, "No, why? I'm perfectly fine."
Was she the only one to notice the bags under my eyes? I had to do something about it. Cover it up with a lame pun maybe.
"More importantly, how's HG, isn't 802 701 a little bit too much?" I smiled to show her it was just a joke, but she acted up anyway.
Her eyes widened, the teapot in her hands clattered as she jumped up and stopped dead in her tracks.
"W-What do you mean?" she started to pour me a tea, almost spilled it all over the table.
I shook my head to myself, "Forget it."
I sat down and sipped on my tea, "Oh, and thanks for the tea."
"Would you stop throwing these random jokes out of the blue, Kyon, I'm trying to concentrate here, okay?" Haruhi, typing something, called for me from behind the monitor.
I looked at Koizumi and he smirked.
No way man, I won't give you the pleasure and make a lame joke about you so you could smile upon it, deconstruct it and turn it right against me.
I sneered back at him shaking my head. He shrugged.
Nobody laughed through my entire show. I guess they're a little fed up with me by now, because it's almost everyday that I do these kinds of things. Before I didn't even know why, I just did. For fun. But now I did it because I had to, I'd do anything to keep myself awake.
"So what are we going to do, now?" I asked aloud and everyone not just Haruhi.
"You're free to do anything you want as long as it's inside this room, I have to look something up," Haruhi said over the screen and went back to typing something, then clicking with the mouse.
Self-induced boredom? Normal days I would be overjoyed, but now I didn't like it.
"We could play some game to pass the time," Koizumi spoke up, bringing something that looked like a chess.
Oh well, the only chess that I found fun was that old computer game where the pieces actually killed each other when you scored. Was it Battle Chess? Nevermind.
"I suppose so," I answered and he started to set it up.
My eyes already began to close and we didn't even played the first round.
I popped another can of coffee.
I got a feeling that this is gonna be a very long afternoon.
-
My last piece defending the queen fell and I sprawled back into the chair. Koizumi had his usual smile, but kind of twisted. Guess he wanted to show an apology, or he just found another way to creep me out of my cool. Or he just sneered right at me because he won a third round in a row. Then again maybe it wasn't the third. After all the coffee I drank, I got a feeling a Duracell rabbit has. On the outside I was all fine and dandy, but somewhere deep down in the core I was still as messed up as I was one coffee ago.
"Another one?" Koizumi asked, never running out of energy.
I stretched, one more game and I'm dead for sure – with the nightmare or without it.
Shaking my head I denied him and looked at what the others were doing.
Asahina-san was doing something over at the kitchen corner, cleaning it up probably because she spilled something in the end. Nagato was still sitting and I wasn't sure if she made even one movement you don't need when you read a book. For a minute I just watched her. She actually blinked right now, never was completely sure she did so before. And Haruhi was still doing something hidden behind the screen. I rubbed my eyes and yawned greatly.
"What are you doing anyway?" I never seen her use the computer this long before, she always got too bored to keep staring at it for more than five seconds.
"Ah nothing important really, just surfing around," her voice reeked of boredom.
Found anything good?
"Nothing in particular."
I got an urge to ask her what the hell is wrong with her today, but I wasn't exactly ready for another heart to heart conversation that we already went through today, so I'll just let it slide.
Then Nagato closed her book. I looked at her and set my watch.
Everyone started to pack, but I stayed behind making some lame excuse about the need to use the bathroom.
"See you tomorrow then," Haruhi said almost sadly and left.
I closed the door and left the building.
I had to take a shortcut, not because I had to save time to get somewhere sooner, not because I needed to take care of something. But because I had to disappear.
"Come see me when you go home all right."
Honestly, I wasn't planning to show up the minute I got back the test. Anymore lecture about how I'm going to fail the damned subject and I'll flip out. I failed. I know that. It's my problem. Stop bitching about it.
So I left the school in a hurry, I took a 'shortcut' around the back of the school. I walked as quickly as I could, because if the teacher caught me in the process then that would be bad. But if I managed to leave the school, I could make some excuse. Something like, I forgot or I had something important to do.
But sometimes the world kicks you in the teeth and forces you to see that things aren't always as simple as that.
Things have a nasty habit of going bad when I'm supposed to leave the school.
If life gave me somekind of a lesson in the past, it was to leave when I still had the chance.
"Help!"
Somewhere in the distance I head a muffled cry, more like a choke. I was in the middle of the school's courtyard, in between the gym hall and the back of the main building. I looked around, but I didn't see anything, anyone. Everything screamed for me to leave it, to just let it be. But then there was something else. Somewhere deep beneath the other sensible voices there was one that said, go check it out somebody could be in danger.
Yeah, somebody was in danger, me.
The muffled cry came again this time from my left, just around a corner.
I walked up to the wall and glued myself to it, then I advanced along it.
I stopped took a deep breath and ignoring my conflicting feelings, I looked.
Around the corner I saw a girl being held down on the ground by a guy. With one hand he held both of her hands up and had her pinned, with the other hand he grabbed the upper part of her uniform. From where I was, I could see that he was ready to take her right there on the ground. Not caring about the speed of my thought process he torn open her shirt. He didn't even try to take off her clothes, he just reached for his belt with his free hand and was ready to go.
Déjà vu.
The girl's chest was rising and falling fast as she was breathing violently. She was blushing so much even her arms and legs were red. And she was crying.
And then it happened, she looked at me. Right into my eyes. Her eyes were full of tears and even though her mouth already gave up, her eyes - they asked me for help.
But I felt as if I was really part of the wall, all I was able to do was plaster myself more.
Here I am. It's payback time. I dare you to, come and get me. Somehow it all made sense in my head. But this wasn't exactly the thing I asked for.
I looked around the corner again. The girl whimpered. Trying to decide what to do, I couldn't help but think how exactly it feels to lay on the ground desperately and to be completely controlled by your enemy. I looked into her eyes, trying to find the answer. She saw me again. But now she recognized me - I was the one who tried to rape Haruhi. We shared a strange intimacy.
Damn.
I walked up to them and asked the girl, "Do you need any help?"
'Hypocrite' wasn't really the word, but the first that came to mind.
For a second tension thicker than asphalt lingered around, then the guy spun so fast I almost fell back.
For the first time I got a decent look at the duo. The thug and the girl had both this school's uniform and that was just about it, I haven't seen any of them anywhere before. Even now the particulars of the guy's face are dissolving into a thousand others, but I remember he had dirty blond hair and mercury eyes.
The guy buckled back his belt and spat, "So he came after all, you weren't lying."
Even in situation as this his voice, just as his eyes, was calm. That probably meant that something of this caliber happened to him twice a week.
I looked over at the girl, she seemed okay, but was in a sort of shock. How did I know? If she wasn't, she'd run away.
The guy pulled up his sleeves and without any sort of a warning leaped at me. I fell down on the ground, but I managed to somehow avoid him. Now the girl was behind me and we faced each other with the thug. It was a desperate situation. And I couldn't shake the feeling that I saw it all somewhere before.
"Fine with me," I said.
Spitting out the dirt I raised up, leaving my bag on the ground. He took off his coat and was undoing his tie. I pushed my tie under my shirt, there was no need to take off my jacket. If I remember correctly, I was going to lose anyhow.
The guy watched me, then laughed, "Leave. You don't want me to gut you like an animal. Take up my generous offer and leave when you still have the chance."
I considered it.
I looked at the girl behind me, she was in no shape to run. She was shaking behind me covering up her chest. So I couldn't run either, no matter how much I wanted to.
"Fuck you," I didn't sound tough at all.
And that was the last drop, I didn't even have the chance to bring up my hands and he already got both my arms behind my head and rammed my head into the ground until my teeth bit open the inside of my cheek and my eye was swollen shut and was bleeding.
Somehow it didn't even hurt.
He stopped and started to walk away.
But I was still there and there was no pain. There was no fear. I felt like if I fought every other day and got so rough things like didn't even matter to me anymore. Somehow I trusted myself to handle him. I felt I was carved out of wood.
As I pulled myself up, I looked down and there was a print of half my face in blood on the ground.
I smiled, if this is everything he's got, I'll kick him out to Mars.
"Not so fast."
I grabbed him by his shoulder and turned with him, then I brought up a fist. Everything accelerated and like a hammer my fist sank into his cheek and he fell over. There was an unpleasant crunch in my hand. I wasn't used to punch, so I broke a few bones in my hand.
Damn. This is bad.
The hand hurt like hell. And now after all that, the pain in the cheek and eye kicked in. It was probably just temporarily subdued by adrenaline. But I couldn't show him a weakness, so I was pretending that nothing happened.
The guy gathered saliva in his mouth and spit blood, "Now that was some punch."
"I didn't want to," he said rubbing his jaw. "But I'll have to get serious, can't really afford to shame myself in front of a woman."
Smiling he reached into his pocket and brought up a knife. Well, no, not exactly brought up. More like flipped up. It wasn't any usual knife, I think this one is called a butterfly knife or balisong. Something like that. He flipped it close, did some twirling trick, then held it back-ways.
He handled it like a pro. In other words, I was quite screwed.
There were many different things running through my mind clashing with primal prehistoric instincts that somehow found their way up. But I don't remember all the things I thought about at the time. That's the problem with every story, you tell it after the fact. But that doesn't matter, because even if I wanted, it's impossible to describe every single feeling that went through someone's head. That and it'd be ungodly boring. And of course you don't want to hear about my feelings, you want action.
The important thing is that I'm here telling you this story and that means I'm alive and now I'm gonna tell you how I did it.
Not like I faced off someone with a knife before and the last time I got into a fight was in middle school, but anyone could tell that best thing I could do was to run. And this isn't a cowards way out, this is sensible. After all the thug twirling the batangas over there could be on drugs or just plain crazy. And nobody needs a dead hero.
But I couldn't run, the girl was still shaking there behind me. She was probably deranged and thought I could protect her.
So, as I said, I didn't have the black belt, but when I was a kid I went to a karate club for just the heck of it, because it was cool at the time. I went there for just a week though, but luckily for me I got the basics of a knife defense.
How was it again?
They told us that if you can't run away try to talk to the thug, convince him out of it.
"What do you want? I have some money," I said calmly staring right into his eyes.
I felt like staring down a barrel of a gun. He sent shivers down my spine.
I reached into my coat and took out my wallet, then placed it on the ground before me.
He laughed hard and flipped with the knife again, this time it was some trick, but too fast for me to recognize, "We already got past this point, now I want blood."
The plan failed, I should try to talk to him before I actually punched him. I couldn't exactly know he was packing a knife, now could I?
He really wanted to stab me, kill me. And I couldn't run, the only way was to disarm him.
Calming my racing mind, I told myself that the worst he could do was stab me. People survive multiple stab wounds all the time... Damn, this isn't helping at all.
I pressed my brain for somekind of a hint, some answer to this question. How to survive? I tried hard to remember something that could help me, anything what I already experienced.
But I quit the club too soon to actually get to the disarming part. And it was so long ago and I don't remember much.
The thug flipped the knife one last time tired of stalling and started to near me, I kept the distance between us.
The only thing I remembered was that when I was packing up from the karate club, already bored with it and made up about my leaving, this one kid approached me. He was more interested in it then me for sure, he already had a few belts and a few years of practice. He asked why I was leaving, I told him that it's not for me, that I don't see any practical use - like I'm gonna get attacked with a knife. He brought up a dummy knife with some red ink and threw it to me saying, I'll show you a few tricks. I attacked him, but he always disarmed me. Then he showed me a trick that anyone could use, I even managed to learn it, the only problem was that no matter what sort of technique you used, no matter how good you were the knife would always mark red either of us.
No matter now.
I told myself I wasn't a person anymore, we were animals facing each other. Just two objects in friction in the mass of all the other objects. 'Thug' versus 'Kyon' - animals don't need names to kill each other.
I quickly remembered the trick I learned eternity ago and stopped backing away.
I was one step away from the girl, the thug was already at me.
This was it.
The guy was almost ready to stab, but I was faster.
I gathered saliva in my mouth and spat in his face.
He backed away a little, brought both his hands to his face and stopped advancing.
I only had a fraction of a second to finish him.
I told myself I had all the time in the world.
I dropped to my side, as I did I hooked my left foot around the back of his front foot and with my other foot I stamped hard on the front of his knee. There was a loud snap. I can't really say if I broke it or just dislocated it, but the important thing is that the smile which was creeping on his face shattered and he fell on his back. He reached for his foot, obviously in pain.
I stood up and observed him as he clutched his leg, then I took his belt and tied his hands to his feet.
I felt unstoppable.
"I won..."
Nothing hurt anymore.
Screw the eye.
Screw the mouth.
I began to laugh.
I was not an animal.
I felt like a God.
Overjoyed and laughing all to myself I remembered the girl, but when I turned around she wasn't there anymore. She probably ran away at some point, I couldn't really hold that against her.
I picked up my wallet and bag and turned to leave.
"This isn't the end... I'll find you..." But first I had some more mouth to shut.
I kicked in his side and he coughed blood, then he passed out.
And then I saw it, the knife.
Balisong. I'm not a weapon enthusiast, but that was one hell of a knife. I picked it up to see what exactly was supposed to kill me, it was just a knife. But still, it wasn't half bad. Looked personal. I felt its weight for a while and realized that it was decorated with ivory. Good looking and expensive.
"How hard can this be- ouch," I tried to flip it open, but it was harder than it looked and I cut myself.
Nevermind, I closed it by hand.
Finders keepers.
I decided to keep the knife as a memento of the fight, I won after all. It was like a cup or a medal for me. I was thinking of hanging it on the wall in my room.
A real trophy.
"I won and in the end I saved the girl," I said again to myself.
"I'm a hero."
Sounds good.
-
I sat down on my bed and smiled looking at the knife on my desk. There was some trouble explaining why was I so roughed up, but I managed to convince my parents that I slipped on some stairs that were still frozen. Mom asked me what the hell do you have to smirk about a few times as she was bandaging me though. I couldn't really tell her that I'm a Super-Man. I couldn't really tell her that from now on I'm not 'Kyon', but Rocky or Jackie Chan or Spike Spiegel or something like that.
And as I sat on the bed smiling like an idiot, it dawned on me why exactly I pulled something this big. Because I knew I wouldn't have the dream after that. That's why I didn't run away. To prove that anything's possible even though you're not a reality warper.
To just stop the nightmare.
I set the alarm on my phone and went to sleep not scared about anything and immediately fell asleep.
Isn't it sad that it didn't end like this?
Isn't it sad that this only how it began?
This isn't a fairy tale, after all.
