Well, it's been a long time coming. But here we are. A new chapter. My computer basically got zapped, so I'm stuck with working with another computer. So here we go again! :D
Onto review questions.
Dogbertcarroll: I understand and agree. But a parallel course need not be the same. and things will start shifting around.
Goku: Oh he is stronger. But he's got other and in some ways, more difficult problems to deal with.
Light: Better? Perhaps. ;)
Regarding the formatting: The system fucked up my format and it took me a few hours to get it fixed. Props to my last editor on that one.
That's another thing. I had to fire yet another editor, so the position is open again. Mostly just fixing spacing and breaking up paragraphs, but some spelling and grammer too.
So without further ado, here's Chapter 2 of The Re-education of the Horse.
Re-education of the horse
Lesson 2: Directions? We don't need no stinking directions!
Ranma looks up blearily as the light pierces his eyes. "Damn sunlight..." he mutters.
"Oh I don't know, I find it invigorating."
Ranma turns to see his father in sweatpants and no shirt, hanging upside down from the ceiling. He pulls a pillow over his head.
"It's 6am, go to hell pops."
Aaron flips out from the ceiling and lands next to the sleeping bag. "Been there, done that. You on the other hand, are about to receive a gift."
He lifts Ranma up. "When someone ambushes you in your room and you actually wake up and see them, don't fucking go back to sleep."
He jumpkicks Ranma through the open window into the nearby Koi pond. With a loud splash, Ranma bursts onto the surface of the pool.
"ASSHOLE! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!?"
"Dramatic value, and it was funny," Aaron says with an incredibly smug and stupid grin.
Ranma blinks. "What?"
"Distractions are a sure-fire way to get your ass beat. And your shirt's wet."
Ranma looks down while Aaron, seeing her reaction, jumps into the air and goes into a diving kick and Ranma takes a shot to the head. She jumps into the air, grabs Aaron and throws him down into the pool.
"You are a evil bitch sometimes, you know that," she growls.
Aaron throws a punch, which is in turned blocked by a forearm from Ranma. "I've been called worse. And evil is a matter of opinion."
Ranma launches a knee towards Aaron's stomach, only to have it blocked by Aaron lifting her leg and blocking with her knee. Ranma tries to dislocate Aaron's leg by wrapping it with her own. Aaron blocks the attempt with a spin.
"You're getting better. Let's kick it up a notch. Rising tackle!"
Aaron breaks out of the hold and flips upside-down, and goes into a spin with her legs kicking in the air and her arms spinning as a whirl of punches. Ranma goes flying into the wall.
"Your turn. Show me what I just did," Aaron declares. Ranma grumbles and goes into a stance.
"Rising tackle!" she shouts as she flips upside-down and attempts to emulate the move, only to have her balance screw up midway and land on her head. Aaron shakes his head.
"Ok, here's what you did wrong. You need to focus your ki into your legs and arms. You don't need to focus into your stomach as much, the balance has to be near your feet with the centrifugal force generated from your spin providing the force for your arms."
Ranma scratches the back of her neck. "Why not just focus the ki into your arms as well?" she asks.
Aaron shakes her head and tosses Ranma a towel. "Doesn't work. Without a heavy influx of ki into the legs, you'll thrash the tendons, or worse, you'll give the opponent an opening to shred your legs. It's as much for your protection as it is for damage."
Ranma grabs the towel from her 'father'. "So can't I just stick with the shoryuken? It's got better protection on the actual strike."
Aaron bops Ranma on the head.
"Because, Bakama, uppercut techniques suffer from one common weakness. You're committing to an uppercut or something like it, leaving you vulnerable if you miss or if your opponent has a counter. Using the same technique will only give them your timing and a way to counter it." She tosses Ranma a shirt. "And the Rising Tackle is good because it's hard to find the weakspot due to the spinning and the nature of the attack."
Ranma pulls the shirt over her head, with some difficulty. "How come I got the life-preservers and you get the decent sized ones? My back kills me every time I fight for awhile in this form."
A large alarm clock bonks off his head.
"Stop griping about it! You have better breasts than most real girls!" Akane yells out the window, with her hair frazzled.
"Like you have to worry about that! Yours are barely a quarter the size of mi...ow!"
A tapping sound is heard as Nabiki dressed in a large T-shirt and little else, her eyes bloodshot and angry, and Kasumi, in a flattering purple nightgown with a strained smile on her face, stand in the doorway.
"Mr. Saotome, can you please try and make your practice sessions later in the day?"
"Saotome, you owe me a large pot of coffee and 2000 Yen for waking me up before 7."
Ranma sighs and trudges inside. She pulls down some coffee beans and starts settting up the grinder. "Black, cream, or milk?" Nabiki smiles lightly.
"Cream, stud. And Kasumi takes hers with 2 cubes of sugar."
Ranma yawns and gives a thumbs up. After a few minutes, the beep of the machine tones. He hands two mugs to Kasumi and Nabiki and starts walking up the stairs. "I'm gonna go wash up before school starts. Can you please tell me when breakfast is?"
Kasumi takes a sip of the coffee her eyes widen for a moment, and she settles into a serene smile. "Of course Ranma-Kun."
Ranma returns to his trek to the bathroom. Nabiki looks quizzically at her elder sister. "What changed your tune?"
"An excellent cup of coffee, dear sister. And a very cute butt, if you had been paying attention," Kasumi says after taking another sip.
Nabiki looks up at the ascending Ranma. "Good point." She slugs down another cup of coffee. "Both are good for the body, and the soul."
A sound of a flame flaring up rings out behind them. Aaron is sitting at the table, smoking a small cigarette. "Kid always was good at mixing a mean cup of joe. A bit of ki-infusion works wonders."
Kasumi frowns. "Mr. Saotome, please do not smoke in the living room."
Aaron chuckles. "This is not a cigarette, despite certain people being unable to properly define it."
A rock hits him on the head.
"Getting back to what I was saying..." he looks around in preparation for another rock, "this is what commonly known as a spliff."
Akane comes down the stairs, dressed in sweats. "What the heck is that smell?"
Aaron blows a smoke cloud at her. "You're too young to appreciate it. Though on a hunch, your sisters might be in need of it."
Nabiki snaps her fingers. "Now I remember what that smell is. So Mr. Saotome, does daddy know you're a drug-user?" Aaron's shades fall down a space. "What the hell? What drugs? I'm not using anything at the moment." He pauses. "At least, I don't think I'm using anything. I don't remember last night very well, so who knows?"
A general facefault ensues.
"Besides, anyone who thinks weed is a drug needs to get high at least once." He grins. "I'm told it's good for PMS."
Kasumi puts a hand to her mouth, Nabiki snickers and Akane's jaw drops.
"Mr. Saotome, how can you advocate drug use?"
Aaron sighs. "It's not a damn drug, it's an herb. Hell, my wife uses it on occasion and when she gave birth to Ranma. Still damn near crushed my hand though..."
Akane shakes her head and goes upstairs. Aaron takes another toke, but then pauses. "She wouldn't be that stup..." he stops, and chuckles. "Law of inverse perversion."
Nabiki taps him on the shoulder. "And just what is that?"
"However much some people protest that they aren't perverts, they always seem to get into situations where they are accused as such."
A scream is heard followed by a yell of "PERVERT!" then "YOU WALKED IN ON ME!", and finally a resounding smash echoes through the house. Kasumi sighs. Aaron smirks. "Case in point."
Somewhere in Kenya...
A mob of protestors are gathered outside a police station. The sign (A/N: translated from the Kenyan into English for the readers) read: "Get out Nbuki!" "Democracy in Kenya!" and "We want REAL elections!"
The police are having difficulty controlling things. A captain finishes talking on his radio: Alright men, we have no choice. Prepare the tear gas."
He wipes his forehead. "Damn summer heat. And may god help us if any reporters are there..." he paused when he heard a loud crash. "What was that?"
Another loud crash, this time closer, is heard.
"You men hear that?"
One of them cups a hand around his ear. "Sounds like it's coming from underground."
A massive boom is heard as the ground collapses forming a large hole. A black-haired asian teenager with a yellow bandana with black spots crawls out. "YES! I'M FREE! I'M BACK ON THE SURFACE!!"
A man-sized creature with fur and claws is gnawing on his leg. "Get off! I've had it with you guys!" He kicks the creature back into the hole. More of the creatures swarm at his legs. He reaches into a large backpack on his back, and withdraws a bamboo umbrella. "I said, GO TO HELL!!" He then uses his one arm to wack the creatures off him back into the hole, while still holding himself over the ledge with one arm.
Once the creatures are gone, he sticks the umbrella back onto his back, and pulls himself up. "Stupid mole-men. That's the last time I use that method in Canada." he says in accented English. He kicks the ground near the hole, and the hole starts collasping onto itself.
The police are flabbergasted. "Where did you come from, and how did you get into a secure compound, through solid concrete?!" the captain yells.
Ryoga looks around and notices where he is. "Excuse me, do you know where Tokyo is?"
"Boy, are you crazy?! You're in Kenya. Tokyo is about 2000 miles that way."
Ryoga starts walking in the opposite direction. The Captain scratches his head.
"I thought I'd seen everything in this country..."
A lieutenant pokes the Captain in the shoulder.
"What?"
"Sir, that boy just tore the front gate open with his bare hands."
"Lieutenant, as I see, we had a freak earthquake and a faulty foundation. We will NOT report that some Asian kid popped up from a hole in the ground and tore through concrete. IS THAT CLEAR?!"
The officers salute. "Sir, yes sir!"
Meanwhile, said asian kid is wandering through downtown Nairobi. "Ranma, this time...you won't escape me!"
Back in Japan, several hours later.
Ranma groggily attempts to stare at the board while the history teacher drones on about World War 2.
"Mr. Saotome, since you seem to be grasping the lesson so well, would you mind telling me who the Prime Minister was during WW2?"
"Hideki Tojo."
"Alright, who were his counterparts in the Axis?"
"Mussolini and Hitler."
The teacher growls. "Alright then, since you seem to know everything, who was responsible for the Holocaust?"
"Germany. But Japan's hands aren't exactly clean either."
The classroom gasps when they heard this, looking back at the teacher, who suddenly began looking dangerous.
The Teacher walks up to Ranma's desk. "Care to repeat that statement?"
Ranma stands up. "Yep. Japan did almost as much violation of rights as the Nazi's. They just didn't kill as many."
"Get out of my classroom!"
Ranma flips him the bird. "Gladly. Anyone who has the WW2 Japanese flag on his briefcase is someone my pops would say is a pig."
"THAT DOES IT! YOU'RE SUSPENDED FOR 3 DAYS!!"
Ranma non-chalantly walks out the door. The bell for lunch rings. Akane dashes out the room. The gossip begins after she leaves.
"Did you hear that?"
"No, what?"
"Saotome flipped off Mr. Tagawa."
"No way!"
"Yeah, Tagawa suspended him."
About 5 minutes later, the gossip reaches the Ice Queen of Furinkan.
"Really? He actually said that?"
Her lieutenant nods.
"Tagawa was outraged. He's threatening to call the board of education. Said 'Saotome is a disgrace to the students of Japan.' Should we do something?"
Nabiki shakes her head. "Tagawa is a loon. It's just that most students here don't talk back to his garbage." She blinks as something hits her. "Wait, did he say his father would call Tagawa a pig?"
The girl nods.
"So he was taught to be this way...interesting," the Ice Queen ponders. She suddenly gets up from her seat. "I'm going to go see where he went. Knowing him, he's probably grabbing some lunch from the cafeteria before he leaves."
Furinkan Cafeteria
Ranma is looking over the lunches. He then sneezes. "Wonder who's talking about me now?"
The lunch lady gives him a flat stare. "Are you going to order, or not?" she asks.
Ranma glances down, and then returns her gaze. "I'll try the special."
"ONE SPECIAL!"
A nearby student grasps his stomach in pain. A girl next to him holds his arm.
"What's wrong, Saburo?" the girl asks.
"I don't know, my stomach is killing me..." Saburo grimaces. A strange movement appears to be taking place in Saburo's stomach. He looks down, only to see something trying to go through his stomach. Ranma's pigtail goes straight up.
"Um...what did he order?" he asks the lunch lady.
She looks up from her preparations. "The special."
Ranma blanches. "I'll take the soup instead."
Saburo screams as a strange alien organism bursts through his stomach. The creature's flat curved skull is dripping with stomach acids and blood, and it's small legs and arms are set in an attack posture.
"Oh no..."
He falls down. The small creature, pulls itself out and looks menacingly at the crowded students. It then pulls out a tophat and cane. From somewhere in the room, a ragtime beat starts playing. "Hello my baby! Hello my honey! Hello my ragtime gal!"
It starts dancing along the table.
"Send me a kiss by wire, baby my heart's on fire!"
Somehow, despite it's skeletal structure, the creature begins doing high kicks down the table. "If you refuse me, honey you'll lose me, then you'll be left alone!"
It begins going backwards down the table, with several shocked students looking on.
"Oh baby, telephone, and tell me I'm your own!" The music builds to a crescendo and ends. The creature takes a bow, then darts into a hole in the wall. Ranma blinks twice, then vanishes with a whoosh, leaving behind a hole in the wall.
Furinkan front gates, about 3 mins later...
Ranma is looking around nervously. He breathes out slowly. "Next time, I'm gonna ask Kasumi where a good place to eat is."
"RANMA, PREPARE TO DIE!"
Ranma blinks in surprise, and looks around. He then shrugs. "Ok, who did my pops screw over this time?"
"YOU MORON, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO RAN AWAY!"
Ranma looks around for the voice shouting at him. A shadow appears above him. Ranma looks up, then flips out of the way of the oncoming attack. The spot where he was standing is now a crater, with a young man in a yellow tunic, spotted bandana and a furious expression on his face.
"I've finally found you, Ranma Saotome."
Ranma scratches the back of his head. "I have the strangest feeling I should know you."
The bandanaed youth facefaults into the crater.
"YOU'RE NOT GETTING OUT OF OUR MATCH THAT EASILY, YOU COWARD!"
Ranma takes up a stance. "Coward? I don't take that lying down. But...I really feel like I should know you."
"IT'S RYOGA, DAMN IT! From junior high?" Ryoga yells out with a non-plussed expression.
Ranma's face lights up. "How long has it been, few years?"
"3-4 years since then. But I'm not going to forgive you for running out on our match because of our past friendship."
Ranma settles back into his previous stance. "Pops always says some fights can't be ignored. Let's rock."
Ranma makes a come hither gesture. Ryoga charges at him. Ranma tries a leg sweep, Ryoga counters by jumping over it and kicking at Ranma's head. Ranma swings his head out of the way, and grabs Ryoga's leg, tossing him aside. Ryoga regains his balance with a quick flip.
Ranma tries a jab and roundhouse combo, but Ryoga takes the opportunity to go inside and take a few shots at Ranma's spleen. Ranma grimaces, then rabbit punches Ryoga in the throat. Ryoga gasps for air, only for Ranma to start hammering him on the chest with rapid straights. Ranma overextends himself on one straight, which Ryoga capitalizes on by pulling him close and headbutting him.
They both step back abit. Ranma is rubbing his side, and Ryoga has a bloody lip. "I think we're warmed up enough." Ranma says with a grin. Ryoga shows a fang on his own grin and nods. "So why the prepare to die speech?"
"Seemed like a good way to get your attention." Ranma sighs upon hearing that.
"The old man has a bad habit of siccing weirdoes on him as 'training.' " Ranma looks around and sees a sizable crowd has gathered.
Ryoga hits his arms together. "The only thing that will make my winning better, is seeing you get humiliated by all these people."
"I got 500 yen on the new kid!"
"Are you crazy, the odds are 4-1 against him!?"
Ryoga facefaults.
"HEY! Why do I get 4-1 odds?"
Nabiki pops her head out of the crowd.
"More profitable and everyone already knows Ranma will win."
Ryoga shakes with visible anger. "DONT UNDERESTIMATE ME!"
He grabs a nearby tree, and uproots it with one hand gripping the bark. He throws it at Ranma, who cocks back a fist.
"Burn knuckle!" he shouts as he dashes forward, his fist impacting the tree in mid-flight. A hole explodes outward from the point of impact, and the tree crashes down where it was struck.
The crowd is awe-struck. Ryoga on the other hand is cracking his knuckles.
"So you want me to give it my best huh? You're not the only one with special techniques."
He takes off a few bandanas, with one still left on his head.
"What's he doing?" someone whispers in the crowd.
Ryoga sets them spinning with a flick of his fingers. "Now, witness the bandana barrage, one of the Hibiki family secrets!" Ryoga throws 3 at Ranma, who stands still letting them pass him. He turns around and blinks seeing one slice through a tree, and another take a gouge out of concrete. He turns back to Ryoga.
"Wow. Who taught you that one?"
"Already said it, it's a family technique. Now try dodging six."
He takes off six bandanas and starts throwing them at Ranma. Ranma weaves through them dashes up to Ryoga. Ryoga hits the ground in front of him, obscuring himself with a burst of dirt from his strike. Ranma closes his eyes to protect them. Ryoga goes into a spin kick at Ranma, nailing him in the side.
Ranma blinks to clear his eyes, just barely seeing Ryoga go into a 2nd spin kick. Ranma counters with his own, both their legs up into the air.
"Still think you can take me down like junior high?" Ryoga growls.
"Anytime you want to step up, you're going back down," Ranma snarls back.
Ryoga pulls off a bandana, only for Ranma to sidestep the descending ax kick after having broken the stalemate and landing an elbow in Ryoga's solar plexus. Ryoga gasps for air, then roars with anger as he throws Ranma into the air with one hand.
"Tatsumaki Senpu Kyaku!" Ranma goes into a spin kick and spins through the air towards Ryoga. Ryoga pulls his belt off in a single motion, and grabs Ranma's leg with it.
"I can't believe you were that stupid." Ryoga yanks on the belt and throws Ranma towards the school walls. Ranma focuses ki into his legs and bounces off the wall, breathing hard. Ryoga is grimacing and smiling at the same time.
"You can barely stand. How can you win against me?"
Ranma checks his legs for injuries. He then nods and stands up. "You're as damaged as I am right now." Ranma starts walking towards him. "Let's finish it in one strike."
Nabiki looks on from the sidelines. "Girls, keep watching, it appears to be almost over."
"Ma'm, the bets are currently favoring Ranma by a slight margin. But the new boy Ryoga had a large wager placed on him by Kuno."
Nabiki turns around. "How much?"
"20,000 yen."
Nabiki gives a flat stare.
"How long ago did he place that bet?"
"Just before Ranma was sent flying to the wall."
Nabiki sighs. "We can't do anything to affect the fight at this point, so just pray the gods of luck are favoring us."
"The gods favor those who are their champions and declare themselves as such. They could never turn against one as favored as me." Kuno says with an air of nobility as he walks up. Nabiki reviews her notes on the bets.
"So why did you bet on Ryoga, Kuno-baby?"
"Simple, one as fierce as him is surely blessed by the gods as I am, though his blessings are not as magnificent and generous as mine," he says while sniffing a rose.
Nabiki snickers and holds up a hand mirror. "Is that why they marked you with 'Dumbshit' on your forehead?"
Kuno glances at the image and 'hmphs' at it. "A true warrior would have used caligraphy, not english."
Ryoga punchs a hand into his palm. "Get up, my victory isn't complete until you surrender or you're unconscious."
Ranma chuckles.
"What's so funny?"
Ranma shakes his head. "I missed this. It's just like when we were in junior high." He stands up and stretches his arms and legs. "I haven't been able to fight someone who was a near equal for awhile."
A voice suddenly takes Ranma by surprise. "If husband want beating that badly, then Perfume will oblige!"
Ranma blahches and looks around. "Oh god no, I left them back in China!"
"Who's Perfume?" a student asks.
"I don't know, a supermodel?" Random Student #2 answers.
"I'm up here!" a voice cries out from above. The student body looks up, seeing a chinese brunette in a blue pantsuit with another chinese girl with purple hair and two bonbori.
"Nihao Airen, long time no see." The brunette draws out a small ax. "Running out on Amazon wife very very bad thing." she says with a sinister smile.
Ranma smacks his forehead. "Awwww shit..."
A/N: Well, it was a long and difficult struggle. But eventually my muse won out. I posted a small chapter. I hate doing that, but I had to end this one and start on something different for the next chapter. Sometimes, you just can't write anymore. shrugs Been awhile since I wrote, but I'm happy to say I am finally back and I feel like churning out a few chapters. Woot.
New announcement: thanks to a friend of mine, I was able to get this chapter fixed and posted properly. I think you can all judge it in it's true character now. Mad props to my good friend, Demon Eyes Laharl.
"Uh... hey, guys. DEL here. Yeah, as you know, I'm unofficially AWOL because of very good PS2 games like Arcana Hearts, Mana Khemia and Persona 3: FES. But... when I saw Aaron's new chapter, unedited... I had to step in. Anyways... hopefully, you can enjoy the fic chapter fully without being reminded of blocks. Or LEGOs. XD.
thanks Budsy. :D
