The morning sun shone through the small window of our cabin dragging me back to consciousness. Ugh. Does it really have to be that bright? My eyelids were heavy weights begging me not to wake up and face the world. I resisted the temptation and opened one eye in an attempt of grasping onto the reality of my current situation. I wish it was all some cruel nightmare. I wish my island hadn't been destroyed by the wickedness of nature, that Mamá hadn't been taken away from me, that James hadn't left for England, that everything would be okay. Please, God, let it all be some sick and twisted joke. Alas, my pleads are inútil. It's all real.
Peter was sat on his bed scrolling through his phone, a pastime I have never understood. Then again, I don't exactly have a phone, so I can't really judge. I'm going to anyway. He has gotten dressed into a navy hoodie and some jeans which reminded me that I forgot to change last night. It doesn't matter, I have more important things to worry about. His brown hair was tied up in a dishevelled bun, much like my own. He somehow managed to make it look so much better though. God, how I envy you already. I can't even hate him for it either, he's just too kind. I could learn a lot from him.
As if detecting my eyes staring daggers at him, Peter shifted his gaze from his phone to me, giving me a soft smile. Ugh, stop being so nice, your making me feel bad. I returned a sleepy grin in an attempt to not be a complete grumpy arse. I'm not exactly a morning person.
"Hey sleepyhead, you enjoy your beauty sleep?" His smile turned into a cheeky grin.
I nodded, "I s'pose. Et toi?" I grimaced at my poor grasp on language this early in the morning.
"Not too bad. You were out cold. I thought that I'd just let you recharge, even if you still insisted on waking up this early, we won't be in New York till later tonight." He paused before adding, "They have some breakfast if you want some. It's just upstairs. If not, there's coffee too."
Coffee. Now we're talking. Although my body still begged me to remain in the comfortable sheets, I dragged myself up to put some shoes on. I may be a mess, but I still have some ounce of self-respect. I wasn't going to just walk around shoeless even if they were worn in and falling apart.
"Yeah coffee sounds nice. Fantastic even. You want me to grab you something?"
His eyes shifted nervously to his fidgeting hands, "Oh…um – no, non merci. I already ate." He sounded as if he is trying to convince himself more than me.
I nodded cautiously, desperate to escape the tension which now flooded the room. I know he is hiding something, but I don't want to press him about it just yet. I shifted my gaze to the floor to avoid making the decision to say something. My big mouth will be the death of me, I swear. "Okay, if you're sure. I won't be long."
I stepped out into the narrow corridor to be greeted with the aroma of food. It smelled so appealing, but I wasn't hungry in the slightest. If I were to eat, I would probably be sick with my nerves. Instead, I had my heart set on coffee, my lifeline. Probably one of the best things in my life is that energising beverage. I hadn't had a cup of coffee in two days, this moment had been long awaited, and nothing was going to get in my way. Right now, it's just me and that cup of dark goodness.
I reached the stairs and climbed them, following the scent of bacon and toast. There was a table filled with food. I was momentarily distracted by the sight of the breakfast, but then my mind snapped back to the task at hand. Coffee. The coffee machine was just in the corner of the room calling for me. Like a moth to a flame. This was something I simply couldn't say no to.
I made my way to the homing beacon and prepared a to-go cup. I picked up the pot and began to pour. It reminded me of back on Nevis when me and my best friend used to hang out at his cousin's bodega. Sonny used to make great coffee. I'm gonna miss it. Hell, I don't even know if he's okay. I didn't even go looking for him. Selfish prick.
I sudden burst of pain shot through my leg causing me to hiss in agony. Shit, I forgot I was pouring coffee. The cup was over-flowing. Great. I sighed and put the pot back before drinking some of my own to make room for a lid. It tasted like dirt in comparison to Sonny's coffee. He always made it light, sweet and with a hint of cinnamon. Plus, he always gave it to me for free. His cousin used to tease us about it and tried to get us together. Crazy! I hope he's okay though. He was the only friend I really had. How could I have not looked for him? How could I have been so self-centred. His cousin should be okay, last I heard, he was off to D.R. I wish I knew where Sonny was. It pains me to not know of his safety.
I turned to head back to the cabin when I caught a second glimpse of the food. I decided to get a little something for Peter, just in case he changed his mind. Toast will do. Not too much, not too little. I set myself back on course to our room. The door seemed much brighter in the daylight compared to last night, maybe I was too overwhelmed to take any notice. It wouldn't be the first time I ignored detail. I should stop doing that, I'm missing the bigger picture, I can feel it. It's right at the end of my nose, but still out of sight. What is it?
I turned the door handle stirring a flinch out of Peter. I should have knocked. Come on, Alex. Mamá raised you better than this.
"Sorry, I should have knocked." I apologised.
He laughed softly, "Nonsense, it's your room too. I was just lost in my thoughts."
"Hear, hear! You and me both. I love quiet alone time in my head, I am the only person who understands me and I'm my own best friend. But hey, let me tell you – I am one arrogant prick. I feel sorry for people who have to put up with me." We both chuckled at this. For a moment, just a second, we both let go of our troubles and enjoyed each other's company.
Peter is such a cool person. It is literally impossible to hate this guy. I want to, I really do. I don't want to like him, because if I do, he'll leave me. They always do, always. Get out of your head, Alex! Just enjoy it while it lasts.
"Somebody is definitely in a better mood after their coffee. Not a morning person?" He hit the nail on the head there.
"Not in the slightest, mon ami. After some coffee I'm usually more tolerable. I mean, it basically runs through my veins." He smirked at me. "Oh, I almost forgot. I got us some toast." I said, placing the plate on the bedside table between our beds.
"Oh, thanks Alexander. I'm not that hungry but thank you anyway." I nodded and left the plate where it was. I still didn't have an appetite.
We talked some more and then slipped into a comfortable silence. Peter read a book. Northern Lights? It's a good book, I read it at the library on the island. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who used that place. While he read, I picked at my hoodie sleeve and finished my coffee, the toast long forgotten. My mind travelled back to Sonny, the bodega, my childhood. How did I end up like this? I miss the life I had, it was the best. Sure, we were poor, but it didn't matter. We had each other. Now what do I have? It hurt to think about what could have been, to think about how much better my life could have been. But, I can't complain, I'm still alive, which is more than can be said for others. My thoughts began to fade into quiet whispers as sleep took over me once again. I dreamt about my past. It replayed like a movie, I can't wait to see you again Mamá…
"Alexander, wake up." A familiar voice called arousing me from my slumber. Oh – it's Peter.
"Huh?" I mumbled, confused. Physically, I was awake, my mind on the other hand, not so much.
"We're here! I can't believe you slept the day away." What! How could I have slept all day? Jesus! "Welcome to New York, mon petit lion."
"Mon petit lion? Really? Why?" I questioned, half-confused, half-annoyed, "I am five foot six, I'll have you know. When little people fight, we may look like easy pickings, but we've got some bite!"
"I don't know, you just get grumpy when you're tired and you have a tongue like fire. Seriously, you would be great at debate, and it rhymes so it's true."
"I am not!" I sulked.
He laughed and patted me on the back, "you just proved my point. Come on, lets go. Vamos! Allons-y!"
I smiled, and we made our way to the docks, bag in hand, clinging to it as if it would disappear otherwise. The sky was a dark mix of blue and purple, but the stars were somewhere between faint and non-existent, the glare of the city blinding us from their true beauty. Another thing I am going to miss about Nevis. I'll add it to the list. What do we have so far?
1. Sonny.
2. Sonny's coffee.
3. The bodega.
4. The library.
5. Mamá.
6. The stars.
I pondered what else I could add until Peter tapped me lightly on the shoulder, my attention drawn back to him.
"You ready?" He asked.
"I hope so."
"My apartment isn't too far into the city. We can walk." I could do that, probably.
"Cool, what time is it? I still can't believe I slept that long." I responded, still baffled by my actions.
He glanced at the silver watch on his wrist, "It's just after ten."
"Mon Dieu." I muttered. In all fairness, I hadn't slept in three days prior to this, give me a break.
He only laughed at my shock, it was contagious as I joined in with him. We began our walk to Peter's apartment talking mostly about my new school and our interests. The city was more breath-taking than I could have ever imagined, the buildings like Christmas trees, illuminating the streets. I couldn't even begin to imagine what it will be like during the day. Despite the late hour, everywhere was crowded. People. I could sense my nerves kicking into gear already.
My breathing hitched in my throat at the sight. I don't think I had ever seen this many people. The island didn't exactly have a big population. Everybody knew everybody. Now, I'm surrounded by strangers. Lots of strangers. My mouth was dry, and I was gasping for breaths. The panic inside of me desperately trying to surface. No, not here. Please, not here, not now. Deep breaths. 'Inhala, exhala' Mamá's voice echoed through my mind. I attempted to apply her instructions. Come on, you have to get used to people, Alex. Luckily, Peter was ahead of me and hadn't noticed my nerves. Now is not the time for an 'outburst'.
"We're almost there, just around the corner." Peter encouraged me, guiding me to a road lined with apartment buildings.
"Nice. I know it seems impossible, but I'm still tired." I lightly chuckled.
"I think that's a good thing considering the time, you can get back into sync."
He paused at a black door, reaching to his pocket for the keys. I stood next to him, eagerly awaiting to finally relax. The lock clicked, and I followed him to the stairs. Third floor. Not too bad. He opened the door with another set of keys.
"Welcome Alexander, mi casa, tu casa! It's not much but there's space. Your room is just on the left of the corridor. Straight across from the bathroom. You can go ahead and sleep if you want, I think I might."
My…room? I got my own room? That made a change. I swear, this man has been sent from the heavens.
"Thank you so much for this, Peter. You are a saint. I am gonna hit the hay though. I'll see you in the morning. Sleep well."
"No worries. G'night." He said.
I headed towards my…room, I guess? It was actually quite big. What on earth did I do to deserve such luxury and kindness from my cousin? That was the thing, I didn't deserve this. It filled me with guilt, I have to make it up to him. Maybe I could cook him some breakfast in the morning. Tomorrow is a pretty big day, I need to find a job. I can't live off of Peter, it just wouldn't be fair, and I am no charity case, I can earn my own money. The single bed was under the window, a green duvet covering it. God, it looked so comfy. The need to sleep overcame me for the third time and I, remembering to get changed this time, slid into the covers.
