Chapter 2: Birth of a Hero

The big-chinned brat looks at me staring at him.

"Huh? What are you looking at?"

While I admit it's kinda rude, how can you blame me for staring at such a thing. What are you doing here? If you're caught by that thing, you're dead.

Calm down. Maybe it's not really him. Ummm…

"Hey kid, have you been messing with a giant crab monster lately?"

"Huh? Yeah, he was sleeping in the park, so I drew nipples on him with my marker."

Ugh. It's him. It's definitely him. He has no idea what he's done.

I keep staring at the double-ball-chinned brat. Yes, that's right. Double-ball-chinned! What do you even do in this situation? I may still have time. The monster hasn't found him, yet. Should I help?

The kid gives me a confused expression.

But this kid isn't even cute at all. That's right. It's his fault. Why the hell should I bother? To work is to lose, source me. It's none of my business. I should just stay out of it. My parents are waiting.

The kid just goes back to playing with his soccer ball. This kid must be a loner too. Right, who would even care if I don't do anything. I heave a light sigh and begin to walk away.

Who knows maybe the Crab won't even find him. Maybe I should at least tell him to go home…

"I… FOUND… YOU!"

Kuh! I moved even before the words registered in my ears. Dust clouds blow up in my face and dirty my suit. A thundering crash echoes as the giant crab claw is pounded into the dirt. I moved quick. Quicker than I have ever moved in my life. I guess those afternoon tennis lessons with my Totsuka those years ago really paid off. Wait, don't get distracted. Wait, WHAT THE HELL AM I EVEN DOING!? Ugh, too late now. I quickly face the kid in my arms that I just saved.

"Kid, he's after you, hurry up and get outta here!"

I hear the loud footsteps from the monster approach.

"Don't worry about me! Just hurry up and go!"

"B-but…" what the hell is it? "My soccer ball…"

"Your ball!" Are you joking!? Your life is in danger right now. Do you even care?

Pop!

The great Crablante had just crushed his all important soccer ball. I hear kid utter a small cry as the air the left his favorite ball.

"Hey, you, what's the big idea? Don't tell me you're going to save that kid's life."

"Hey, hey, come on, you're not really going to kill him over some little prank?" I try to persuade him. "Think about this!"

"Fuku!" the Crab face scoffs. "I've already mutilated lots of people. Whoever makes fun of the way I look pays the price. No exceptions."

Right. Even when I saw him earlier, I noticed but tried to ignore it. Even though his claws were red, I knew those stains couldn't have been anything else. I had thought I was actually going to die. Well, I may be proven right in a little bit. Damn it. What the hell am I even doing? Why do I even care?

"By the way, that brat drew nipples on my gorgeous body! With permanent marker, no less! Look at these claws, I can't even use a towel to wipe them off!"

The great Crablante pointed one of his giant claws at me and shouts out,

"Get in my way! And I'll make sure you'll never go job hunting again."

How incredibly petty. You're like a bad anime villain. Heh, does this make me some generic shounen protagonist. What am I supposed to do, attack his weak spot for massive damage or something, like he's some sort of boss monster?

"Hehe…" I begin to chuckle. "Hahahahaha!" I just burst out laughing.

"Fuku?" the great Crablante gives me a confused expression.

"It just came to me! You look like a villain from an anime I used to watch."

Right, what the hell matters anymore. I've made up my mind. I've committed social suicide to help people before. How different is thi…?

Guh! The giant claw came swinging at me. The air was forced out of my lungs immediately and I was sent flying to the other side of the park. A huge explosion of dust and debris spew forth as I land hard onto the trash cans near the restroom stalls. Ugh, couldn't you have picked a better place to throw me?

Ugh, looks like I'm tougher than I thought. I can see now why Hayama started to feel like he needed to compete against me in our third year. I guess carrying all that stuff for Isshiki all the time built up quite a bit of muscle.

The great Crablante marches over to the kid. I'm not gonna stop now. You haven't finished the job. You haven't killed me, yet.

The kid screams as the crab's shadow looms over him.

"Die." the crab eerily speaks.

I grab a small piece of concrete from the debris surrounding me and chuck it as hard as I could as the crab's face.

"Huh?" the crab says as he looks in my direction.

"Hold it right there. With the birth rate so low nowadays, I can't let you kill a kid."

Heh. I try to think of the lamest excuse I can think of. This kinda reminds me of my Chuunibyou days for some reason. Right… Forget being a corporate slave. Forget being a house husband. I saved Yuigahama's dog for this reason. I stood up to Yukinoshita's parents and screwed over my scholarship for this reason. I committed social suicide time and time again for this same reason.

"You know what. When I was little I always wanted to be a hero. Not some salaryman, but a hero that could send villains like you flying with one punch."

That's right. If these are my last moments, I'm going to live them the way I want. I strip off my corporate slave tie and wrap around my fist leaving the knot open.

"Screw looking for a job! Come on and Bring it on!"

"Some hero you are!"

"Argh!"

The claw came so fast, again like the first time, but I can see it. It's like trying to predict Totsuka's movements with a tennis racket.

"Ragh!"

"You're pathetic!"

And that's how his other arm moves. It sends me flying up again. I drop hard onto the ground hitting the side of my pelvis first of all things. Ow. I'm bleeding all over. My head is thumping, I think a few bones are broken, and I can't feel my face. But I don't care. This is the best I've felt in ages.

"You don't stand a chance against me. This is where…"

His next attack is coming. I can see it.

"…You die!"

I jump back and the claw lands just right in front of me.

I use it as leverage to vault myself over his head. I got one chance at this. Hit the boss monster at its weak spot. That's the ticket.

The open knot in the tie latches onto the base of the crab monster's right eye. I land right behind him and pull as hard as I could.

I hear something snap. The crab monster behind me screams. Squishy and slimy entrails I can hear are being pulled out and are dropping just behind me. The crustacean's raining bodily fluids spurt from his body and rain back down on me. I keep pulling. The entrails seem endless, but after a few more seconds pass, the last pieces finally come out of the now empty shell and wriggle and writhe on the ground before me.

I'm breathing heavily. My legs and arms are burning from muscle fatigue. Blood continues to trickle from hitting my head from that first attack earlier. But even so. Even with all of that, I've never felt so alive.

It's as if a fire has lit up inside me. Damn. How am I going to explain this to my parents? And especially, Komachi.


Author note(s): I was aiming for this to be a one-shot with only one chapter, but it looks like people are expecting more so why not. I think I may have went a lot OOC on this one, but what do you expect. I'm trying to put two characters into one. Anyway tell me in reviews what you think and also point out grammar mistakes. This was made relatively quickly.

Edit(s): Just fixed up some of the grammar and wording.