Chapter Two
So, Bruce had taken it upon himself to be my host. I wouldn't be so opposed if he didn't constantly look at me with bedroom eyes. I mean, he's attractive and everything, but he's not only a bit old for me, but I'm one of those old-fashioned girls. Old-fashioned as in I don't want to ever lose my virginity. Anyway, I was hoping to get out of the mansion (yes, mansion. Wayne manor was rebuilt, so Bruce had moved back in) by going "shopping" and then more or less running away, but that wasn't going to happen. Bruce handed me a credit card and had Alfred escort me to the mall. Now, I'll admit that it was amazing to go shopping with absolutely no price limit, but the looks that the cashiers gave me when they saw the name on the card were pretty scary.
When I returned to the mansion, Bruce had apparently gone to a meeting at Wayne Enterprises. Alfred showed me to a room across the hall from Bruce's. I unpacked my new purchases into the walk-in closet, and went downstairs. I wandered my way into the kitchen, where I saw a really weird thing…Alfred was cuddling and playing with Gordo. I mean, take a parent and their baby, make the baby a forty pound cat, and you've got what was going on in front of me.
"Should I come back later?" I asked. Alfred looked up, startled. He stood, cleared his throat and straightened his clothes, regaining his British reserve. I couldn't help but smirk.
"Is there something you need?" he asked.
"Not really. I just sorta got bored and thought I'd explore the house. This is a pretty snazzy kitchen," I said, admiring the marble counters, marble floor, stainless steel appliances, and dark wood cabinets.
"Yes, quite."
"I bet you could bake about thousands of snicker doodles in one day."
"Snicker doodles?" he gave me a quizzical look.
"Yeah. They're really good cookies. Do you think I could maybe bake some? I've been told I make really good snicker doodles."
"Well, I have no problem with that. And Bruce does love cookies," Alfred said. Maybe it was just me, but I caught a hint of innuendo.
After showing me where everything was, Alfred left me to bake my snicker doodles. I went to town. When Bruce walked in the front door, the smell of freshly baked snicker doodles had permeated the air of the entire main level.
"Whoa, Alfred, what smells so good?" Bruce asked, entering the kitchen. I stood up, turning to face him. I saw the shocked look on his face. Okay, so maybe I went a little overboard on the baking. But so what if every single surface of the kitchen was covered in plates of snicker doodles? I had just pulled another (the last) batch out of the oven, and was looking for a place to put them.
"I baked," I stated.
"I can see that," Bruce said. "What did you-"
"Can you hold this for a second?" I interrupted him, handing him the sheet of cookies. I dumped a few plates of cookies into a Tupperware container, making room on the large island. I took the sheet from Bruce and placed it in the clear spot.
"What are you going to do with all of these?" Bruce asked.
"I don't know. I started baking, and I guess I got a little carried away," I said, gazing at my handiwork.
"A little?" he looked at me. I shrugged and gave him a shy smile.
"Maybe you can take them to the office for your employees?" I suggested.
"Maybe," he said, smiling slightly. He looked down at me for a moment, and I gazed up at his six foot five self. Then Alfred walked in.
"Dinner is served."
"Where?" I asked.
"The dining room," he replied.
"Oh. Right." I was definitely not brought up in high society. I followed Alfred and Bruce out of the kitchen and into the dining room, where a very fancy meal sat waiting for us. Bruce pulled my chair out for me, then sat down at the head of the table.
"So," he began, "how do you know I'm Batman?"
"Oh." I had forgotten that I'd spilled that little bean earlier. "Well, like I told you, I'm from a different dimension… In my world, you're a comic book character."
"A comic book character?" he stared at me in disbelief.
"Yeah. But you're also the cause for a multi-million- or is it billion? - well, the movies they made about you made a ton of money."
"Hm…" Bruce contemplated the new information.
I took my first bite of dinner. And it was better than sex! Well, okay, I didn't know that for sure, but a girl can speculate! It was some sort of roast, with roasted potatoes, asparagus, and what I thought was a plum sauce. There was also wine, but I wasn't going to touch that since I was underage.
"So, you never did tell me your name," Bruce said as I finished chewing my first bite.
"Oh. It's Kelly. Kelly Swanson."
"Kelly. That's a nice name."
"Really? I don't really like it. It sounds kinda cheerleader-ish, and it's so common. I mean, personally I'd like a unique name, you know? Something like Kennedy or Mikenzi."
"Personally, I've always wanted to be named Christian," Bruce said. I started laughing.
"In my world, the guy who plays you in the movies is named Christian Bale."
"Well that's odd." Bruce resumed eating. When he had finished chewing, he noticed that I hadn't had anything to drink.
"Are you not thirsty?" he asked.
"Oh, no, I am, I'm just too young to drink. I'm only eighteen."
"Well I won't tell if you don't," he winked at me.
"Um, that would be contributing to the delinquency of a minor, which is a crime. Doesn't Batman have higher morals?" I asked, eyebrows raised.
"Batman does. Bruce Wayne doesn't," he gave me a smirk that blew right off of the sexy-scale.
"Well, I don't really feel like getting drunk so you can ravish my virgin body," I said to him, smiling slightly.
"Virgin?" Bruce cocked an eyebrow. I answered by taking a bite of potatoes.
"These are really good. I totally need to get the recipe from Alfred," I said in an attempt to change the subject.
"You bake and cook? You're just a woman of many talents."
"I don't cook. I try to, but it doesn't usually turn out well. I mean, you thought the explosion from Qui Gon Jinn was bad? Wait 'til you see me make French fries," I said.
"Qui Gon Jinn?"
"In my world, the guy who played your mentor also played a Jedi in a Star Wars movie," I explained. "To be honest, you're taking this whole 'alternate reality' thing pretty well. I mean, I thought I was gonna rock your world with my little explanation."
"I'd like to rock your world," Bruce said, giving me bedroom eyes. I almost fell for it. Almost. I think he noticed, too, because he got a slight frown after I shook off the trance-like state he'd put me in.
"So is seducing people your superpower or something?" I asked.
"A superpower is something you hide from the world. I'm pretty open about seduction."
"Huh." I took another bite of my dinner. It was so good, but there was so much food. I nearly finished it, but, for the life of me, I just couldn't eat the last potato. Bruce cleared his plate, and even got seconds of the roast and potatoes. Needless to say, I was impressed. He had managed to keep a teenage boy's appetite well into his twenties. Or was he in his thirties?
After dinner, Alfred brought out desert. German chocolate cake. God, if I had one weakness, it would be chocolate. Or carbs. Probably both. Anyway, I managed to eat a little bit of my piece of cake. Bruce poured me some champagne.
"Do you only have alcohol beverages in this place?" I asked.
"If I say yes will you drink some wine?"
"Maybe. My past encounters with alcohol haven't been pleasant."
"Well I assure you this champagne is delicious," he handed the glass to me. I sniffed it (don't ask me why), then took a small sip. It really was good! I drank some more. And some more. And even more. Bruce ended up refilling my glass five times. Or maybe eight? Well, whatever number it was, I obviously lost count. I think it was safe to say I was drunk. I vaguely remember the following events. I know he helped me upstairs, and into a room. Which room it was, I'm not sure, but I think it was mine. It was darker than his room, for sure. I was stumbling around like a stereotypical drunk. I ended up pulling him onto my bed, giggling incessantly.
"You're pretty," I told him, hugging his waist.
"Thanks," he said. I was too plastered at that moment to realize it, but he was struggling with his shoulder angels. In my mind, the battle probably went something like this:
Devil: Hell yeah! Let's get it on!
Angel: NO! That's so morally wrong! How can you even consider taking advantage of a drunk girl?
Devil: What? She's legal. She chose to drink,-
Angel: But she's underage, and she only had the opportunity because Bruce provided it!
Bruce: Hey, don't drag me into this!
Devil: Screw morals, and screw her. Seriously! You're a playboy, Bruce. This is what you do!
Angel: Don't listen to him! You're also Batman! You have a higher moral code that you must follow!
Devil: It's not like he's wearing a cape and cowl right now.
Angel: No, but she knows he's Batman, so around her at the very least he has to hold to Batman's standards.
Devil: Oh come on! She wants it. I can tell. So let's just get naked already!
Angel: You need to get a life!
Devil: No, I need to get laid!
Angel: Well then leave Bruce alone. He doesn't need to be caught in your high school horn dog phase!
Devil: Well if that's how you feel-
Bruce: Let's not get too hasty here.
Angel: Bruce!
Bruce: What? I'm just saying. She's legal age, she's pretty,-
Devil: And she's wasted! Now get in there and get it on!
Angel: Must you use such vulgar language?
Devil: Yes, I must. Now Bruce, what's it gonna be?
I imagine that he struggled with his decision for a long time. I mean, would he really take advantage of a drunk 18-year-old?
