32 Productions Presents…
A HIVE Team Humor StoryThe HIVE Team In…
"The Philo-whosit Stone"
Chapter One
Titan H.Q.: Changeling's Room
Terra purred as she nuzzled against Changeling. They were lying together in bed.
Terra: Now THAT was fun.
The dazed look on Changeling's face told her that he agreed. The experiment had worked wonders. She brushed her blonde hair from her face. By fusing the now deceased Gemini's cells with her stone body, Terra was able to shape shift once. She instantly turned herself back to her former fleshy self…well, ALMOST. She did make a few slight…adjustments. She shivered.
Terra: Great…did someone turn the air on or something?
Snapping out of his daze, Changeling blinked.
Changeling: Huh? What are you talking about?
Terra: It's freezing in here!
It most certainly was not. Changeling felt fine. The temperature was rather comfortable. Terra huddled against him, shaking.
Terra: Jeez, what the hell? It's like an ice box…
Changeling: Terra, it's not cold in here at all. If it was that cold, wouldn't you see your breath or something?
Terra blinked. He was right. So what the hell was going…
Terra: Aaah!
Changeling: Terra! What's wrong?
Her whole body hurt! Then she felt it. Her skin stiffening.
Terra: No, no, no…
She tried to will her body to stop, but it was no good. Rapidly her skin returned to its stone state. Her blue eyes went back to glowing yellow constantly. But there was one thing that was different. One horrible, terrible thing. She could feel. It was funny. That was the one thing she wanted more then anything before…but she didn't think of one thing. A stone body doesn't have a heat source. So, in short, she was freezing cold! Her teeth clenched…then chattered.
Terra: I'm going to kill him!
:CUE THEME:
HIVE Tower: Red X's Room
Red X massaged her temples. Krystal was still clinging to her legs.
Krystal: Please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please…
Red X: No! Krystal, we don't need a pet!
Yes, Krystal wanted a pet. How did she put it? Oh yes. "The tower is tragically and painfully devoid of petitude." Pets…feh. What a tragic thing to do to an animal. To cage it and keep it from being it's true self. Do you think a dog would be eating kibbles and bits in the wild? Hell no! Do you think a bob cat seeks out scratching posts? No! So why would they need a pet? Huffing, Krystal let go, sitting on the floor like a stubborn child.
Krystal: Jinx would have said yes…
Red X: Well Jinx isn't the leader anymore, is she?
Snorting, Krystal stood up.
Krystal: Listen to you, all high and mighty. Don't forget this is a temp job for you, 'kay?
Red X: …I'm aware of that. The point is, I'm still in charge. Once Jinx takes the reigns back from me, then you can ask HER. Until then, no pet.
Pouting, Krystal kicked the floor like she always did when disappointed.
Krystal: We'll see about that. I have plans. Oh what plans I have. The most planniest plans of all plandom.
Red X: Listen to me. There is no way I'll let any animal on this planet…or from any other…become our pet, do you got me?
Krystal sighed, nodding. Pleased to have gotten her point across, Red X gestured to the door.
Red X: Now, if you would be so kind as to get out while I'm trying think?
Krystal left the room, shaking her head. No animal on this or any other planet, huh? Hmm…there had to be a loop hole in there somewhere. Maybe Blackfire could help. She went off in search of the Tamaranian.
Titan H.Q.: Garage Workshop
The other Titans grabbed Terra, trying desperately to stop her from throttling Cyborg to death. She punched his metal mask hard enough to dent it.
Terra: You lied to me! You said you'd cure me and you lied! You made it worse! Bastard! I'll kill you! I'LL KILL YOU!
Finally Robin managed to spray her in the face with gas. She groaned softly before pitching forward. Cyborg threw her off, rubbing his throat.
Cyborg: What the hell is her problem?!
Changeling: Gee, dude, maybe it's because you said you cured her and she's stone again?
Cyborg: How is that MY fault? I told her it might not work!
Raven: Terra was never the picture of emotional stability. You should have seen this coming.
Grumbling, Cyborg took his mask off and looked at it.
Cyborg: Man, now I got to make a new mask…
Robin: Try spares. I have dozens of these little things.
He tapped the side of his mask.
Starfire: So…what is it that went wrong?
Cyborg: Off hand, I'd say it's because we used a corpse instead of a living being. That girl's cells were already dying rapidly when we fused them. It was just a matter of time before they gave out on her.
Changeling: And you didn't say that before?! Dude, she was overjoyed to be human again and you basically just teased her with it!
Raven: What was she going on about? How is it worse?
Changeling: She said she was cold. Freezing cold. I guess her sense of touch is back.
Robin: And now she's wishing it wasn't. Great. Anyone have an idea on what to do with her?
Raven: I think…
Starfire: YOUR suggestions are unwanted, Raven.
Gritting her teeth, Raven turned on her heels.
Raven: Hmph. Then do with her as you wish. I don't care. Come, Shade.
Obediently, Shade followed her out of the room.
Starfire: Now then…I suggest we feed her a sedative to keep her calm, then work on this temperature issue once we are certain she will not attempt to murder Cyborg again.
The others agreed. Raven, who had pressed her ear to the door after leaving, clenched her fists. That was basically what SHE was going to say! But rather then use a sedative, which may not work, she was going to use her powers, which sure as hell would work! Turning, Raven started for her room.
Raven: Shade, I think the time has come to make preparations.
Shade grunted. It sounded like a question.
Raven: In due time, I'll explain. For now, do as I say.
Nodding, Shade eagerly followed her. Raven made a silent vow. She would regain her standing in the Titans…or take the team over herself. She had no desire to be leader…but she wasn't going to be on the lower rung of the ladder either. Not in this life time, anyway. Given the choice, she'd rather be leader.
HIVE Tower: Training Room
Blackfire frowned, deep in thought. Next to her was Krystal, bouncing up and down with eagerness. Blackfire had agreed to help. She always wanted another pet. She had one once…back when she was a little sickly kid. It was a snark named Ryand'r. It was her mother's idea. Apparently she was going to name her son that, but he was still-born, tragically. A snark is a small, affectionate reptilian creature (I'm making this up, so if there is a snark in the comics, I have no idea what it looks like). Unlike the lizards of Earth, snarks were very loving creatures. Ryan'dr was mostly green with blue spots on his scales. Starfire had lied to her parents and claimed that it was due to Blackfire neglecting him that the snark had died. In reality, Starfire had poisoned it. However, her parents believed the lie and never got her a replacement. Hearing the click behind her, Blackfire tossed several blackbolts, destroying the targets easily.
Blackfire: So…no animal from this planet or any other…
Krystal: That's what she said.
Blackfire: Hmm…we could ask Gizmo to build us a robotic pet. That's not animal.
Krystal: A cold metal robot pet? I can't snuggle with that! It's cold! And metal!
Sighing, Blackfire nodded. She had to agree, that didn't sound very cute. Destroying the next set of targets, Blackfire floated up, folding her legs and thinking hard.
Blackfire: Hmm…the only thing I can think of is to get an animal that's from another reality or something. It's not from THIS planet, nor is it from any other.
Krystal: How are we going to do that?
Blackfire: No idea.
Krystal frowned. There had to be an answer in this somewhere. Hmm…
Krystal: I got it!
Blackfire: What?
Krystal: We'll use Jinx's stuff! That girl's bound to have all sorts of magicy things in her room we can use!
Blackfire: Krystal, the last time you tried that, you caused socks everywhere to revolt.
Sighing, Krystal shook her head.
Krystal: It was a good idea, I tell you! Think of it! Socks that don't get lost because they can return to your room on their own! It was brilliant! All I wanted to do was give life to my socks. Was that so wrong?
Blackfire: Wrong, no. Bizarre, yes. …but since I know better then to argue, I'll go along with it. At least if I'm there I can make sure you don't do something TOO bad…like blow up the planet.
Krystal: You're the greatest, Blackie!
What was meant to be a peck on the lips lasted a bit longer as Blackfire put her hand on the back of Krystal's head. Not surprisingly, Krystal didn't struggle.
Krystal: What was that for?
Blackfire: Being you.
Krystal: Easiest kiss I've ever earned then.
Laughing, Blackfire shook her head.
Blackfire: Alright…now we need to figure out how we're going to get in Jinx's room without risking getting caught.
Krystal: Hmm…we could make out…
Blackfire: How will that get Jinx out of her room?
Krystal: Oh…YOU know.
Silence.
Krystal: Okay, so it won't help. Is it really that bad of an idea?
Blackfire: Hmm…no. No it isn't. Okay, we make out. And if that doesn't work, then what?
Krystal: Ah, a plan B. Good idea. You think ahead, I like that.
More silence.
Blackfire: You know what?
Krystal: What?
Blackfire: I think this can wait until after plan A.
Krystal: Alrighty then. Your room or mine?
Blackfire: Yours. It's closer.
…what? It's been a long time. Besides, as weird as Krystal was, for whatever reason, Blackfire really loved her. …and furthermore, I'm stalling because I can't think of a good way to keep Jinx out of her room.
Titan H.Q.: Terra's Room
Terra stared at the ceiling, her heart heavy. How could fate tease her like that? To give her a taste of her old life back, only to take it away again…it was twisted beyond words. She was now forced to carry a huge sun lamp around, rolling it on wheels. It was the only way to heat her stone body. She could retain the heat for maybe…an hour and a half afterward. Two hours if she's been under it a while. It was connected to a large battery at the base of it. Maybe it was because she was no longer freezing…or maybe the large sedative they gave her had something to do with it, but she was no longer filled with the urge to kill Cyborg. No, the only thing on her mind was becoming human again. Suddenly she got an idea. Springing from her bed, she left the room, pulling the STUPID lamp behind her. She knocked on Raven's door.
Raven: What is it?
Terra: Raven, open up, it's me.
The door slid open and Raven regarded her with cold eyes.
Raven: I haven't touched him today.
Terra: What? No! That's not why I'm here! I want to talk to you about a cure for me.
Raven: …alright, come in.
Terra blinked in surprise. She hadn't expected it to be so easy. She entered and Raven whistled sharply. Shade looked up from the bed.
Raven: Shadow chair.
Shade yawned, his tongue curling before obeying Raven and creating a chair. Raven gestured toward it.
Raven: Sit.
As Terra sat down, Raven floated up, crossing her legs. She rested her elbow on her leg, then her chin on her palm.
Raven: Now…we've been through this. I've got nothing that can help.
Terra: Yeah, I know…but what about this…um…stone thing?
Raven: You'll have to be more specific.
Sighing, Terra struggled to remember the word before "stone". It was a hard word…a school type word.
Terra: Begins with an "f" or a "ph"? Philanthropy's stone?
Raven: The Philosopher Stone?
Terra: Yeah! That! That thing changes stuff, right? Converts from one thing to another? Like that Shimmer girl, but it doesn't go away after a few minutes.
Sighing, Raven shook her head.
Raven: Terra, that stone doesn't exist in this world.
Reaching out, Raven brought a tome to her hand and flipped it open.
Raven: According to alchemistic text, the Philosopher Stone was deemed too dangerous. Many people attempted to resurrect loved ones with it, resulting in soulless creatures walking about, looking human but inside, they are devoid of emotion or even rational thought. They are driven solely by instinct, killing, eating, raping…that sort of thing. Others tried to create chimeras, which are hybrid creatures. Multi-headed animals with serpent tails and wings, for example…
Terra: Enough with the history lesson! Where is it now?
Raven: Right, right…sorry. I got caught up in it. Anyway, the stone is trapped in another world.
Terra: What? Another planet?
Raven shook her head, closing the book.
Raven: No, another world. I can't say what kind, but it's more of an alternate dimension then anything else. For all I know, humans could have been replaced with intelligent apes in that world.
All that meant to Terra was a load of nothing. She leaned forward.
Terra: Can you…WAAH!
Terra fell, landing on her butt. The chair was gone. Sighing, Raven floated over and smacked Shade on the head.
Raven: Can't you stay awake for five minutes?!
Shade whimpered an apology.
Raven: Sorry about
that. You were saying?
Terra: Can you get me to this world?
Raven: Well…I suppose I could try. …but it will be dangerous. I'll go with you.
Shade sat up. Patting his head, Raven shook her own.
Raven: No, no. You have to stay here. …I'll be fine. Don't worry. And I'll get us back. Trust me. Okay?
With a depressed sigh, Shade nodded.
Terra: …why are you helping me?
Raven: Terra, we're friends. What's a little harmless teasing between friends, hmm? Garfield would never turn his back on you. His love for you borders on obsession, unlike Shade here. He's crossed that line, I just don't mind it. I know this. I'm empathic. I've always known. I have no chance in Hell with Changeling and that's why I tease.
It was an out and out lie, of course. Changeling was tempted by Raven, who wouldn't be? It amused Raven that he resisted for so long. Ever since she regained the human appearance she had lost when she accepted her father's power, she had taken to seduction rather well. The fact was, if Changeling ever did cave, Raven would actually be disappointed. Terra's expression was that of doubt, but she shook her head.
Terra: Whatever you say.
Raven: I'm glad you think that. We're not to tell the others about this.
Terra: Why the hell not?
Raven: Because they'll stop us!
Raven landed and began pacing her room, her voice tinged with paranoia.
Raven: It's all Starfire's fault. She's turning Robin against me. My plans were good. It was HIS execution that was flawed! Starfire used Robin's pride to force him to believe it was the other way around. Or perhaps he's just that much of an egotistical asshole. Either way, they've shut me out. I'm nothing more then a grunt in his eyes now. My input doesn't matter. They'll stop us. You know I'm right.
Terra bit her stone lip. Raven was more agitated then she had ever seen her. Still, she had a point.
Terra: Okay, okay. I won't tell anyone.
Raven: You can tell Changeling. That's all. I'll prepare the spell. Come back in one hour.
Terra: Okay. Be ready or I'll be pissed.
Raven: Hurry up and go. That lamp is making it unbearably hot in here.
Sighing, Terra left the room. Raven picked another tome from her shelf, trying to learn what she'd need for the spell to work.
END PART ONE
