Previously: "I'm not in love with Bella. I just think she's a cool girl." I responded to him mentally. And really hot, I added to myself. "And Jacob is not my hero." I corrected. My dad was.

Seth- Ch2

I felt the telltale shimmer of someone phasing in and heard Sam's voice in my head. "Head back home, Seth. It's time for you to get dressed for…. Well, you know." He trailed off and then was gone again. Sam really wasn't my favorite person, but I'd learned that I'm actually really good at keeping my thoughts to myself. I resented that Sam, the person who crushed my sister, was our tribal leader and the person responsible for making arrangements for my dad's funeral. I resented that his own father was such an irresponsible dick that

Sam had no concept of how much Leah and I had lost this week. Sure, he was trying, but he couldn't begin to imagine losing a father when he'd never had one himself. His dad didn't teach him to turn a plain piece of leather into a work of art. His dad didn't hold the back of his bicycle until he could ride on his own. His dad didn't teach him how to surf in the icy pacific in the early mornings on a hand-made long board with tribal emblems carved into the top.

I had reached the woods behind my house and phased human, pulling on my cut-off jeans and walked slowly toward the house to put on something decent. I wasn't looking forward to this bit of ceremony. In my own way I had come to peace with the fact that my father had passed into the spirit world. I'm no yogi, but I believe we all go when it is our time and my dad had instilled in me that death was nothing to fear, but a part of the cycle of life and birth. I missed him, but the funeral was a social convention that wasn't for me. I didn't know how I should react to mourners whose loss was so less than mine and their show of tears so much greater. I just hoped to stand with my mom and Leah and endure it with a strength and peace that would make my dad proud. I dressed and headed to my designated spot behind my mother where I tried to tune out what was going on around me.

I briefly registered that nearly the whole tribe had shown up as well as the pack. Charlie Swan sat with Billy Black and the two had fierce but grave expressions. They were determined to hold it together. I thought back to the last gathering I'd been at with the both of those men. It was an impromptu spaghetti dinner at the Black's tiny house and the first night I'd met Bella Swan. I'd eagerly pulled a chair up near her and Jacob and he'd introduced us. Her smile had been kind and shy and I felt a tingle when I took her small hand in my own and shook it. I recalled her soft voice as she asked if I was interested in cars like Jacob and the other boys. I figured she probably meant Embry and Quil. "Nah." Jacob answered for me. "Seth here is our local surfer boy. Hang ten and all that crap." He said with a smile. Bella smiled too. It lit up her entire face. "If I weren't such a mess standing on my own two feet I think I'd enjoy surfing. I always felt a little more graceful in the water than on land." She added almost to herself.

"I could teach you." I piped up, over-eager to talk to anyone who might possibly share my interest, particularly if that person was a pretty girl.

Jacob had laughed at that, honestly belly-laughed. Bella's face was twisted somewhere between annoyance and good-natured humor as he enjoyed the joke at her expense. "Come on Bells! You have to admit that for someone who can barely walk across a flat surface without ending up in the hospital, surfing would be a death wish. If you ever managed to get up on the board in the first place you'd probably impale yourself on it when you fell off a half second later. That is, if you didn't drown while paddling out!" He laughed again and she joined in, but her smile was an embarrassed, self-depreciating one that hinted at having her feelings hurt.

"Everyone falls when they surf, Bella. Only the determined get up and keep trying until they get it. Then they never look back. There's not a better feeling in the world." I told her honestly.

"Jake's probably right." She said softly. "I'm better off swimming laps at the Y."

My mind was jerked back to the present as Leah's hold on my hand tightened uncomfortably. I knew that this part of the funeral ceremony was coming to an end. We would head back to our house where we would be inundated with well-wishers and people telling us they were sorry, and how great my dad was- as if we didn't know that already.

I managed to make it home in auto-pilot zombie mode and nod my head at the appropriate times, never really looking or meeting anyone's eye. I felt and barely registered the differences in body temperature as pack and non-pack brushed by me or placed a hand on my shoulder. By now what I really needed was my bed or some other place where I could be alone and not pretend or be polite or be strong. I just wanted to be. Surfing sounded good to me and would probably calm my mind, but would probably be considered irreverent by the tribal elders given the situation. I would have to endure.

Across the room I had seen Jacob looking at me over the top of Bella's head and then looking back down at her face. He glanced between us warily as if they were in some sort of discussion. I let my eyes scan the room once more without really seeing, hoping for an easy escape. And then I felt a small pressure on my hand and was being led through the crowd. Again, on autopilot I felt like I was following a ghost as we slid between bodies, through doors. I was unseeing.

Once we cleared the porch and began to head toward the woods between my house and the Black's place it dawned on me that I had no idea who was leading me and where we were going. The back of the small figure silhouetted in the twilight ahead of me could only belong to Bella. I was beginning to worry. I was newly turned werewolf and going through something fairly traumatic. Being alone with Jacob's almost girlfriend was probably something I was not allowed to do. And I had to wonder what the heck she was thinking. Then again, her safety never seemed to be one of her top concerns.

Bella led me just inside the tree line to a place I had not thought of in years I realized, as she began to climb a rope ladder. Once I reached the top behind her, I found Bella pacing the floor staring at her shoes. She twisted her fingers and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth.

Finally she steeled herself and began talking, still afraid to meet my eyes. She took a deep breath and began to talk in a low, small voice.

"When Jacob's mom died I was almost eight and he was six. The night of the funeral he ran away and everyone went crazy looking for him. I found him up here in the tree house and brought him stacks of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. We stayed up here all night and I finally convinced Jacob that he had to come home that next morning because Billy was scared something bad had happened." She smiled a little to herself as she remembered. "That was really when I knew Jake was my best friend," she said. "He only would have come down for me, Billy said."

I waited for her to make her point. "I brought you here because I wanted to apologize without the pack worrying that you would phase and hurt me. I wanted to be able to speak my mind without them cutting me off and saying it isn't my fault." Her voice grew stronger with her conviction and her words began to spill over. Verbal vomit.

"I'm so sorry Seth. I'm sorry that this has happened to you because of me. I'm sorry that I got involved with vampires and brought Victoria here so close to your tribe and home." I heard the faint sound of Bella's tears hitting the floor of the tree house as she continued talking. I could only imagine what it cost Bella to say this to me. As far as I knew she still couldn't think of the Cullens without breaking down.

"I'm sorry that my being here has made you go wolf and grow up so fast. It's my fault that Victoria was here and you and Leah phased. It's my fault that your dad died and I wanted you to know that I will do anything I can to help you even though nothing I could ever do would be enough." Bella gulped a lungful of air now that her speech was done and I felt my heart break for her. I couldn't doubt her sincerity or the fact that she truly believed that she was the one responsible for this fucked-up domino effect. But what the hell do you say to that. I couldn't convince her that it wasn't her fault without minimizing her feelings and sounding like I was giving her the brush-off. Then again, it was wrong to let Bella shoulder the blame for the freakish supernatural abilities of me and the pack. So I did what I did best. I made peace and compromised between the two extremes.

"Bella," I said. Her eyes were glued to the floor. "The Cullens were here for years before you moved here. Sam phased before you moved here. There was a chain of events set in motion that had nothing at all to do with you and everything to do with those bloodsuckers." My voice was earnest. I was pleading with her to believe me.

"No one blames you." I said. Bella chuckled darkly at that, scrubbing at her eyes with the back of her hand. "Okay, well maybe Leah, but only because she's trying not to blame herself. Bella, please believe me when I tell you that this is not your fault. Thank you for bringing me here- for helping me to escape that house. It's the best help you could have given me, and really what I could use right now is a friend, or rather a friend that isn't already in my head all the time." I laughed but it tasted somewhat bitter.

"Bella, do you believe me?" I asked. "I would never tell you anything but the truth." I meant that. I would never lie to this girl who willingly met with a dangerous animal like myself and was feeling so much guilt and responsibility that wasn't even hers to bear.

"Bella, look at me." I commanded softly.

She slowly lifted her head in the now mostly dark tree house, knowing my wolf vision would enable me to see her as clearly as if we were standing on the sunny beach. Bella's large brown eyes opened wide and rose up to meet my own, and for the third time that week, my world changed forever.