Sheldon stared at the woman who had just fainted in his arms. He knew that there was probably something much more productive he could do than gape at Penny, but in the wake of what he'd discovered, the physicist was frankly surprised that he himself had not passed out. "Absurd," he muttered. "Outrageous. Completely unacceptable." He sighed, reminding himself that examining the situation wouldn't change it. Clearly, the observer effect doesn't apply, he thought derisively. Sheldon shook his head and willed himself to deal with the situation at hand.

The best way to begin, he decided, would be to go over what he knew. He considered the facts of the situation as he understood them. Penny and I awoke together in her hotel room after coitus. She does not seem to remember the act. We are both wearing what appear to be wedding bands, suggesting that we participated in a wedding ceremony in our inebriated state. Sheldon paused to stare once more at the ring wrapped around his finger. It was a traditional wedding ring; a simple gold band. He carefully raised Penny's limp arm to examine her ring. A gold ring, thinner than his own, adorned with a small white stone that flashed colorfully as he moved Penny's hand. Either a diamond or a fairly good imitation. Sheldon gently set Penny's hand down and looked at her face once more.

"My wife," he whispered. The words felt so alien as they rolled off of his tongue. And yet, there was something about referring to Penny that way that made his hands clammy and his throat dry. Swallowing hard, he focused his attention on the most immediately necessary task: waking Penny.

"Penny." He gently nudged her shoulder. "Penny." Another nudge, this one harder than the last. "Penny," he murmured a third time. Her eyes fluttered open. "I'm relieved to see you awake," Sheldon said as calmly as he could.

"Did I pass out?" Penny asked as she pulled herself into a sitting position. Sheldon nodded. "How long was I out?"

"Only a few minutes," Sheldon responded. "I believe the cause was psychological."

"No shit," Penny muttered. She stared at her wedding ring. "What the hell happened last night?"

Sheldon was silent as he contemplated the question. "I'm not sure," he admitted after a moment. "I don't remember getting married." Penny's eyes grew wide, and Sheldon realized that he was the first to actually state out loud what had happened. He cleared his throat noisily. "It seems best if we determine what happened before deciding on a course of action."

Penny nodded numbly. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense." An awkward silence settled over the pair, as neither one was really sure how to progress. However, just as the discomfort in the room was about to reach an all-time high, a knock on the door startled both occupants.

"Penny! Are you up yet? We're gonna head out for day two of the convention in a bit." Sheldon bit back a groan as he recognized Leonard's voice. He turned to Penny, who looked frightened.

"Crap!" she hissed. "What are we gonna tell the guys?"

"I don't know," Sheldon whispered back. "If you want me to prepare a convincing lie, I'll need sufficient time to organize the details."

Penny sighed and rolled her eyes. "Just a moment!" she shouted, rolling out of bed. She slipped into the bathroom and emerged a few seconds later, wrapped in a complimentary bathrobe. Tying the sash around her waist, she hurried to the door and cracked it open, poking her head out. "Sorry, I just got up," she breathed.

"Do you wanna come with us to check out day two of the convention?" Leonard asked. "We'll wait if you want to get ready." Sheldon slid out of bed and grabbed his discarded pants from the floor, listening to the exchange with bated breath. He hated the idea of wearing the same clothing two days in a row, but since this wasn't his room and he certainly wouldn't fit into any of Penny's clothes, there wasn't another option.

"I, uh..." Penny faltered. "I'll catch up with you guys later. I think I partied a little too hard last night, y'know?"

Sheldon snorted as he pulled the jeans on, then clapped a hand over his face. "What was that?" Leonard's voice asked.

"N-nothing!" Penny answered a little too quickly. "I didn't hear anything. What did you hear?" Sheldon pinched the bridge of his nose. Penny was painfully bad at improvisation. How did she ever expect to become an actress with performances like this?

"Uh, never mind..." Sheldon held back a sigh of relief as Leonard dropped the subject. He grabbed his Flash t-shirt from under the bed and stood. The long-sleeved shirt he'd worn under it wasn't anywhere to be seen. "Hey, have you seen Sheldon anywhere? He didn't answer when I knocked on his door. I don't think he's in his room." Sheldon froze, his relief vanishing as quickly as it had come.

Fortunately, Penny seemed to have recovered, for she didn't miss a beat. "I haven't seen him since last night," she lied smoothly. "Don't know what to tell you."

There was a pause, then Leonard sighed. "I hope he didn't get into any trouble. You guys were both drinking pretty hard last night. You seem to be okay, but I don't even want to think about what Sheldon could have gotten himself into. You know how he is when he's drunk."

Sheldon's knuckles whitened and his grip tightened on the shirt in his hand as he stared at the door. Penny let out a brief laugh. "Oh, I'm sure he's just fine," she replied, glancing back at the anxious theoretical physicist with mild amusement. "Who knows, maybe he even got lucky."

Sheldon ground his teeth together as he pulled the shirt over his head. When Leonard left, he was definitely going to have to have a talk with Penny about the purpose of lying. As he pulled his head through the collar, he heard Leonard laugh. "Come on, Penny. This is Sheldon we're talking about. The day he has sex is the day I'll eat a gallon of ice cream." Sheldon glowered at the door, making a mental note of his friend's statement. Penny snickered and muttered something about grabbing a spoon. "You say something?" Leonard asked.

"Nothing at all!" Penny responded cheerily. "See ya!" With that, she shut the door in her neighbor's face and turned to Sheldon, who was now pulling his socks on. Laughing, she plopped down on the floor beside him, earning a strange look from the tall scientist. "You know," she began, grinning impishly, "it'd almost be worth it to tell him, just for that."

Sheldon inexplicably found himself smiling, having forgotten his intent to chastise the quality of her lie. Instead, he replied with bemusement, "Yes, almost."