"I just can't deal with it anymore," I downed my cup of sake and lay across the counter. "Everyday they just want my cock. That's all they ever care about. Nobody gives a damn about me."

My friend Rinnosuke smiled. He refilled my cup with more booze and handed it to me.

"And that's the least of my worries. How many did that add up to now, from the fox's report? Fifty-six? Seven? I've numbered Yukari Yakumo's days, but ended up continuing what she started. How can I ever face my brethren when I return? How can I return?"

"Didn't you say it's not so bad here?"

"Yes, it's not." I drank the sake. "At least, that's what I had thought, after conquering this place. You know that saying, you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain? That's exactly what I'm doing right now, and it's driving me crazy." I let out a long sigh. If only I could release my problems with my cock like that.

Rinnosuke stroked my head on the counter and sipped his own cup. "There, there. No one can blame you for that."

The feeling of his soft, yet firm hands seemed to brush my demons away. Tears welled up in my eyes, and I bawled like a baby. Rinnosuke was the only one who understood me. He was the only one who opened up to me without my cock's intervention. He closes his shop extra early every time I come to vent, knowing it would hurt his business. I don't deserve a friend like him.

"Your actions are admirable, you know?" He said as I sobbed on his lap.

"R-Really?"

"You took up the responsibility of looking after Gensokyo. Not a lot of people would do that. They would just walk away. You didn't. I wish there were more people like you out there. The world would be a better place."

"R-Rinnosuke...!" I felt my cheeks redden, my heart's pace quickened. In place of his usual beautiful face I saw the glowing smile of an angel. "I...I'm glad I've met you! I could not thank my forefathers enough our fated meeting!"

"Oh, don't be so melodramatic. You are troubled, distant and lonely. I just happened to be around for you."

"Uuoohhhh!" Torrents of manly tears came flooding out. I grasped my arms around him, and he returned a warm embrace. "Rinnosuke!"


A few hours later, I was having some wonderful dinner with my friend.

"Hey, Richard," Rinnosuke said, taking a small, elegant bite of a pickled vegetable. "There's something I've been curious about. Are you able to have children?"

"Hm?" I shoved in as much of his delicious cooking as I can. "Why yes, I could. What is your concern?"

"It's just that I've seen you...let loose inside of those girls many times, and not one of them ended up pregnant. What's your secret?"

"Ah, there is no secret." I leaned back on the chair and crossed my arms. "I merely ordered my sperm to stay put and withhold from infiltrating the egg. They were to be on standby and patrol around the vagina. Third party sperms would be eliminated by them as to prevent unnecessary pregnancies."

"I see. That is incredible."

"I could make them besiege the walls anytime I want."

"Hm." He furrowed his eyebrows. "So your sperm just...stay there? They don't die off like the others?"

"No, they're stronger than that. Heck, they're so strong, their presence in the vagina disturbs the flow of the body's energy. Give an ample amount of time and they could pretty much redirect the energy to themselves."

"Really? What happens then?"

"Then? Then..."

"Then what?"

I put down my chopsticks. "What happens then? I...I never really checked up on them, have I? How long has it been since I came here, anyway?"

"Richard?"

I cupped a hand around my chin, frowning. "Huh. I've completely forgotten about them. Are they still swimming in there? Is there a limit as to how much they could take? What they could take?"

My cock hardened, as if providing a solid answer to my questions.

"Ah, yes." I got up from the table. "I know what to do now. If my theory is correct, then it's possible to..."

"Are you leaving already, Richard?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah. Thanks for the food, Rinnosuke. It was delicious." With a casual wave I left Kourindou, then sprinted to my mansion at maximum combat speed. Thanks to my dear friend, I had a plan. A plan to finally set me free from this eternal cage. Just you wait, Yukari Yakumo. I'll be the one to have the last laugh.