Truth, Lies and Love

Disclaimer: Same as always, I don't own anything.

Rating: PG-13 for language and sexual references

Note: Carmella, Nidia, Jazz and Gail Kim are all still under contracts in this story, however, Sable is not. Also I'm not including Amy and Joy as divas because they don't have bio pages. Story is short for this chapter, but gets longer as we go by. ALSO the story is in Lita's point of view, in her journal entries. Enjoy!

xxxx

December 13th, 2004

Forgot to write in here after that goddamn meeting yesterday. Anyway, here's how the meeting went – utterly crap. I'm still pissed off about it. You look closely and there's probably steam coming out of my ears.

I walked into the boardroom with Victoria and Stacy, only to find a certain someone sitting in my seat. I grinned. This was gonna be fun. "Excuse me," I said, sounding cool, calm and collected. "I believe this chair says "reserved for Lita" not "reserved for trashcan slut." That blonde bimbo Trish Stratus glared furiously at me. I stared innocently back. Luckily for her, no fights broke out and she, Christian and Christian's bitch Tomko all stormed off in a fury. I took my place in my chair, a smug smirk crossing my face. Which is when Vince decided to start the meeting. He explained the rules, details and everything else that I couldn't be bothered writing down in here (it was the most boring piece of crap I've ever heard – sorry Vince! Actually, wait, no… Triple H's 30-minute promos are! Silly me! How could I forget!) before we started drawing names.

Some real-life couples – Trish and Christian (um, ew!), Torrie and Billy Kidman, Stephanie and the Nose, Jazz and Rodney Mack and Jackie Gayda and Charlie Haas – were safe. However, the rest of us divas were not. We could be paired with some weird psychotic freak for a partner. Ooh, sorry for insulting you, Chris Jericho!

Stacy went up there and ended up with John Cena (which isn't really that bad once you think about it!). Victoria got stuck with Edge, Nidia with Rey Mysterio (like…woah!), Molly Holly and Shelton Benjamin got paired together, Dawn Marie and Eddie Guerrero (ooh, you mamacita Dawnie!), Ivory and.. believe it or not, her old buddy Steven Richards, Christy Hemme and Randy Orton (lucky bitch.. hehe, joking!), Gail Kim and Eric Bischoff were paired, Maria Kanellis got stuck with William Regal (uh.. okay?) and Michelle McCool ended up with RVD, before it was my turn.

I walked up to the jar, suddenly feeling nervous – I mean, what kind of weirdo could I get stuck with? Matt and Kane were both out for injury – and starting to wish I hadn't broken up with Matt Hardy after all. I put my hand in there, pulled a piece of paper out, still folded and handed it to Vince. He looked at it. I watched his expression. His eyebrows went up. WAY up. He cleared his throat loudly.

"Lita… and… Chris.."

'Benoit,' I was praying. 'Chris Benoit.'

"Chris Jericho."

I sucked in a lot of air. The room went dead silent. It was so silent you could hear a pin drop. Then he spoke.

"Guess I'm next on the Walking Kiss of Death's list."

He grinned. Okay. Hold the phone. Since when has Chris Jericho used Trish Stratus' insults against me? I won't allow it! It's just NOT RIGHT!

And then it registered inside my brain.

What the hell? I'm paired with Chris fucking Jericho! Wait. He just insulted you. Kill the bastard.

"Hey, Jericho, don't you have a book to write?" I snapped. "The Little Assclown Who Could?" I spoke, as cool as ice. Malice was dripping from every syllable. Oh, it was sweet, I even heard a few stifled laughs.

"Don't you have more babies to make? Or another monster to marry?" He shot back (the stupidest thing ever too, he knows that was only a storyline, the dumb son of a bitch!), sending an evil look my way.

That's when I snapped.

I lunged at him in his front row seat, intending to tear his stupid face right off his stupid body, claw at his stupid blue eyes, rip off his stupid blonde hair and shove it down his stupid throat, but before I could even lay a finger on Chris Jericho, RVD – Mr Thursday Night himself – wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me away from him. I looked around at everyone, Trish was nearly wetting herself laughing – ooh, I'll get her, payback's a bitch and it goes by the name of Lita, honey – and Christian was basically rolling around on the floor, he was guffawing so hard. That dumb donkey. Vince didn't say a word, but there was a twinkle in his eyes as he said,

"I can see how much fun you two are going to have."

He smirked at me. Pfft. Yeah right, Vince.

When hell freezes over.